I apologize for any mistakes. I was trying to get this chapter out fairly quickly and haven't had the chance to do a deep reread. Hope y'all are enjoying this story so far, and I hope you enjoy this chapter!


I was finishing giving my statement to the police officers when my room door opened again, and Adrian walked in. He was visibly stressed and let out a small sigh of relief when he saw me. Dimitri was in the room as well, to give his statement to the police about how he found me, and Adrian glanced over at him briefly before coming to stand by my bed. He didn't say anything, noting the officers still in the room, but squeezed my hand. I've known Adrian for years, nearly as long as I've known Lissa, and I trust him completely, but the touch still made my chest tighten and my heart rate starts to spike. He let go of my hand quickly and I pulled the covers on my bed up closer to my chin, tucking both of my hands underneath.

"Rose?" Dimitri broke the silence, and I shifted on the bed so that I was facing him. He held up a few papers. "The police left this for you. One is about the police report and getting your own copy once it's submitted and processed and then there's information about contacting the precinct in case you remember anything else or need to get in contact with them."

"Thank you," I murmured, pulling my blankets higher. I wanted to go home and not leave my bed for days. "When can I leave this hellhole?"

"Soon," Adrian said. "Lissa was talking to the nurse about discharge paperwork when I passed her."

I glanced over at Dimitri again. "Did you call him?"

"If he's Adrian, then yes," he said. "He and Lissa were in your list of emergency contacts. Your parents were there too, but I figured you probably didn't want me calling them."

My parents. I hadn't even begun to think about them. I didn't want to think about them. Maybe they didn't have to know.

I just wanted to go home.

"Thank you, for the call," Adrian said. He turned back to face me, having walked around the bed to where Dimitri was so that I didn't have to keep rolling over to look at the both of them.

"I wished I could have come sooner," Adrian said. "I couldn't get ahold of my professor until shortly before class was supposed to start, and traffic was a nightmare getting here."

"You were teaching today?" I asked softly. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry to both of you."

"No, you don't have to be sorry," Adrian said, concern on his face. "This isn't your fault, Rose."

I didn't answer him.

"Rose. You know this isn't your fault, right?" Dimitri said, his voice full of concern. I still didn't want to answer. I could hear the worry in his voice, in both of their voices, but I only closed my eyes, so I didn't have to look at either of them.

I heard one of them sigh, and when Dimitri muttered something in Russian a few moments later, I figured that it was him.

"What do you teach?" Dimitri said, presumably to Adrian.

"I'm a TA for one of the professors that I had in undergrad. I only teach a few classes a semester though," Adrian answered.

"Where at?"

"NYU," he said. "Being four hours away can be a hassle, but it's manageable."

Dimitri didn't say anything for a moment, and I cracked my eyes open long enough to see him deep in thought.

"And you and Rose are?"

"She's my girlfriend," Adrian answered.

"Oh."

I saw a guard immediately go up on his face and I winced silently. Dimitri seemed contemplative and I hoped that this wouldn't turn into a huge thing.

Lissa walked in then, preventing either of the men from saying anything. She held papers in her hand and I nearly jumped out of the bed.

"Rose, the nurse is coming now to remove your IV and then we can go, okay?" she said.

Just as she promised, the nurse arrived moments later to pull out my IV and put gauze and tape over it. Fifteen minutes later, we were walking out of the hospital, and Lissa helped me into her car. Adrian said that he would meet us at the apartment and went around to the parking garage to get his own car.

"Rose," Dimitri said, stopping me from shutting the car door just yet. "Will you keep me updated? Please."

I nodded. "Okay. Do you still have the same number?"

He didn't mask his look of surprise fast enough. "Yeah, do you still have it?"

I nodded again. "Yeah. I'll text you."

"Thank you." He looked relieved and started to walk away, pulling Lissa aside. They had a short conversation before he walked away and Lissa got behind the wheel.

"What was that about?"

"He asked me to keep him updated too," she said. "Just in case you forget to text or call or something."

I rolled my eyes. "I don't know why he cares."

She shot me a look. "Of course you know why he cares. He's still in love with you, Rose."

"No, he isn't," I said. "And before you say it, I'm not in love with him either."

I could tell from the face she made that she didn't believe me, and to be honest, I almost didn't believe myself.


I fell asleep on the couch almost as soon as we got back to the apartment. The television was playing The Great British Bake Off on Netflix, and as the episode went on, the more tired I became until I just stopped trying to fight it.

When I woke up, there was a message on the screen asking if I was still watching Netflix, and I turned it off. The apartment was quiet, and Lissa was nowhere in sight.

"Lissa?"

There wasn't an answer.

I felt my chest start to tighten again at the thought of being alone.

I pulled out my phone and tried calling her. She didn't answer my calls or texts and the panic started to build more.

I wasn't that far from the bookstore. If he stalked me enough to know my hours and that I was closing alone last night, what's to say he didn't know where I lived too.

I felt the panic building and it started getting harder to breathe.

I didn't realize I had dialed Dimitri's number until he answered.

"Rose?"

"Can you come over?" I whispered. "I don't want to be alone."

"Of course, Roza," he said.

I rattled off the address and curled up on the couch, trying to calm my racing heart. Every time I heard movement out in the hall, my heart would start beating insanely fast and I was drenched in a cold sweat.

I let out a small scream at the knock on the door and almost couldn't bring myself to answer it until I remembered that Dimitri was coming over. I stared at him through the peephole for a moment before opening the door and then slamming it shut as soon as he was through.

There was more concern on his face once more as he looked me over and took in my panicked state.

"Rose," he said. "Look at me. It's okay. Nobody's going to hurt you. I'll protect you."

I met his eyes but barely understood what he said.

"I need you to try and take some deep breaths, and I need you to try to calm down," he said. I tried to do as he said, but the second I tried to breathe deeply, my chest started hurting more.

"It hurts," I said. I could feel the tears started to weld up.

"Where?"

I rubbed at my chest, just over my heart.

"Rose, I think you're having a panic attack. You need to sit down, take some deep breathes, and clear your mind. I'll do it with you, okay?"

He led me to the couch and sat next to me, our thighs practically touching.

"Breathe in," he said, and I followed suit. "And breathe out."

The pain in my chest was still there, but as I continued to breathe with Dimitri, it loosened and started to dissolve. I could feel the tears welling up again at the thought of breaking down in front of Dimitri and tried to breathe through that too.

"I'm sorry," I blurted.

"You don't need to be," he immediately said. "You don't have anything to be sorry for."

"But I am."

He studied me for a moment, his eyes calculating. He let the subject drop though. "Where are Lissa and Adrian?"

As if on cue, my phone dinged with an income text.

From Lissa (13:44): Just saw you called. Adrian and I ran out to the store; we figured we would be back before you woke.

I turned my phone to Dimitri so he could just read the text too. He pursed his lips but nodded.

"Do you want to take a shower? That might help you feel better," Dimitri said, and I just nodded.

He didn't follow me back to my bedroom, and I shut my door and locked it. After a moment, I unlocked it and decided just to lock the bathroom door instead. I stripped out of my clothes and turned to look in the mirror.

I stared at myself in the mirror, disgusted. There were bruises littering my body, and I could see the imprint of fingers around my hips. I turned away from the mirror before another panic attack started and stepped under the hot water. I don't know how long I was standing under the water before I slid down against the wall until I was sitting completely and started to sob.

I was crying so hard that my body was shaking with the force of my tears, and my chest started to ache again. I figured I needed to get used to it with how often it was happening.

My skin was pink from the heat by the time I stopped crying and I grabbed the soap off the ledge so that I could scrub my body clean. I started scrubbing harder than I meant to but couldn't stop once I started. I scrubbed at my arms and legs, at my hips, back, and torso, scrubbing until I had nearly used the whole bar of soap.

I stumbled out of the shower and into my room. I avoided my drawer full of leggings, and instead pulled on the biggest pair of sweats I owned and the baggiest shirt. I couldn't stand to be in anything tight fitting right now.

I crawled under the covers on my bed and curled up once again.

"Rose?" Dimitri knocked on the door. "Can I come in?"

"Yes."

He opened the door slowly, and left it open, before making his way over to my bed. His eyes widened when he saw my arms, still pink from the hot water, but also partially rubbed raw from my vicious washing. He started to reach out to touch me and I yelped, twisting away.

"Don't touch me!"

Dimitri held both of hands in the air and nodded. "Rose, what did you do?"

"Once I started washing, I couldn't stop," I whispered. I could already start to feel tears building up again.

"Rose," Dimitri said, frowning. "You can't do that. You're going to hurt yourself."

"I don't care," I muttered.

Dimitri's frown deepened. "Roza, no. Please."

I avoided his eyes, knowing I would see hurt in them if I looked.

"C'mon," Dimitri said. "Let's go watch some boring television."

I moved back out to the couch, curling up under my blankets out there. Dimitri picked a random episode of The Great British Bake Off and we sat in silence throughout it. When the next show started, Dimitri paused it and turned to me.

"Is it okay if Viktoria comes over?" he asked softly. "I texted her this morning that I'm in town, and she said she'd love to see you again."

I rolled my eyes. "I highly doubt that. We didn't exactly part of the best of terms."

"What are you talking about?" He was crouched down in front of me at this point so that he could look me in the eyes.

"She didn't tell you," I murmured, more to myself than him. "It's not important."

I could see in his eyes that he didn't believe me, and as much as I knew he wanted to push the conversation, he stepped back and didn't. Like always. It was one of the things that I love about him. Loved. I corrected myself. Not love present tense.

"She can come over," I said. "You didn't tell her though, did you?"

"No," he said. "Absolutely not. It's not my place or story to tell."

He pushed play on the next episode, and when I glanced over, he was typing something on his phone.

"Rose?" Lissa called, the apartment door banging open. "Are you okay?"

Dimitri stood, and grabbed a few of the grocery bags from her hands to bring into the kitchen. She followed behind him with the rest, and I could hear them talking in hushed tones.

Adrian walked into the apartment behind Lissa and came to sit on the ground in front of the couch. "How are you feeling?"

"Shitty."

"I'm sorry we left you here alone," he started.

"No, it's okay. You guys didn't know," I said. "I'm sorry I'm being such a fucking baby."

"You're not being a baby, Rose," he said. "You went through a traumatic event and that takes time to recover from."

I tuned him out, not needing to hear a lecture right now.

I heard him sigh a few moments later as he realized that I had stopped listening. "Rose-"

"Please, just don't," I said.

"Do you need space?" he asked, and I knew immediately what he was really saying.

I nodded. "Thank you."

There was a knock at the door, and I flinched. Adrian was the closest, so he stood and opened it.

"Can I help you?"

I couldn't see who he was talking to but immediately recognized her voice.

"Oh, I'm sorry. My name is Viktoria Belikova; I'm looking for Rose Hathaway Mazur. Do you know her?"

Adrian glanced back at me and I nodded at the same time Dimitri and Lissa came from the kitchen.

"I'm Adrian Ivashkov," he said, stepping back to let Viktoria in. "Rose is over on the couch."

She immediately moved to hug Dimitri first, despite what Adrian said. I truly didn't think she wanted to see. The fury in her eyes the last time we saw each other in NYC was unforgettable. Dimitri hugged her back tightly and I heard him murmur something in Russian that she quickly responded to.

She stepped back and moved to hug Lissa. Their hug didn't last nearly as long, and then she was turning away from her to face me. She didn't move to hug or touch me, for that I was grateful.

"Hey, Rose," she said. "How are you feeling? Dimitri said you caught the flu or something."

"I'm doing okay," I said, warily. I glanced over at Dimitri and he pulled out his phone. My phone dinged with a text a moment later.

"I brought you some soup to help. It's your favorite that we used to make freshman year," she said. She moved to stick it in the fridge, and I glanced down at my phone.

From Dimitri (14:34): I told her you were sick so she wouldn't try to touch you.

From Rose (14:35): Thank you.

Viktoria came back from the kitchen and sat on the loveseat. Lissa brought me some water before her, Dimitri, and Adrian all disappeared into the kitchen. I could see Viktoria watching Adrian.

"He's cute," Viktoria said. "Seems like a nice guy."

I cracked a smile. Adrian was cute. And he damn well knew it too.

"Yeah, he is. To both," I said.

Viktoria laughed. "How's Cornell?"

I propped myself up on the couch. "It's okay. Annoying at times, but generally okay. Are you enjoying Ithaca College?"

She nodded. "It's great. I like the feel of it so much more than Cornell."

"Why didn't you just transfer somewhere closer to home?" I said, curiosity getting the better of me.

She shrugged. "I liked being in Ithaca. I wasn't ready to leave, and I needed the freedom."

Neither of us said anything for a moment.

"Rose, about what happened in NYC-"

"Viktoria, it's okay. It's in the past and over with."

"It's not okay. I said some mean things."

"I probably deserved it," I said. The dark thoughts ate me, building up more and more. I knew I deserved it.

She didn't have time to say anything else before Dimitri walked back into the living room. Adrian came from behind him and crouched down in front of me again.

"I'm sorry I can't stay longer," he said, genuine concern on his face. "I have to go back."

"It's okay," I said, meaning it. "I'll be okay."

He lowered his voice. "The second you need me, I'm here, okay? I'll charter a plane next time so I can be here faster."

"Thank you," I whispered. "I'll call you."

He murmured something else to Lissa as he hugged her goodbye and shook Dimitri's hand.

"Thank you for coming over," he said. He turned to say goodbye to Viktoria next before walking out the door. Her gaze followed him out the door, and I could see that she had questions.

"Come on, Vika," Dimitri said. "I think Rose might want to nap."

I faked a yawn, realizing what Dimitri was doing. "Thank you for helping. I'll text you."

He smiled and nodded and shut the door behind the two of them.

I sighed, part of me relieved he was gone, but also part of me already starting to miss him again.

"Rose, how are you feeling?" Lissa said, turning off the television. The show had long since been muted anyways.

"I'm hungry."

"Do you want some of Viktoria's soup? I can warm it up for you."

I nodded and I could hear her moving around in the kitchen before she came back into the living room to kneel in front of me.

"Dimitri said you called him in a panic," Lissa said. "He said you told him you didn't want to be alone."

I looked away, unable to look her in the eyes.

"Who knows what he knows, Lissa," I said, my voice breaking. "I can't be here alone."

"You won't be," she said, promising. "I spoke with Dimitri and he's going to come over while I'm at work tomorrow and stay with you until I get back. Are you okay with that?"

I nodded. "I don't want to be alone."


I woke up screaming. I didn't know what time it was and the covers were tight against my body. I was drenched in sweat, making the blankets stick to me. I was thrashing in the bed, scratching at myself trying to get the covers off.

"No!" I screamed as soon as I felt the first touch to my wrists, holding them down.

"Roza, it's okay," a soothing voice said. "It's okay. You're here. You're at your apartment."

My chest was still heaving, but slowly the panic stopped as I became more awake. My wrists were still being held down, but gently.

"It's okay, Roza," the voice said again. It was still soothing, and I felt myself relaxing more. "It's okay."

Once I stopped fighting, the pressure on my wrists went away and the small bedside lamp was clicked on to a brighter setting. I didn't even remember seeing it be turned on to begin with. Dimitri sat on the edge of the bed, concern clearly etched on his face. The covers were off of me completely and I went to tug down the edge of my shirt that had ridden up when I saw the blood.

"I'm sorry for holding your wrists down," Dimitri said softly. "You were hurting yourself. Scratching and tearing at your arms."

I sat up and stared at my arms, seeing the scratches Dimitri had mentioned, and seeing how some ran deeper than others.

"Stay here," he said. "I'm going to find the first aid kit."

"It's in the bathroom, under the sink," I said.

I felt his weight lift off the bed, and moments later, he was back. He propped the box open on the bed and dug around in it for a few moments before grabbing gauze and nonstick pads out of it.

"Can I touch you to clean and wrap this up?"

"Yes," I said.

He pulled small packets of alcohol wipes out of the box and opened one. It burned as he gently rubbed the blood off my arms and cleaned the scratches. I watched him examine my arms closely before putting the pads down and wrapping it in the gauze.

"You're not bleeding too bad, but hopefully this will help prevent any further scratches or causing bleeding from the existing ones," he said. He got up and started to put away the first aid kit, but left it in the bedroom, next to my bedside table.

I watched silently, noting the care in his eyes and how gently he wrapped my arm. "Being a doctor is a good fit for you."

The words slipped out and Dimitri froze. His eyes were guarded when he looked back at me, but his voice was slightly teasing when he spoke. "Not a doctor yet, Roza."

The nickname slipped out and I didn't correct him. "Another year, right?"

I was wringing my hands, almost desperate to keep the conversation going even though the subject matter was touchy for both of us.

"Yes, one more year," he said. "It's still early; why don't you try to get some more sleep?"

A glance at my phone told me that it was barely six am. Lissa must have had to go in early today, hence why Dimitri was here instead.

"Okay," I said. He went to leave the room and I moved back under the covers. He didn't move to shut the door, and I was glad for that.

"Dimitri?"

He paused in the doorway, turning back to face me.

"Will you stay? I don't want to be alone right now."

"Of course, Roza."

He didn't say anything about how I wouldn't technically be alone as long as he was in the apartment. He just walked back over to the bed and climbed on top of it. He laid on top of the sheets, and far enough away that we weren't touching, but close enough that I could still smell his aftershave.

I drifted back off to sleep in no time at all, feeling comforted for the first time in a while.

Just wanted to leave a message down here explaining a few things.

1) I do have some flashback chapters that are written already for this story, so hopefully, I'll be able to update again soon, but no promises (see #3).

2) I'm looking for a beta to help read through for grammatical mistakes and things that don't make sense, etc., so please send me a PM if you're interested!

3) I put this on the most recent chapter of Taken, but I wanted to put it here too in case you haven't read Taken or didn't see it.

I was traveling from my university to my hometown, which is about six hours difference because I need to get my car looked at while I had a short break from work. The trip home was spent mostly on I-75, which is a massive highway in the United States, which can be scary. I was about a mile or so from my exit where I would then spend the last two hours on back roads when I was involved in a severe car accident. Someone came into my lane, causing me to fishtail and spin out and during the spin out, a semi truck t-boned me on the driver's said. He was roughly going 50 miles per hour when he hit me. I was fortunate to be alive and rather unscathed when looking at the big picture. My car was completely totaled, but I managed to walk away with extremely sore hips and an extremely sore back. Sometime during the accident, I broke my ankle and had to have surgery to fix it. As a result, I'm on crutches for 6 weeks before I can start physical therapy and start learning how to walk and use that foot again. After the accident and the surgery, I was in a lot of pain and on pain pills, and during that time, every time I tried to write anything, I just found myself being unable to. I ended up missing two weeks of my final semester at my university and just made the trip back down to my university this past weekend. I have written a few things for other stories that are for later chapters when the inspiration strikes me, but I'm not 100% sure how often I will be able to update, which for that I'm sorry. I'm still trying to settle into my schedule here and figuring out everything that I need to do in order to graduate on time, which is crucial, as I've been accepted by three universities for grad school, including my top choice. I will try to keep you guys updated, and I thank you for your support.