Loki saw Heimdall's gaze on him and turned away. He needed food and a bed. Not the complaints of some unimportant man. "Loki," His call was a command. Perhaps his thoughts were harsh. Heimdall was a respected warrior. "it is not suggested." Loki spun in response, his helmet and over-armor appearing within a golden mist. The feel of metal plates pressing into in padded skin was comforting, secure.
"I know," He smiled with hidden intent, not to threaten, merely to remind. "but what else is there to do around here?" Loki smiled sweetly "Promise not to tell?" Heimdall was a stoic as he ever was. "I am harming no one" He offered, hands clasping behind his back, shoulders pushing up.
"Except Tony Stark" A statement that held little truth.
"No harm will come to him." Loki 'pleaded'. "Please?"
Loki was curious and stubborn, but hardly malicious. Mischievous maybe, but not malevolent. He wanted Heimdall to let it pass. "It is merely a curiosity of mine" If it failed here, it could be ever bad for both Tony and himself. He would not let it fail.
Besides, this honest gatekeeper had not revealed the fact that Tony had not been sent far enough in time to reach his own time. Why so holy and righteous now?
"I shall pick him up in confidence after he calls. Providing he calls you. If he calls to Odin himself, Odin shall know." Damn this gatekeeper and his sworn oaths.
"Oh, and how is my brother - he is down there with Stark, is he not?"
"He is fine. Stark and Thor have not met on this Earth yet." Loki considered this, brewing a new, if slightly more ambitious task than he had before intended.
"Perhaps they should, Hmm?" Heimdall gave him a knowing look, one mixed with warning and disapproval. If Loki was looking for approval, he most certainly wouldn't look here. It was all good and well that he wasn't, wasn't it.
Whatever it was that just happened, he hoped to never have to do it again in his life. His head was ringing, unnecessarily loudly. Beneath his feet was a burnt and gravelly symbol, something he doubted would be easy to clear. He was crouching in the middle of the circle when he found enough strength to open his eyes. Well, the Earth looked a lot dimmer than the golden walls of Asgard. He was a little bit let down to be honest. He wondered if pepper would let him plate the walls in gold? After all, she liked shiny metals.
He runs his fingers through the gravel, sifting stones and dirt through his fingers. Feeling the needles relent in his toes, he wobbled to his feet. He hoped no one saw this. He hobbled towards the door to his tower, his precious, non-shiny tower.
"Wait one tiny minute," Tony swung round in circles, taking in his surroundings. Not exactly post-almost-apocalyptic decor. Urgh. Not what he asked for. Then a shape appeared by the external doors.
"Pepper!" He cried, forgetting for a moment what this was, and hoping for another that it wasn't.
She emerged out of the tower, a little put off by the new road graffiti, wielding a clipboard and pen. "What on Earth is wrong with you?! And what-" She stopped walking towards him. "What are you wearing!?" She was not suitably pleased to see him and that was not the response he had expected.
"I erm..." He looked down at his attire. No, he could give her that, he didn't exactly look like the front cover of Vogue. Tony walked towards her, hushing her along with him back inside the building.
"Right, and-" She looked back up the stairs she had come down only seconds before. "What the hell?" Pepper looked a little shocked, judging by the size of her eyes and the little yelp of realization that left her lips.
"Wha-" Tony Stark was interrupted, but not by Pepper, with a quite frankly put:
"Who the hell are you talking to? If it's Frank again, you know where to tell him to stick that... Deal..."
There were many things Tony had expected about his voyage home. Being planted in a different time to the one he left, like was apparent now, or even perhaps a different country - even a different planet. He had heard mars was nice last millennium. He had not however prepared himself to hear, well, himself. This could be a little difficult to explain.
A man dressed in a grey shirt with ripped and greasy trouser, descended down the staircase two steps at a time, freezing on the last step, eyes meeting Tony's.
"Hello." Nothing could ever be weirder, or as oddly arousing, as greeting yourself.
"Hey -" Other-him seemed just as subtly confused as... Him? "Is there something you need to tell me Pepper?" At least other-him was actually like him. All sass and asshole-y. If not that would be a little disappointing. All his hopes of getting home now seemed a little dimmer - what was Loki up to?
It hadn't occurred to him, at least not until now that he himself may have changed something. If he had indeed gone back into the past, and Loki was pulling no trick, which was becoming an increasing possibility, does it now mean that he caused some alternate reality? Is this Loki actually an innocent and confused bystander who happened to save another innocent man who almost landed on him in a foreign land?
Did Tony have it wrong? Loki didn't look very hot back in 'his' place. Could he pull a scenario this good out of his pocket when it's been shredded and packed full of dirt and sweat? Why would he go through the effort to send him back to another earth. If he wanted Tony dead, why the foreplay? This all seemed a little unnecessary...
He had to stop, thinking well about Loki Laufeyson hurt his head. Besides, this was Loki. Who knows what he wants anymore. He cant get all 7 billion humans so he'll have to settle with... one. Hell, this did sound a little absurd. Or was that what Loki wanted him to think?
Tony never could understand what goes through Loki's head. He wasn't entirely sure he wanted to.
Well, whether Loki's on the wagon or 38 miles behind, as he's here he might as well go get answers he could trust. When was this? Judging by the lack of concern of his counter parts face, not avenger timeline and not as early as pre-prisoner. The glowing box on his chest told him that. He looked around his tower, Pepper's face expectant, his own face's amused reflected in his eyes.
"Hey, whats happening to you guys at the moment?" Tony scanned the room further, picking out the bourbon cabinet with glistening eyes.
"Hammer." Oh brilliant. They were fun times. He had half a mind to 'borrow' some of his own alcohol, but he already had a hell hangover induced by that monster of a transport. He'll stick to the stairs next time. But veering vaguely back onto the topic, he had to figure out what else is happening around this little point.
Snippets of some Agent and large, blaring cut scene of Miss 'Rushmore' came to mind. A little something followed, something he hadn't picked up on at first.
Thor.
Thor was having a disco down on Migard, or whatever those aliens liked to call it, wasn't he? But where? Reels and reels of depressive drinking and new elements hit him like a horrible, twisted version of nostalgia.
Come on, Tony, think!
Oh yeah.
New Mexico. Right... How the hell am I going to get to New Mexico? Before the other... people had time to ask any more questions that he really didn't have answers to, he went straight for it.
"Can I use your suit, well I mean... Our suit?" Other-Tony laughed. He liked to think that seen as he was him they could share a little.
After a little pleasant conversation and offers of hanging around for a bit (which he had to painfully decline) mark 3 was his to use as he pleased, after he'd also passed all the 'is-it-actually-Tony' tests. Being subjected to extremely personal torture was not something he went through everyday. But one good thing came out of it, he found a new and shiny kink. God he was handsome, a mirror just didn't seem to cut it.
Once suited up and sent on his way with a watch and a shirt packed in the only place it would fit, he had a little time to breathe.
He'd never realized how sweet Jarvis' voice was until a familiar sounding: 'Gmorning, sir' came through his ears.
Utilizing his resources as they presented himself, he checked the situation. Jarvis didn't know.
He asked whether this was real. Jarvis's made some snide remark. He had taught him well. But it was apparently real.
He asked where the nearest Denny's was. Jarvis gave him the sad news. He'd passed all of them. It was a grave moment.
The only problem was that Jarvis kept having to be manually instructed to do stuff, he didn't seem to recognize Tony. Kept saying his alignment was off. Well he'd never programmed that into him so he's not sure where Jarvis got that information from.
Now he of course didn't mind the tightness in the left arm joint, it just meant he couldn't do pull ups without the suit locking up, but the suit seemed to mind immensely. 2 or 3 miles from the intended destination, this beautiful piece of art gave up on its mechanical existence and dismantled itself into 247 different pieces, 12ft off the ground. As if he didn't hurt enough.
Well, there goes Jarvis.
Oh great, freakin' fantastic.
He just staid lying belly down on the floor, wheezing lightly into the sand, bits and pieces of burnt out circuits scattered clumsily around him. This felt all too familiar. Of course there wouldn't be any cars on the road. No one to pick him up. Well, there was an upside to this, no one saw him crash. When he finally accepted the unfairness of life he got to his knees. Perhaps finding Thor was a little ambitious. He could just call up that golden dude again? What was his name?
He got to his feet, buried a little hole in the sand and buried his useless mark 3, patting the mound in respect. He served well. Marking a little X with his fingers before wiping the sand from his palms with his shirt, Tony looked ahead of him. The horizon was empty. A beige canvas separated only by a thin grey line. He sighed a great sigh.
Finally plucking his shirt from under a shoulder plate and tying it in a belt loop, he ruffled his hair. He smelt like a plant pot. Breathing in via the mouth, he set about down the road, the twinges in his gazillion muscles returning with venomous force.
The road was long and dusty, the day getting hotter and hotter which didn't really help much. Burger-less and suit-less, he wanted nothing more than a cool beer and a hug.
By the time Tony had figured out that finding Thor might be a useful as a chocolate fireguard, it was already Dusk. This day was just getting better and better.
There was never a man as pleased as Tony Stark when he saw civilization. Well, until till he saw a group of 'civilians' making their way out of a bar.
Their shapes were very distinct, well one of them was. Bulky Frame, shit-eating grin, hippie hair...
He jogged a little, straining those poor, poor muscles just a little more. He promised them a nice long bath with a certain condiment of his and a rubber duck as soon as he got out of this little thing he was in. That seemed to spur them on. Once he caught up, out of breath and out of options he stopped in front of the group, arms out stretched.
"Err... Thor?" He asked, dropping his arms once they stood still.
"Ahh, human!" He jeered, patting him rather harshly on his bruised shoulders. He winced, but the great God of Thunder didn't seem to get the hint. So he stood there in vasts amount of pain, regretting his life immensely.
'Thor' looked drunk - joy. He was trailed by three females. Trash that - two females and a male. Damn he was tired. Right, time for the glorious negotiations. He needed their little friend here and they seemed reluctant to give.
Back in Asgard, once Loki had his plan in motion, it rolled sweetly along at a pleasant pace. He barely had time to reach the feasting hall before he heard his name. It wasn't a call, it was a thought about calling him. Close enough, that would have to do.
Loki set straight to work, weaving his little web. Well, when he said little, it was really quite huge. Cracks in the wall of his own chambers started to form, as if the age old paint were cracking. Peeling off strip by strip, a frozen idea of wind flew out, pulling everything around it in. The hole grew, enveloping the wall from ceiling to floorboard. It was a ditch as black as ebony but as bright as any star. He stepped in.
He felt the dark energy wash over him, dousing him in gasoline as he stood near a flame. Although risky it was fun. He strode through the humid darkness, hand in front searching for the first wall. The hellmouth closed behind him, the sound of a vacuum sucking and the faint but obnoxious cries of things to come and things passed by swirled around him. Although there were no directions, there was a path. An enclosure, fitted to his body. It didn't flex, it didn't bend. It was not solid but not did not run like liquid. It was simply matter. There - that cold and crisp breeze. The signal to turn 'right.' Then it was a simple matter of unlocking the sacred seals and magic wards then he was away. It took no longer than a few minutes before he was standing on concreted ground, unsure of exact locations, but certain it was Earth itself. Normal air was just so dull, and the suns light too bright. The dark paths held a certain charm to Loki. He almost felt at home, though he would never accept anything so soppy to be a truth.
Eventually he would get his hard earned meal, but for now he had to locate the caller of his name.
"Thor - you can't just walk out before-" A woman who he knew to be Jane Foster looked at Tony as he stepped in front of them, cutting herself off mid-sentence. "Hello," She waved weakly. She looked suspicious. "Sorry about him. Whatever he's said or done please ignore him." She lent close to whisper at him. "He's off the meds" Then an air of recognition came to her eyes. "Aren't you..."
"Tony Stark - Iron man? Yeah, but me and the big guy are acquainted, well sort of..." Thor grinned wider. God, his teeth are white.
"I know you?" Drunken Thor was actually quite a delight, but didn't seem like he was going to be of any help in his journey back home. He really had to get some of Thor's history, it was obviously more interesting than previously assumed judging by the lovely Jane at his side.
Weighing up the evidence as four confused and sleep-blurred figures started at him blankly, Tony damn near collapsed.
"Well, it was nice to meet you guys," He shook the hand Jane offered him. Apparently she was a 'fan of his work.' The youngest of the group was a fan of his face, according to herself. "Sorry for your time" Before they could answer, Tony half ran off into a dark alley, collapsing down the wall and onto his ass. Jesus that was cold. All that walking was unnecessary. Salt and about eight lemons squeezed into the gaping wound of his sanity. Would it be undignified to sleep in an alley. On second thought, this little crevice smelled like some Hobo's underwear. Perhaps he'd listen to dignity for once. With a few seconds of labored breathing and glances at the group who were walking down the road, very, very slowly, he came to a piss poor conclusion. Yes, another one.
He was going to have to call that damned little bastard. What did he do? Did he just have to say the name? Scream it off a roof top? Should he have asked for a number?
"You need only think about me" Tony almost screamed, heart missing a beat or three. Finding his tongue, which he'd regrettably just bitten, he stared up at the darkened figure standing in the alley with him.
"Well that's 50 shades of creepy..." Tony held his chest, muttering some obscene promises under his breaths. Apparently Loki had startled him. "You sure you weren't just following me?" Doubts starting growing in Tony's mind again.
"Not physically."
"Again. Stalking's not attractive." He'd almost recovered from the mini-heart attack. He looked up at Loki's face. Pristine and annoyingly arrogant. So, did he know about the..."Hey, erm are you..." He action-ed out a little 'rawr' sequence. How he often imagined Loki as a frost giant. He believed but had never seen. He got a little nervous when Loki's face continued to grow amused.
"You confuse me, I like it." Loki cleared his throat. "Anyway, you called?" He didn't want to call. Loki's a lunatic, a mad man, a man hellbent on destruction and with out depravity or conscience. Not exactly best pal material. Hell, he wasn't even enemy material. Just chain him to the nearest rocket and send him to Titan. But still, he had to play ball if he wanted out, but that doesn't mean he had to fall for every trick and trauma. Only the good ones.
"Right, in case you are playing some game, I just want you to know I know. If you're not and have no idea what I just said, please take me home, to my actual home then promptly leave seconds after. This is not the second date and I am not asking you back for 'coffee.' Capish?"
"I understand." Loki played his 'this-is-unfortunate' routine. "But if this is not where you are from, it might be difficult to ascertain your true time. If Heimdall cannot place your origins, it must be far away."
Tony nearly cried, watching Thor giggle his way through stage 3 drunkenness and Jane mop up messily while Loki, the good guy, stood before him telling him going home was going to take a while. He saw Loki's gaze turn ashamedly to his adopted bro.
"Ohh... wait a moment" The green eyes snapped back to him.
"What?"
"You and him are..."
"Brothers" He was going along the lines of not trying to kill each other, but that works too.
"...Yeah." He licked his drying lips. "So, you taking him back too?" Does he get to see brotherly lovin' in action?
"No"
"Why not? Poor dude's really suffering" Tony laughed at his own joke. Thor was off his rocker with two dazzling, bright young ladies chained to his hip bones. But by heck, this alley really did stink.
"I cannot" Loki seemed to shrink about eight and a half inches right before his very eyes.
"Or won't?" Tony tested, checking where the available exits were if Loki decided to go full on Bruce Lee on him.
"I would, he just isn't worthy." It was said matter of factly, as if Loki didn't care much.
"Worthy?" Tony checked. Worthy of what? World's soberest god? As far as he remembered, Thor was a great guy. Wasn't he king of that place... Obviously after Odin.
"He is... was banished by our father"
"Ouch - Bad boy Thor, huh?" Now he really had to do a little research into this guys life. Didn't exactly sound how he'd imagined. "Well, don't we just have to make him worthy?" Loki's eyebrow raised at the suggestion, he bent his knees, Tony's eyes following him down.
"And how would we do that?" Tony just had to tell himself that he was helping Thor and not Loki, and then in his head this was all justifiable and awesome. Besides, he'd already screwed up this version of events, why not go the whole hog?
"Well, I did have this one idea..."
