A/N: Thanks Starscape91 and MikeRyder16 for the loyal reviews. You guys are awesome! Oh and I'll slowly build up to the secret about Karin ;]. Now off to the chapter.
Discaimer: Still don't own any characters or concepts from Bleach-verse
[WARNING: HEAVILY IMPLIED SPOILERS FOR CH. 528-537 (Everything but the rain Chapters)]. Ahh this arc is turning out to be AMAZING; I think it's some of Kubo's best work in a long time. So if you haven't read the final arc manga yet, I highly recommend it. Plus who knows how long it'll take ( or if ever) for the final arc to get turned into an anime.
Karin stared at the mass of chicken scratch on the page hoping to divine an answer from the written mess. There was less than three hours until her Language Arts class, and she has yet to decide on a topic for the prompt that was due today. So instead of eating or hanging with friends, Karin was spending her lunchtime doing something she should have finished already. Normally, she wasn't a procrastinator—in fact, she finished all the homework for her other classes the day it was assigned—but for some reason she had a hard time getting this one done. To be frank, she wasn't much of a writer; she would much rather solve formulas than try to come up with 'bullshit' to extend the length of an essay when everything she had to say could be said in a page or two.
She flipped through the pages of notes. There was no way in hell she was going to touch the Constitutional Memorial Day topic. Coming up with a four page paper on the controversial articles of a constitution sounded far too complicated for her liking as she hated history and politics just as much as writing. She had written several possible options for Green Day: from a persuasive essay on importance of artificial reefs in sustainability for local fisheries to writing an informative report on the red-crowned crane. However, her medically-inclined upbringing makes her want to discuss the pharmaceutical uses of plants. She doesn't know what specific plant to write about, so she'll have to do more research on the topic.
The girl let out a long suffering sigh. Maybe she was biting off more than she could chew and making this assignment more difficult than it had to be. She really didn't want to waste her whole Golden Week revising a complicated research essay. She was going to busy enough with the upcoming soccer practices she'll have and the other extracurricular activities she takes part in. Not to mention she was already feeling stressed from the current goings-on around her. It seemed like everyone at her house was acting weird. On Tuesday, Ichigo ran out of the house like a bat out of the hell, and yesterday, he didn't even bother coming home. Karin has no idea what could possibly be going on with him. Even old Goatchin was disappearing at all hours of the day saying he's on a house call or not saying anything at all.
Karin swiped a stray bang back into place and thought, 'The only sane one in the family is Yuzu'. Karin's scowl deepened as she thought of her twin. The raven-haired girl was having a hard time maneuvering around her sister's sudden outbursts. It seemed like the smallest comment Karin would say would set Yuzu off. Granted Karin would fling slighted insults and put her foot in her mouth enough times to warrant getting yelled at. She hated it when Yuzu was upset. But, it twisted her gut when it was something she said or did to upset her sister, and there seemed to be no apology that would take it back.
In the middle of Tuesday's dinner, Karin had made a flippant remark to Yuzu about her needing to start seeing her brother as a normal, teenage boy and not like the perfect anime characters she no doubt compares him to. Yuzu's response was to slam down her chopsticks, shout at Karin to "forget it", and ran to her bedroom until the slamming of the door shut Karin out. Karin figured it must have had something to do with Ichigo; Yuzu has been begging for attention and praise from her big brother, and with the way he has been since the incident, his heartfelt admiration was few and far between. Much to Karin's disappointment, Ichigo hasn't been home for her to make him console their sister.
As if she summoned the girl from her thoughts, Yuzu plopped down right next to her with two cans in her hand. She held out one of the cans to Karin. "Coffee?" A peace offering. Maybe the walking on egg shells moment has passed. For now.
Karin took it tentatively. "Thanks." She popped it open with a hiss. "What's up? How come you're not with Midoriko and the other girls?" Although the twins considered themselves best friends, they hung out in different circles; Karin thought being stuck with gossiping girls was just as much torture as Yuzu believed talking sports and video games with a group of guys was.
"I noticed you were sitting over here by yourself," she took a sip, "Is everything alright?"
"Mm yeah. I just have this homework to finish, and the guys were too loud for me to focus."
"That's not like you. What is it," she asked while snatching the notebook out of Karin's lap.
"I have to write a paper on a topic based on one of the holidays for Golden Week."
"When's it due?"
"Prompt's due today, rough draft's due two days before vacation, and the final draft is due the day we come back."
The honey-haired adolescent scoffed in disbelief, "No way! He's assigning you homework over Golden Week? Doesn't he know that's the one week the whole country is allowed to rest?!"
"Yeah, the whole class could agree with you," she mumbled.
Yuzu turned her puppy-dog eyes on Karin and pouted, "But we were supposed to go to the amusement park for our birthday weekend..."
"I know. I'm sorry."
Yuzu suddenly jolted as if a lightbulb turned on above her head. "I'll help you. We'll make sure to get it done before vacation."
Karin smiled. That was one of the extra bonuses of being a twin: your tutor was always there to help you when you were stuck. While Karin helped Yuzu with her math and sciences, Yuzu always helped Karin with her essays. If Yuzu wasn't so adamant about being in the medical profession when they grow up, Karin could see her sister being a writer of some kind.
"Let's see," Yuzu mumbled while glancing over Karin's notes, "too complicated. You should choose something that won't require a lot of research." Normally, Yuzu would be all about gathering supported evidence to back up a claim, but she really wanted her sister free for Golden Week, and she knew Karin was going to be busy enough as it was.
She stopped her scan when she came to the last page. There were just a series of questions and topics Karin posed: "Our childhood, Mom's childhood, what was Mom like?". Karin winced as knew bringing up their mother always seemed to fracture the normalcy they managed to stitch back together. She knew tears were soon to follow when Yuzu thought about her.
But they never came. Instead Yuzu said with finality, "You should write about Mom."
"Yuzu," Karin protested in shock.
"I'm serious, Karin," she shrugged while picking at a piece of lint on her knee-length sock. "Children's Day would be the easiest to write about . . .and I know you want to know more about her. . . because I do too."
"I don't even know where to start; we don't know much about her," the girl dismissed despondently.
"Start with what you do remember about her and ask Otou-chan for the rest."
"I guess."
"C'mon," Yuzu flung the notebook back onto her sister's lap and grinned brightly at her twin, "you need to get started if we're ever gonna ride roller coasters."
"Crackling whip. Slithering tongues," Karin whispered softly to herself, so she wouldn't be heard. She didn't want to risk waking up Yuzu who was sleeping soundly across from her as this was the only time she could pull out the old text without the risk of being caught. "Entangle in incandescent constriction," she finished saying. Yoruichi was right; it was an easy incantation. After reading it a few times, Karin was confident she could remember it without looking at the book. She was repeating the short spell multiple times in her head when a bothersome thought broke through the process. She had taken Yuzu's advice and decided to ask their dad about their mother. It hadn't gone over with much success.
Karin was in the living room flipping through channels on the television trying in vain to find something to watch when her dad stepped through the clinic door and headed for the kitchen. She recalled what Yuzu said during lunchtime, and she had no idea when she'll get a moment to talk to her Dad. Karin clicked the T.V. off and got up off the couch. 'Better get this over with'.
While her dad was filling up his coffee cup, the girl walked to the fridge and retrieved an apple from it. "Hey . . .Otou-san," she greeted awkwardly. She rarely ever referred to him as anything but mild insults, and calling him by the proper title made her wince internally. But, she figured the situation didn't call for a 'Goatchin' remark. "Can I ask you something?"
He was as surprised by her polite reply as she was because he cut his sip short and sputtered, "E-eh, sure. What does my darling daughter want with Daddy?"
She twisted the stem of her Fuji in nervousness. She, the brave Karin, was nervous in the face of her father; this was a subject she never dared to ask in the past. "What was Okaa-san like?"
For a moment, his eyes dimmed and stared into the distance like he was seeing nothing and everything at once. But it was gone, and her father was back. He flung his coffee cup in the air and ran to the oversized poster on the wall of the living room completely ignoring the shatter of ceramic and the subsequent mess he made. He flung himself at his deceased wife's bust while a river of crocodile tears fell from his face. "MAAAAAAAAASAAKIIIIII! OUR DAUGHTER'S AT A CURIOUS AGE AND ASKING ABOUT YOU! BUT YOU CAN'T ANSWER HER BECAUSE YOU'RE GONE, OKAA-SAN! WHAT SHOULD I TELL HER?!"
Karin jutted her jaw out in annoyed disappointment. She should have known it would be pointless to ask him something serious. "Whatever. Never mind," she trudged up the stairs, "I'm going to bed." She was already halfway up the stairs when he called Karin's name. She had already closed her door when he said a quiet 'I'm sorry'.
She spent the rest of the evening doing her homework until Yuzu came in—ready for bed—and informed her that their dad had left once again. Karin glanced at her alarm clock. It was nearly midnight and her dad has still yet to come home. A spiteful thought crossed her mind, 'If he's not going to tell me about my mother, I'll go find out for myself'. She's sure that a lot of her mother's possessions still remained in their bedroom. 'Might as well check it out while he's gone'. Karin got up off her bed, tucked the Kidō book back underneath her mattress, and headed for her dad's room.
It felt strange to cross the threshold of the master bedroom. She hasn't been inside it since she was gone. Once her mother left, the aura of the room had changed completely; no matter what time of day it was, the room had always felt bright and welcoming with her in it, but now it felt cold and empty. It was just her dad's room now, and it felt like she was trespassing on his privacy by entering.
She took a look around. The room was nearly the same with the exception of a few changes. Where books and hand creams used to sit on her mother's bedside table, there was only a solitary 8x10 picture of her smiling face to match the smaller 5x7 that was on her father's bedside table. Both picture frames were tilted slightly towards the bed as if her face was the first thing he wanted to see when he opened his eyes. It was obvious to Karin that, despite how ridiculous her dad could be he missed his wife terribly.
She walked to the armoire. There were more photos on the lacquered surface. There was a trifold frame with baby pictures of the three children. There was a photo of the whole family having a picnic; everyone seemed to be clinging to Masaki; Isshin had his arm wrapped lovingly around her shoulder while wearing a huge grin, Yuzu was tucked between her mom and dad, Ichigo clung to her other side with a goofy grin, and Karin had managed to jump up to wrap both arms around her mother's neck and lean her tiny head against the apples of her mother's cheeks. That was a fun day. The last picture frame on the armoire was of her parents when they were younger. Her mother, in a below knee-length white summer dress, and her father, in a black button up and slacks, were sharing a kiss in front of the courthouse steps. 'This must have been the day they got married'. Her mother's arms were slung around her Dad's neck with bouquet in hand while her dad wrapped his arms around the small of her waist, so there was no distance between them. It was probably considered an inappropriate public display of affection, but while other couples barely held hands in public, her parents were very passionate and open about their affection for one another. It was clear in that moment nobody else in the world existed except the two of them.
Besides the photos, there was a hair comb and few bottles of cologne. One in particular stood out among the dark, rectangular bottles. The slim, clear glass bottle was made up of gentle curves that contained a champagne-colored fragrance. She picked it up, removed the gold top, and took a whiff. It was floral without being heady, yet it had a soothing warmth that Karin couldn't place, and a kiss of orange blossom that added a touch of freshness. It reminded her of the comforting embrace of her mother.
Karin admits that in the beginning, she was a bigger crybaby than Yuzu ever was at that time; she would cry if she was cranky from a nap, if she hurt herself, and any other reason she felt required tears and screaming. She was very vocal about it and wanted to make sure everyone knew she was upset. When she was nearing the end of her toddlerhood, her crying phase dwindled down to where she would only cry when things happened out of her control, like nightmares. They happened a lot—she couldn't remember what they were about now; the terror was the only thing that stuck—and it was her mother's comforting presence that would ebb the tears.
It was that scent that filled her nostrils each time she fell asleep in her mother's arms with her face pressed into the crook of her mother's neck. It told her she was safe. Karin set the bottle down and made a mental note to take the perfume later, so she can spray it on her pillow. She turned away from the armoire—she didn't even contemplate going through the drawers because she didn't want to violate her dad's privacy any more than she already was—and headed for the closet.
She slid the door open. Most of the space was taken up by her clothes ranging from normal men's clothes to the outrageously tacky (the man loved his Hawaiian shirts and loud geometric prints). In the furthest corner of the closet were a few articles of her mom's—it looks he had trouble parting with everything. Among the simple wedding dress and ankle-length skirts, Karin spotted a cream-colored cardigan. She slid it forward, so it was right in front of her. 'Okaa-san would always wear this around the house'. Karin ran the tips of her fingers over the sleeve. 'Still one of the softest things I ever touched'.
The young girl had a brief moment of vulnerability she would never wish anybody would see. She placed the sleeves over her shoulders and wrapped her arms in a desperate hug. With all the intense things happening in her life lately, Karin could use her mother's reassurance right now. Rather than gripping handfuls of loose knitted fabric, Karin imagined she was grasping onto her mother's lean, yet pliant back. Since Karin was so young when her mother died, her recollection of what she looked like in her memories was foggy at best, so what she conjured up was the gleaming face of the 'Masaki Forever' poster her father runs to daily. Maybe that was why he did that constant ritual. 'So we won't forget what she looked like'.
Despite the musty dust that tried to break the illusion, she could practically feel her mom's elegant hands stroke along her spine as she whispered soothingly, 'It's okay, Karin. Everything will be fine'. Karin became so lost in her wishful reverie that she didn't notice she was leaning further into the closet until she heard the crash of something spilling onto the carpet. She retracted herself from the top and looked down to see what damage she did. One of the three stout, cylindrical boxes was toppled over and had subsequently spilt all of her father's fedoras.
She bent down to put them back in the box. After the fourth one, she began to wonder, 'Did he really need to buy so many? Goatchin must think he's soo cool in these ridiculous hats'. Once Karin had managed to get them all in, she placed the lid on and lifted it to place it back on the stack. She was about to place it on top when she read the kanji that was written there on the second box of the totem: 'Masaki'. She dropped the hatbox back onto the ground with a muffled 'thud'. Could this hold everything she needed to know about her mother?
Her hands shook as she reached to lift the box. 'Why am I so nervous?'. She carefully placed it on the ground in front of her and slowly lifted the lid. Inside there seem to be a myriad of stuff. The first thing Karin saw was a crumpled pack of Seven Stars. The girl frowned in distaste, 'I didn't think Okaa-san smoked'. She opened up the package and saw twelve cigarettes remaining. She had no idea what that meant, so she set it aside. She combed her hands through the little doodads on top that looked like Shinto charms until she found a little teddy bear holding a red heart. 'Musta been a gift from Goatchin'. To the right of that were plastic baggies with tufts of feathery orange, black, and honey hair.
Underneath that was a small powder blue book. Could this be her diary? Karin opened the first page and found vibrant pressed flowers stuck to the page—most of the book was filled with all different types. A lot of the pages had a brief description of the flower or a simple title. What stood out to Karin was the metamorphosis the titles took in the book. In the beginning it was clinical—just the common and Latin name—but half way through the titles were associated with an event, person, or feeling in her life. A page with a Merlot colored rose said, 'About damn time!'. A few flips later, there was a page that had translucent white and pink petals and read, 'Forever'. Further back there was a grouping of wild flowers with 'Thank you, my sweet little boy'. Soon she came to a page that had one simple tiny, white blossom—with pink spots in the middle of the five petals—on it with 'Karin' written in large print. Karin had no idea what she had to do with that flower, so she continued through the book. A page was covered in vibrant purple pansies and light amber freesias: 'My playful girl'. The book ends abruptly with a page filled with a various size and shaped flowers and simply said, 'Happiness'. 'This must have been right before she died'.
Karin dismissed the melancholy that came with that thought, set the book aside, and continued her perusal. Pressed against the wall of the box seemed to be a stack of photos. 'Wow, so this is what she looked like in high school'. Her tawny-haired mom stood out among the group of dark-haired high school girls she was posing with. She stared at her smiling face for a moment. 'Man, Yuzu looks so much like her,' she thought with a hint of envy. Her sister had inherited her mother's light-colored features and soft, rounded cheeks that looked adorable when they smile while she got her dad's dark eyes and hair along with his harsh angles.
She flipped through more of the photos with her friends until she came to one that had a new face. Her mom had her arm slung around a white-haired teen (Pfft, how does a teenager get white hair?) with black, square frames on his face. She was displaying a teasing grin while her friend smiled softly in the picture. 'Huh, I never saw Okaa-san with that facial expression before'. She flipped through several pictures of her mother and father when they young; she was sporting the same mirthful grin in most of them. 'Never mind'. She stopped again on a photo that was taken on their wedding day. 'The white-haired man again'. Her parents were posing with him and a black haired woman—probably his spouse. There was one with the man's up-close face glaring at her dad as he tucked him under his arm to squeeze in for a self-portrait photo. The foursome appeared in another family shot. The black-haired lady—who looked like she just walked away from Death's door—was sitting up in a hospital bed smiling weakly at the matching haired infant in her arms while the white-haired man squatted down next to them, and her parent's stood holding a much larger orange-haired infant. The last one in the bunch was of her father decked out in green scrubs holding a fussy newborn with blonde hair while the white-haired man—wearing blue scrubs—was in the middle of passing a pissed-off black-haired baby to her obviously exhausted, yet euphoric mother. 'I don't remember him at all. Who is he?' He was in a lot of major moments of their lives, so he was clearly an important friend to them. It made her wonder when and why her parents had stopped having contact with him.
Karin set the photos next to the other items and peered into the box when something caught her attention. There was something gleaming at the very bottom of the box. She rummaged through until she reached and pulled it out. It was a bracelet. Despite it seeming to be made out of silver, there was no tarnish anywhere on it. It was made out of thick links with enough of them to make the bracelet hang loosely on the wrist. While connected to one of the links was a smaller chain with a flat charm of a flower with five rounded, yet pointed petals that met in an empty perfect circle.
Her mom didn't wear much jewelry, but Karin remembered this piece. Besides her wedding rings, this was the only piece of jewelry she would always have on. She remembered the five-pointed flower always peeking out of her long-sleeve shirts; it would make this delicate tinkling sound anytime she moved.
Karin has this memory of sitting on her mother's lap playing with her mother's hands in boredom when she asked in childish curiosity, "Kaa-chan, who gave you this? Was it Tou-chan?"
Her mother had gently shaken her head and looked down at her wrist. "Mm-mm. 'Though Tou-chan has given me some of the best gifts," she emphasized by squeezing Karin tightly, and then continued on, "My Kaa-chan and Tou-chan gave this to me when I was younger . . ." Amber eyebrows knitted as she thought over her next response with serious contemplation. "Maybe someday I'll pass it on."
A/N: To all those who decided to stick with my story despite the spoilage: Now you see, Masaki is actually going to play huge role in Karin discovering what she is.
There were a few things I wanted to clear up a one thing that could be confusing since it's all in a Karin point of view:
The cigarettes in the box were not Masaki's. The way I looked at it, Isshin bought a 20-pack after she died and has smoked one every year on the anniversary of her death (that's why 8 are missing). He keeps them there as a sort of ritual; every year he'll remove his cigarettes and look through all the memories of Masaki.
Another thing the flower charm on Masaki's bracelet is a Forget-me-not. The kanji for her name means "True" (Ma-) and "Blossom" (-saki). I originally wanted a chrysanthemum to represent her as it could mean truth and grief (white) in hanakōtoba. But because there are way too many petals to make sense, I chose the five-petal Forget-me-not that has the meaning of true love and remembrance.
Speaking of flowers, was it pretty easy to guess all the milestones in Masaki's flower book? If so, leave your guesses in the comments!
