A/N: So, I blame this entirely on Free! but also on the fact that Penumbra is just a pile of horribly depressing nonsense right now and I can't fix it yet.

A/N #2: So… this is kind of an experiment, I guess. It's really two stories, told at the same time, 14-10 years apart.

A/N #3: Not a cross-country expert. Just researching what I can. If any of you ARE runners and want to share precious intel I'm happy to hear it!

Warnings: Angst, language, sex, angst

Pairings: 1X2X3 and others

Before Now

Chapter Four

Before

"You know, we should probably run in the off season, if we want to do better next year."

Heero had started to eat lunch with Duo and Trowa, and even though it was the middle of November and cold enough that they were all in jackets and Duo's nose was red from the cold, they sat outside, under the tree that seemed to be their usual spot.

"Probably," Trowa agreed with Duo.

Duo turned to Heero and arched an eyebrow.

Heero shrugged.

It would be another excuse to get out of the house, a reason to stay away, and he wasn't about to turn down that opportunity. But he didn't want to seem pathetically eager, either.

"We can just do our same practice everyday?" Duo suggested. "Run five k here on campus?"

"I read that weight training helps," Heero had to add.

Duo tapped his lips thoughtfully.

"There's some free weights and things at the church community center. Maybe we could go there a few days a week and run the other days?"

"We could go to the park on Saturdays," Trowa suggested, his voice quiet.

"Huh?" Duo frowned. "Like out at the mountain? That's like twenty miles away. It'd be a forty mile run just to get there."

Trowa gave him a look.

"There's a bus. We can take it out in the mornings and then back in the afternoon. It would be good to practice on more intense terrain."

And it would mean more time away from home.

Heero nodded in agreement.

Duo grinned.

"Awesome - but can we maybe sleep in a little? It would not hurt my feelings at all if I didn't have to wake up at five in the morning on Saturdays anymore."

Trowa shook his head.

"Lazy."

"I am not lazy. I just happen to have a very intimate relationship with my pillow."

Heero had to smile at Duo, at the way Trowa teased him. He saw the way Trowa looked at Duo, saw the way he smiled at him sometimes when Duo wasn't looking, saw the way his eyes followed him, and he wondered.

The lunch bell rang and they went their separate ways, agreeing to start running tomorrow, and while Heero wished they could just start today, none of them had their gear.

So he spent his afternoon trying to focus on his classes, trying to feign interest in the lectures when he had already completed all of his homework for the week and read two chapters ahead in all of his classes.

He was, most unfortunately, partnered with Relena in Biology and had to endure her flirtation for the full ninety minutes. He had only barely avoided her at her party two weeks ago, had avoided her and the pointed stares from her step-brother Zechs, the knowing looks from Relena's friends. Only Duo's presence at the party had saved Heero, and he would forever be grateful to the long haired boy for extricating him time and time again from Relena's company, making excuses for Heero to avoid every stupid party game and attempt to get Heero and Relena alone together and somehow Heero had actually enjoyed himself, had actually enjoyed Duo's company and the crazy antics he had pulled to ensure Heero's freedom.

But Duo wasn't in his Biology class, and neither was Trowa. So he had no backup, had to endure Relena on his own and had to complete the frog dissection entirely on his own because Relena was green-faced and refused to even look at the frog much less participate.

Which was fine with Heero, except that Relena kept grabbing at his shoulder when she heard a particular disturbing sound or exclamation from their classmates.

By the end of the day Heero was in a foul mood and as he rode the bus home he contemplated just getting his running gear and taking off, just spending the rest of the afternoon running and trying to forget about how utterly miserable he was in most of his classes.

But Odin was home that afternoon, and while Heero might be ahead on his schoolwork, there were always household chores to do, always reasons for Odin to scowl at him and Heero knew he wouldn't be able to escape for a run so easily today.

As soon as he walked in the door he knew something was wrong.

Spot didn't greet him.

Spot, the dalmatian that Heero had stupidly named spot when he was eight because it had seemed like the ideal name for the dog, had even seemed clever to his eight year old self.

"Spot?" He called out hesitantly and walked through the house, walked through each of the rooms, even risked opening Odin's door to peak in but it was empty, just like all of the other rooms.

Frowning and anxious, Heero went outside and approached Odin's greenhouse.

It was his step-father's sanctuary, and Heero almost never went inside. His mother used to grow herbs in there, used to spend hours in there and when he was young Heero had worked in the greenhouse with her, but after she died Odin took over tending to her plants and Heero was no longer welcome.

Hesitantly, he knocked on the door to the greenhouse.

"Come," Odin called, his voice deep and brusque.

"I can't find Spot," Heero said as soon as he opened the door. Odin didn't care much for small talk.

Odin snorted and didn't even bother to look up from the plant he was examining.

"Gone."

"What?"

"Damn dog ate another pair of my shoes. I told you last time it happened I wouldn't stand for it anymore."

Heero stared at Odin in disbelief, and Odin looked up to see his expression. Odin sneered.

"I warned you, Heero. I told you to keep that dog under control."

"But -"

"Do not back talk me, Heero," Odin snapped. "How much money have I wasted on that damn animal? All the vet bills, all the shoes and socks and furniture she chewed up." Odin shook his head. "You're too old for a pet in any case. It's time for you to grow up."

Heero swallowed hard, swallowed down his urge to shout, to cry, and instead he inclined his head.

"Go do your chores and your homework," Odin suggested.

Heero nodded rapidly and then turned on his heel and walked back into the house. He swept and vacuumed and took out the trash and then he sat down at the desk in his room and stared at his computer, stared at his stack of books and he couldn't bring himself to do anything, couldn't think of anything except Spot.

He rose from the chair and flung himself on the bed, buried his face in the pillows and he heard a dull, sad squeak.

He dug Spot's favorite toy out from behind the pillow. The ratty, faded squeaky dog toy that she had loved so much.

And as he held it in his hand and squeaked it, knowing she wasn't going to come, Heero started to cry.

-o-

Now

Heero had finished off his fourth beer when he realized.

It was Friday night.

Trowa never came to Full Moon on Friday nights. He almost always worked Saturday mornings and he didn't like to stay up late, didn't like to drink too much the night before an early morning and Heero should have remembered that.

He would have, had it not been the Friday that Duo Maxwell showed up in Granville after a ten year absence and had the gall to look even more beautiful than Heero remembered, had the gall to look hurt by Heero's anger.

The years had sure as hell been kind to Duo, he had grown up and damn it all but he was still irresistible.

Heero paid for his last round and decided to just go, maybe he could walk over to Trowa's house and see if he was still awake, see if he was in the mood - because Heero needed something to ground him, needed Trowa's body to steady him and help him forget Duo.

Except maybe that wouldn't work this time. Because even as Heero thought about Trowa fucking him, he thought about Duo, thought about the last time they had all been together, that weekend camping trip by the lake and sharing that damned small tent and piling their sleeping bags together and not even hiking, not even doing much of anything aside from fucking each other as many different ways as they possibly could.

On his way out of the bar, Heero saw Wufei sitting alone, and the dark eyed man caught his gaze, nodded and gestured for Heero to come his way.

Heero sighed.

Wufei was okay. Some of the times they got along perfectly well, others they went weeks without speaking to each other, and while they were currently on good terms, Heero couldn't help but think that whatever Wufei wanted to say to him would surely put an end to that.

"Where's Hilde?"

Wufei and Hilde usually came here on Friday nights, usually had a few beers and listened to the crappy local cover band that played crappy live music for a few hours.

Wufei snorted.

"Where do you think? With Duo. They're probably off getting drunk or high or defacing public property somewhere."

Heero had to arch an eyebrow at Wufei's tone, at his nonchalant attitude.

"Getting high?"

Wufei shrugged one shoulder.

"Probably not that one. Hilde's pregnant."

Heero frowned. He hadn't known.

"Congratulations."

Wufei nodded.

"Thank you."

Heero remembered the last time Hilde had been pregnant, just after Heero and Wufei finished at the Academy and moved back to Granville and Wufei had proposed, had wanted to do the right thing and Hilde had told him to fuck off. And now, five years later, they still weren't married and were expecting their second child. He didn't understand them at all.

Heero hesitated. He sure as hell didn't want to ask Wufei about Duo, but he wanted to know. Hell. He needed to know.

"How long is he in town?"

Wufei shrugged one shoulder.

"Don't know. He met with Quatre today about the will and seemed pretty pissed about it."

Heero arched an eyebrow at that. He wondered what Duo could have possibly expected from Father Maxwell after turning his back on the man and his wife ten years ago.

Wufei was looking at him strangely.

"What?"

"You, Trowa and Duo were so close in high school. I've never understood what happened."

Neither did Heero, if truth be told. One day they were planning to spend the summer hiking the Appalachian Trail, planning Fall Breaks and Winter Breaks and weekend visits and then next Duo was telling them he was leaving for New York, had enrolled in summer courses at NYU and telling Heero and Trowa they should grow up, start thinking about their futures and stop thinking they could make stupid dreams come true. And then he had left, had stopped answering Heero's calls, had never come back to Granville, had completely forgotten about Heero and Trowa.

"We grew up," Heero muttered and he contemplated another beer.

Wufei arched an eyebrow, clearly unimpressed with the answer.

"I always thought…" Wufei trailed off, shrugged and took another sip of his beer.

Heero rolled his eyes. Wufei was so damn obvious.

"Thought what?" He demanded, taking the bait.

"I just thought Trowa and Duo and you - you three seemed inseparable. The three of you versus the world."

Yes. Things had been like that. But that had been before.

"Like I said. We grew up."

Heero walked away, not even bothering with a proper goodbye, and he walked out of the bar and into the light chill of the night air. It was still early autumn, before the leaves really started to change, before the air had any real bite, and Heero walked briskly down the quiet streets to Trowa's house, the mile all too short by the the time he found himself on the front porch.

He hesitated and realized it was late, realized Trowa was probably already asleep, but what the hell. He was here now.

Heero knocked and instantly there was the sound of a dog barking and the scramble of feet across the floor.

Heero winced. Well, Trowa was definitely up now.

A moment later the front door opened and a sleep tousled Trowa glared at him.

"Can I come in?" Heero asked.

Trowa sighed, scooped up Death and let Heero in.

The dog whimpered in Trowa's arms, wriggling and wagging his tail.

Trowa closed the door and set the dog down and it immediately jumped on Heero, whimpered until Heero leaned down and picked it up.

He stared into Death's single eye and wondered if the dog remembered him. He absently rubbed his head and belly a few times and then put him back on the floor.

Trowa, meanwhile, stared at him with an expression that was just barely neutral.

"Sorry it's late," Heero said.

Trowa sighed and shrugged one shoulder.

"I couldn't sleep anyway."

Heero nodded.

"Duo?"

Trowa scowled but after a moment he nodded.

Heero sighed. He didn't really know what to say. He sure as hell didn't want to talk about Duo, but then again… who else could he talk to about Duo?

"Wufei doesn't know how long he's in town for," Heero said, thinking it only fair to share the information with Trowa.

Trowa frowned.

"I don't understand why he's here at all. He didn't come back for Helen's funeral."

"Wufei said something about the will?" Heero shrugged. "I don't know."

Trowa frowned slightly.

"Did you ever talk to him? After he left?"

Trowa had never asked him that before. In fact, they had never even mentioned Duo's name to each other before this past week. Not since Duo had left them.

"No. I called him once - called his dorm but he wasn't in and his roommate was a prick."

Trowa's lips twitched and Heero rolled his eyes at Trowa's amusement, at Trowa's obvious thought that of course Heero hadn't bothered to leave a message or try calling again.

"You?"

Trowa shrugged one shoulder again.

"I went to New York once, when I was twenty."

Heero hadn't known that, but then again, Trowa hadn't moved back to Granville until he was twenty five and had already finished his master's degree.

"You saw him?"

Trowa nodded.

"He was… he had moved on. There was no point in trying to talk to him."

Heero could only imagine what had been going through Trowa's mind, could only imagine why he had bothered to go after Duo in the first place and then to realize Duo had just forgotten about them completely…

"I'm not in the mood for sex tonight, Heero," Trowa sighed.

"Neither am I," Heero admitted. "I don't want to think about Duo."

Trowa nodded.

"Then why did you come?"

It was Heero's turn to shrug.

"Nowhere else I wanted to go."

Trowa's gaze was intense and it felt like he was searching for something as he looked into Heero's eyes.

"You want to sleep here?"

Heero had never stayed over. Trowa had never asked him to.

He hesitated and Trowa shrugged.

"Forget -"

"No," Heero interrupted him. "I'd like to."

He pulled out his phone and texted Relena, told her he was crashing on Trowa's couch after too many beers and would come by the house in the morning before his shift.

He followed Trowa into the bedroom and stripped out of his clothes, Trowa's eyes on him the entire time.

Death jumped up on the bed and made a great show of curling up on the pillows beside Trowa, making it clear that he thought Heero should sleep elsewhere.

Heero snorted and picked him up, unceremoniously dropped him off at Trowa's feet and climbed into the bed.

Trowa turned off the light and Heero stared up into the darkness for a long while.

"I can't believe I still miss him," Trowa confessed.

Heero rolled over so that he was facing Trowa. He reached out and pulled Trowa against him, settled Trowa's back against his front and spooned him the way he had done years ago, back in high school.

"I hate that I still -" Heero caught himself. He wasn't even sure what he had been about to say.

Still missed him? Sure. Still wanted him? Pathetically true. Still needed him? Probably, judging from the way his damn pulse had shuddered at Duo's proximity, at the way Duo had looked at Relena like she was crazy, had been on the exact same page as Heero still, after all this time. Still loved him?

Heero hoped to hell that wasn't the case.