CHAPTER FOUR
Trip was still on the Bridge when T'Pol exited, and she looked green with rage. He glanced after her. She looked like she was going crazy.
And as she entered the turbolift, she glared at him and looked like she wished he would die.
The doors slid shut; Trip turned back to his station as Archer came out of his ready room. "Travis, take us back in. Warp three."
"Aye, sir." The helmsman turned the cruising ship around and flew back towards the nebula.
"And remember, this doesn't work if we get within 8000 kilometers of the anomaly," Trip reminded the helmsman.
"I'll drop out of warp well by then, believe me, Commander."
Trip slightly smiled, and Archer could tell something was wrong. He glanced around the Bridge and noticed that the science officer was no where to be found.
Archer walked behind Reed to the engineering station. "Trip?" he quietly asked.
The chief engineer swiveled in his seat. "Yeah?"
"Something wrong?"
Trip made an excuse for the Bridge crew to hear. "I think something is going on in Engineering." He shrugged. "Mind if I go down there?"
Archer nodded, leaned in closer to his ear, and said, "Go get her."
Trip made a quick dash for the turbolift and left the Bridge behind.
He searched every possible hiding place he could think of; first was her quarters and she wasn't there. The mess hall; there wasn't even the smell of chamomile tea in the air. He even checked in the captain's mess; but still didn't find her. Finally, his physical strength caught up with the mental determination and he gave in just outside of the lower entrance of Cargo Bay One.
He propped his hands on his thighs, taut from nearly running around the ship to find T'Pol. He began to wonder if an extra session in the ship's gym was in order but his thoughts were disrupted by noise inside the cargo bay.
Assuming a mindset similar to Malcolm's and Phlox, he cautiously entered. A mantra combined with a saying characteristic of both officers chanted through Trip's mind: Hope for the best, prepare for the worst.
He left the door open behind him, just in case a quick escape was necessary, and began to examine the contents from the balcony. He made it as far as the railing before he heard a voice that made him wish he had closed the door.
"Is there something wrong, Commander?" the always quirky doctor Phlox asked him, staying in the corridor.
Trip turned around. "Hey, Doc." He turned back around to the railing and put his hands on it for support.
Phlox walked in towards him. "I realize that I'm only a doctor, but you seem a little despondent."
Trip continued his visual scans in silence.
Phlox shrugged. "Do you want to talk about it?"
Normally, the engineer would have gone and talked with T'Pol first, but seeing as how she was hiding from him and Phlox understood the situation partially, he looked back at the Denobulan and nodded.
"It's T'Pol."
Phlox stopped walking next to Trip. "Has she been having problems lately?"
"Yeah, mainly me." The engineer sighed and he had run out of places to look and ways to vent. "She's lost her mother, her husband left her unexpectedly, and she's been wrapped up in the Kir'Shara so much that I can't get her to say anything. I barely get a word in edgewise when I'm around her."
Trip took one final glance at the containers then looked at Phlox. "I know how it feels to lose someone close to me. Took me almost a year to get over Lizzie and move on. If T'Pol hadn't been here for me, I would've gone insane."
He gently bit his lip. "And then when Koss divorced her, I don't know. I guess I hoped there was something between us, but she got so wrapped up in reading the Kir'Shara instead. Said she had to do it on her own, she kept pushing me away . . ."
Quietly, Phlox interjected, "Commander, T'Pol is a unique individual. And you helped her to become like that. But right now, she is learning what it really means to be herself, to be a Vulcan. And that's a point that she will always be farther from than closer to."
Trip looked at him, slightly skeptical about Phlox's words. He sighed. "Ah, you're right. And I admit, I probably did push her a bit too much about talking. But she's been pushing me away so much that I don't even know if the effort is worth it." He moaned. "I love her, Doc."
Phlox nodded. "I think most people on this ship know that, Mr. Tucker."
"Yeah. But she hasn't even said anything about us. About whether there will be an 'us' after she gets done with this."
The doctor chuckled. "Well, keep in mind that it took a little prodding to get you to do neuro-pressure, eh? Give T'Pol time. Eventually, I think she'll open up to you about everything."
"What don't I already know?" Trip asked with a glint of humor in his eye.
Phlox smiled for a brief moment, turned and left.
Trip balanced himself on the rail again. "Better get back to work," he said quietly, turning and following Phlox's motion.
Behind a box that toppled earlier as Trip came in, T'Pol wrapped her arms around herself, nearly shocking herself. She had heard Trip's words. She had heard him say "I love you" and the emotions it lit in her scared her.
She lowered her head onto her arms. Perhaps she really was a fool.
She didn't need time. She needed Trip.
