A/N: Thank you SO much to everyone for the kudos and comments! I'm absolutely LOVING writing this so I hope you are enjoying reading it just as much! I promise there's more coming!
Of Stars and Stone
Chapter 4
Turning the Lock
The chamber had become a prison. They continued to tell me that I was no prisoner, but I was expected to remain in my room until I healed. I would have sworn the healer was part of my guard rather than sent to check on my progress. It was shocking there wasn't a worn path where I paced for what felt like the last week if not two. I had gotten no more answers as Legolas had seen me only once more since that first day. Thranduil had been absent completely. I may as well have been alone in the world but for the occasional visits of the elven healer changing the sheets, checking my status, and otherwise annoying me with her random hovering. I was either left to complete solitude, or poked and prodded, and spent my nights restless and haunted by senseless dreams.
Each day since I had been able to leave my bed after the first week, I watched the comings and goings of those who once were my friends out of the corner window. It seemed that life within the woodland realm continued as though no battle had been waged near its borders. When I felt more under my own power and strength, I tried to walk the halls of the kingdom. But on the occasions I had attempted to venture outside of my lodgings, I was almost as quickly escorted back. Guards were placed outside my door after only two such attempts. There were obviously conditions to my being and remaining in Mirkwood, whether I knew them or not.
I spent as much of my time watching the world outside as I did trying to remember that which was missing from my memory. Some things were so clear, but it was if the pages in my book had become smudged and then blank as hell broke upon the slopes of the mountain. As I sat at the edge of my bed and focused on my memories, I let what I could flood my senses. I watched many elves fall and the men and women of Laketown take up arms to defend Dale as best they could as Legolas and I returned from Gundabad. I knew orcs and other foul creatures were descending from all sides, with more still to come, and yet I could hear the sound of the horn beckoning the elves to retreat. I fought my way towards the city and blocked the passage in front of the Elvenking. As words formed, they became muted to my ears and everything began to dissolve away around me, leaving me once again lost to confusing darkness.
I opened my eyes to find tears on my cheeks. I groaned and returned to my watch at the window to see Legolas heading out towards the gates. He paused and glanced behind him, up towards me. I raised my hand as if to wave, to hope he might visit me in my solitude, but he turned and was gone. I barely had a moment to wonder when I heard footfalls approach and a light knock to my door. I turned with a scowl for the healer, surprised to find Thranduil inside the threshold.
I nodded curtly. "My Lord."
He moved further into the room, the door closing quietly behind him.
"I hear that you are restless and would leave these halls."
Though a great many moments were missing, I did recall too clearly being informed of my banishment before riding to Gundabad. Not knowing the fallout beyond this was just leading to more questions.
"I should not be sequestered to wither alone without knowing the reason."
As if knowing my thoughts, he glanced coldly at me. "Would you prefer the comfort of our dungeons?"
I turned away and looked out the window once more. "Is this to be my punishment?"
"Your orders were clear and yet you defied them. You defied me. Why should I trust you to roam our halls free as though still captain of our guard?"
My heart tightened uncomfortably at his words. I did not expect forgiveness and had no comprehension of what my future may hold. Yet, there was still hurt at the definitive knowledge that I no longer had a place here among the people that had been the only home I'd known.
"What do you remember?" he asked quietly. He moved towards a side table near the bed, turning a stone over and over in his palm as he gazed at me, expressionless.
His movement was momentarily distracting and I wondered what it was he held. The restlessness he spoke of took me over again as I began to pace. "So little. It isn't so much as bits and pieces, but it is as if my days simply stopped one moment and began again. After the dragon was slain, Legolas and I rode to Gundabad." I chose carefully to exclude my memory of the king calling back his son and banishing me, though the recollection was crystal clear.
"And?"
"We witnessed the armies of orc and bats pour from Ângmâr and we rushed back hoping we weren't too late. I… My Lord, I heard your horn. I saw you aiming to retreat. Please tell me we did not leave the others to fend for themselves and run to hide within our walls!" I pleaded with him, unsure of the outcome. All that they had told me was that many were lost but the mountain had been reclaimed. "Why can I not remember? Will you not tell me?"
He turned and poured water from the pitcher on the bedside table into a glass for himself, and drank deeply. "Do you remember when once I told you that with your skill and cunning, you could go far?"
"Yes."
"And so I still believe. But you have been headstrong all your life, questioning me at every turn. Where someone less patient might not have tolerated your willfulness, I have tried to guide you. For 600 years, there have been no others short of my son that I have given as much attention."
"And now?"
"Now…" He turned the stone over in his hand, eyeing it almost disdainfully one last time before setting it down and returning his gaze to me. "Now we live in a different world. Though the threat is not as great as before, the shadows linger and vigilance cannot give way to laziness. The dwarves have reclaimed their homeland and men once more walk the streets of Dale, rebuilding broken alliances. We will wait and see how their endeavors unfold. But I cannot have a captain who does not obey her king. You have left me little choice."
I stood quiet, staring with tears in my eyes. "If I am banished, let me go! Will you keep me in the dark forever? Lock me in this room until the world turns to dust?"
He took two large steps towards me and the fierceness of all his power, the ages of life within him, nearly knocked me over. I fought to keep myself still, but felt myself vibrate under his glare, his wrath. Tears welled defiantly in my eyes uncontrollably as his voice echoed through the small chamber, his face so close to mine.
"What do you think you know of darkness? Of forever? You are a child. You have not seen the shadows of this world and the horror that lurks, waiting. What have you suffered that is so great it deserves limitless patience and forgiveness? Fortunes of the world rise and fall. Man and dwarf will die in a mere blink in our lives."
I shook with such rage and fear that I could not contain the words that seemed to flow from me without thought. "Are our lives worth more than theirs? Is your life worth more when there is no love in it? When there is no love in you!?"
For a moment, I might have thought I wounded him as he seemed to stumble backwards at my words. I did not know the echoing of my own words from the weeks before and how they haunted him, but for a mere moment I thought I saw how deeply my words had hurt him. His eyes grew wide and he straightened, standing tall and distant once more. I was grateful the tears in my eyes did not fall. With a look I had never seen on his face in all my years, he turned and left silently. When the door closed behind him, I heard locks turn and let out a short cry of frustration before kicking the leg of the table. The stone Thranduil had been turning in his hand tumbled off and fell at the toe of my boot.
I bent to retrieve it and stopped with my fingertips an inch away. I kneeled, sitting on my heels as I stared at the familiar but unreadable runes carved into the smooth rock. A sharp and painful ache echoed in my heart as my fingers yearned to touch the smooth surface. I reached for it again and went to trace the lines that held so many promises. As I grasped the stone in my hand, a heat radiated from it and a jumbled stream of images flashed in my mind. I cried out on a broken sob and covered my mouth as I gripped the stone. I could not make sense of anything but one. Only one image anchored me but could I dare to hope? Was this memory? A dream of the future? His face was all I saw. Warm and piercing eyes, coal black waving curls, and shadowy scruff along the chin. I could all but feel him there with me, his warm lips touching mine, his warmth around me. I closed my eyes as if to hold the image of his face in my mind and sighed.
"Kíli… What happened… Where are you…"
A/N: Eeeek! Will Tauriel remember anything about the battle and Ravenhill? Is Thranduil cruel enough to really keep her locked away? I can't wait for you to find out! :D Stay tuned for the next update
