A/N: I am still amazed at two things. One is how long it took me to write Chapter 3, and Two is that (almost) nobody reviewed. Thanks guys. :(
Don't forget to REVIEW and follow me on my links given on my profile page to keep up with me and maybe hangout sometime. Check it out if ya wish.
Okay, anyways….Chapter 4 is here? This took a longer time, especially because of the lack of motivation (reviews) so yeah. Can people start seriously guessing the chapter names, I really know this game would be fun if people tried it. :) Oh, and the last review person got it right! So here ya go. *hands a tray of homemade cookies*
Okay, on with the story.
Summary: Suicidal. Emo. Dumbass. Maybe even a "queer" every once in a while. I needed someplace new, or at least to get out of this god-forsaken place. This is the story of my new life. --- Roxas Le Toux is finally moving to a high school on the East Coast in New York after having a horrible experience on the West in LA. Will it be the same? AkuRoku
Rating: M for Language, Smex (later-on), and Violence.
Disclaimer: No Yaoi happened in the manga or game, right? So that means that KH isn't in my ownership.
I Found Away
Chapter 4: This Is the Scent of Dead Skin on the Floor
Months had passed and times had changed, like Eric's social status.
Because he hanged out with me, a lowly, someone-nobody-gave-a-shit-about 9th grader, he had to suffer through the same shit I had to deal with.
Questions were asked, beliefs were changed, and motives were unclear. Apparently, abandoning all of his past-time had been worth hanging out with me. He used to say things like, "One day, Roxas, the tables will be turned. And…we will be in charge." He'd look me in the eyes, and say, "They can't hurt us. Shit thrown at a person can't hurt that person, right?" (I always laughed at that one). So many positive things said, and I believed.
"Roxas, we'll get them back."
Bullshit.
Where the fuck was your head?
It had been near the end of school, and he'd head off to have his last year in school to be fully ridden with hatred directed towards him. Days before…it…I asked him a question. And, I don't know where it came from, but it just did. We were sitting on my house rooftop while my parents slept, and it was 2-something-a.m. The moon could be seen, and yet, we couldn't…see ourselves. The last weeks were hell. Hell, the others made fun of us in front of the fucking teachers, and they thought we were friends. Mhm, some great damn friends I had, right, Mrs. Greenwood? …Anyways, I asked him something that he had already thought about, which...showed his true feelings, to put it in a way.
"Eric…why…w-why me?"
He looked at me. More like glare, or awe-struck stare at me. He could see through every single digit of my skin, but somehow, I was relaxed; it was Eric, there was nothing to worry about.
But then he looked back at the moon and gave out a small laugh. "Roxas…hah, you have no fucking idea, do you?" I squinted my eyes questionably toward the blond, and wondered what he meant. "Roxas. You…you wouldn't want to know." Now, I don't know why, but I pressed on for an answer. Which was pretty damn stupid, knowing Eric, and I really wish I hadn't. It was times like those that make me blame myself for what happened to him. I blame myself because…because I think that was the breaking ball, the first domino put down to take all the other ones out. It had been match that had went along with the gasoline of torment from others to incinerate all the traces, the lines, the ties. Everything.
"Eric, come on. You are my only friend I have, and my best. Speak the shit." That last phrase, "speak the shit", was something we just made up. I don't know why we did, or from what, but Eric just started saying it to make him look B.A. or something, and it grew on me.
He looked at me and gave me one of those sad laughs, almost sarcastic except you aren't trying to be a dick or anything, but more because you're on the verge of tears or sad. "Roxas!" He gave me one of those depressing laughs again, and continued. "I fucking envy you! …I…I hate how I am, man!" Tears streamed, but he didn't give in, and had a grim smirk on his face. "I hate how I am so…so fucking hypocritical, and how I show hate towards those I wish I could help! I wish I could be…I wish I could act like my damn self!"
I just stared, most in part to that I had no idea what to do, or say.
"And I never had the guts to tell the others to fuck themselves, or to intervene; instead, I just frickin' talk back silently, or mentally tell them off. I never had any damn fucking guts! But then…", Eric said, as he looked toward the moon again. "…then I saw you. And I observed how you just didn't give a shit about them, how you didn't give them what they wanted so easily, how you, although normally doing what they wanted, always gave a damn fight. And, I thought of me, ya know?" He laughed as then the bucket of tears behind those blue eyes refilled, and spilt again. "And then I heard you sing, and then I heard you show your stuff on the field, and then we talked, and I saw, in you, someone I really liked." I smiled back at him as he wasn't looking, but I felt he still received the gesture.
"Roxas, I know this is going to sound stupid, but", Eric whispered in the night, as he then looked down at the grass from the rooftops and finished the sentence. "…I…I like you."
Now, my first reaction was laughter and stupidity. I laughed and responded, "Eric, why wouldn't you think I like you back? You've been such a go-"
"Roxas! Don't you get it?!" He looked at me, and then continued with, "Let me explain."
I was surprised when he leaned over to kiss me on the cheek.
…
It clicked in 5 seconds that he did that and I blushed profusely. I had never been kissed by anyone since I was 13, which was quite an embarrassing scene stirred up by my mom, so I won't mention it, but that just meant that I was really…sensitive…to this type of situation. Especially with guys.
"E-eric. Um…", I said at the time, and I looked down, finding anywhere else to look unsuitable. I could see him smile from my vision at the side of my eyes and shake his head. "P-please, trust me when I, um, s-say this, but I really just am n-not into, um, guys. And I really don't care that you just did that o-or anything, because I'm willing t-to…to still have my best friend around. So…w-what…what I'm tryin' to say is that…I can't do that f-for you…but I still really want to b-be your…best friend." A huge ton of lead was lifted off my chest, and I could speak more easily now. What I said took a lot of guts to say, really.
"Roxas. It's okay." He smiled and stopped crying. "Just…don't mind it if I do some special things around you, 'kay?"
"Sure, just…don't k-k…ki-kiss me." The scene had gotten really awkward. But that ended when he laughed out loud…and then I laughed out loud. I was sure our parents had heard us.
However, about 3 weeks later, school had ended and I decided to walk and run to my house. I texted him about 5 times, and because he didn't answer back, I decided to call him. He still didn't answer. "Agh", I thought. "We still have the whole damn summer. I'll reach him tomorrow." I played around on my laptop, watched some TV, and played some hockey in my basement, and then I sat on my rooftop. I can still remember that from the rooftops, I knew the time was 9:42 P.M. I looked at the night sky for some time, and then looked toward Eric's house, and then towards his sunroom. And then I saw…Eric.
He was walking around a table and he looked worried, while reading some paper. Then he started to cry. And it felt really weird to spy on your crying friend, so I just looked around the room, and I noticed something…I noticed a noose. A fucking noose. I wondered, "What the fuck is that doing over there?" And then he stepped on the table below the noose, and I widened my eyes. I thought, "Oh. My. Fucking. God."
He let go of the paper, and it floated in a zig-zag trail that led it under the table he stood on.
"This. Can't. Be Happening."
Eric wrapped the rope around his neck and then he stopped crying. But I started to cry, and I stood up. And right when I stood up, he kicked the table furiously out of the way, and right when he did that, he caught me standing on my roof. And then he started to cry while he put on that grim smirk of his, but he didn't struggle. He smiled, with that grimness in his face. And you know what it did to me?
It. Tore. Me. Fucking. Apart.
"Eric! What the fuck are you doing?!" I jumped off the rooftop and onto the lawn, sprinting. I was panicking. I should have called 9-1-1. But, you know, you don't even fucking think about thinking. You just, you know, do whatever the fuck goes to your mind first. So I ran towards him, waving my arms violently. I reached his backyard, and the view to his sunroom. He was…he was still smiling at me!
And that was when his neck snapped.
I…I didn't cry. Immediately. I walked towards him. I walked towards the sunroom. Walking towards the sunroom, there was a door. It was unlocked. I walked in. And, I saw his neck just loosely hang, and float, and he seemed…so inhumane. It was floating like he was a plane, in the sky, and was just cruising; cruising off to heaven or something, while smiling happily. But then a tear dropped from his eye. And that was when the ceiling collapsed from the weight hanging on the noose, which hung on a chandelier, and his body just completely was obliterated from the objects from above. The only thing that had to show for Eric was his blood. All of it. When the chandelier fell, it fell right on Eric, and blood spattered. Everywhere. And when it…when it splattered on my face, or at least part of it, it sunk in. He had killed himself. His body is no more. His blood is on my body.
That's when I screamed and cried. That was the sight, the taste, the smell; that was the smell of his best friend's dead skin on the floor.
And then I crumbled.
**************************
What is really damn annoying about the school is that you can check your grades from your house at any time you wanted to. And that meant that your parents, including your mostly-drunken father, could see your grades at any time.
Fuck. My. Life.
It was a system that you can check your grades online anytime you wanted to that was just incorporated that year into the school. These types of things and signs are those that just prove the point that whatever God is out there just hates me. It's been like that forever.
But something happened worse than that. That night, yesterday night, I had a really weird dream. Like, a really weird piece of shit. First off, I hadn't had a dream in, hmm… I think it was 4 or 5 years. But you get the point. Dreams are very seldom for me, so I sorta didn't know how to react to it. Should I have shrugged it off, or looked closely at it's meaning? I don't know. But I just put it off later for thought.
I dreamt several things, for starters. I first dreamt a scene that had me feeling a lot of wind, and looking at lighthouse upside down. I could also see some students in the distance. There were some loud blasts of music, lots of drinks around, and it looked like a party. But they were just staring at me. And they opened their mouths and it looked like they were saying something, but nothing came out of their mouths. In fact, I couldn't hear anything except just some weird slow electronic music. I kept feeling the wind until, for some 1 or 2 seconds, I saw some rocks at the corner of my eyes. And, I wanted to see more, but my eyes just "closed" on me. However, it was more like my eyes were open, but my vision turned off like eyes closing. And then it came back up again.
I saw my school, and then Sora, Naminé, Kairi, and Riku. And Axel as well. From a third-person view, they were in the alley, and then I saw me being pulled by Axel's hand and then he started introducing me, like the first day of school at RHS. But then, my vision faltered again, except it was really quickly, and it faltered like a TV getting no signal and just having the black and white fuzzy lines play with the fuzzy sound. But that happened for a split second. I was still looking at the alley, but only Riku and Sora were there…and…Sora was being pushed against the wall, and he blushed, as the person who was pushing up against him was…Riku? Riku was putting his leg between both of Sora's and then his knee grinded against Sora's crotch. And then, they made out. To top it off, they frenched.
I said to myself, "Wait, let me get this straight. Sora is a male. Riku is a male. Those of the same sex that stick their tongues down each other's throats isn't considered straight, or heterosexual. Rather, they are considered…"
"They're gay?!", I thought. It finally hit my somewhat dense head.
But then the faltered eyes showed its falteredness and then it just showed himself…and…Axel? It looked friendly…but on the second look, it seemed too friendly..and then it turned intimate….and then….making out?! Surely those weren't tongues flying, right? But it was, and I felt at the time that I was lightheaded. But how could you be lightheaded in a dream? Iunno.
But why would I dream, or even think such a thing. It was creepy, you bet, but I let it slide. Some random things do happen in dreams, especially to me, Roxas, one who still has some raging hormones growing. But it was something that I had told myself to keep note of. Anyways, the…incident…happened for about 5 more seconds, and then the first vision falter happened, with the eyes closing. Then I saw the surroundings of a hospital, and it seemed that I was in a patient's room. And the patient was Axel. And he was sleeping. But then all of my vision was tunneling, and before I had to leave and see no more of that weird dream, I caught a glance of the white board next to Axel's bed. There was all sorts of writing on it, but on the bottom, it said this:
"Condition: Axel has suffered a c-----(couldn't read this part because it'd been smudged) and treatment will be ongoing. Recovery from it is exp-"
That was all I could see before everything went black, and then I just went into the neutral zone of sleeping, and then I woke up some time later.
Oh well, the bell had just rung, so I remember myself just throwing away the topic so I could stand to sarcastically sing along with some other guys in my class on the national anthem.
1st Week – Grades
Advanced Pre-Calculus: A-AP World History: A
AP Music Theory: B+AP Computer Programming: A-
AP American Literature: A+AP Chemistry: B
Study Hall: ---
******************************************
It's gonna take me
You don't know tragedy
I've been to hell and back again to tell and
Close my eyes and
Lay me dead to sleep
I fear the worst migh-
"Hello?"
"Sup, Rox."
"Yes!"
"Hmmm?"
"I did it right! Brandon Urie isn't singing! Axel, I found a YouTube video on how to block music that plays when a certain someone calls. And I did it correctly!"
"Oh, gee, thanks, Roxy."
I sarcastically gasped. "Roxy?" I heard a laugh on the other side of the line. Was it me or was that laugh getting sexier and se-…wait…what the fuck?
"That's your punishment. You know, for, uh, blocking someone's precious music everytime he wants you to hear it." Axel put some sexual emphasis on the word punishment. I shuddered; Axel was really good at putting on a sexy act. Almost too good….wait….what the fuck is happening to me?!
"Roxy…"
"Oh…um, right. Well anyways. Wanna head over to the party now, or do you wanna, like, crash at my place? I don't really care which one."
"Hmmm…well, it's…4:27 right now…and the social starts at 7:30, in the cafeteria, which is next to the alley…your place it is, compradre."
"…It's Roxas."
"Touchè."
"….What?"
"…I don't know……just meet out right next to the school sign in two."
"'Kay."
The first thing that I thought is that I really needed to get the hang of myself that night. Fortunately, just that one week really bolstered my social confidence on how to act and what to say. I had been gaining a lot of "friends", or at least acquaintances; I had 52 contacts on my phone! And the great thing that I found out is that even though some people who were his friends were dicks on the outside, when it was just him and his friend, or with some others, they were cool. That is the difference between Richardson students and…whatever LA was.
I met him outside and told him that my house was close, so we could walk. He agreed on it, but he kept pestering me with questions on how my house looked like. I ended up just tuning him out and he ended up just stopping in general. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see him, and the wind blowing against him and his clothes. His flamboyant hair had been bouncing and shifting in the same direction and his clothes kept rippling gently. He looked like he was modeling, doing a photoshoot for Hot Topic with the black, red and orange of his image mixed around. I laughed at that.
We reached my house, and he said, "Wow. Pretty nice place you got here."
"Thanks. Words of advice as we enter my house, though. Listen, please."
"Hit me, Roxy."
"Okay. First…that sounded weird."
"……". Axel smirked
"Uh…Second, my dad. He…doesn't like me. Just treat him with some 'spect and he'll like the first impression of you. My mom…is questionable. Just try not to mess with them. Third….well, actually, yeah. That's it. My parent's can suck my balls."
He laughed with that familiar friendly chuckle that can comfort anybody. I love it.
"'Kay, let's go in."
Fortunately, his mom was out somewhere, probably some grocery store, and dad was at work. So I gave him a quick tour of the house as I saw some nods of approval or at least understanding. Finally, I wanted to show him the secret room.
"Okay, I know this is going to be weird, but go in front of me, towards the bathroom in my room."
"…huh?"
"Just do it." So he did. Once he arrived in my bathroom, I talked to him with, "Go in the shower. Ok. You see on the, uh, side right in front of you when you step in the shower, the longest one? Well, okay, loosen the two most central tiles." Axel seemed a bit curious as to why I was making him do all this, but I ignored his looks. He did so, and was surprised when he found out that they were movable.
"Whoa. What's back here?"
"You'll see. Just drop the tiles in the tub, I'll put them back when I go in after you." So he let the tiles in the tub and continued on. Then I heard a gasp and then sighs of "Wow."
"Axe, you sound like a six year old saying wow so much."
"Oh…I'm sorry…I can't h-help it. This is so…cool. I mean, you have a 360 and a TV here, some books, and other stuff to do in this…um…", Axel said, trying to find a good word
"I call it my sanctuary."
"Ah…well, it looks awesome. And it seems as if you can't hear anything else? Yeah, it does. This must be nice to get away from your dad, right?"
"Mhm."
"So I'm guessing…", said Axel. He started to get into a low, seductive voice as he leaned over and said, "…I'm guessing that no one can hear us in here, is that correct, Roxy?" He purred out my name, and grabbed my chin when he did. I stammered with something I was trying to say, and I looked around nervously. I'm pretty sure I had a good amount of red fresh on my face.
He laughed in front of me and said, "I'm just kiddin' dude, let's get outta here." I thanked God he was kidding, and that he stopped it there, because if he didn't, I'm pretty sure I would have embarrassed myself (as if I didn't already). Well, as we were getting out, he also asked, "I think I saw a pool here on the way here…mind getting in?"
"Nah, I'm okay with it. But you'd probably have to borrow one of my swimsuits."
He snorted, and then laughed. "Nah, I'm good. My legs might suffocate. I'll go with my boxers."
Okay, so what if I had somewhat skinny legs? In fact, it was more of him having much more muscular legs. Mine were probably a little below average. Very little. "Whatever. You can go ahead and go in while I get changed." I started to change out of everything into the swimsuit, but I noticed that Axel stopped walking and he was outside my open door. I didn't stop changing, and I didn't dare look back. After some two seconds or so, I barely heard some feet moving down my stairs, toward the swimming pool.
What was that all about?
****************************
"What's up Sora?"
"Oh!" Sora turned around as he heard me ask him the question amid the many voices and sounds of music. "Hey! Where's everyone?" He had that wide smile of his that could crack anybody up.
"Iunno." I had a cup of orange-flavored Fanta while he had some Coca-Cola. "Hey, Sora", I said. I leaned in a bit to his ear and said in a somewhat sexual tone, "See any cute girls you like?" I could see him squirm as he got uncomfortable with the question. That day, I decided to try my dream to the test. I don't know why, maybe I was bored.
"Heh, nah…t-they're all pricks."
"Hmmm? How so?"
"Okay, you see that circle of blonds over there? Maybe some brunettes as well?" He pointed over to the right near the stage. "Well, they're pretty hot, but they're just a bunch of sluts. Uh…oh, and the group next to it…they're just some fucking preps. I just hate preps."
"Hah-hah, well, come on Sora, how about a One Night Stand?" Now this, my friends, is what I think he got really nervous around. Apparently, sex with girls wasn't his thing? That just got me more interested at the time.
"U-um…", he stammered. "I-I wouldn't want to, um, like, do that. I just am not, um, like that." It wasn't enough for me, so I had to take a risk. I sipped on my Fanta pretty loudly, and pondered what I could do, and I decided on a bluff.
"Look, Sora. I know that you aren't into girls, but rather into, you know…", I said. I smirked while watching him as he widened his eyes.
"How?! H-How the fuck?!" He sort of started panicking, and I knew then that I flicked a switch to the "ON" position. "Dude, I fucking swear to God…", he continued. I decided to intervene in his nervousness and tell him that I wasn't there to harm him.
"Sora. Sora!" He calmed down when I exclaimed. "Look, dude, I am not going to hurt you." I noticed that the DJ at the social turned up the volume, so I decided to lead him out of the cafeteria and talk to him outside, where no one else was. "I won't tell anyone Sora. But I have one last interest that sort of is a question…", I said.
"O-okay…"
I sighed, and then asked the question. "You like Riku, don't you."
Now this, was the icing on the cake. He inhaled deeply and blushed a shade of tomato red. I was almost going to laugh if it wasn't for his shock. "H-H-How, the hell do you know this?", Sora said, in a hushed tone. It came out with a lot of spit and like a snake's rattling.
"Okay, honestly, I didn't know for sure that that was true…but…I had this strange dream some days ago, an-"
"Sora?", said a voice that wasn't Sora's nor mine. We turned around and found that it was Naminé's voice. "Roxas? What are you guys doing here? Everyone just found each other behind the stage."
"Oh", I said. "We were just getting there. Sora just had a, um, somewhat private question." Then I leaned over next to Sora's ear and whispered, "She's probably going to ask you about this, so sorry about that. Just insist on not telling her, 'kay?" He nodded and I looked back towards a questionable-looking Kairi. "We'll be there in a second." She nodded, but still looked at us as she was on her way toward the social.
"Sora, um, I've had this dream that was really, really weird, and one of the things was that…I saw you…and, um, Riku…", I said. That time, it was my turn to get sheepish. But then I thought I seriously had to cut the crap. "Okay, you and Riku were making out in the alley!"
That was when he looked amazed. Apparently, he didn't even think he would have a chance with Riku. "R-…really?"
I shrugged. "I mean, it's not like I'm gay, or even romantic in any way, and I really have no fancy in twincest…but, yeah. Now I don't know when, but it's going to happen apparently. And this dream…it's….it's freaking me out man."
The brunette patted me on the back and then continued, "Don't worry about it…but I appreciate it. Maybe you are a psychic or somethin', we'll see. If you want to talk about it, or any future ones, f-…feel free to hit me up." He smiled at me with that goofy grin. What could I do, frown? I had to smile.
"Thanks…um, how 'bout we go."
"Sure."
So we walked off. Opening the cafeteria door, sounds of talking and music could be heard clearly and loudly, and I spotted the gang next to the stage. Axel waved us over, and we started to party for some time. I didn't remember much because I was too caught up in the moment, but we left at 9:30-10:00-ish after I confirmed that Axel, Sora, and Riku could sleepover. I said goodbye to all of them and I headed on home in the darkness, where my home is.
Review pleases.
I am going back home tomorrow, so I'll be able to chat with some people. Just to tell you guys, I'm going to be working on 2 stories at once, because I had this really good idea for a story and I can't put it down. So whatevz. I want to hear your feedback on what you think the dream means. So please do so :0
- Eirik
