I am sorry I didn't update Wednesday, but it was Christmas. I do promise that I will update every Wednesday and Saturday.

I get into Officer Lewis's car carefully. What if he just drives away and keeps me in his house, and uses me? I shake those thoughts out of my head. Wes has been nothing but nice to me. He tried to help me when I had my panic attack. He even gave me food which is something that my three asshole "fathers" basically never did. Maybe he is not that bad. Maybe I can trust him.

"You can choose a radio station." Wes smiles at me. I leave it off. I have never really heard music before. All of my foster fathers hated music because it was really loud. I never really played it that loud; it was just because they were hung over, which they were most days.

We drive for one hour, silence pervading the car. Wes attempts to start a conversation, but I don't say anything. I don't like to talk, for my foster families have taught me never to talk back. Their punishments burn in my mind and I try to think of something happier. I have been having trouble thinking of happy thoughts lately though. "You don't deserve happiness". I wince as I hear my first foster father's voice. Jack was different from my other fathers. He didn't rape me like David. He didn't use me as a servant like Liam. He experimented on me. Jack pushed me to my limits; see how long it would take me to break. He was the worst of all my fathers.

"Wanda, we are here." I want to scream. I don't want to go. I don't want another family that is going to torture me. I look around carefully, memorizing where the doors and windows are. I always make an escape route at my new foster houses. Of course none of my plans have ever worked, but it is worth a shot. I sigh passively and get out of the car.

Wes leads me up to the door. The house was bigger than all of my old foster houses together. He knocks loudly and I wince. The door is thrown open and a woman stood smiling at me. She was average height with tan skin and short curly black hair. She had warm brown eyes and a large white smile.

"Hello! I am Trudy, your new foster mom!" Wow she was peppy. She must be pretending to be excited while Wes is here. "Do you have any bags with you?" Trudy spoke quieter but her voice was still sweet and caring.

I shake my head and look down. Say something! Respond! I yell at myself. "No I don't have anything." My voice is hoarse from my lack of talking. I see Wes's eyes widen out of the corner of my eye. He must be surprised that I can talk. I only talk when I am spoken to and absolutely have to respond.

Trudy smiles at me sadly. Why? It's my fault I don't own anything. I didn't work hard enough to get money. Also, I move from foster family to foster family a lot so it is hard to keep things. "Oh, well come in." Trudy pulls the door open wider. I gasp slightly.

The house is huge! There is a big living room to my right. In front of me in the back of the house is the largest kitchen I have ever seen. A grand staircase, dining room, and game room are on my left. I can see a large pool in the backyard through one of the kitchen windows. I can't imagine what the upstairs looks like!

I wonder if they will want to be to clean the entire house, because it looks like it would take me forever to finish.

I follow Trudy shyly into the kitchen. "This is my husband, Jeb." My heart beat quickened. Jeb didn't move. He just smiled kindly at me. What is with these people and kindness?!

"Hello Wanda. I am Jeb, you new foster father." I wince slightly at the words and Jeb notices. "Wanda, I know you don't believe us right now, but we don't want to hurt you. There will be no forms of physical punishment in this house. This family won't be like your other families. We care about you and we want you to be happy."

He's right. I don't believe him. Happiness is something I have never experienced. I don't think I ever will. Despite my feelings, I smiles at him politely and continue to look around the kitchen. My breath catches when I spot the knives next to the sink. I try to control my breathing. Don't worry Wanda! All houses need cutlery. It's not like they can use a spoon to cut up their food.

My breathing goes back to normal and I smiley proudly at myself. Usually I can't control my panic attacks, but I have been practicing. I don't want the Stryders to know just how messed up I am yet.

"My children should be home from school in a few minutes." Trudy says happily. Oh hell no! There are three things seriously wrong with that! One is the fact that I am soon going to be in a house with six people, only one of them I have known for more than a day and I bet Wes will leave soon. Two is school! I have never gone to school. My foster fathers wanted me home to clean so they told the social services I would be homeschooled. Of course they never taught me anything though. I had to teach myself how to read, write, and do basic math so I could cook, pay the bills, and do the shopping. Three is the people! I am only 5 feet tall (152 centimeters) and 60 pounds (27 kilograms). I am very short for a fifteen year old and I am severely underweight thanks to my fathers. I will get pushed around and people will touch me. I won't be able to last ten minutes!

I snap back into reality at the sound of the front door opening. "Mom, Dad we're home!" I hear a deep voice yell. Oh God he is loud. Then I hear three pairs of feet walk toward the kitchen. Oh God. Oh God. Oh God. I can't do this.

The three of them stop in the doorway. The girl steps forward. "Hi! You must be Wanda. I am Melanie, your new foster sister!" Melanie smiles and takes a few more steps towards me, opening her arms like she wants a hug. I stumble back, terrified. I feel myself starting to tremble and I try to control my panic attack again. Memories of blinding pain flood through my head and I squeeze my eyes shut.

"I am not there. They are gone. I will live." I mumble under my breath. I start to slow my breathing but my heart still pounds. I look around the room to see if anyone else can hear my heart. I meet the worried eyes of my new family. Wait. Did I just say worried? I look again. It can't be worry they are feeling. It must be anger at me for refusing a hug from Melanie.

"I am so sorry. I will hug you if you want me too. I didn't mean to reject you. Just please don't hurt me." I whimper. Everyone stares at me. What did I do this time? I groan internally.

"Sweetheart, it is fine! You don't have to hug Melanie if you don't want to! We will never hurt you!" Trudy fawns over me.

"We won't touch you if you want. Do you want us to stay at least five feet away?" Jeb says in a doctoral and fatherly tone. I don't know what they want me to say. Is this meant to test my loyalty or something? I look around frantically. I quickly make up my mind when I see their expectant faces.

I shake my head. "No it is fine." I force a smile. Someone clears their throat and I look up.

"Um, hi. I am Ian and this is Kyle. We are you new foster brothers." Ian says carefully. I look at them. Ian and Kyle must be biological brothers because they look so much alike. Ian is tall and slender. I could see his muscles hidden under his long sleeve shirt and I wince slightly. He has messy black hair and the most beautiful blue eyes I have ever seen. Snow, sapphire, and ink. His smile lights up his face and I decide I want to see it again. I slide my eyes over to look at Kyle and start to tremble slightly. Kyle is a little shorter and stockier than Ian. Unlike his brother, Kyle purposely shows off his alarming amount of muscle. He has the same hair as Ian and his eyes are the same color. They don't show as much compassion and caring as Ian, but he still looks nice enough.

I stop trembling as soon as I realized I was. I don't want them to think I am weak. "So, Wanda, what do you want for dinner?" My eyes widen.

"I can make a lot of things! Just tell me what you want." I say quietly. I have been taught not to talk to loud in case my foster father was drunk.

"Oh no. I want you to choose what is for dinner. I will make it for you." I stare at her confused. I feel myself start to blush as I look around the room and see everyone staring at me. My eyes dart around the room again. Where is Wes?! Did Officer Lewis just leave while I was distracted? How could he leave me with these people!

I start to hyperventilate. I don't know what these people want. I hate when I don't know what people want. "Oh." I say in short gasps. "Don't worry I am not hungry." I gulp. I can't eat around other people. Then it is one more thing they can take away. Trudy's eyes widen and she looks over my shoulder at someone. I spin around in a flash and I almost scream. Jeb is standing right behind me, trying to calm me down. I see his lips moving but I can't hear him. My hands shake and my head pounds.

I am slipping away. I can't stop this panic attack. I am already gone. I stumble around, black spotting my vision. I move blindly move around. I have to get out of this house. I can't breathe. There is no air. My chest tightens. My jaw clenches and there is a knot in my stomach. When I bump into someone and feel their arms tighten around my body. I scream and fall to the ground, wincing in pain as the memories burn my mind.

"Hello Wanda!" My new foster father David smiles. I sigh in relief. I was so afraid he was going to be like Jack and hurt me. David seems sweet. I don't trust him completely yet, but I am sure we can get along okay.

"Hi." I smile slightly. I am afraid of most men thanks to Jack. He liked to remind me that men are the dominate species and they will hurt me if I disobey them. I am broken, but I can be healed.

David opens the door wider and smiles at my social worker. My social worker takes that as a good sign and starts to leave. David closes the door and spins around in a flash. "You are mine. You will do whatever I want, whenever I want, however I want." I finch back. No, no, no, no. He is like Jack. Maybe not as bad, but I don't think I will be able to survive anymore abuse.

"Go upstairs, take off your clothes, and wait for me. I will come up later. Tears well up in my eyes. I am twelve so I know what he is going to do. I had been with Jack from age three until yesterday, and he has never touched me like that. He would often say I was too ugly to be loved and no one would want to see my fat body.

I stand and stare at David. I don't know what to do. David slaps me. "Move bitch! Do as you are told." I run upstairs and slowly take off my clothes. I leave my underwear on and sit on the bed. Tears fall down my face and my body shakes with sobs. The door to the bedroom bangs open and I jump.

"Why do you still have clothes on? I told you to listen to me and do as I say!" David punches me and scratches me as he takes of my last piece of protection. He stares at my body in dismay. He touches one of my scares and I flinch. "Did I tell you to move? I own you now!" David screams in my face. Tears run down my face even harder now and I can't breathe without choking slightly.

David smiles wickedly and I scream a horrified scream I wither and shake, trying to get away. He just holds me down and ignores my screams. David took away my virginity at age twelve, and continued to use me every day. I only got away because David suddenly disappeared my fifteenth birthday and didn't come back. The social worker came back and sent me to live with Liam.

I know I said I would try to keep the flashbacks vague, but this one I had to go a bit more in depth. Below I am going to explain again about the foster fathers and how old Wanda is and stuff because I don't want you to be confused :) Please follow, favorite, and review!

Ages 1-3 Wanda lived with her family

Her family dies so ages 3-12 she lives with Jack

Jack gets rid of her so ages 12-14 she lives with David

David disappeared so ages 14-15 she lives with Liam

Liam is arrested so she lives with the Stryders. But for how long? ;)