Hello, Fangirl Consultant,

So, I recently became obsessed with the coolsauceness Broadway musical Hamilton. Not that that is the problem, but everyone around me is done with me. I have tried to resist, but I am simply non-stop. Should I continue with my hamiltonious endeavors, or should I give in to peer pressure?

- The-Confused-Fangirl-Yo

...

Dear The-Confused-Fangirl-Yo,

This is a very deep, very serious issue, so this is going to be a long one.

I would like to ask you if this just a case of the Banters, or are you actually being ostracized?

If it's the former, then... I honestly can't say much. Banter matches are usually quite harmless, kind of like the "GREAT BISCUIT WAR" you may have already encountered (fought in the forums between the US authors, and the UK authors- really, guys. Biscuits and cookies. Different sides of the same coin.). Banter matches should not, I repeat, SHOULD NOT be considered actual fighting. It's essentially playful and usually affectionate harassment, and shouldn't be what this is about.

A banter gone bad is another story entirely- what happens when someone takes genuine offense at a banter scrap.

If you're fighting a banter-battle, then the entire argument is honestly rather pointless, and you don't need to read any further.

However, if you are actually being genuinely and viciously harassed by your acquaintances, then by all means, read on.

First off, a lot of the problem is identifying the underlying issue. For example, if your friends just rib you endlessly for just for liking a musical then... Yeah. There's a serious issue there.

There is always a reason for whatever is going on. If they just can't stand your taste in Broadway musicals, it shouldn't be affecting your relationships that much. If you talk about it endlessly, and they are tired of it, then... Maybe just try to avoid the subject when all of your non-Hamilton acquaintances are around.

The big thing is conversation, and not being selfish. You can't know why they dislike you suddenly if you aren't able to talk to them. So talk to them. Get everyone's take on the situation before you make a call about the fandom.

...Not to mention the fact that fandoms come and go, stream and lull, and you may end up growing out of your Hamilton phase. I wouldn't recommend hastening that process, because every piece of material for a fandom is to be respected in its own warrant. You can't make yourself hate Hamilton, because things really don't work out that way.

The main thing is: try to oblige everyone, while not neglecting yourself. You like Hamilton. They suddenly don't like you. There's always a legit reason for behavior like that. There will always be people who don't like a certain fandom, and we can't expect them so suddenly love it as much as we do. Nonetheless, that shouldn't affect the relationship itself, because at that point there are some major questions that need to be answered.

A final piece of advice- don't back yourself into a corner thinking that you have to lose your friends to keep Hamilton, or keep your friends by ditching Hamilton. Based on what you told me, that seems like a very black-and-white outlook on what seems to be a much larger situation. Conversation and openness broadens your perspective and your options.

So, talk to the people who are 'done with you', and get their take on what's really up. Above all, be OPEN to hearing what they have to say.

I hope this helps!

-The Fangirl Consultant