AN: Okay I feel bad because this is sort of a filler chapter and a Bill heavy chapter, so if you read up quickly and promise to swear on your mothers eyes that you will continue to read, Ill put Chapter 5 up tomorrow. Lots more happens in Chapter 5. ;)

Hehe, blackmailing and kidding aside, thanks again to all my readers and for those who take the time to review, throws kisses out. Thank you. xoxo Feeding the writers is always a good thing. :D

Okay, here we go.

Chapter 4-Crossroads

Luckily Bill's injuries weren't that serious. They just asked him to stay over night for observation incase he had a severe concussion, but it turned out it was just a mild one. And thankfully he only escaped with a few minor scrapes and bruises. His jeep on the other hand didn't hold up so well. I was just so relieved he was okay, I offered to stay with him all day. I even called in to work to tell Sam I was taking the day off to tend to Bill.

My Gran came by that morning to check up on us, and right before Bill was about to be released later that afternoon, I saw Eric come in. My pulse quickened as he walked towards me, wondering what he came here for.

I instantly felt guilty again, thinking if I had been with Bill last night and not hanging out at home with Eric, fantasizing about him, and that kiss again, Bill might not be here.

"How is he?" Eric asked meeting me at the end of the corridor, and I nodded my head looking down at my hands awkwardly…

"He's fine, the doctor is filling out his discharge papers right now."

I quickly looked up at him not sure what reaction to prepare for because I didn't expect Eric to be here of all places. I looked around for his doctor or a nurse to latch onto because I felt like a bad girlfriend for leaving Bill so long.

"And how are you?" He finally replied not allowing me any time to dwell, his hard look forcing my gaze up into his deep blue eyes. He actually looked concerned to my surprise.

"I'm good." I breathed nodding my head, still needing to convince myself of that fact I explained to him…

"I took today off work and am going to stay with Bill while he recovers."

He creased his brows and looked down at the floor. I thought he might ridicule me, and trust me when I say I was in no mood for berating, but he only asked me…

"Is there anything I can do to help? Do you need me to pick up his car or bring some of your clothes over to his house?"

I looked up at him in my melancholy haze suddenly having the strangest feeling inside.

I imagined Eric and Bill had switched places and Eric had been in the car accident instead of Bill, and that thought took some of the edge off this stressful morning. I knew it wasn't because I wanted to see Eric hurt or more deserving of the pain. As much as I wanted to deny it, I realized I thought of it because I selfishly wished it was Eric I was taking care of.

I closed my eyes knowing I would surely go to hell for thinking such things. Especially after all Bill had gone through, I wanted to go home with Eric? I was Satan in a Sunday hat, pure evil, like the serpent in the garden of Eden. Shaking my head and looking down at my feet once more I whispered…

"No I'm fine."

I had to do this alone and without help. I had to make up for my sins.

Suddenly I felt Eric wrap his arms around my small frame and hold me to him, making me feel safe and secure in his embrace. I could feel his heart pounding against my cheek and I was thankful for him, even though I know we didn't always see eye to eye and I didn't deserve his compassion, I was thankful. I closed my eyes and just for a moment imagined everything was okay and I was where I was supposed to be. Just for a moment.

"Ahem?" I heard a voice from off to the side interrupting my bliss and I looked over and saw the nurse standing there with her clipboard.

"He is ready to go."

She looked back from me to Eric in question, my arms still clasped tightly around his body and I finally pulled back and nodded my head announcing…

"Thanks, Ill be there in just a moment."

"Do you want me to help you get him in the car?" Eric asked and I shook my head…

"No, Ill be fine, besides if he sees you it might upset him." I added truthfully.

Eric nodded his head in acceptance trying to lighten the mood he replied…

"True, but then he might injure himself again and you wouldn't have to stay with him in that dingy old house where he's probably got spiders and rats bigger than you are."

Despite the seriousness of the situation, Eric had brought a small smile to my face. It was true, Bills house could definitely use a woman's touch. I guessed it was older than this town, and he was too busy with me and his internet business to keep it up-to-date. I replied taking his hand for just a moment, not aware of the small gesture but it was strange how naturally it came and I remarked…

"Thanks for the offer, but Ill take my chances."

He smiled back warmly, squeezing my hand gently, he replied…

"Well if you need anything, you just have to ask, I could even bring a shovel for your protection."

He smirked and for some reason I felt something flutter in my stomach. His gaze lingered on mine for a moment and then finally he blinked and replied softly…

"I'm glad to hear he is doing better…Take care of yourself Sookie."

He smiled and then turned away, but before he did I called back to him…

"Eric?"

He turned around and looked at me those striking blue eyes holding me under his spell and I finally concluded…

"Thanks for coming."

"Any time." He replied with a smile, and a blink, and then he was off.

The rest of the afternoon I spent cooking and cleaning for Bill. The time we spent together wasn't what I would call quality, but he let me read to him and before he drifted off to sleep he told me that he loved me. I wish I could say his confession had me bouncing off the walls, but I felt more relieved that he was finally going to sleep. Still, I knew I loved him. We were just going through a rough patch right now. We'd work it out. Being the faithful girlfriend, or at least devoted girlfriend I was, I stayed the night. Luckily I had some spare clothes in my car. I always had spare clothes to change out of after my work shift, so since I didn't go into work, I reaped the benefits of thinking ahead.

In the morning, Bill was still groggy but he was able to get up and walk around. While I was making breakfast I even caught him playing pro golf on his Wii, so I knew he was on the mend.

It was Monday and I was sure I missed my Gran, already feeling slightly disappointed for not getting to say goodbye to her I told Bill I had to run home before work.

"I wish you would reconsider my offer to stay here with me." He replied as I finished putting away the dishes and I shook my head and answered…

"You know how I feel about that."

He sighed and nodded his head coming up behind me he nuzzled his lips into my neck and replied with a low growl intending foreplay…

"Yes, I do, but that won't stop me from trying."

He put his hand on my breast, alerting me to his speedy recovery. I knew it was only a matter of time. One thing led to another and before I knew it I was getting dressed again, this time pulling my tousled hair up into a tight pony tail.

He tried to convince me to stay longer but I knew what that would lead to, and I had to get ready for work soon.

It was different from the first time I have to confess, lets just say I was naïve to the desires of man, oral desires, and Bill reasoned that it wasn't really sex that way, just having fun, which he wanted both of us to have. I couldn't argue with him, he had a hell of a night and it was the least I could do as his girlfriend. In a way relieved that we didn't have to conduct in intercourse again because after all the emotional turmoil from last night I wasn't prepared to deal with the stress of it all. When he came I felt like it was a job well done and I made him lunch before I left.

I kissed him goodbye and before I left Bill proclaimed…

"Don't worry Sookie, I have a feeling after our date tonight you will be a very happy woman."

He smiled at me and I smiled sheepishly in return asking him what he had in mind for our date, but he wouldn't tell me any more. Just to be ready after work. I nodded my head and made my way home

I wished I could say spending time with Bill and having oral sex with him made me feel better or at least alleviated my conscience a little, but I felt even more twisted inside. I hoped wherever Eric was, I didn't run into him before my shift.

When I got home I hadn't found Eric but I did find Jason in his usual spot inside the kitchen raiding our fridge.

"What's wrong did the grocery store run out of food?" I asked catching him stuffing his face with leftover pecan pie. He just smirked, wiped his hand off on his jeans and grabbed a beer from the fridge.

"Nice to see you too sis."

I rolled my eyes, just wanting to go to my room, but I figured I needed to play nice and catch up with my brother. I hadn't seen him for a few days and finally he replied…

"So what's the story on Thor?"

I followed Jason's gaze out to the backyard where Eric had just come out of the tool shed carrying some 2 by 4's for siding. I swallowed feeling that pain and unsettling pit again and I shook my head as if there was nothing to tell and explained…

"He's just staying here for a few months to fix up the house, it was all Gran's idea."

"And where is he stayin?" Jason asked puffing his chest out as he looked out into the backyard. I couldn't help but role my eyes at his pathetic male macho territorial bull crap and I answered sharply, knowing this would really get under Jason's skin…

"In your room actually."

Jason scoffed, rolling his eyes he remarked glaring back at Eric after taking a swig of his beer…

"He better not be fuckin his girlfriend in there, that's all I gotta say."

I shook my head and eased his pathetically aching conscience explaining…

"I don't think he has a girlfriend."

Jason looked back at me and scoffed, then smirked replying smartly…

"You could have fooled me…I saw him kissin some hot blonde just as I was pullin up the driveway, and when I say hot, I mean smoking, man the legs on this girl, and the tits up to…"

"Jason!" I cut him off suddenly feeling sick to my stomach. I didn't want to hear any more. Eric had a girlfriend now? And a hot blonde too boot? No wonder he didn't want to talk about his history with me. He probably had a whole line up of women just waiting for him to chase after them, or maybe a bad break up and didn't want to revisit or burden me with an explanation.

"Well she was hot, man I need to ask him for some tips on how to catch tail as fine as that."

By that time I had tuned Jason out, I couldn't hear him any more, let alone my own thoughts which kind of all blended together into one big grumbled blurb.

I looked out the window and watched him cut away at the wood feeling a sense of great sadness and dread. I wondered about my life and where it was going. I felt like I was at a cross roads and if I didn't chose the right path, I would regret it for the rest of my life.

But right now, I didn't have a choice, I had to go to work. Unfortunately if I thought the day had started off bad, I underestimated the power of the fates. I knew Bill's promise would come back to haunt me and when I finished with my shift at Merlottes, I found out just what he meant when he said he was going to make me a very happy woman, and the irony did not escape me.

As promised, Bill took me on an amazing date. He pulled out all the stops, dinner at a French bistro, some dancing and a moonlit stroll afterwards around his property. When we got to the house, to his back porch, he got down on one knee and I knew what was coming.

"Sookie, you are the love of my life, I never thought Id find love again after I lost Sarah but you proved me wrong. My accident yesterday only cemented the fact that we are meant to be together, forever. I wanted to do this outside my house, my home, the most important thing to me because you are my home Sookie, and I want to share it with you."

My eyes started to well up and I felt tears creep out from under the surface. An overwhelming feeling of anxiety and dread washed over me as he continued.

Bill took my hand and he took a box out of his pocket, slid out the ring and slipped it on my finger.

"Sookie, would you do me the honor of becoming my wife?"

The tears flowed more freely now and I lifted the ring up to look at it in the moonlight.

"Bill." I muttered wondering why he chose this moment and this day of all days to do this. Wasn't this every woman's dream? This was supposed to be my dream too. Bill was a good man and I knew he would be a wonderful husband and father. I looked out past his property searching for a sign, any sign. The moon was full and the night was warm and airy, but I felt like I was suffocating.

'What do you say Sookie?" He asked me in earnest his blue eyes shining as he looked up at me, but all I could do was cry and then I turned away from him and put my face in my hands.

He stood up and went over to me and asked…

"Sookie, what is it? That wasn't exactly the reaction I was hoping for."

I finally wiped away what tears I could and turned to him after taking a deep breath pleading with him…

"Bill I just need a little time, is that okay? Can you give me some time?"

I wanted so desperately to say yes, yes I wanted to marry him, but something was holding me back, fear, anxiety, that pit in my stomach…

"I don't understand." He turned around to face me and I looked up at him pleadingly…

"I thought this is what you wanted, this is what we wanted?"

I bit my lip and nodded my head looking down at the ring, I nodded again and finally replied with a gasp feeling at this very moment like the air was leaking out of me…

"It is what I want, I just need time, please Bill, if you love me will you please give me that?"

He looked at me for a moment and I thought I saw hate in his eyes, but as quick as it came, it went, and he finally looked down at his hands and replied quietly…

"All right Sookie."

I went up to him and hugged him, desperate to feel that connection, but I just felt more isolated and as I pulled away I nodded and kissed his cheek knowing he was still upset…

"Thank you…I'll see you tomorrow then."

"Why don't you take a few days to think it over." Bill replied in challenge.

I looked back at him thinking that was fair, but could I really figure out what I wanted to do with the rest of my life in a few days? The scary part in all of it was, I always thought I would know the moment I met him who I would end up marrying, but now I wasn't so sure.