MUDSNAKE
by Flye Autumne
CHAPTER FOUR: TOADs (TERRIBLY OUTRAGEOUS ACADEMIC DECISIONS)
Hermione's brain hurt. She had never done so much thinking in her entire life. Professor Dumbledore had excused her from classes that day so she could take several different exams. She had already heard of the IQ test, but she had never heard of the slew of wizarding tests. First, there had been the TOAD (Terribly Outrageous Academic Decisions) test, which was written and covered basic theory across all of the first year subjects. Next, she took the SNAKE (Smooth Nearly Academic Konquest Exam), which had involved spell-casting. Last was the RAT (Rightfully Arduous Test), which required wandless magic. Needless to say, Hermione was quite exhausted and a bit dizzy.
Leaning back in her chair, Hermione swung her feet nervously. Worried thoughts ran through her mind in a loop - what if something was wrong with her? What if she got kicked out of Hogwarts? What if -
The inner door of Professor Dumbledore's office opened, and Professors Dumbledore, McGonagall, and Snape stepped out. Hermione anxiously examined their faces, searching for any clue, any expression, any emotion…
There was nothing.
Deep breaths, Hermione, deep breaths.
Professor Dumbledore steepled his fingers. "Miss Granger, we have your results."
Hermione gulped, and Professor Dumbledore handed her a roll of parchment. She unfurled it with trembling fingers and read the following:
IQ: 140
TOAD: 7
SNAKE: 7
RAT: 3
Hermione felt herself begin to panic. She'd gotten a seven? Out of what? And the three - that had to be terrible! Breathe, Hermione. Breathe. Put those emotions away.
Hermione composed her features into a blank mask, "Do you mind explaining the scores, sir? I'm afraid I'm not overly familiar with the IQ exam or any of the wizarding standardized tests."
To her surprise, Professor Snape was the one who spoke up, "As I'm sure you know, the IQ test was developed by muggles as a means to gauge intellectual capacity. The maximum score for written exams caps out around 162 -" Hermione's heart sank. "- and an intellectually average person would score around 100. Your score of 140 ranks you in the top two percent of the population.
"The other three tests - TOAD, SNAKE, and RAT - are scored out of seven points."
A cold fist wrapped itself around Hermione's heart. She gotten a three out of seven? Oh no oh no oh no.
"There are several different versions of TOAD and SNAKE that correspond to your year in school. The tests you took were designed for students in their first year of formal magical schooling. Your scores indicate a certain... mastery of basic magic, although that is not terribly surprising given your IQ score."
Hermione felt as if a lead weight had settled in the pit of her stomach. This was all too common of an occurrence - she'd hear a tantalizing amount of good news only to have her hopes crushed.
"Wandless magic is not a skill many witches and wizards possess -"
Great. Now she was a freak here as well.
"- therefore, there is not an age-specific exam. The ability to do wandless magic typically manifests after a witch or wizard hits the age of majority because it requires more magical energy and focus than magic with a wand. In most cases, a witch or wizard's magical core must be fully developed before they can attempt wandless magic." Professor Snape fixed Hermione with his piercing gaze. "You, Miss Granger, clearly are an exception to the rule."
Hermione gulped. And here is where the wheels fall off the apple cart...
"Since the ability to do wandless magic so so rare, the scoring is curved. Most adult wizards score around a two, which generally translates to the ability to cast simple spells, such as Lumos, without a wand. They may also be able to summon small, nearby objects, but they have no true facility with the skill. Your score of three indicates that, given time and proper training, you may have some skill in wandless magic."
Hermione could hardly believe her ears. "So a score of three isn't bad?" she asked hesitantly.
Professor Dumbledore beamed at her. "Of course not!" he exclaimed, eyes twinkling, "My dear girl, you have a gift!"
Gifted? Her? "I appreciate your kind words, sir, but I do not believe I am nearly as intelligent as you're making me out to be."
"Don't be ridiculous, Miss Granger," Professor Snape snapped, "You clearly have a strong affinity for magic - both with and without a wand." he turned to Professor Dumbledore. "Albus, what have you decided about Miss Granger's classes?" he asked silkily.
Professor Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall exchanged a meaningful glance.
"We have decided that Miss Granger should stay in the classes for her year group."
Professor Snape raised an eyebrow. "Really. And will this truly challenge Miss Granger and allow reach her full magical potential?"
The headmaster fidgeted uncomfortably in his seat. "Well, yes - we wouldn't want Miss Granger to become ostracized from her peers, now would we, Severus? If she is moved up a year or more, as you advocate, Miss Granger would run the risk of cultivating the reputation of an insufferable know-it-all."
Hermione flinched as a sick feeling spread through her. Professor Dumbledore had seemed so kind earlier, but now she could hear the darker implications his genial tones carried. Oh, stuff it, Hermione, there's no way he could actually know about that.
"Very well then, Albus, Minerva," Professor Snape said coldly. "I suppose if that is where you stand, then that is where you stand. Come along, Miss Granger." The Potions master stood, and Hermione quickly followed him. The man was silent all the way down the spiral staircase, and it wasn't until they were several corridors away that he finally spoke.
"I would never speak ill of my colleagues," Professor Snape began, his mouth twisting in sarcasm, "But I want to make sure you are clear on a certain fact. You realize the Headmaster's decision is utterly absurd, correct?"
Hermione started - she wasn't expecting Professor Snape to ask her for input. "Erm, I suppose so," she said carefully.
Professor Snape stopped in his tracks and whirled around to face her. "You 'suppose so', Miss Granger?" he asked, voice dangerously soft. "Do you not realize the implications of your scores?"
Hermione numbly shook her head.
"Listen closely as I am not going to repeat myself again. You are likely the brightest witch of your generation, and Professor Dumbledore -" he sneered the name, "- is insisting you stay in the regular classes with all the dunderheads who are struggling to learn material you mastered weeks ago. Does that not sound strange to you, Miss Granger?
"If your House had been anything but Slytherin, they would have done anything in their power to help you," he said bitterly. "Instead, you made your home in the House of Snakes, and, ergo, you cannot be trusted." His mouth contorted into a twisted facsimile of a smile. "The old coot," he snarled under his breath, almost too quietly for Hermione to hear.
He turned and continued walking, "If Professor Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall are not willing to place you in classes appropriate for your abilities, I will have to take matters into my own hands and endeavor to remedy the situation - I expect to see you in my office on Tuesday and Thursday evenings at seven."
Hermione was touched that her Head of House was willing to dedicate some of his spare time towards helping her. "Thank you, sir."
Professor Snape grimaced slightly. "You should not have to thank me."
Hermione shrugged, "I would have thanked you anyways." They had arrived at the common room door. "Have a pleasant evening, Professor.
"Boomslang," she told the wall. The door slid open and Hermione hurried inside.
"Hermione!" Pansy called as she hurried over to their usual corner. "How are you doing? Were the tests hard? Did you do well? Oh, and did you hear that -"
Hermione held up a hand to stop the flurry of words. "Woah, slow down, Pansy."
Her dark haired friend just grinned at her. "So…?"
Hermione shrugged. "The tests were kind of difficult, but I did alright. Do you have a copy of the Transfiguration notes?" she asked, quickly changing the subject.
"Er, I have my notes…"
"Do you mind if I make a copy?"
"Go ahead."
Hermione tapped the parchment with her wand. "Gemino." A perfect duplicate of Pansy's notes appeared, and the other girl raised her eyebrows in appreciation.
"Neat. Where'd you learn that?"
"Oh, I saw a couple of upper years making copies in the library, and it seemed really useful so I watched them cast it a couple times. Works really well, huh?"
"Yeah," Pansy flopped back dramatically onto the couch, "This Potions essay is killing me - what's up with the porcupine quills and taking the cauldron off the heat?"
Hermione smiled, "Okay, so, here's the deal with quills…"
It wasn't until several hours later that she was finally able to curl up in her four poster bed and really think about what Professor Snape had said. If she was to be completely honest with herself, Professor Dumbledore's actions really didn't make sense - unless he truly is prejudiced against Slytherins.
That's ridiculous, there must be some other reason, Hermione sighed and rolled over. Whatever it is, I will figure it out.
A/N:
Sorry for the long wait! This chapter was very difficult to write and I'm not 100% happy about how it turned out. *sighs*
I've also hit a bit of writer's block with this story - if you guys have any ideas for upcoming events, please let me know via reviews or PMs!
I'm so happy about all the support this story has gotten so far, so please make a humble writer's day and review!
