A/N Just wanted to take the opportunity to thank all of you who took the time to leave feedback. It really is appreciated.
"I really like this buffer day idea of yours." Andy was in the tiny laundry room just off the dining room adding another load of clothes into the dryer.
"I told you it was good to have a free day when you get back from a vacation."
"I'm not sure how 'free' the day is." Rusty cast a skeptical look at the piles of laundered clothing that Sharon was continuing to fold on the dining room table.
Ricky nodded while munching on a huge bear claw. "I think Mom's buffer days are all about her not being able to stand having a ton of dirty laundry laying around. "
Sharon smirked and swatted at him with a pair of Andy's underwear. "It's hardly a ton; we did a load before we left Connecticut. It's just nice to have a day to relax and unwind when you get back from a long vacation. We were able to sleep in, kick off some of this jet lag and to enjoy a nice leisurely breakfast, thanks to Andy."
"Yeah, thanks Andy," both boys called out to him.
"No problem guys." Last night before he went off to bed, Andy slipped the boys a fifty and asked them to head over to "Bread and Chocolate" one of their favorite bakeries to pick up some goodies for breakfast. He requested lemon blueberry muffins and Sharon's favorite maple pecan sticky buns, but other than that they were free to go ahead and get whatever else they wanted, dangerous carte blanche for two young men with seemingly bottomless pits. The bakery was only a couple blocks away so early that morning they'd walked over, returning with Andy's order as well as a box filled with bear claws, apple fritters and cream cheese covered cinnamon buns.
It was close to 10:30 before Sharon and Andy ventured out of their bedroom. By then the sun had burned off the early morning December chill so they ate their decadent breakfast out on the balcony with plenty of hot coffee.
"Hey, Shar. I have a bunch of your unmentionables here, but I can't find that purple bottle of lingerie soap you like to soak them in."
"I had to buy a new one. Hold on, it's in the pantry." She reached into the closet to pull out the bottle of Nordstrom's lavender scented lingerie wash that she used to clean her underwear. "And make sure you don't put them in the dryer."
"I know…I know," he held up his hands in surrender.
"Wait, what? " Rusty turned to Sharon. He'd seen pantyhose hanging on the wooden drying rack, but underwear? "Why can't you just wash your underwear with everything else? And what's wrong with the dryer? We wash and dry our underwear with everything else." Rusty had been doing his own laundry since he moved in and told Sharon he could take care of his own clothes, but she had never let him near hers. Most of it was dry clean only anyway.
"Because our underwear is not delicate," Andy grinned, twirling a burgundy satin and lace bra on his finger. "And you can't dry bras in the dryer because it gets the underwire all messed up."
Much to Sharon's amusement, the boys stared at him with gaping mouths.
"Uh… something you want to tell us before you marry our mother, Andy?" Ricky asked.
Sharon snorted a laugh while Andy scowled. "I am NOT a cross-dresser. I know because when I first moved in, I wanted to be helpful and did the laundry. Your mother damn near passed out when she saw that I'd washed all her skivvies with mine. So, I got a lesson on how to wash lingerie."
"And you learned your lesson well, darling." Sharon handed him the bottle of detergent and kissed his cheek. When she turned to depart, she scanned the room taking in the empty laundry hamper.
"Did you pull the sheets from the bed? " She asked. "Those uh…need to be washed." The light flush that stained her cheeks deepened when Rusty muttered "Gross" under his breath. She started to protest that everyone needed to wash their sheets but stopped herself. Rusty knew the drill. Sheets were washed once a week like clockwork in Sharon's world. It was only after Andy had started spending nights at the condo and later moved in that changing the sheets sometimes became more than a once a week chore…and he knew why.
"Already in the wash ma'am. I-" He broke off at the sound of his cell phone going off. Pulling it out of the pocket in his jeans, he looked up with a bit of surprise. "Hey, it's my ex-wife."
Ricky and Rusty jumped to attention.
"Oh, does she call you often? " Rusty was the face of innocence.
"No, uh, no." And that's what had him worried. Unless it had something to do with Nicole, he and Sandra didn't speak. The last time he'd even heard from her was a "Get Well" card sent to the hospital after his surgery, which quite frankly had shocked the hell out of him. There was a time he would have sworn she wanted him six feet under. "Hold on a second. Uh, hey Sandra, what's up?"
Sharon's eyes narrowed. She had not missed the less than subtle interaction between her sons. They were both terrible at trying to hide the triumphant smiles on their faces, particularly Ricky.
"Uh…Yes, she did….Yes, very happy. Excited…Thank you, I appreciate that...What?…No, of course I don't mind…That's great…Yeah, go ahead and send them…Okay then. I'll talk to you soon. And Sandra, thank you again. Bye." He hung up, staring silently at his phone.
"Andy?"
"That was Sandra."
Sharon smiled. "I got that. Is everything okay?"
"More than okay. You're not going to believe this. Sandra just filed paperwork with the church."
Sharon's eyes snapped to her sons. She knew they'd been up to something.
"Yeah. Nicole told her that I asked you to marry me and that we really wanted to have the ceremony in the church. She offered me an annulment."
"What? Really?" Her eyes moved from Andy back to the boys, now with a stern glare.
"Oh, wow, Andy, wow that's crazy. An annulment. Are you okay with that?" Ricky ignored his mother's suspicious gaze.
"Yeah, more than okay. I never thought she'd have a problem with it, but I also didn't expect her to do the legwork. You see Sharon. A church wedding may not be totally out of the question. Imagine that."
"Yes indeed. Imagine that. He moves in strange and mysterious ways His wonders to perform."
If Andy hadn't still been so stunned, he might have noticed the sarcasm belying the broad smile on her face, as well as the odd undercurrent between her and her boys. As it was, it went totally over his head.
A little later, when they were in the bedroom putting their clothes away, Sharon brushed a hand down Andy's back, gently rubbing at the base of his spine. "Are you sure you're okay with all this?" She asked. He'd been uncharacteristically quiet and that was worrying her. "I don't want you to feel pressured."
"I don't feel pressured. Oh my God, Sharon, this is a good thing. I guess sometimes it still shocks me when things go my way. Sandra and I were toxic for so long I never expected that call or for her to actually get things started."
"As long as you're okay with it."
"More than okay. Hell, I've been divorced for a couple decades now. I don't feel anything for Sandra anymore, not even anger." Which was surprising because anger had defined his relationship with his ex for so long. At the time of their divorce, their relationship had disintegrated into something ugly, bitter and spiteful. He liked to think that maybe they'd finally moved past that. Since Nicole's wedding, they'd actually been able to be civil with each other and she'd even expressed happiness for him in that phone call. "Maybe this will give us a chance for some real closure."
"We can certainly hope."
"Hey Mom, Andy." Ricky poked his head into the bedroom. "I have to catch my flight. Rusty's going to run me over to LAX." He made his way over to Andy first, pulling him into a big hug. "Thanks again for a great trip, Andy. It was a lot of fun."
"Yeah, you're welcome," Andy beamed. "I'll let you know about that fishing trip. Red Snapper season opens in March, but I was thinking about maybe trying for tuna in June."
"Either is fine with me, but I'd love to get a big tuna."
"Tuna it is then." Andy patted him on the shoulder and passed him off to his mother.
"Bye Mom." He gave her an even bigger hug than Andy's, lifting her feet off the floor making her giggle.
"Good-bye honey." As usual, it was nearly impossible for her to stay irritated with him. Especially when he was leaving. "I'm going to miss you."
"I'll miss you too. But I'll be back in June and you and Andy promised you'd come up for a Giants/Dodgers game, don't forget."
"As soon as we get the schedule we'll plan it."
"Good. And I'll let you know as soon as I get the annulment questionnaire back from Dad."
"You won't be getting it."
"What?" Everyone froze, eyes riveted on Sharon.
"I sent a text to your father this morning. I asked him to send the questionnaire to me. This is my annulment, Ricky, and I will take care of it. I appreciate the steps that you kids have taken but moving forward Andy and I have got this."
"Oh, well. Okay then. Keep me posted."
"I will let you know about any significant decisions. You have a safe trip. I love you."
"I love you too." He kissed her cheek then followed Rusty out of the condo.
Much later as dusk turned to dark Andy found Sharon out on the balcony, staring out into the night.
"Did you have a nice talk with Emily?"
"I had an illuminating talk with Emily."
"That sounds kind of cryptic."
Sharon turned into the light and his heart gave a little jump to see her eyes swimming with tears. He quickly moved to her. "What's wrong? Why are you crying?"
Responding to his alarm, she quickly brushed at her eyes. What was it about a woman's tears that gave men such a scare? "I'm not crying. I'm just…Okay, I'm crying. Andy, I've made so many mistakes."
"What are you talking about?"
"I'm talking about what a selfish ass my ex-husband is."
"Okay, I'm all about discussing that." He smiled in an effort to lighten the mood. "But you're freezing."
"I'm fine."
"Babe, I can feel you shivering. Let's go inside and discuss this."
She nodded and they moved back into the living room. Andy grabbed the TV remote, shut off "Sports Center" and sat on the couch, lifting his arm. Sharon plunked down beside him, tucking her long legs up under her and accepting his invitation to cuddle into his side, resting her head on his shoulder.
"I knew there was more to this story than what Ricky told me. There is no way Jack rolled over that easy. And I was right. Ricky can brush things off but Emily is an open book. I can tell when she's covering something up."
"And you got her to crack?"
"Yes."
"Guess that's what happens when your mother is a crackerjack interrogator. So, what did she have to say?"
"I don't think she told me everything, but I got a pretty good picture of how things went down. They tried to get Jack to sign the papers without resorting to the ultimatum, but he refused. Nothing they said could make him change his mind until they threatened him. They told him they would never see or talk to him again unless he agreed to the annulment."
"That's pretty close to what Ricky said. He just left out the first part."
"And that they also threatened him with you."
"Me? What kind of a threat am I?"
"Evidently, bigger than you think. They said that if he didn't sign the papers you would be the only grandfather their future children would ever know. That's when it finally dawned on him that they were serious and he agreed to sign the papers. Are you smiling?"
"I can't help it. I like the idea of being a grandfather to your kid's kids."
"Yes, well you'll sure as hell be a better one than Jack. I cannot believe he put our children through that. Ricky was so matter of fact about it, which isn't surprising, that's Ricky. But, Emily sounded so…" her voice broke.
"So what? " He rubbed her arm comfortingly.
"So hurt…I did that." Her voice was barely a whisper.
"You did not do that. Jack did that."
"But I helped. I'm an enabler, Andy."
"You were an enabler."
"Semantics. All their life I tried to shield my children from who their father really was. When he didn't show up for things, I made excuses for him so they wouldn't be hurt. When we separated, I refused to allow him to come around the kids if he'd been drinking so they rarely saw that side of him again. I didn't divorce him, well, for a lot of reasons, but one of them was because I wanted complete control over their relationship with him. I wanted to be there to protect them. How sad it is it that I had to protect them from their own father?"
"You were doing what was best for your kids. That isn't wrong. There are a lot of women and men who stay in that situation. You didn't. And you didn't completely absolve Jack. When he refused to get help, you made him leave. You set up clear ground rules he had to follow if he was going to be around you and the kids"
"I did, but it took me a while to get to that point. I covered up for Jack plenty of times, at work, with his family, with creditors. Yes, I did finally stop but still... I feel like what I taught my kids was to hide things. Like Emily telling the boys that Jack was drinking again but not me, and Ricky trying to gloss over what happened at Jacks. Those are the kinds of things I used to do with my parents all the time when I didn't want them to know how bad things were. Sometimes I think I was protecting myself as much as I was protecting them."
"Because they didn't want you to marry Jack?"
"Yes. I tried to hide how bad it was because I was ashamed. And before you say it, I know it was Jack's shame, not mine. But I had plenty of things that I was ashamed of too. I was ashamed that I'd allowed Jack to seduce me into marrying him and putting him through law school with promises every intuition I had told me he wouldn't keep. I was ashamed that I continually let him off the hook and shouldered all the responsibility for our lives and our children. I was ashamed every time I covered up for him or believed him when he promised he would do better…I don't know… Maybe if I'd let the kids see the real Jack from the start, the one who was falling down drunk on the lap of a woman in a bar while I was giving birth to Ricky, the one who had no valid excuse for not showing up for their birthdays and Christmas or for their dance recitals and football games. The one who drank, gambled, and stole from us. The one who used me time and time again, making promises he never had any intention of keeping. The one who left me feeling like a complete failure as a woman and a wife. The one who has never ever given a damn about anyone else but himself whether he was drunk or stone cold sober. Maybe if I'd let them see all that from the start they would know just who he is and just what they can expect from him." Even as she said it, she knew she could never have done any of that.
Andy's chest tightened at the rawness of Sharon's pain, he could feel it right in his core. "I'm so sorry he hurt you like that."
Sharon's eyes stung at the rough emotion in his voice and the way his strong arm pulled her against him even more tightly.
"You didn't deserve that kind of pain. But you did the best with the hand you were dealt. You always try to see the best in people, Sharon. Sometimes that works and sometimes it doesn't. It worked with Rusty; you saw something in him that no one else saw. It didn't work with Jack. You couldn't know that he was never going to be able to get it together. You were preserving your children's relationship with their father. If you hadn't and Jack had cleaned up his act, turned things around, it might have taken him years to regain their love and trust."
Sharon studied Andy's profile, his tight lips, and sorrowful eyes. She certainly wasn't the only one with a painful past. Cupping his cheek in her palm, she rubbed her thumb over his rough jaw knowing that what he'd just described was exactly what happened to him. After their divorce, Sandra had done everything in her power to poison Nicole against him. Even when he'd gotten sober and fought tooth and nail to have a relationship with her, Sandra denied him, unwilling to offer him any trust or compassion. Still, he fought. He stayed in Valencia even though he hated the heat in the valley and the long commute to LA because that's where Sandra and Larry lived with Nicole. He attended her field hockey games, sitting alone and cheering for her even though Sandra made sure he felt unwelcome. He sent her birthday and Christmas gifts and kept in contact with her even when she ignored him. It had taken years but he'd finally broken through her barriers, barriers that in many ways were put there by her mother. They now had an enviable relationship, but how many years had they lost because of Sandra?
"It's tough Sharon. Being a parent isn't for the weak, is it?"
"No, it sure isn't."
"I blamed Sandra for what she did to Nicole and me for a long time. But, I can see now that she was doing what she thought was best for Nicole. She didn't trust me."
"She was wrong Andy." God, she would have given anything for Jack to have put even a tiny bit of the effort Andy had put into repairing his relationship with Nicole into fixing what was broken between him and their kids.
"I thought so too. I still think so. But the family therapist I went to was big on looking at things from the other person's perspective. What if I'd turned out to be Jack and couldn't keep my sobriety?"
"She still should have let you try. You and Nicole deserved that chance."
"And that's what you were doing for Jack and your kids. Hindsight. We can't live our lives looking back."
"No, we can't. I just hate that they felt like they had to go through that and took matters into their own hands. Sometimes my know it all son forgets that I'm the parent. He's like most men-thinks he knows what's best for me- and he's always trying to fix things. "
"I can't say blame him for that. It's how we're wired. God knows I'd love to be able to fix all this for you."
"Well, you can't. You're doing exactly what I need you to be doing."
"Yeah, what's that?"
"Listening to me. I'm not talking to you about this because I expect you to be able to fix it. I'm talking to you because I need someone to listen, to understand and maybe offer an insight or two."
"That's easy."
"See. Men always think it's so hard to please a woman. We're actually pretty easy."
"Some of you are. But let's not forget, your son was not in on this alone. Our lovely daughters had their hands all over this little plan. And, given all the skulking around he was doing on the balcony last night while you were talking to Ricky, I think your youngest was in on it as well."
"You think all four of them conspired against us?"
"Not against us, for us. I don't think Ricky and Emily went to see Jack because they didn't think you would do it, or because they didn't think you could handle it. I think they aren't quite as blind to who their father is as you think they are. They knew Jack wasn't going to agree to the annulment and that you have no leverage over him anymore."
"What do you mean leverage?"
"Think about it. How did you get him to finally talk to your kids after five years of silence? You blackmailed him."
"I prefer the term coercion."
"I call it like I see it, sweetheart. Blackmail, coercion, whatever you want to call it, it all comes down to you telling him you wouldn't throw his sorry ass out on the street before he found an apartment if he called and talked to them. Then, how did you get him to agree to the divorce when he didn't want it? You threatened to take him to court over all the back child support he owed you."
"You know, when you put it all together like that, I sound like a character on the Sopranos."
He laughed. "Nah, you're too classy for the Sopranos, but you can be tough. That's one of the many things that I love about you. But now that you're divorced, you don't have any of that leverage anymore. You've already told him he's not allowed to come here looking for handouts or a couch to sleep on. Legally and monetarily, you don't have any ties or responsibility for him. Even when it comes to your kids, they are all grown up and you're done being their buffer. The only option you had was to approach him emotionally and try to convince him to sign the papers because it was the right thing to do. Given how that worked out when the kids tried it, I doubt you would have had a chance. Like it or not, your kids have the leverage now. They are the ones laying down the ground rules and Jack is the one who's going to have to live by them or walk away. Sounds like he's choosing to live by them."
"Of course he is," Sharon snorted. "He's not going to cut off his nose to spite his face. "
"Huh?"
"Look, I know deep down, way inside that selfish, narcissistic heart of his, Jack does love the kids, or what passes for love in his world."
"And his ex-wife."
"What? " Her whole body tightened and she looked up at him with a surprised frown.
"You don't fight that hard to keep something you don't love. If he didn't still love you he'd have no problem signing those papers."
"He didn't sign them because that would be a 'win' for me. Jack doesn't like to lose, especially to me. And he didn't keep m. We're divorced. I'm living with you." She lifted her hand wiggling the finger adorned by his engagement ring. "I'm wearing this."
"But we aren't married yet. Keeping you from getting an annulment is a good way of keeping you from marrying me."
"Except it isn't. I'm marrying you, Andy, with or without an annulment."
"Yes, but maybe he didn't believe that. Maybe that's why he fought so hard."
"That's ridiculous. Jack is just pissed that I went through with the divorce and that I have another man in my life. He's always been like that. Just the rumor of me possibly seeing somebody else always had him scrambling home. He might not have cared about making the changes that he needed to make to be in my life again but he didn't want any other man there either."
"Jack is a fucking idiot. Any man who would walk away from a woman like you has a screw loose somewhere. But I'm not going to complain. His loss is my gain."
"And mine," she kissed the back of his hand. "But the point I was trying to make is that, while I'm sure Jack cares about the kids, he went years and years without seeing them. I don't think that's why he agreed to sign the papers."
Andy had to mull that over for a minute. He couldn't imagine that being a part of his kid's lives wasn't reason enough for Jack to sign the papers. He would do just about anything to stay involved in Nicole's life. Finally, he asked, "Why do you think he did it then?"
"Jack is a spoiled, indulged child. He was the baby in the family, a late life baby. His parents always gave him everything he wanted. He never had to work for anything, never had to take any responsibility at all. When we were first married, I took care of everything. I found us an apartment, I called to get the phone lines and the cable set up and I paid all the bills and the rent. I was 22 years old, straight out of college. I'd lived in my parent's house all my life and then the dorm at school. I didn't know any more than Jack did about all that stuff, but I learned fast. I did it because I wanted Jack to be able to focus on law school. Once he passed the bar and we moved into our new house I divvied up the responsibilities, thinking we'd be on equal ground. Within 6 months, our electricity was shut off. He'd forgotten to pay the bills and threw away all the warnings. I guess he just thought if he ignored them they'd go away and instead he decided to gamble with the money he was supposed to use to pay the bill."
"Jesus Christ," Andy sighed. He might have royally screwed up his personal life, but he'd always paid his bills and his mortgage and he'd always prided himself on having his child support payment out on time, most times early. It was the one way he had of being there for Nicole.
"Thank God I didn't give him the mortgage or we might have lost our house." All these years later, she could still feel the anxiety of those years in the pit of her stomach. "Jack signed the papers because one day he's going to show up on their doorstep and expect them to take care of him, just as I did every time he came home with his tail between his legs. He knows damn well he's going to need them and THAT'S why he signed the papers and that makes me just about as mad as anything else. I don't want them stuck having to take care of him. They should not have to deal with that."
"If it happens that will be their choice, Sharon. Remember, Switzerland."
"Yes, yes," she waved him off.
"Maybe they'll just do what you did. Help him get back on his feet and send him on his merry way."
"One day, he won't be well enough to send on his merry way."
"So, we'll cross that bridge when we get to it. "
She twisted in his arms so she could see his face. "It really didn't bother you at all that Nicole took matters into her own hands and went to Sandra about the annulment?"
"Not at all. The fact that my daughter is so happy about me marrying you and that she cared enough about wanting me to be happy to go to her mother and get the ball rolling is kind of a miracle for me."
"It's not a miracle, Andy. It happened because you put in a lot of hard work. You made the effort and now you're seeing the rewards."
"There was a time I wasn't sure I'd ever get here, with Nicole and with you. I guess sometimes it pays to be a Flynn. Nothing like a stubborn Irishman."
"A handsome, sexy, stubborn Irishman." She leaned up to press a kiss to the ticklish spot just behind his earlobe, giggling when he shivered. But, instead of laughing as she thought he would, he regarded her with a serious look.
"Can I ask you a question?"
"Of course."
"I want you to be 100% honest with me here. I can take it."
"I'm always honest with you, Andy. What is it?" Now she grew serious too.
"You being upset about the kids going to Jack for the annulment. Does it have anything to do with maybe wanting to have taken some time before going to see Jack? Maybe slow things down a little so you could think about it a little more."
"No. Oh my God, Andy. No. Slowing things down is the furthest thing from my mind. When have you known me to be shy about putting the brakes on when I haven't been ready for something? If I had any qualms at all about marrying you, I wouldn't have said yes. I would have told you that I needed time to think it over. But I don't. I'm right here with you Andy, all the way. There's nothing I want more than to be your wife."
"Good, because I can't wait to be your husband." He lifted her hand, eyeing the ring that looked so perfect on her finger. "I hate that you're taking that off again."
"I know. I promised that I wouldn't. But I didn't know Fritz was going to stay in DC with Brenda until the New Year. We need to tell him first before we tell everyone else. It's only a few more days. Besides, it will be fun to have a party and surprise everyone."
His eyes crinkled at the corners. "Way back when I would never have taken Sharon Raydor for a party girl."
"Yeah, well I'm full of surprises." The crinkles deepened when he recognized she was using his own words against him.
"You know, speaking of Raydor. Have you thought about that?"
"What?"
"Your last name after we get married. Will you change it to Flynn or keep Raydor?"
"How do you feel about it?"
"Well, if I had my way, of course, I'd like you to take my last name, but I'm not a caveman. I want you to do what makes you comfortable."
"But…"
"But Sharon Flynn sure does have a nice ring to it."
He sounded so hopeful, it caused her heart to constrict. If it wasn't for her job she'd change it in a heartbeat. "Yes, it really does. I have thought about it, Andy. I do want to take your last name, but I've been known at the PAB as Raydor for a very long time now. It might be confusing to change it, especially with two Flynn's in the same department."
"Well, it's nothing that you have to decide today. You can think about it."
"I will. But whatever I decide, I'll always be Sharon Flynn here." She tapped on her chest. "You know that right?"
"I do." He kissed the top of her head and pulled her in close. "God, I don't know how old Fritzie does it. Living almost 3,000 miles away from his wife, only seeing her a couple times a month. I don't ever want to be that far from you."
"And you won't be. That's why I didn't take the NFL job, we would have been apart for far too long. But I really appreciated how supportive you were about it ."
"I just want you to be happy."
"I am Andy. You make me happier than I can ever remember being. We're going to get through all this and someday, God willing, we'll wonder why we even worried about it.
TBC
