A/N: I don't own the Twilight Saga, or any of its characters.

Chapter Four

I didn't want to leave, but I would, knowing it was the right thing to do, to give them time to mourn their loss, for Jacob to tell the truth, and for them to say goodbye. I only heard him wake Bella and her whimper his name before I blocked out their voices and thoughts. Instead, I focused on the rest of the thoughts around me. I let them crowd me in. Now that I was paying attention to them, they overwhelmed me just as they had when I first stepped into a busy crowd after my transformation.

I let the voices burble with none standing out. I let them fill my head like static, until one grew in volume and intention. I closed my eyes, willing it to go into obscurity.

"Edward." I opened my eyes when that one mental voice was matched with one said out loud. Standing in front of me was Alice.

"Alice," I said. "What are you doing here?"

"Well, until this morning, I hadn't had a vision that I would be needed, but I had a feeling I should come."

"A feeling?" I asked, my voice flat. I closed my eyes again.

"Yes, a feeling. Oh, Edward, can't you just be happy to see me? I've missed you so much!"

I opened my eyes again and looked at my sister's face. My eyes and face softened. I smiled at her. "It's good to see you, Alice. I've missed you as well."

She sniffed. "Yeah, right," but she leaned in and hugged me, not immediately letting go. I wrapped my arms around her as well, somehow gaining comfort from her affection and her presence.

After a few moments, she let go. She gave me a bright smile, ruffled my unruly hair and then frowned. "Tell me what's happened."

I filled her in on everything that had happened so far. As I told her the story, her eyes grew larger and larger, until they seemed to fill her face.

"Poor Bella . . . It's a good thing the rest are coming. We'll need them. Especially Jasper, Esme, and Carlisle."

I stood up from the low brick wall we had been sitting on. "What? Alice, you shouldn't have told them to come!"

"I didn't, but they're coming all the same. I assume they decided after they called you, when I saw the blood and Bella in labor."

I sat down again, realizing that I wouldn't be able to fight my family's coming.

"This is risky," I muttered.

"Yes, but it's going to be okay. We won't be going out much."

I would have argued this, but truthfully, my mind was on other things. I couldn't focus on the potential danger of exposure when there was the much more present and threatening danger of Bella, of how she would take Jacob's confession, of how she would deal with both of her losses, of how she would respond to me, of whether she would forgive me or not. Despite Jacob's reassurance, I didn't really know how Bella could forgive me.

I dropped my head into my hands and moaned. Alice patted my back. "Maybe I should have let Jasper come with me."

"No, I deserve this. It's entirely my fault, Alice. If I didn't exist . . ."

"No, Edward! Your existence is not in question. That was out of your control, not your fault. Your only fault was in leaving her."

I looked up at her, surprised at her harsh and chiding tone. Her eyes were flashing dangerously. I looked back down.

"You're right. I couldn't hate myself for what I did anymore than I do right now."

Alice patted my back again, but didn't say anything for a little while. I listened to her thoughts and then watched the brief visions that flashed in her mind. The first was Bella curled up on a large bed in the fetal position in a dark room. The second was of Bella's face, still sad, but also accepting and even stoic. The last was another glimpse of her face, still the same, and yet so different. She was happy in this picture, or least more than she had been. She was smiling and the smile reached her eyes, though I could still see a little bit of pain. The most startling thing though, was the color of her eyes. They were golden.

I gasped at this last picture. Bella was going to be one of us? How? Had it been her decision, or had I claimed her in an act of ultimate selfishness? Her eyes were golden. That meant she was still with my family, or at least a "vegetarian." I supposed she could live the same way we did away from us. How did she feel about me in this picture? I hadn't failed to notice that I was absent from all of Alice's visions.

I stood up and started pacing. Alice stood up as well. She put one hand on my shoulder, stopping my pacing. I looked at her with wild eyes.

"What does this mean?" I asked her.

"It means that she is going to be okay, Edward, and that is what is important."

I relaxed. "You're right. It's just— I can't take her life away from her, Alice. She's already lost everything else. How could I condemn her to an eternity in which she would suffer the whole time?"

"Esme isn't suffering. She lost a baby, too."

"You're right."

"And anyways, what makes you think that she is changed because of your decision? It could be because of her own decision, as it should be, as it should have been for all of us."

"You're right." It seemed like I was saying that a lot today.

"Edward, look at me."

I looked into her grave, dark golden eyes. "It's going to be okay." She paused, waiting for me to relax some more. She would be waiting a long time.

Alice seemed to get this. She sighed. "And now, you need to go hunting. How long has it been, Edward?"

I grimaced. "Three years, give or take a few days."

She shuddered, imagining the pain in my throat.

"It's not that bad anymore."

"Regardless, we're going hunting. Being vegan isn't an option anymore."

I didn't bother smiling at her joke. "Ali, I don't know if I can leave her."

"We'll just go to a park nearby. Not that the wildlife will be enough for you. You'll probably rid the whole park of animals and still be thirsty." She smirked.

Trying to make her happy, I joked, "Perhaps we could move onto the zoo next, then."

Alice was right. Once I started drinking blood again, the thirst reared up inside of me. I drank and drank, almost like I was a newborn again. Eventually, I felt like I would burst, and so, even though the fire still lingered inside my throat, I stopped. The burn wasn't so bad, though. I felt strength in my limbs, in my whole body. My mind seemed quicker, as well. These changes helped me ignore the ache.

When I was done, Alice looked at me in satisfaction. "You look much better. Now we just need to find you some new clothes."

I groaned, but let her drag me towards our old house. Alice would have rather clothed me in something newer, more up-to-date, but knowing how much I wanted to be back at the hospital, even if just sitting uselessly outside, she settled for the male haute couture of seven years ago.

Once I was deemed suitable, we went back to the same hospital wall we had been sitting on before. I listened for Jacob, Emily, and Bella just long enough to make sure they were still there.

Alice seemed to be doing the same thing in her own way. "They're going to keep her here until at least tomorrow evening, maybe the next morning. Oh, and our family is going to get here about 11:30 tonight."

I opened my mouth to complain, but Alice interrupted me. "You know, I think that you have forgotten that you are not the only Cullen who loves Bella. None of us have stopped caring about her."

"You sure are bossy today."

"Maybe I haven't forgiven you yet."

I bowed my head in shame, thinking how much pain I must have caused her.

"Jasper has been depressed the whole time you've been gone, Edward, and it kills me, and makes me down-right mad." She stomped her foot at this. It was such an Alice thing to do that it almost made me smile. "He still feels like it's all his fault."

I sighed. "It's not his fault. He shouldn't blame himself."

"I know. I've told him all that, but it doesn't do any good. I don't think he'll get over it until he sees Bella okay."

I conceded to her point even though I didn't think Jasper should be torturing himself. It wasn't his fault that he had such a violent and unrestrained past, that it tainted his current and relatively peaceful lifestyle.

We were silent for a few minutes, each of us thinking about our loves, when Alice took hold of my arm. "Someone is coming to see you— a woman."

I looked at her in confusion. Who would be coming to see me? I listened to the thoughts in the hospital. Emily Young was heading towards the front lobby, planning on talking to me. She was blocking any further thoughts, whether intentionally or not, I did not know. I assumed she was coming to give me some sort of update on Bella, and I was grateful for that.

I told Alice that it was Emily coming to see me and shared with her my impression that Emily trusted me, and what she had told me earlier when Jacob had arrived at the hospital.

"Wow, that's quite impressive."

"Yes."

Just then, Emily came walking out of the sliding doors. She looked around the parking lot, but when she saw Alice and me by the wall, she walked over to us.

"What does she want?" Alice asked me in a low whisper.

I shrugged so minutely that only Alice would have seen the movement.

When she approached us, her eyes flickered to Alice. I could hear her note Alice's golden eyes and then wonder who the petite woman was.

"Emily, this is my sister, Alice."

Alice didn't wait for further introductions. "Emily, how is she?"

Emily was momentarily shocked by the concern on Alice's face, but she looked to me and spoke.

"She's awake now. Jake is still with her. I think they are going to keep her for at least another 24 hours, maybe more."

"Has he told her yet?"

"No, and that's one of the reasons I wanted to speak with you. Jake is not sure when he's going to tell her. We're both worried about what she'll do and whom she can go to afterwards. I'd open my home to her, but with the pack always at my house and what with how similar Jake's imprinting is to Sam's, she may not want that."

Before I could speak, Alice responded to Emily's concerns. "Even if Bella doesn't want anything to do with Edward, we will help her. My family is coming to help. She can stay with us if she wants. She'll have access to a doctor, round the clock care, and all the aid our abilities. Besides all of that, our mother lost a child when she was human as well. She may be able to help Bella more than anyone."

This information, especially the last bit about Esme warmed Emily. "Your mother lost a child?" She asked.

"Yes, that's how she was changed, actually. After her baby's death, she had nothing left. Her husband had been horribly abusive. Esme didn't think she had anything left to live for, so she jumped off a cliff. When they took her to the morgue, Carlisle saw that she was still alive, but that she would die unless he did something. He saved her by changing her. It's actually quite similar to how most of my family members were created."

Emily thought about this for a moment. When she spoke again, it was with slowness and deliberation. "The pack underestimates you. None of you had much of a say about your change."

"You're right, none of us did, even the others of our kind who were not created by Carlisle. If Bella still wants to change, she may be the only vampire in existence to have made that choice."

"You think Bella is going to want to be changed?"

"I don't have perfect knowledge, but I have reason to believe that she will. She wanted to before we left. That's one of the reasons why Edward here left in the first place. He didn't want to change her."

I scowled, but remained silent.

Emily thought about this and then looked at me. She took in my agitation. She could tell that I was uncomfortable with the whole topic. "Don't you think she has the right to make her own choice? If your change was similar to your mother's, then you know what it is like to have your choices taken away from you. We in the wolf pack know what it is like as well. Choices should be respected wherever they are granted."

"This is all hypothetical at this point. Bella may not be able to stand the sight of me. What makes you think she'd be able to bear me for eternity?"

Emily took this as seriously as I meant it. "She still loves you. She may not know it, but I think she does somehow, somewhere."

I felt a shiver flash down my spine. "What makes you say that?"

"Well, for one, she always defends you, even as the years passed and she became an unofficial member of the pack like me. She has defended all of your family, but you especially. She never lets Jacob speak harshly of you. Also, I know from experience how it is possible to love more than one person at a time."

As she made this last statement, I saw a flicker of hurt in her eyes. She, Jacob, and a girl named Leah knew what it was like to love and be loved by someone whose love was fractured into two pieces. Now there was a chance that I, too, would learn how that felt. I didn't know how to respond to all of this. I felt for Emily, Jacob, and the girl Leah's pain, but I didn't care for myself. I would take that fractured love; I would take as much of Bella as she chose to give me and be grateful, just like Emily and Jacob had done, Emily with her Sam and Jacob with Bella in the earlier days of their relationship, and maybe even now. Could it really be possible that Bella still loved me? Did I dare to hope?

No, I would not dwell on that possibility.

Alice spoke again. "Have they spoken about funeral arrangements?"

"No, they haven't yet, but I'm not sure what they'll do. They don't really have the money for that. The pack wants to pool together their resources to help, but most of the guys don't even have jobs."

"We'll take care of it," I said.

Emily regarded me. "I'm not sure that's right. I don't think Jake, Bella, or any of the pack would be very happy about it."

"We'll think of something so that nobody feels uncomfortable with it. Please don't tell them, though. We don't want to cause any trouble."

Emily laughed at this. And yet, you still do, she thought. "Well, alright. I think I should get back in. I only have one more thing I should say. If Bella wants to stay with you, I advise you to not stay in Forks for very long. Notwithstanding all that Bella has been through and her right to choose for herself, I'm not sure the pack will agree with her being changed. Jake, if he is reasonable about the whole thing, or I will contact you so that you'll know whether or not you are free to come and go in the area. That's all. Goodbye for now."

Both Alice and I nodded and Emily walked back into the hospital.

"I like her," Alice said.

"Yes."

"So, what are we going to do about the funeral?"

"I had an idea while you were telling her about Esme. What if we created a fund for needy families who have lost a child in Esme's name, or at least under her maiden name? We could contact the hospital and let them know that the fund is available for immediate submissions. All that would be required would be a written history of the loss and family information. All the information would then be submitted to 'the Board,' being us, and we would review the cases."

"So, we would do this for other families as well?"

"Sure, we could just have a limit. When that is met, the fund runs out and the hospital will be informed. We could tell them from the outset that the fund is limited. It would be suspicious if we only created the fund for one family."

"Okay, I actually really like this idea. Esme will like it as well."

"Of course she will."

"What will we call it?"

"How about the E. Platt Foundation For Families in Crisis?"

"Okay. Well, let's get started."

Alice and I quickly tabulated everything we needed to do in order to create the fund as soon as possible. We would need to enlist the help of our family's financial representatives and our fraudulent, though effective, lawyer, J. Jenks, or as he is known in more legitimate circles, Jason Scott. We had to tell each of them the gist of our situation, that everything needed to be completed as soon as possible; that there was already a situation that needed to be met, but that it could only be done under the guise of the foundation, due to its sensitive nature. We told them that we would start the process now, but would be waiting on the completion of their tasks within 24 hours. For both groups, we offered substantial compensation (and threats, in the case of Mr. Jenks) if they completed the tasks efficiently and satisfactorily.

We also had to contact the appropriate hospital personnel to inform them of the fund and tell them that submissions were being taken now, and that they should send a memo to the hospital social workers. We would send them an application and a list of requirements immediately.

Lastly, we had to tell Emily what we had done and get her to talk to the Labor and Delivery social worker in the morning to see if there was any aid Bella and Jacob could apply for. Hopefully, that social worker would have read the memo.

We went back to the house to create the documents for the hospital, calling Emily as we drove. She thought that the plan might just work and she was grateful that we were doing so much. She agreed to hunt down the social worker as soon as the morning shift started. We told her that if the plan didn't fall together in time, we would compensate any debts accrued for the funeral through the foundation.

When everything was done, we went back to the hospital and waited.