MEMORIES

It had been a miracle last time, and Cameron somehow managed to cheat death once again. His 302 had crash-landed into a mountain at high speed, shattering the plane, as well as the bodies of both men. Shrapnel and bone had sliced through Cameron's spine, paralysing him with no chance of ever walking again. Not this time. Captain Wilson hadn't been so lucky.

But that was a year ago now. A year of hospitalisation, unconsciousness and morphine-induced comas as Cam's body pieced itself slowly and painfully back together.

A year of Sam visiting him, looking into his pale, gaunt face, never getting much, if any, response. She watched as his visible wounds healed and scarred, but knowing the internal damage was too great, and the legs lying under the blanket would never move again.

A year of Sam having to avoid their son asking for his daddy. Jack had been a pillar of support, spending all his available time with her, being her shoulder to cry on and helping her look after Jonny. Daniel even managed to get away from his home at Atlantis for a while to do his part to help her through her depression.

Cameron had been awake now for the last two months, staring blankly ahead, never talking or even smiling. He sometimes looked into Sam's eyes but when he did, his were filled with sorrow and pain, fear and despair.

He wasn't sure why he didn't speak. He thought maybe it was knowing that his men had died when he'd managed to hold on once more. Although he knew the mission had been a success, he also knew that too many men had died that day. He thought it might be the realisation that, even if he had that slight chance of walking again, he didn't feel he would have had the drive to go through it all again, with no fancy job offers at the end. Maybe it was that; the knowledge that he'd be forced to retire, a lifetime of service ended prematurely. To stay at home, alone, and still never be the kind of husband he wanted to be, the husband that Sam deserved.

But Cam was beginning to realise it wasn't any of these guilts producing that frustrating niggle that had been growing in his mind every waking moment of the last year. He couldn't work out what was causing it, but he could feel it as an empty feeling deep in his chest and stomach. It made him nauseous and it got worse when Sam visited, but only when he looked at her face. There was something there, and it made him feel awful. And he could see the hurt in Sam's face when he refused to look at her.

Then, one day, Cam was woken by the carefree laughter of a young child down the hall. He opened his eyes and looked curiously at the doorway. After a moment, Sam turned into the room and that old familiar nauseating feeling started in his belly as he stared into her face. He was about to turn away when a small boy appeared at her side, reaching to hold her hand.

Cameron's eyes locked on the boy and they widened as memories and emotions flooded into his mind. The white-blond hair. The bright blue eyes. The shape of his face. He looked so much like Sam, it was incredible. A lump formed in Cam's throat and he choked on it, the first sound he'd made since the crash. Memories of the boy, his son, poured into the void in his mind from behind some impenetrable dam.

"Jonathan?" he choked through a dry throat and mouth, and a tear rolled down Sam's face as it crumpled into that weak smile that is only possible when crying with joy. Cameron turned his gaze to his wife's face, and saw the beauty of it for the first time in too long. He smiled and raised an arm out to her.

She ran towards him and they embraced with longing and love, laughing and crying together.

"Cam," Sam breathed into his shoulder as she buried her face deeper into his skin, "God, Cam, you scared us all so much. You scared me,"

"I'm so sorry, Sam, I really am," he pulled away from her and looked into her eyes, then took in her whole face, the arms around his shoulders, her body. He'd missed that body. He returned his gaze to the boy standing next to the bed, "Jonny?"

The boy smiled, "Yes, Daddy," he said and climbed onto the bed-side chair where he leaned over to wrap his little arms around Cameron's neck.