AN: A movie is referenced, Primal Fear, and it technically does contain spoilers. Just wanted to warn anyone planning on seeing that movie (though it doesn't go into details).


Sam was shocked by those words. I'm afraid I'd hurt you. He cared about Bucky. He felt an over whelming amount of sorrow for Bucky as well but he also enjoyed his presence. Bucky was smart, kind, and Sam loved how every now and then he'd make a snarky comment with a look like he hadn't gone through hell. But he couldn't help but always wonder what Bucky felt for him, if he really cared.

Those words had answered the unspoken question in his mind. Granted, Steve really was the only one that could hold his own against Bucky in a one-on-one fight. But, if Bucky hadn't cared at all for Sam, then after all the crap he had experienced that day he probably would've thrown a punch. Yet instead, he honestly admitted that he thought he would hurt Sam in some way and that he didn't want that to happen.

It saddened Sam that Bucky didn't believe he had enough self control, but the concern and honestly was nice.

He followed Bucky back into the house, Natasha and Steve having already gone into the small computer/office room Sam had to discuss the mission. Bucky went into the living room and picked up his book. Before opening it though, he gave a quizzical look to Sam who perched on the arm of his chair.

"Do you need something?" Bucky asked.

"No, not really."

"Oh."

Sam waited for more but when it was clear Bucky didn't really know how to continue, he asked, "What are you reading now?"

"Uh, a book on J. Edgar Hoover. He was pretty well known back then but there are a lot of things he did that I missed out on. I know the FBI is apparently a big part of the government now so I figured that I should read up on it and its first director."

"Hmm, I can see that being interesting. Got any plans for who will be up next on your list of books?" asked Sam.

"At least one more person from the fifties and then I'll probably start off with Kennedy and the sixties," replied Bucky.

"Sixties were pretty interesting," mused Sam. Cocking his head to the side in thought, he finally said, "I know you're not really planning to pick up anything fictitious at the moment but I have a few books that you might like."

Bucky gave him a doubtful glance but nodded for him to continue.

"There's To Kill a Mockingbird, Flowers for Algernon, the Wednesday Wars, and Where the Sidewalk Ends," said Sam. "They're fiction but they're also pretty good examples of what life was like during the times they were written. Except for Where the Sidewalk ends. That's a book of poetry."

"And they're all good?"

"The Wednesday Wars might be hard to get into because it was written more for kids but I wouldn't say they're all good. I hated reading To Kill a Mockingbird in school. I got through about half a chapter and was done with it."

"Then why suggest it to me?"

"Because you can't just read non-fiction to get to know a decade. The fiction part, the creative part, is just as important too. Besides, you might like the book anyways. Just promise me that you'll read one of them," said Sam.

Giving a small nod, Bucky replied, "Fine. But you have to listen to the Coon-Sanders Orchestra with me sometime or Irving Aaronson and His Commanders."

"Ah, come on. I bet they're from the thirties of something."

"Twenties actually, and if I'm trying book suggestions then you're going to have to try some music suggestions."

Sam put his hands up in surrender. "Alright, but one of these days you will listen to something a little more hip. If I can get Steve into some more recent music, then I'm sure I can do the same for you." he said with a laugh.


The next day, Sam convinced Natasha and Steve to sit down and watch a movie since they would be gone the next day for a still unknown amount of time. He said it was one of his favorite movies and Natasha agreed it was a good film. Steve tried to get Bucky to watch it but he declined.

However, when only about a sixth of the movie had gone by, Bucky had heard an interesting song being played. It was sung in Spanish and had an almost haunting tune to it causing him to move to the living room so that he could hear it more clearly.

Natasha, Steve, and Sam all noticed him but none of them said anything, waiting to see if Bucky would stay or not. When it became clear that he wasn't going to move from his spot in the doorway, Steve finally suggested he sit down. Bucky made a move towards his chair but before he could make it Natasha had jumped up and pulled him onto the three person couch.

Squished together but comfortable, Bucky watched the movie unfold. He hadn't missed much and so caught up pretty quickly. Apparently a choir boy had killed the Archbishop of New York but he claimed there had been someone else in the room.

The story centered on the lawyer and the boy himself. It was an older movie but it was still fascinating to Bucky when he compared it to the quality of films during his own time. Radio had been a big form of entertainment growing up as well so movies still felt fairly surreal to him.

When it became understood that the boy had a split personality, Bucky wasn't too surprised. Such a twist was certainly more dramatic than actually having a third man in the room. He continued to sit and watch it, enjoying the music as well.

Though he didn't appreciate some of the aspects of the film, overall it wasn't bad and maybe under different circumstances he would've enjoyed it even more. However, at the end, a connection was made that froze his heart.

It turned out the boy had never had a split personality and that he'd been playing the lawyer and the entire court the whole time. Immediately, Sam and Steve launched into discussion over that particular part. Bucky gave a small smile and said, "Good movie," before getting up and going, not wanting them to see how shaken he was.

Because all he could think of was Alexander Pierce, the most common face in decades of lies. In some small way, he'd been the most trusted person for Bucky at that time. Every sentence Bucky had taken as truth. Every word he'd lapped up, never questioning any mission or hidden motive.

He'd been played, controlled, tossed around like a puppet on a string just as the lawyer had been by the kid.

Bucky hadn't thought of Pierce in a while so it wasn't too surprising that his nightmare that night would center around the man.

When he awoke, it felt as if his heart had exploded, from the act of beating to fast. Pierce had given him the mission, described every aspect of it. Now his head was filled with screeching tires and blood. There was a woman and a man, splayed out on the road but he couldn't see either of their faces. Then there was Pierce, congratulating him on a job well done. The praise meant nothing now as he saw the two lives he had ended.

It took sometime before he felt the arms that were wrapped around his waist and had pulled him closer.

"Steve and Natasha already left," came Sam's voice before Bucky could panic about the absence of arms and legs.

Bucky stayed still, letting his heart settle down as he tried to align his breathing with the soft strokes that Sam was doing up and down Bucky's arm. Bucky couldn't tell if Sam was asleep or not but the words came out anyway.

"I didn't know them."

"Hmm?"

"The people in my dream. I can't remember them at all. They were probably married. Maybe even had a kid," murmured Bucky. "I killed two good people and I didn't even know them."

"Would knowing them make you feel any better?"

"I honestly am not sure."

Sam was silent for a moment. "A lot of Hydra's secrets are out there. We could try and find them if you want."

"Perhaps."

Bucky lay silently, listening to Sam's breathing until it became more even. He wondered what good learning anymore of his crimes would be. He couldn't help the people he had killed. He couldn't change the past. But likewise, he didn't really have a choice. Whoever those people in the car crash had been, he'd probably find out soon enough what with the way his memory sometimes worked.

He hadn't been able to tell what time period it had been though. Bucky could've known them. He hoped he hadn't.

With a sigh, he lay there, waiting until morning came and Sam finally awoke again.