Chapter 4- Captain Jim's Supper Club

I was busier than I ever had been since Jim's death march of psych evals for the brass. I was so busy, in fact, for the first time I had to co-opt one of McCoy's techs as a secretary to actually schedule and manage my appointments. The complaints all congealed around two basic issues: acute adjustment disorders and mediating tiffs between parties around who got the bed vs. the floor and bathroom habits. It was amazing how territorial humans were and how quickly they could forget basic social skills. It was like watching 'Lord of the Flies' in action- the quickness with which the social fabric of the ship disintegrated was frightening.

The ship was absolutely swarming with Klingons, but thankfully the smell was so overwhelming and constant that after awhile I didn't even notice. I greeted them when I passed them in the hall, but all I ever got was a sideways glance and a dismissive growl with bared teeth. I gave up after awhile until I remembered the unusual greeting that nearly scared me to death the first time I saw them on the view screen on the bridge. "Die quickly and decay." I said to a particularly mean looking Klingon female as we stood in the lift. She turned to me and nodded as she struck her chest with a closed fist. I returned my gaze forward with a small, victorious smile.

McCoy was busy most the day knee deep in Klingons in the sickbay. They were just about as resistant to treatment as Jim, but McCoy couldn't deal with them as he would have the stubborn Captain. At first he tried to be diplomatic, but in the end he resorted to his default setting of irascibility. This nearly led to outright warfare until Uhura saved the day by locating the Klingon Captain and persuaded him to order compliance from his people using his own language. This was but one of the many fires she put out all over the ship when Klingon custom clashed with Federation culture.

Jim and Spock were tied up escorting the Klingon Captain and his commanders around the ship on a show and tell on behalf of the Federation. It was a sales pitch of sorts, but it was required by Starfleet in order to gain as many allies as possible. It made sense, but it didn't make the task any easier for them especially since Jim had a harder time masking his nausea than did Spock. The bridge was quiet with only Chekov to man the stations and Sulu in command for perhaps the longest stretch of time to date. Not that he would ever complain, he rather enjoyed sitting in the Captain's chair.

I was off the hook so to speak because according to my studies, if Klingons would rather die than receive medical care, there was no way they were going to tolerate speaking of feelings or admitting to fear or anything but absolute murderous rage- which was perfectly acceptable to them. It was just as well, I had a full dance card with the crew as it was and I had been running from one room to the next since my shift started. At 18:25 I got a message from the tech informing me that I should report to the Captain's quarters. It wasn't marked urgent and I still had 4 appointments, so I acknowledged it and tried to ignore the increasingly loud rumbling in my gut. I had showed up for lunch as I promised Scotty I would, but 10 forward was full of Klingons and I lost my appetite. Judging by the paucity of Starfleet uniforms present in the room, so had most of the staff.

When I finally made it to Jim's at 19:17, I could hear the noise of several voices in the hall and the sound of big band music. It sounded like a 1920's speakeasy that was hopping. He opened the door with a wide smile and exclaimed, "Doc! Glad you could make it. Better late than never. C'mon in and join us!" I entered the room and he continued. "I decided to host a little get together for the bridge crew."

"Bullshit." McCoy grumbled with a mouth full of steak. "It was my idea. If we didn't do something the crew would starve by the time the week was out. Nobody could eat when the cafeteria smelled worse than the food."

"Also his idea." He mumbled pointing to the ceiling to indicate the choice of music. It was kind of charming, I thought. The whole thing reminded me of supper clubs where food and drink were served among friends until the wee hours of the morning.

"Pull up a seat." Uhura smiled pointing at an empty seat at the table with McCoy, Spock, and Jim. Scotty returned from the replicator and took a seat next to her on the side of Jim's bed. Chekov sat on the end sharing the desk with Sulu who sat in the chair with a satisfied smile. It looked like most had finished eating and had moved on to after dinner drinks, but I was so hungry I knew alcohol in a pressurized cabin on an empty stomach was probably not the best idea. I made some macaroni and cheese and took my seat.

McCoy looked at the gooey yellow blob on my plate in amusement. "After the kind of day I had, I need some good old fashioned comfort food." I explained.

He shrugged and replied, "Have at it, but I hear you. My day wasn't exactly a bed of roses. Didn't smell like it either."

"Could've been a lot worse." Uhura chuckled. "Nice touch in threatening a member of a culture that never backs down from a challenge. You are lucky he didn't cut your throat when you told him to get up on the table or you would make him. Never mind he was easily twice your size."

"Size don't matter." McCoy growled. "A well placed hypo injection is the great equalizer. I once had a 7 foot tall Gorn with a nasty case of parasites. He fought, but in the end I won. I rode on his back while he thrashed and spun around the room trying to get me off. It was like getting a piggyback ride on a mini-Godzilla."

Jim looked over at his friend with an incredulous smirk as he shook his head slowly. "You are an insufferable bastard sometimes, Bones."

"Yup." He agreed wiping his mouth and tossing his napkin in his plate. "I have a hypo with your name all over it. Wanna go for a ride?"

"You know, Bones, if you were one of the 7 deadly sins I would say you were wrath." He laughed.

"Here here!" Scotty agreed.

"Better than lust." McCoy shot back with a playful smirk. The room exploded in cat calls and whistles.

Jim's smile only widened. He knew he been had. He turned to me and asked, "What about you, Collins? What would you be?"

"Sure as hell ain't sloth." McCoy interjected with a squint.

"Do I have to pick just one?" I joked.

"There it is! Greed!" Sulu smiled.

"I vote pride for Uhura and gluttony for Scotty. Nobody can put away hooch like he does." Jim observed.

"Aye. I do love me drink." Scotty sighed. Uhura gave her Captain a bitingly sarcastic smile for his assessment. As much as I considered her a friend, I couldn't disagree with Jim. She was self-assured to say the least.

"I say Chekov as greed as well. The kid has no stopping sense at poker. He doesn't quit until he even owns the lint in your pocket." Sulu chuckled. If what he told me about his propensity for card counting was correct, I had no doubt that he would use it to amass a small fortune.

"Vhat about you?" Pavel asked a little offended. "I say sloth. Not because you are lazy, but you don't use all your talents and that is just as much a sin."

"Good one, Pavel. Russian Orthodox?" I guessed.

"The strictest." He said with pride and everyone in the room laughed. At least he didn't claim that Russians had invented Catholicism as they supposedly did everything else. Smallpox vaccine? Russians did it. The internet? The Russians. Air? Russians invented that too.

"What about you, Spock?" Jim asked with a smile. "Which of the 7 deadly are you?"

Spock sat stiffly and replied, "I do not understand what you are asking, Jim. I am not guilty of any of the things you have mentioned. Even if I were, I fail to see how they could lead to one's demise."

McCoy sighed and rolled his eyes. "Christ, Jim. You should know better than to ask him that." He looked across the table at Spock and added, "I will say that you inhumanly don't show most of them. You are not lustful, greedy, lazy, gluttonous, envious, or wrathful. But you are most certainly prideful. I have never seen a more smug bastard than you. You have that one in spades."

"Doctor, I do not consider myself better than you as an individual. There is, however, no denying that I do surpass your skills in several areas and I do not see how ignoring this fact makes me guilty of anything, let alone place a mark on my soul that would damn it to your Hell." He replied calmly.

"I am already in my Hell and you, damn green blooded hobgoblin, are it." McCoy mumbled getting up to get a shot of whiskey. Spock blinked slowly as he pondered McCoy's insult.

"Who wants to dance?" Uhura asked pulling Scotty to his feet.

"Are you kidding?" Jim scoffed. "I can't dance to this shit."

"You have no appreciation for good music or history, Jim." I scolded. "This era was the birth of the most difficult style of dance: swing. It takes a lot of energy and skill to throw your partner around double time without killing them."

He looked up at the ceiling where the silky smooth voice of Doris Day slowly sang 'Sentimental Journey' accented by a strong brass section of horns floated down. The recording had a slightly muffled, scratchy tone to it as though it were being played on an old Victrola, making it all the more wonderful to my ears. If I closed my eyes, I could see the crew in period khaki military uniforms and it made me smile.

"Wanna show Jim how it's done?" McCoy's voice drifted across the table. I was up for the challenge, so we joined Scotty and Uhura twirling in slow circles between the table and bed. We danced close together and whispered small apologies in each other's ears when we accidently stepped one another's feet. The music was slow and he was warm, making me feel as though I were floating. McCoy was just a bit taller than I, so I had a clear view of his neck and the carotid artery that thumped as though his heart were racing despite the slow pace. Once when Uhura and I were facing each other in a spin, she gave me a small wink and I tried not to laugh.

"That's great, guys." Jim groused from the table. "There are only two women and six dudes. Are we at least going to take turns?" Uhura and I obliged and danced with the others as well. Spock, as usual, refused to participate so that was one less we had to fit in. Both Jim and Sulu were smooth, but it took a little coaching to get Pavel to relax. In the end, the first dance was the best and I found myself saddened when Jim called it a night before we could have a second go. I had fun with the others, but none of them felt the way McCoy did in that small space that we called our own for the time we had.