Chapter two

A/N when you see something like this [Hello] that means someone is talking in a different language.

It was a few months after Church and the Tex incident. Vulcan was standing at post watching out for any Reds who come too close to the base, but she was more interested in the Caboose problem, She watched and listen while Tucker bitch how Caboose was scary and things. She then saw the purple armor guy and spoke. "Halt."

"Oh sorry I have to talk to Tucker, command sent me."

"Oh you're with HR. Right that way." Vulcan said pointing to the aquagreen trooper." The man in purple armor then kept walking towards Tucker.

"HR?" Doc said walking away from Vulcan. Vulcan couldn't help but smile that Tucker was finally in trouble she barely listen to the purple guy or anyone else till he said he was a medic. "I received your call for a medic."

"Medic, ow great." Moaned Vulcan. "Man this guy was slow." Vulcan said under her breath. "Where was he when I broke my hand five months ago." She then joined up with the rest of her squad.

"Oh sorry for your loss."

"Oh thanks man it was tough but well what are you going to do?" sighed Church.

"We didn't like her very much, she was mean to other people." said Caboose.

"Who's in the other grave?"

"That would be Church." said Vulcan.

"Yeah thats me. I'm in that grave."

"Of course." The medic soon took a could steps back.

"See, he got killed by this uh crazy run away tank."

"Or the dipshit driving it." Vulcan said aloud.

"Oh yeah and then he became this really mean ghost and took over a mexican robots body and then we had to spray paint him blue and now he's alive again."

"So that's it." said Vulcan.

"Don't forget it took six weeks to get his spanish setting turned off." Church turned around and spoke some spanish. "What did he say Vulcan?"

"Something moron and off, that's all I got."

"Wait so no one is hurt?"

"Nope. We're all fine right now."

Meanwhile at redbase Rogers was loading his gun while Sarge told them of his plan to exterminate the blues. "So we'll be doing operation full attack. While Grif carries the extra ammo we'll be shooting at the blues. Any questions. Yes Rogers."

"How long did it take for you to come up with this plan?"

"Two days, now let's load up soldiers."

Back at the blues. "I'm a pacifist."

"Your a thing babies suck on?"

"No dude, that's a pedophile."

"Tucker I think he means a pacifier."

"Oh, yeah right. I totally was thinking of something else."

"Gross dude, just gross." said a disgusted Vulcan. Vulcan turned her head to see a green thing glowing right in her face. "Wow." she said stepping back.

"Don't worry this thing says everyone checks out well except you Miss, it says you have heightened aggression. Nothing thing to worry about though." Just then out of nowhere the reds began to attack. Vulcan took cover behind some rocks and fired a couple of shots at their sergeant. Soon Church and Tucker followed her to the rock.

"Alright Vulcan you say here and shoot at them since you have the best aim while I'll come up with a plan."

"Yeah I know!" she yelled firing her rifle.

Back with reds Rogers was firing his smg at the lone blue and yelling at him. "Take it bitch." He continued to fire his smg, until it started to click."Damn out of ammo." He then ran up towards Grif. "Grif I need ammo."

"Like I told Simmons I don't have any extra."

"Damn it Grif." yelled Rogers.

Back with the Blues. "Well they stopped firing that's a good sign, and church stop taking shot at Caboose."

"Yeah, yeah anyways they probably ran out of ammo."

"Hey Blues. We are giving you a chance to surrender."

"Yep they're out of bullets." said Vulcan.

"What are your terms?"

"What?" She then took aim at the Sarge but when Church said they give them doc she holstered her weapon. She then walked over to see Caboose limping and began to chuckle but stopped when she learned Church shot off one of Caboose's toe.

Back with the reds Rogers was listening to the exchange of words between Sarge and the blue leader. He got confused when they said they wanted something, but the demand they made interested him so he ready his camera, after two hours the show had finally began, Grif then made an ass of himself. "Hello next year's christmas card and youtube sensation."

"Hey. Remember to send me that to me alright?" said a laughing Simmons.

"Alright just tell me your e-mail." When they got the medic they began to walk back to red base.

"Grif you're in charge of watching the prisoner." said Sarge.

"Aw why me?"

"Because you're nacy no bullets." They then got back to red base when Grif was talking to Doc. Rogers was seating in shotgun with his feet up. Like ussualy Grif was fight with Simmons, but he just ignored them.

Back at blue base Vulcan was with Church and Tucker she was quiet till Tucker brought up an interesting point. "Hey Church if you body is the red team's old droid, and droids usually fix stuff. Can't you just activated your repair sequence and fix Sheila?"

"Hey that's actually a great plan. I can't believe Tucker thought of it first." said Vulcan.

"Hey."

"Well, yeah it's a worth a shot I stand back."

"Anything?" asked Vulcan and Tucker.

"It's not as easy as you'd think it would be."

"Maybe there's a button on you somewhere." suggested Tucker.

"See what you can find." Vulcan then went behind Church to look for a button, but after a minute Tucker had found something.

"What is it, a button?" asked Vulcan.

"No, it's more like a switch."

"Well give it a flip."

"I don't want to flip it."

"What's the problem?" asked Church.

"Oh you've go messing with him right." Vulcan said under her breath. She went to the front and frowned when she saw where it it was.

"Why doesn't Vulcan flip it."

"No and suggest it again and I'll report you to HR."

"Bite me!"

"I could just spit in your food and put extra hot sauce since I'm also the cook." she said with a certain toxicity in her voice.

"You wouldn't." Only if Tucker could see my devilish grin, Vulcan thought.

"Hey guys." Church said butting in one of you has to flip it. "One of you are going to have to flip it."

"Hows about Caboose."

"Ow he's so stupid I don't even know if he knows how to operate a switch." said Church.

"Fine I'll do." whinned Tucker, she watched him struggle trying to get the switch to move.

"Hey Tucker how's turning chicka bow wow" Vulcan laughed.

"Oh come on!" sighed Tucker. But he was blocked out by the sound of Church and Vulcan laughing. Then came a constant beeping.

"What the?" said Vulcan

Back at red base Sarge was asking for ideas what to do with the prisoner. "Here's an idea tie him up." yelled Rogers.

"We tried that once." said Sarge.

"You had Grif tie the knot, remember?" Sarge then sat quiet for a second before talking again. "I gue-" The warthog activated suddenly activated and spoke. Roges then quickly jumped out, and was ready to run since someone was messing with the warthog, and he didn't want to be blown up or any of the other bad luck the warthog has had.

Back at blue base Church was addressing the beeping noise. Tucker said something and worried her for a sec but when he told them he was trying to be helpful she just rolled his eyes. "All I hear is that voice, you know telling us to kill all of our friends before they have a chance to kill us." After Caboose finished everyone stared at him for a second and Vulcan took a couple steps away from him. She just stood there ignoring the conversation the guys and just focus the fact that she has a psychopath in their ranks.

"Note to self lock my door at night and don't let Caboose help with dinner." She then calmed down and returned to the conversation with her eyes on Caboose for insurance. Caboose was trying to help but he broke the switch instead and she laughed,. Tucker then followed the wires and yanked it out and the beeping stopped. Church was happy till he realize he couldn't move his legs.

Five minutes earlier at redbase the warthog began to drive all by itself, it crashed into the prisoner landing him in the driver seat. "Damn it." Rogers said dodging the warthog. It began to drive away from redbase but then turned around. It began to speak, Rogers sighed as he thought why Sarge had even added so many useless do hickeys.

"Target red one." It was pointed at the fire-red trooper but he ran inside and it target the Sarge. He came outside after he heard a loud thud, when he saw what was happening he got even more worried and then the turret activated He ran towards it to stop it while Sarge was saying his last words, but the turret wouldn't stop or budge.

"Rogers."

"Yes sir."

"I just want to say I liked you more than Grif."

"I know sir. I know." As if a miracle the turret stopped. He then fixed his gun on the prisoner. "Move the jeep. Slowly."

"Alright, alright." said Doc pulling it forward."Sorry wrong gear." He tried again and crushed Sarge even more. "Sorry."

"Get out!" yelled the whole squad in unison.

Now, at blue base Vulcan was on guard duty while Tucker tried to fix up Church's body. When she catch first glimpse of the reds she bolted up stairs. "Church we got a problem." she yelled.

"It can wait."

"Do you feel that?"

"No."

"Church it's the-."

"Hey blues we're here to- what the hell are you guys doing?" yelled Simmons.

"Oh crap the reds are here."

"What? Vulcan why didn't you tell me?"

"Go to hell." she said giving them the middle finger.

"What were you doing down there?" asked Grif.

" are you guys talking about." said a nervous Tucker.

"We were just playing a game."

"Shut up Caboose." yelled Vulcan.

"What do you want reds get out of here. Or we'll start shooting at'cha."

"Oh yeah, you care to make that threat to my face."

"Uh no."

"But I will." Vulcan said firing her assault rifle at Grif. He jumped back missing the bullets by a few feet.

"Ha you missed me bitch."

"Did I."

"Did you?" whispered Tucker.

"Oh yeah I was aiming for his balls." she whispered back.

"Woa,woa woa guys, we didn't come here to fight." Simmons said raising his hands."We just came to give back the prisoner."

"Give him back? You can give him back you took him. Deals a deals."

"He's right, you know." yelled Vulcan.

"Yeah well forget it, we don't want him."

"Well sorry you can't have another prisoner, that was our last one."

"Hey dude what is your problem?"

"Didn't your ma'ma tell you it impolite to not look at someone when you're talking to them." said Simmons.

"He's shy." yelled Caboose. Vulcan couldn't help but snicker at that where Church gave her a glare and spoke.

"Look we don't want him and we don't care what you do with him, and if you don't mind we'd appreciate it if you leave us alone. We're in the middle of something private over here."

"Now get." yelled Vulcan raising her gun.

"Fine, but don't come asking for him back later."

"We won't." Yelled Tucker. The red then left.

"Whats going on? Are they there, did they leave? Hey some tell me what's happening."

"Calm down Church they're gone as far I can see. The only danger here is Caboose." said Vulcan in a calm tone.

"I could check if I had the sniper rifle."

"Ah Tucker look behind you." Vulcan said getting out the way.

"Motherfucker!" said Tucker.

"Oh Church, Church. Ok, I see , uh the two red ones are walking away, but the purple one is." Just then Caboose voice change to his evil tone. "I think he is going to attack."

"Purple? Wait a minute, the purple guy's that worthless medic."

"He not going to attack. He's a pussy fest."

"Yeah Tucker's right."

"It's pacifist."

"Whatever." Tucker said rolling his eyes. "Let's tie him up and roll him through the teleporter."

"Yeah that sounds like fun."

"Wait a second, wait a second. Think about for a minute. Why would the reds leave him out thereby himself? This has to be some kind of trick."

"I'll bet they've used some kind of brainwashing technique on him. They're probably planning to have him do all their dirty plans and also the schemes."

"Caboose that is ridicules." sighed Tucker.

"It is? Or is it so ridiculous it's the most ridiculously perfect idea that you've never thought of?"

"Caboose get the sniper rifle out of Tucker face before he becomes your next team kill."

"Are you part of their schemes." Caboose said pointing the rifle into Vulcan face.

"Help me!" whimpered Vulcan.

"Well just keep your eye on him. We'll it's a trick if he tries to get into our base." Caboose then put down the rifle and Vulcan let out a huge sigh of relief.

"Hey do you think I could come hang out at your base for a while." said Doc.

"I knew it all going to die. Starting with you." Caboose said looking at Tucker,

"Sorry we're kind of busy here. So go away or something."

"Normally I wouldn't impose. It's just that I don't know the neighborhood too well and-"

"Listen Doc you're not fooling anyone with the innocent victim routine."

"Hey I can help, I know more than just medicine. I'm trained in psychology too. Maybe I could help you with your problem facing people."

"Just get out of here and tell your buddies in the red that their little plan failed." yelled Church.

Back at the reds Roger was on guard duty looking out for any blues. Rogers and saw Grif and Simmons approaching. "Hey guys did you ditch Doc?"

"Oh yeah but the Blues didn't want him." said Grif.

"I wonder why." Rodger said in a sarcastic tone. "Alright better head up topside." Grif and Simmons went up top and Rogers just stayed down to keep a look out for the blues.

Back at the blue base Church was addressing the legs situation. "All right Tucker what the hell are we going to do man? I got to get my legs working here."

"I don't know, but I can't just keep pulling wires down there. I think we should call in a professional, maybe someone who can fix Shelia too." Vulcan could probably get the tracks moving on Sheila, she took a mechanic seminar back at boot camp. She also slept through half it.

"Ok great the only two people who can do that are senior el roboto and Tex."

"Tex can be kind of hard to work with." said Caboose.

"No shit Sherlock." said Vulcan.

"Dead people can be hard to work with."

"Quite frankly, Tucker find your attitude offensive." Church said in a ultra offended tone

"Suck it up cupcake."

"Shut it Emma." Vulcan let out a low growl, she had several rules and one of them was never, ever call her first name.

"What about that Lopez person, is he available?" suggested Caboose.

"No I'm in his body remember."

"Well why don't you just leave his body and then Tucker, Vulcan and I will make him fix you and my girlfriend."

"Girlfriend?" said shook her head and went back to the topic at hand. "Either way is the best only option we have Church."

"I'm confused that seems like a good idea." said Tucker.

"I know." said Church.

"But Caboose said it."

"I know." Just then Tucker punched Church in the face.

"What the hell Tucker." Exclaimed Vulcan in shock.

"Sorry, I thought I was dreaming."

"Tucker when you think you're dreaming you don't punch somebody else. You get somebody else to pinch you."

"Dude it doesn't matter what kind of dream I'm having I'm not going to ask you to pinch me. Maybe Vulcan." She kneed him in the gut and Church gave her a nod of approval and turned his attention to Tucker.

"If you dented my forehead Tucker I'm going to be pissed." Tucker rolled his eyes and Church began to talk again. "Alright let's try this I'll jump out of Lopez's body real quick. You three watch him make sure he doesn't try anything got it?"

"Yes sir." said Vulcan.

"Alright here goes nothing." Church then exited Lopez's body and faded to nothing.

"You know I have to hand it to you Caboose finally came up with a good idea."

"Yeah for you I'll bake you some cookies."

"Aw thanks guys, it was nothing."

"No, no you really contributed and that what it's all about."

"Yeah Tuckers right."

"Thank you Vulcan." said Tucker.

"Yeah back in the spirit world. Man I forgot how good this feels Kind of loose-goose. Hey what did you guys do with my body." Vulcan then turned around to see the body gone. She could see it running but she she was lucky he would see him.

"Um um Caboose threw it into the teleporter. Yeah that's what happened."

"So that's not my body running away right this moment." CHurch said crossing his arms.

"We're in trouble aren't we?"

"Yes ma'am." said Church. Caboose just then began to shoot at Lopez's body.

"Whoa man you're going to damage my body. Tucker you guys go through the teleporter and cut him off. I'll meet you guys out there." Church then vanished.

"There's no way I'm going through the teleporter again I still got this tingle in the back of- look dude I'm just not going back through the teleporter, ok."

"Come on you pussy, Church said we have to go through it."

"Yeah well, Church didn't think of this." After finishing his sentence Tucker threw a grenade through the teleporter.

"My god you are a moron." she said in the sassiest voice she could do.

"Bite me."

"That's it extra hot sauce."

"Lets just go." sighed Tucker as he ran towards Church's position Vulcan followed Tucker halfway across the cannoy. As they got closer Vulcan could see a small explosion.

Meanwhile at red base Rogers was up top talking to sarge when he heard a explosion. "What was that?" Rogers asked Grif. Grif looked down the scope of the sniper rifle and spoke

"Sir I think we're under attack."

"I'll go get the extra rounds this time." Rogers went down to the armor and when he got back up top Sarge, Simmons and the warthog were gone. He went back to the armory and put back the ammo case.

Back with the Blues Vulcan was still running until they came across Lopez. "[Got you know bitch, you will pencil the day you messed with dog team.]

"What did you say?" whispered Caboose.

"Basically that he shouldn't have messed with blue team."

"[Damn these blue bastards. They are as stupid as they look.]"

"Shut up dick."

"[You may have won this round,but your cruel reign of tyranny will be short lived. The red people will be avenged.]"

"God, your monolog is boring." sighed Vulcan.

"We need you to fix our tank."

"[Never will I work for the enemy. May a pox be upon your soul and your house. Long have my people suffered, but very soon we will see the coming of a new day.]"

"What is he saying Vulcan?"asked Tucker.

"Something bout a revolution and cursing our soul to the entirely depths of hell."

"Maybe he's talking about a robot revolution." said Caboose.

"Shut up." Tucker and Vulcan said in unison.

"Um guys."

"shut up."

"Um guys I think we should begin in the running now." Caboose said pointing to a warthog.

"Ow crap." Vulcan left her two comrades in the dust just before jeep can racing towards them. Once she saw that the jeep had blown up she casually walked back towards the guys.

"Alright let's show him to the tank." Once they got there Church told Lopez what to do.

Back at red base Rogers exited the base to see the warthog in ruin again. He sighed and asked what happened this time. "Well son it just blew up."

"That's great." After a few minutes the squad came down and Grif got up top of the warthog and looked through the scope.

"Aw crap they got a guy fixing their tank."

"Well we're boned." said Rogers.

"Impossible, our intelligence clear states-."

"We have intelligence?"

"I know it surprised me too." Chuckled Rodgers.

"That the only soldiers in this canyon with mechanical training are that dead freelancer and Lopez. Oh wait a minute."

"Sarge are you thinking what I'm thinking? Lopez runs away , the jeep starts driving itself and suddenly there's a new guy on the blue team."

"Yes Simmons I am. Quite obviously the blue team has constructed some kind of diabolical mind control ray beam that they used on Lopez and now he has to do their evil blue bidding."

"Or since he's a robot maybe they just reprogrammed him."

"Or maybe the the blue guy that got killed by the tank came back as a ghost and now he's possessing Lopez's body and that could also explain why Sarge went nuts when he had the prisoner. The blue ghost probly possed him too and the jeep going nuts was probably a weird set of coincidences while the guy learned how to use Lopez's body." Everyone stared at Donut for a minute till Roger spoke up.

"Donut are you on drugs?"

"No why?"

"I think I like the ray beam idea better." said Simmons.

"Yeah rookie your idea sounds little dumb." said Grif.

Back at blue base Vulcan watch Lopez fix the tank while Caboose was spouting nonsense and jumping up and down like a five year old needing to pee. "Hurry, hurry fix the tank so I can say hello to Shellia. And start killing everyone." Vulcan let out a sigh and pulled out a spray body and squirted Caboose.

"Bad Caboose bad." All Caboose did was let out hiss. Just then the tank came back online and spoke.

"Sheila you're fixed, you're fixed."

"Hello private Caboose it is good to see you again thank you for repairing me."

"This is just sad and creepy right?" Vulcan whispered to Church.

"Very." Church whispered back. He then left to get back his body. But then he reappeared and Tex's voice boomed. All Vulcan could do was swallow a nervous lump. Church and Tex began to be at each other's throats. After they stopped arguing Tex began to speak.

"After I became a ghost I began to watch you guys a lot." After hearing that Vulcan did realize that did explain why she felt someone was always watching her when she was alone. "Anyway I've notice a change in one of your guys Caboose."

"Like what puberty?" said Vulcan

"This isn't a joke. You haven't notice that he's become increasingly aggressive latey."

"We have." Tucker said.

"Yeah about the time you died." said Vulcan. Tex then began to tell then how it happened and Vulcan listened closely to the tale. She thought to herself this actually explains a lot.

Back at red base Sarge called everyone to a staff meeting. Ladies is has come to my attention that we are in need of a new robot type person, who here wants to volunteer."

"So are we going to command for a new robot kit?" asked Rogers.

"Not exactly. Quite obviously we are without we are without a robot or any other type of recruit with mechanical training or dexterity. Therefore the only solution is to turn one of you into a robot and or freaky cyborg thing."

"Really!" yelled Rogers.

"I'm told the cyborg operation is a relatively simply procedure, really." The men began to talk amongst themselves and voiced their concerns to one and another.

"He gonna to kills us all." said Rogers.

"Whoever gets the operation is going to look like a mutant I bet." said Grif.

"I still vote for Simmons." said Donut.

"Shut up Donut." said a nervous Simmons.

"Where the mostly useless guts and slimy goo of the human body are replaced with the no doubt superior guts and oily goo of a robot body."

"Sir."

"Yes Rogers."

"A friend of mine told me about this program where they teach common field grunts about vehicle maintenance. Wouldn't it be easier to send one if not all of us, to the program."

"What friend? You rarely ever talk to us." said Grif.

"A friend from basic. I keep in touch over the red army web page."

"Or we don't do this." said Simmons.

"Sorry fellas but I like the removing the gut thing better so I'll stick with that."

"I hate to agree with the kissass over here. But wouldn't it be better if we get command to send us another perfectly good brand new robot instead." said Grif.

"Negative meat sack, another new robot could be reprogrammed by our enemies just as easily as Lopez. We need someone we can trust." Roger couldn't help but turn his head towards Simmons. "Or someone whose mental capacity is so unbelievably tiny that he could never be turned against us." And as if clockwork Rogers turned his head to Donut.

"Hey pink suit guys, it's somebody else turn in the barrel."

"Holy shit, you amited it's pink." laughed Rogers.

"God damn it."

"Then again maybe we just stick with the trustworthy thing."

Back at Blue base Tex was killing time by telling a very funny story. "Alright so there we were going into highschool and I see this huge guy, who was a hunk by the way, sneak up behind this scrawny kid who I knew because we lived on the same block. Anyways this guy sneaks up behind Church and then pulls down his pants. Everyone was laughing and so was I, but then I start to feel sorry for this kid so I give him a hug but unknown to him I take take his keys from his back pocket and leave without him knowing a thing. I go to the parking lot find his car and take it for joyriding for what ten minutes when I get back there he was with a camera in hand and a phone in the other and since we were in a public place so I couldn't beat him up so he says. I promise I won't call the cops for one thing and thing only. You, me date after school. I agree, after school we go to this fast food place and talk after we're done we walk by and alleyway and I punch him in the gut take the camera and book it. And that was our first date." Vulcan and Tucker couldn't help but laugh at her story.

"Well Tex that was a great story. I especially like the part about Church getting pants in High School."

"Me too."

"I found that part to be entirely out of context." said Church.

"But I don't get how we're suppose to stop the AI."

"I don't remember much from the implantation process. I do remember that the AI can be transmitted from host to host by way of the helmet radio. Before I learned anything else, the AI took over and escaped. IF we can kill the AI and not give it a place to jump, we'll beat."

"Sounds like a plan Stan." said Vulcan.

"Don't ever say that again." hiss Tex.

"Alright Tex and I will possess Caboose then. Vulcan, Tucker we need you to work on the Reds get them to turn off their helmet radios so O'malley won't have anywhere to go once we get him out of there." said Church.

"Right." Tex said in agreement.

"How are we supposed to do that?" asked Vulcan.

"I don't know come up with a plan." added Church.

"Come on you know how I feel about plans." said Tucker.

"You're not going to have much time when we get in their, so move fast."

"Oh I see you have no Idea what idea what we should do or how we should do it. But whatever I do I should do it fast."

"Tucker this is no time to be acting all fussy. But you do make a good point."

"Try shipping your pargin, think outside the box." This then gave Vulcan an Idea she remember when Tucker had a phase where he'd play non stop punk rock but since they had no cd player he had to play it over the blue team radio. It was super annoying so she and Church turned off radios. Next thing she knew Church and Tex were gone and Caboose was spouting nonsense.

"Hey Lopez hows your singing."When Lopez began to sing and she wanted to turn off her own ears. "Alright that's enough."

"What are you doing?" asked Tucker.

"I just got ourselves a plan."

"What is it."

"We're going to patch Lopez into the red network and let him sing till they turn off their radios."

"[That might actually might.]" said Lopez.

"What did he say?" asked Tucker.

"Basically, he said that I was right."

"Alright fine let's load up." Tucker got into the drive seat and Vulcan sat down on the tank holding onto a handle bar.

"Hey Tuck do you know how to drive the tank."

"I took a class online." He then began to drive forward and Vulcan held on for dear life.

Ten minutes early at Red base Rogers was atop of red base with Simmons looking out for any signs of the blue army. "So Simmons you nervous about the cyborg operation."

"What the fuck do you think."

"Hey calm down."

"Sorry, it just that I don't want to be cut open and stuff."

"You know I would think you'd love to be turn into a robot, you know since when it's your turn to pick a movie it usually involves cylons or cyborg and sometimes androids."

"I like to watch and read that stuff not be it."

"I mean if I could be there I'd rather have a robot arm and or a cyborg eye."

"Yeah well what Sarge told me is that 50% of my guts are going to be replaced with robotic parts and 40% of my skin is going to be replaced with iron plating."

"Wow that sucks, hey shouldn't you be like in down in the med room."

"Yeah well Sarge is scraping up a couple more part and he said might take a while so I'm just waiting around till he's ready." He and Simmons sat in silence till the tank came over the hill and hit Grif. Rogers went downstairs and tried to go get him but Sarge stopped him.

"Son if you go out there you'll get killed might as well wait here."

Back with the blues Vulcan jumped off when they came real fast to the warthog. The tank hit it and she thought she saw an orange blob go under the tank. "Hey Tucker I think we hit something."

"We'll figure that out latter. Hey Sheila hack into the red radio." This is going to work she thought to herself but to her surprise Tucker tried to talk to them instead of doing the plan she thought of.

"Tucker we agreed on aren't biting anyways."

"Alright fine we'll do it your way. Sing it Lopez."

Back at Red base Rogers was amused that the blue guy asked the Red team to turn off their radios until this horrible music began to play. "God what is this shit." Rogers said turning off his radio, he watch Donut dance to it. "Really Donut you like that?"

"Yeah it rules It kind of reminds me of my Jazz cd I tried to get with Grif." It just then hit.

"Oh crap Grif!" Rogers said running out of the base, he found the tank had left and Grif was laying on the ground. He check for a pulse and found an irregular heart but which in this case was a good thing. He tried to pick up Grif up but he was too heavy so he dragged him to the infirmity. "He's hurt Sarge but he'll live. I think. But I think we should to a test a or two."

"Alright, Hey Simmons get over here."

"Yes sir?"

"We're going to do your cyborg operation in a minute so lie down."

"Alright." Simmons said while laying down. "Hey what do we have for antistatics?"

"We have standard water down morphine but we'll have to administer it slowly at 1cc every half hour."

"What!"

"Hey Simmons don't worry I got a old family trick remove your helmet."

"Alright." After he removed his helmet Rogers cracked his knuckles. "What are you goi-." Just then punch Simmons across the jaw and knocked him out cold.

"What did you that for?" asked Sarge.

"Every year when I was young my dad and grandpa always had a drink contest and one of them would go too far and had to knock out or they would get violent. That and I always wanted an excuse to do that."

"Hum sounds like my family gathering too." Sarge then remove Grifs chest piece and found his chest bruise and then check out Grif heart beat and found it dangerously irregular, he check his blood pressure and found it dangerous too. "Well this is going to be a long day."

Back at blue base Vulcan had just got back from her mission. First thing she did was check up on Caboose. "Hey buddy how's it going?"

"My head feels like it got punched."

"That's because Church and Tex killed an evil AI in your head."

"What?"

"Well talk about that later, now I bake some cookies a few hours ago and we just got milk from command."

"What kind of cookies?"

"Oatmeal and raisin for Tucker since he put on some weight and Peanut Butter and chocolate chip for me and you."

"Yay!"

Back at red base Simmons had finally woken up from there sugary. "Hey Dickhead why did you punch me?"

"Oh that the um the morphine was tainted?"

"Um thanks then." Grif then sat up he groaned in pain.

"Uh I feel like I've been binge drinking for five day, got stabbed and woke up in a pool of ice with no kidneys and livers."

"Put on your armor and meet us in the commons." Rogers then left the room and called down Sarge when he got there Grif and Simmons were fully armored up and Grif was still in pain.

"Grif try not to move too much. You've been through the ordeal."

"Oh man where am I."

"You're in heaven." said Roger

"What!? But why get me in my armo-"

"Nah man I just joking."

"How long was I out and Rogers so help me god if say a year I will shoot you."

"Donut worry Nurse Donut stayed by your side whole time stroking your hand and keeping you company."

"Oh my right hand?"

"Your left." said Donut.

"Note to self cut off left hand."

"Technically speaking it's not your left hand."

"Say what?"

"I had to replace certain body parts that were severely damaged by the tank that ran you over and a few that atrophied from a lifetime of diet of hoo-hoos and bacon flavored marshmallows."

"Wait which body parts?" Sarge began to reference the parts of the cow but Rogers walked up and began to speak.

"Basicly everything below the waist was spared except your right big toe and entire left foot. The only thing that still remain of your upper half is your eyes,most skin and bit of the brain."

"Wait where did you get the replacement parts?" asked Grif.

"Why from our other subject of course." As far as Rogers could tell Grif mouth Dropped to the floor. He left so he could avoid being near the awkward situation. After everything was done and over with Grif caught back up with Rogers who was top side.

"Where were you Rogers?"

"Oh I was helping Sarge cutting up Simmons because Donut here is afraid of the guts. Which to be fair was freaky but I didn't show it.

"Well good to know."

"Hey guys?"

"What is it Donut?"

"Do you think I jump up there from down here?"

"I say not." said Rogers.

"Care to make a bet? Fifty bucks says I can jump up there."

"I'll take some of that action." said Grif. After ten minutes of nonstop jumping Rogers and Grif were getting board. Rogers was laying while Grif was smoking. When Simmons came by he headed down stairs because he knew Simmons would not be happy about the smoking when he got down to the common Donut was still Jumping.

"Hey Donut just pay up."

"One more try. Please?"

"Fine." sighed Rogers as Donut jumped and the disgusting spleen ball came rolling towards them. "Hey Donut I think you shou-" Before he could finish his sentence Donut landed on the ball and some parts of the ball got on him and next thing he knew he fainted.

Back at blue base Vulcan was with Caboose and Tucker. Caboose was upset that Lopez was hanging out with Sheila. "Man Lopez and Sheila have been spending a lot of time together." said Tucker.

"I don't like it, he's not good enough for my Shelia."

"They seem happy together."

"Yeah don't you want Sheila to be happy?" added Vulcan.

"He is a bad influence and he is taking advantage of her."

"What are they like taking nitro?" Caboose just ignored her and kept talking.

"Because she is young and naive. And delicate."

"Delicate? She weighs like 200 tons dude."

"Not to mention she has enough firepower to level a entire building in what two shots."

"And that."

"She is a precious flower."

"Oh dear god." sighed Vulcan. "One thing I hate is poetry that compare people to flower and the sun." she said under her breath. Tucker then left and she was with Caboose, she patted him on the back and he began to yell thing to Sheila. "There, there." But all Caboose did was sob quietly.

Back at red base after a long time Rogers finally got up and went tops side and asked someone what happened. "Oh Donut popped the spleen ball and it got all over you and you passed out." said Grif.

"Oh, so what's happening now?" asked Rogers.

"We're going to get Lopez back and you, Grif and Donut are going to be on recon.""

"Got it, dids on the sniper rifle."

"Fine, meet us on cliff." said Grif. Rogers nodded and ran down towards the armory and grabbed the sniper rifle and his lucky assault rifle. By the time he got outside Grif and Donut were halfway to the cliffs. He ran towards them and by the time he got there Donut was playing his own spy music and Grif told him to shut and Look for somewhere else to be a spy. Donut then left. Rogers followed Donut with the sniper rifle to make sure he stayed out of trouble, he snickered at him when he skipped and pretended he had a jet pack. After a couple of minutes he entered a cave and came running out towards blue base.

"Grif we got a problem."

"What kind of problem?"

"Take a look." Rogers said handing Grif the sniper rifle.

"Shit."

Five minutes earlier at blue base, Vulcan was with a down in the dumps Caboose who was too sad for a cookie. "Are you alright buddy?"

"I want Sheila to like me." Caboose said teary eyed.

"Don't worry they're a bunch of tanks in the mortar pool. Did you hear that? Come on." Vulcan said getting Caboose and Tucker to check it out. When she came out to see what it was after sending Tucker and Caboose she saw it was the gal in pink armor.. She and the guys took him to the commons and interrogate him.

"So they sent a female assassin to kill us, clever but won't work."said Tucker.

"Sorry bitch but your whorish ways won't work on us maybe Tucker."

"Hey!"

"Shut up."

"Female? I'm not a girl. I just have light-red armor." Vulcan was a little surprised.

"Really?"

"How is that pink armor anyway?Looks comfortable" asked Caboose.

"At first I hated it. But it kind of grown on me. My old armor used to chafe my thighs sometimes awful. But the crotch in this pink one is surprisingly roomy"

"Really is that an F-5 model or F-6 because my friends had F-6 sliming and they said it's room and the inner lining was softier oppose to the F-5 models which might add are tight and constricting." Vulcan said while Tucker gave her a look.

"Really Vulcan you are talking about fashion."

"Sorry. Seriously though I got to know since I asked the question." whispered Vulcan

"F-6." Donut whispered back.

Back at red base Rogers reported that Donut was taken hostage. To no one's surprise Sarge wasn't happy. "How could of this have happened?"

"Um, Donut wanted to get a closer look but we told him it was a bad idea but he went anyways so not my or Grif's fault sir."

"I bet those two dumbass right there were fiddling around while Donut wandered off." said Simmons.

"Hey I'm using your cerebral cortex."

"Settle down ladies we need a new stratagem and we need one fast."

"Donut is sure to crack under the pressure and reveal everything."

"Like what his crockpot recipes? I mean we're not swimming in information here. I barely even know what sector of the galaxy we're in. I know it starts with an D and has and 3 in it."

"Delta 4." added Simmons.

"See."

"You're right about one thing Simmons, the boy doesn't seem to see the entertainment value of being tortured. Oh these kids today,"

Back at Blue base Vulcan left Caboose in charge of the prisoner while she debriefs with Church and Tucker. "Hey guys did you get any useful information out of the prisoner yet?" asked Church.

"I figure he was sent here to steal back Lopez. But he won't give us anything except a list of crock pot recipes. Would that be useful?"

"Do we have a crock pot?"

"No, Caboose made a trade with annoying guy from blue command. He swapped it for a mystery box."

"What was in the mystery box?"

"140 jars of mayonnaise."

"Really I've been looking for my crockpot for over a month." said Vulcan.

"Hey your beef is with Caboose alright." said Tucker.

"Listen I came up with a plan for how we can use Lopez and our new prisoner to get an upper hand on the Reds. Alright here it goes I'll go posse the pink guy while you and Vulcan strike a deal with the reds got it?"

"Got it." Tucker and Vulcan said in unison. After a minute Church came back possing Donut.

"Alright let's go guys." They then left towards the red base when they got there Vulcan demanded an audience.

"Hey red tards we got your man." yelled Vulcan.

"Donut it that you?" asked Sarge.

"Yeah and they want to negotiate a surrender from us, no I mean them, no right us." said Church Vulcan shook her head in disbelief that this is the plan.

"Go away blues we haven't attacked yet, wait for us to attack then surrender." said Simmons.

"In exchange for not killing us us, they-them-we they would like to release the robot guy and me."

"Smooth dip shit."

"Shut up Emma."

"Hey what did I tell you about using my first name." Just then Simmons attack and told the blue to surrender. Tucker want to fight but Church calmed him down. The reds made their demands and then the blues.

"Hey Church also we want their crockpot."

"Why?"

"I want to try the pink guys recipies."

"Fine. One last thing the blues want is our crockpot."

"Alright but that's it." yelled Sarge.

"Noooo, you bastards." yelled Grif. After Grif outburst there was a couple of things trade off between Church and Sarge and then Church left Donuts body and he then left to blue base. Sarge then told Tucker that feet and legs were optional. And all she could think of was that he was swindling them. They soon left back to blue base where she found Lopez and the tank gone.

"This is not good." she said to herself.

Back with the reds Rogers was taking inventory and after he was done he went topside to speak with Sarge. "Rogers where have you've been?"

"Taking inventory."

"Oh yeah, come with me, we got work to do building robots."

"Um, ok. Hey I heard shouting what was that all about?"

"Oh that, the blues came to discuss the terms of which we get back Lopez and Donut return. All they wanted was two robot and for some reason our crock pot. So let's get started."

"Hey where are going to get the spare parts for two robots?"

"Don't worry I got that cover now let's get to building." After a couple hours of nonstop work, minor explosions a issue with a terminator, they were finally done and Grif came up.

"Hey guys it's almost time are the robots ready yet?"

"Almost I just got to tighten a few more things, oh yeah Simmons your foot is leaking motor oil." Rogers said screwing a few more things in. Then Sarge step up and Introduce their work.

"Gentlemen allow me to introduce Francisco Montague Zanzibar, and robot number two."

"Why didn't this one get a fancy name?" asked Grif.

"Let's just say somebody has an overclocked sass back chip and rejected all the names we came up for it, but that's ok I added some special modifications. Check it out. Code word Dirtbag." The robot then came up and hit Grif with the butt of its rifle.

"That awesome sir. Let me try. Code word dirtbag."said Simmons. And like before the robot went up to Grif and hit him.

"Two can play at this game. Code word dirtbag." Grif said getting hit. "Aw, son of a bitch." While Rogers laughed the robot kneed him in the gut.

"Son of a bitch." It kneed him again. "Why Sarge? Why."

"Actually I don't remember adding that function. But anyway beside beating my troops with codewords, I placed an hidden microphone and the other has a 10-megaton bomb."

"Hey won't the blast be strong enough to kill us ." Rogers said pointing out holes in Sarges logic.

"Code word: son of a bitch."

"Aw crap."

Back at blue base Vulcan was loading her gun and getting ready for her squad to roll out. "Hey Vulcan, we're ready to go." said Tucker. She got up and left the base with Tucker, Caboose and the prisoner. When they got to their destination she could see the Reds and Lopez. This is not good. She thought to herself. She then tightened her gun and covered watched Tucker back as he spoke to the reds. Tucker then sent over Donut and she could see the robot the reds had built. The came Lopez and the robot and Donut went back towards the red side. She raised her gun and aimed it at Lopez. She then became distracted by the yelling of Tucker and Sarge running towards them and making gun noises followed by Caboose and next thing she knew a purple hovercraft came out of nowhere and it fired a rocket at Tucker. She then ran over to aid Tucker. "Hey Tucker you alright."

"No I might not make it and if I don't I ask for one thing, don't sell my stuff on ebay like you did to Church."

"No promises." Vulcan said leaving to help her comrades. As she ran around covering her allies she was stopped by a fire red trooper.

"Freeze."

"Hey buddy I don't have time for this." she said hitting him with the butt of her assault rifle. She was about to hit him again when all of the craziness stopped and she heard Sheila crying out about how doc took Lopez. She turned her head to see it for herself. She saw doc have Lopez at gun point and she heard him switch voices from a deep evil sounding tone to a scared voice. He then ran into the teleporter. She then heard Church yell truce. She extended a hand to help up the fire-red soldier and met up with Church to see what this was all about.

"Would someone explain what just happened here?" asked Grif.

"That evil guy on the scooter shot one of our guys and ran off with Lopez." said Church.

"Not to mention he is possessed by an evil AI that belonged to the freelancer." added Vulcan.

"We need Lopez for very specific reasons that we don't have to explain to you. We have to get him back."

"Yeah we need to get the evil guy back he's only one that can heal Tucker."

"So now we are forced to work together. How ironic."

"No that's not ironic. Ironic would be if we had to work together to hurt each other." As Vulcan began to listen to the pointless conversation of what Ironic means she walked up to the only person who was not apart of the conversation the fire red trooper she had beat down.

"You know I feel like I'm in the company of idiots you know what I mean? Here we got some things to do and here they are arguing about what Ironic is."

"I know what you mean." said Rogers. Over the next two hours Rogers and Vulcan talked while everyone argued what ironic meant when the group was finished they went to the teleport and assigned teams. First was Sarge and Caboose, next was Simmons, and last but not least Rogers and Vulcan. Before Vulcan left she gave the valley the middle finger. The two found themselves in an warehouse.

Like I promised here's how each of my OC feel about the guys in their squad. First up Emma Vulcan. Vulcan is cool with Caboose, Church less so. He originally saw her as a joke but over time he began to respect. At first she and Tucker her were enemies mostly because Tucker was hitting on her every chance he got, but over time Tucker stopped and they became almost friends at this point.

Dan Rogers is alright Simmons, he doesn't like how Simmons is a kiss ass but other than that their cool. Grif and Rogers are the closest thing to best friends he'll help Grif out with his job from time to time. Donut and Rogers are like studio room mates, they aren't best friends but friends. Sarge he has little respect for but doesn't out right show his disrespect.