Hotch loved the time that he got to be alone in the office. He enjoyed the calm, quiet solitude before it became noisy and chaotic when his team showed up. That's why Hotch liked to get there early, to make his favourite kind of coffee and straighten everything out. He never suspected that this morning would be different, although after yesterday, he should have.
Hotch was humming a tune from Peter Pan (Jack's new favourite movie) when he opened the door. When he looked up, all humming ceased and he looked like he was about to pass out. "Garcia," he said in a threatening tone, "Strauss will kill you."
"No, she won't." Garcia answered cheerfully, "She's home in Wisconsin for the next two weeks."
"How did you even get that in here?" Hotch asked. He was, of course, referring to the giant, half-decorated tree that now dominated the bullpen.
Garcia winked down at him from her stepladder. "That's for me to know and for you to someday figure out."
"Wow."
"Oh my god."
A chorus of voices sounded behind Hotch and he turned to see his team, brightly wrapped gifts in hand.
"That's great baby girl." Morgan said.
"Thanks muffin." Garcia said. She put a giant glittering star on top of the giant, glittering, drowned-in-tinsel tree.
Morgan helped her down off of the ladder and she clapped her hands, once again taking over, which was just as well, because Hotch looked like he was about to have a heart attack.
"Presents under the tree!" She commanded.
Everyone put their carefully wrapped, and bagged, presents under the tree. There was no mention of how Emily had a slight limp because she dropped Reid's huge encyclopedias on her foot, Rossi didn't say that he was so tired because he stayed up late, cursing and crying, trying to wrap that stupid nutcracker, before giving up and throwing it in a bag. JJ kept quiet about how she had almost thrown Hotch's ties and socks out this morning, Reid took a hint from her and didn't say anything about how his neighbor had seen Garcia's gift and thought the aliens were here. Hotch's lips were sealed on how he had finally managed to get the crate of pens up the stairs. And Morgan never said a word on how he had agonized all night and the whole drive here about how the small envelope Emily's gift was in was faring being stuck in a box filled with bricks and foam peanuts.
Garcia flitted over to a stereo and turned it on, blasting Frosty The Snowman.
"First we have Christmas treats, then we open our presents!" She announced, looking like a little kid at, well, Christmas.
The team took their seats at the table Garcia pointed them at, and made them remain at until the early afternoon. No one was complaining though, Morgan shared several Christmas jokes, Reid spouted Christmas facts, and Garcia got everyone caroling.
Finally, though, the time had arrived to open their gifts. To everyone's surprise, Garcia pulled out the sparkly pink cowboy hat they had pulled their secret santa's from.
"Pick." She told Hotch.
"Why?" He asked.
"Because everyone has to open their gifts individually. If we all open them at once I won't be able to properly see what everyone got. And this way, it's just the luck of the draw who gets to open theirs in what order." Garcia explained.
"Brilliant," Emily complimented.
Garcia beamed. "I know," then she whacked Hotch in the arm with the hat. "Pick."
Hotch sighed and pulled a piece of paper out of the hat. "JJ." He read.
"Goody." Garcia raced to the tree and pulled out the bright red and green bag that had JJ's name on it. "From Rossi." She told the other blonde, sitting it on the table in front of it.
JJ pulled a layer of wrapping paper off of the top and reached in, first pulling out a bag of nuts. "Thanks?" She asked, confused.
"There's more," Rossi said.
"Oh." JJ once again reached in, and pulled out the blonde, princessy-looking nutcracker.
Morgan cracked up. "She looks exactly like you," He cackled.
"Thank you, Rossi," JJ said sincerely, ignoring Morgan.
The hat slid across the table to land in front of Emily. Emily picked a name out, knowing that the faster she did it, the less likely Garcia was to yell at her. "Hotch."
Garcia squealed and once again dashed to the tree, bringing back the carefully wrapped box that had Hotch scrolled on it in messy writing. "From JJ." Garcia said, presenting it to her boss.
Hotch took his sweet time pulling off the ribbon and wrapping paper, much to Garcia's annoyance.
"GET ON WITH IT!" She yelled, after Hotch spent five minutes taking a piece of tape off the side of the plain white box.
Hotch just smiled and took ten minutes with the other piece. When Garcia arrived at the point of killing her boss and ripping open the box herself, Hotch took the top off. The first thing he pulled out was a pair of Elmo socks with a matching tie.
"Ooh," Garcia cooed, looking at the socks. "I might have to borrow these."
JJ gave her a look but said nothing.
Hotch sat the set to the side, and pulled out the next one - smiley faces, which Garcia also pounced on. She practically drooled over the rainbow coloured socks and Morgan stopped her from stealing the carebear socks and tie.
"Those are so sweet," Garcia sighed, and tried to put the penguin tie on Hotch.
"I like the one I'm wearing," he told her. Garcia sighed, but didn't fight him.
Hotch came across an individually wrapped box, and looked at JJ questioningly.
"This one is special," she said. "And you will let Garcia put this one on you."
Hotch unwrapped the tie, because that was what it had to be. He unfolded the tie once the wrapping paper was pushed to the side and gasped. "It's," he seemed at a loss for words as Garcia snatched the tie and passed it around the table. "Thank-you."
He let Garcia put the tie with the smiling faces of his team on it, she smoothed it out over his chest, making sure that the gold, cursive that said Hotch was readable. As Emily was gathering up the wrapping paper to throw out, a gold tie clip fell out. It was engraved with BAU '09.
Garcia was so proud. "I couldn't have done better myself."
The hat was passed to JJ. "Reid," she called.
Garcia grabbed the wrapped gift with Reid's name on it, and almost fell over. "Help me muffin," she pleaded with Morgan.
Morgan darted over and took the from her arms, but he also struggled with it. "What's in here?" He gasped.
Emily shrugged, but an evil grin overcame her as she watched Morgan weave his way back to the table, finally letting the package drop in front of Reid with a huge thunk.
"From Emily." He gasped.
Reid poked a hole in the side of the wrapping paper and ripped like he was six years old. However, the books that were hidden inside were not, in fact, for a six-year-old. Reid picked one of them up and flipped through the first couple of pages. "This is great, Emily, thanks." He sounded truly excited.
"That'll take him, what, ten minutes to read?" Morgan said sarcastically, but once again, he was ignored.
Reid accepted the hat, balancing it on his books. "Morgan," he declared.
Garcia bounced to the tree, searched and searched, but couldn't find one. "I give up!" She whined.
"Try under his desk." Hotch suggested. Garcia did as he asked, and dragged a large wooden crate stamped 1992.
Morgan gave his boss a look, but pulled the top off, the team members half falling over each other to get a look. "Pens." Morgan said, dully.
"You don't like them," Hotch said, sounding hurt.
"No, they're great." Morgan grinned, putting a humourous spin on this. "Now I will be set for life, and my kids, too."
"You have kids?" Garcia exclaimed.
"What?" Morgan tipped his chair over from the shock of her words. Rubbing his sore head, he said, "NO! No, and not for a long time."
Rossi coughed. "I met a salesgirl who looked like she was looking to come rape you, kids might come sooner than you think."
"I DON'T HAVE CHILDREN!" Morgan yelled.
"That you know of," Reid mumbled.
"NO KIDS!" Morgan screamed.
"Humph." Went Garcia, she then proceeded to throw the hat at Morgan.
"Your turn, baby girl," he flashed the chubby blonde his signature smile, but for once in her life, she ignored it.
Instead she stalked to the tree. She pulled her gift out from under the tree and took her seat. After checking to make sure that the gift wasn't from Morgan, she eagerly ripped it open. The fuzzy pink thing sprang out, glad to be free of its confines.
"It's a laptop cover," Reid explained, before getting wrapped in one of Garcia's bear hugs.
"Oh, I love it. My poor baby always freezes in the winter." With a loud kiss to Reid's left cheek, Garcia fetched her laptop and wrapped in the fuzzy cover.
"Perfect." She smiled, and slid the hat toward Rossi. He picked up a piece of paper, leaving only one in the bottom. "Emily." He said.
Garcia passed Emily from her gift. "It's from Morgan," she sneered.
Emily opened the small rectangular present. "It's a gift card to a tanning salon," she read. "And it includes a free . . ." her mouth dropped open and she screeched, "BIKINI WAX!"
Everyone started laugh, and eventually Emily joined in.
"I'll get you back for that," she threatened Morgan. He snorted and rolled his eyes.
Garcia gave Rossi his present, the only one left under the tree. "Once you open, you will put it on." She whispered so only he could hear. Rossi nodded.
He tore open the paper and unfolded the pink shirt. His jaw dropped and he let go of the shirt. Morgan, who was sitting on his left, snatched up and showed it to the team. On top of multicolored lollipops were large, purple words that said, 'FBEYE CANDY!'
Garcia grabbed it out of Morgan's grasp and put it on Rossi.
"Perfect fit." She beamed.
"Brilliant," Morgan said. He listened for a second, where a man's deep voice was singing Let It Snow. "Dance with me, baby girl." He offered.
Garcia put her hand in his, her anger gone. "Of course." He led her in front of the tree, and they twirled.
Emily goaded Hotch into taking her for a spin on the temporary dance floor, and he agreed, all too eagerly, according to Morgan.
Once Rossi realised what was going on, he quickly retreated to the far side of the room. No dancing for this man, thank you very much.
"That just leaves you and me," JJ hinted to Spence.
He picked up what she was putting down and said, "Milady, may I have this dance?"
JJ pretended to think about it, "You may."
The three couples spun around to Christmas carols, thinking that there was no where else they would rather be. The older agent in the corner was trying to figure out how to get out of his shirt without getting killed by Garcia (and in that case she would probably bury him in the thing).
I do not own Criminal Minds. A big thank-you to twinewclipdawn, as this story would not be here without her. Hope everyone had a good holiday.
~DI4MGZ~
