4.
As we walked through the forest back to the car I had plenty of time to think about what had happened. Derek didn't say anything and seemed more concerned about getting me out of the forest than making conversation.
I could barely see anything. I'd taken his hand so he could help me navigate the near total darkness. The moon and stars were shining bright in the night sky but it was impossible to tell through the masses of tree branches embracing above us. My flashlight didn't make much of a difference and eventually he told me to turn it off because it was making it harder for him to see. So I found myself putting my complete trust in him.
I used the time to think of a way to make sure that the creature didn't hurt anyone else. Usually this would be when I called Scott and we brainstormed something together, but I felt like he wouldn't have any better ideas than leaving it alone. There was something sad about a creature that was constantly looking for light and warmth but could never find it. And when it did catch a brief glimpse of it everything fell to pieces.
Derek pulled me to the side as I almost walked into a tree branch. "Be careful," he snapped. I made a face at his back but didn't say anything. He was practically pulling me through the forest in his rush to get away from the creature. There was something frantic about his behavior.
Eventually the sky started to lighten and the lights in the parking lot became visible. Derek relaxed a little, though he kept on looking back into the woods. He barely let me get into the car before he accelerated off toward the hotel. I didn't say anything. So I wound up watching the scenery go by and trying to finish up my plan to deal with the creature.
He didn't say anything until we got back to the hotel room and locked the door. "I'm sorry I yelled at you. I didn't want anything to happen to you." He flopped down on the bed.
I laid down next to him. After a little fumbling I held his hand. "I don't want anything to happen to you either."
We both wound up passing out in exhaustion.
Sunlight filtered in through the window and woke me in the morning. I pulled myself away from Derek and went to clean up. By the time I was done he was still sleeping so I worked on trying to figure out how to get the creature to leave without hurting anyone else. I didn't think Derek would want to have anything more to do with it. Maybe I should have felt the same way. It had tried to kill my boyfriend after all. And yet it had only done it to touch something that it couldn't have. The thought of a creature that couldn't touch the thing that it desired most resonated with me.
Derek stirred in bed. If I explained it to him surely he'd understand. I wrote down a list of things we'd need in order for my plan to work. Thankfully they wouldn't be very expensive. This trip had already sapped more of my savings than I should have spent.
"What're you doing?" he asked out of the blue. He had rolled over on his side and was looking at me. I hadn't turned on any lights and had kept the shades mostly closed. It was hard to see him in the darkness. I knew he could see me perfectly.
"Making a shopping list." There wasn't any point in hiding it.
"For what? We're going home tonight aren't we?" He wasn't quite awake yet and could barely keep his eyes open.
"I want to go back to the woods tonight. I have an idea about how to take care of the creature."
That got him awake. He jerked up out of the bed and stormed at me. "You have a plan to what?!"
The key to handling Derek when he was like this was to act as if it didn't bother me. "I'm going to give the creature what it wants."
"So you're going to set the forest on fire?" He made a fist and banged it against the wall. "That thing is dangerous and I don't want you to get hurt." He winced. "I don't want to get hurt again."
"It scared you, didn't it? I didn't think anything scared you!"
He had pressed himself up against the wall by where I was sitting and was slowly sliding to the floor. "It almost killed me Stiles. I can't...I don't want to see it again."
I got up and walked over to him. "You don't have to come if you don't want to. I can handle it."
He reached a hand out for me. I took it. "I can't protect you if you do this," he said. His eyes were pleading with me to reconsider.
"You don't have to protect me," I said. "It's not going to hurt me. I'm going to give it what it wants."
At that point he knew there was no changing my mind. He let me help him up. "Tell me what the plan is."
It took a few hours to round up everything we needed. Once I'd told Derek that it didn't involve setting the forest on fire he was a lot more open to it. He also realized that I was going to do it no matter what he said or did.
There were a couple of hours left until sunset. We didn't speak about how to spend the time remaining to us. It sort of fell into place on its own. Maybe it started when I saw his shirt ride up and expose part of his back when he bent down to get the lighter fluid. Maybe it started when he saw me reaching for a lantern on the top shelf.
However it happened, by the time we got back to the hotel we were all over each other. The looming specter of death had overshadowed us all and made us cognizant of just how little time might be left. He pushed me down into the mattress by laying his whole body on top of me. I stared up into the ceiling as he kissed my neck. The thought that this could be the last time we'd do this was a lingering thought at the back of my head. He noticed and pulled to the side.
"Are you okay?" he asked.
"I'll be okay. I'm thinking about tonight."
A slight frown crossed his face. "Your plan is going to work. Don't think about that now."
I had to laugh at that. DEREK of all people was telling me not to worry. I kissed him then, kissed him as if I could never stop. He didn't do anything back. Finally I resorted to pushing on his shoulder to try and flip him over. Nothing. He was solid and immovable. I knew he'd never move unless he let me. Eventually he relented and I forced him over onto his back. Then I straddled him. He had a smile on his face that lit up the whole room. I loved moments like this when he didn't think too much-when he didn't dwell on things. That was when I could push him to do just about anything with no complaint.
I slipped my hand underneath his shirt. His skin was so warm and at my touch a shiver ran through his body. At the same time he was running his hands over my back trying to push us closer together. I wanted nothing more than to have this moment last forever. Even with imminent disaster looming over our heads I wouldn't have traded this feeling for the world.
Time passed in an instant however, and we were soon naked and drowning in the feeling of each other's skin. Derek was sitting on top of me. A few moments ago he'd guided my cock into himself. It had been torture feeling each inch slowly slide inside him. Even so it was a torture I could have endured over and over.
He had his hands propped on the bed right on either side of my head. The mattress sagged as he moved up and down on my cock. I had my hands on his hips trying to keep him to a steady pace instead of long agonizingly slow strokes that went nowhere.
When I first tried to touch his cock he pushed my hand away. Still that was a while ago, when he hadn't started to turn and he'd been able to open his eyes and look at me. Now he was almost too far gone into himself to know what was going on other than the feeling of up and down-pleasure never-ending. His eyes flashed red for the brief moment I saw them open. I could barely keep my own open but I couldn't miss the almost hypnotizing sight of seeing him so open and unreserved.
I took a chance and started to move my hand toward his cock again. It was hard and leaking. My fingers touched it gently before grabbing on firmly. The sound of the sheets ripping on either side of my head made me flinch and lose my grip. His claws were inches away from my face. It took a moment for him to notice and he moved them away quickly. He leaned down and kissed me, mumbling apologies into my mouth. I couldn't answer, I was concentrating on my breathing. The air didn't seem like it was reaching my lungs. And still I forced myself to reach out for his cock again. I touched him again. A low whine sounded at the back of his throat. He stopped moving for a moment, caught up in his own rising pleasure.
I stroked his cock harder, sloppily trying to get him to the same point I was at. My hands wouldn't do exactly what I wanted. He moved his hands next to me and it almost seemed like he wanted to touch me more but he didn't trust himself. His eyes were closed and he moved slowly on top of me, raising and lowering himself on top of me, panting hard with each thrust.
It all came to a head a moment or so later, he hissed and bared his fangs and then came. All the muscles in his body contracted in one last gasp. That brought me over the edge and I came with a strangled moan. He went almost boneless and laid down on top of me.
We laid in silence. The afternoon sun shone in through gaps in the blinds. I could see cars coming and going in the parking lot. And behind them the ever present forest lurked.
Derek slid off of me finally and slumped next to me in bed. He joined me in looking out the window. If I had wanted platitudes or declarations of love I knew that he wouldn't give me any. I would have found it hard to say anything myself. "When do we have to go?" he asked after an eternity of silence.
Time seemed to be omnipresent, the ticking of the clock above the broken television heralded the passing minutes. "When it starts to get darker. Then we can set it up and be ready for night fall."
After a few more minutes Derek got up slowly and walked to the bathroom. "I'm going to take a shower," he said. "You should too." He smiled at me. I practically jumped up to join him.
Later we walked back to the clearing in the woods. Nothing had changed from yesterday. It was harder to tell what was different when viewed in the daylight. The trampled trees and campfire remains were still there but now looked like they'd been there forever. It almost made me stop to reconsider whether or not I'd seen the creature last night at all.
Derek dropped most of the supplies down at the edge of the clearing and then made sure I had all the things that I needed. "You're sure you want to do this," he said, holding on to my hand. I looked away. He held on until I met his eyes again. "Because we don't have to do this. It's not going to hurt anyone else."
I looked at him then, hoping that I seemed more confident than I actually felt. "I want to make sure it doesn't happen to anyone else. I think this is the only way."
Derek let go slowly, finger by finger, and we started to set things up. It took longer than I thought to get everything ready. We'd made trails of lighter fluid that led to a large round glass vase that I'd found. I filled it with hand warmers and a lantern, so it was both hot and bright. I sealed it all inside the bowl with duct tape and cardboard, hoping and praying that it would hold. When I was finished I set it in the middle of the clearing almost directly on top of where the campfire had been.
Night was advancing rapidly. The clearing was growing darker with each passing moment. Derek and I had been using flashlights to guide ourselves around but once everything was set up we turned them off. All that remained was the faint light coming from the bowl. It gave off an otherworldly glow. We found our way back to each other and moved to the same hiding place as before.
"Do you think it'll come tonight?" I whispered to him. His eyes had changed color as he strained to see through the darkness.
"I can't tell. It feels like something's out there but I can't tell exactly where."
"Maybe you should set the flares now," I whispered, "Draw it in."
Derek nodded and then kissed me. It was all that I could have wanted for a goodbye kiss, deep and warm. "I'll be right back." He disappeared into the night.
I stayed where I was and tried not to make any noise. The forest was almost completely silent. There was only the faint sound of leaves blowing in the wind. There weren't that many stars out and the light only shown briefly through gaps in the trees. I tried to listen as hard as I could for him but no matter how hard I strained my ears I couldn't hear anything.
All of a sudden the ground was suddenly alight. Flares appeared on either side of the starting point for the lighter fluid. It only took moments for the lighter fluid to burst into flames. Flames spread along the lines we'd created, drawing the eye to the glowing glass vase. The flames rose higher and higher, lighting the edges of the clearing and making it seem like we were all surrounded by looming shadows that would consume us.
Derek didn't come back. As the minutes ticked by I started to get paranoid. Why didn't he come back? Had something stopped him? Had the creature caught him again? Or was he paralyzed with fear?
I almost didn't notice when something stepped into the clearing. I had to bite down on my hand to keep from screaming. Even though I'd seen it before nothing could have prepared me to see the creature again. Its slow moving hulking form shuffled along the ground trailing steps over the fire trails.
Each step it made put out a little more of the fire, releasing smoke and making it hard to see. Its gleaming eyes were almost manic in its desire. That horrifying mouth was open and its tongue dangled out, flapping with each step. It wanted to get to the source of the fire no matter the cost.
It took ages for it to actually reach the bowl and even then I wasn't sure if it would take the bait. The creature seemed more interested in stepping on all of the fire. The clearing was filling with the smell of ash and burning. I had to stifle a coughing fit.
Then, after a few minutes of it frantically rushing to touch every last corner of the clearing that might have had the memory of being aflame, the fire finally was out. All that was left was the glowing vase. The creature finally noticed it and started to advance toward it. It touched the vase hesitantly. I thought the vase might shatter when the heat and cold collided but it seemed like the creature could touch it. I watched as it shifted it with its claws to get a better grip. The vase teetered ominously, the creature's claws slipped on the glass. I wasn't sure if it would hold. It was making a horrendous noise that almost sounded like laughter. It held the vase close to its chest and swayed from side to side. The glow from the vase gave its face a sinister glow. I was suddenly aware of just how many sharp teeth it had in its mouth.
That joy only lasted a few moments. Smoke and water dripped from the creature's hands and it was starting to cry out in either agony or frustration. Its eyes were scanning the outskirts of the clearing in almost a frenzy. The slow shuffling gave way to a frantic sort of dancing as it bounded around the open space. The light spun around so fast making it seem like the fire had come back to life.
I pushed myself onto the ground as much as I could. Everything was going dark as the creature covered the vase with its hands. The creature held on to the vase tighter and tighter even as the heat was burning it away. It howled in what I thought was pain but could have been happiness. The smoke and steam started to overwhelm everything. It was hard to see what was going on. The only light came from the vase and was filtered through the creatures claws. I had to put my jacket sleeve over my mouth to keep from choking.
Suddenly it let out a great howl, equal parts pain and pleasure, and then was gone. The clearing filled with a foul smelling grey vapor that obscured everything. I almost wanted to cry. All I'd wanted to do was set it free and keep other people from getting hurt. Instead I'd killed it. And where was Derek?
A figure fought through the vapor with its arm over its face. It stopped and examined the spot where the creature had been. "Stiles, you can come out! It's gone!" Derek called out, then he bent over coughing.
I tried to pull myself up and walk to him but found that my hands had frozen in the dirt and I had to remember how to let go. When I got to my feet I walked over to him wobbling like a newborn foal.
Once I got to his side we grabbed hold of each other and hugged as hard as we could. There was nothing left of the creature, just a broken glass vase, a few dozen handwarmers, and a lantern with broken glass. Everything was covered with wet ash. Whether it was from the creature or from what it had destroyed was impossible to tell.
"We killed it." I said finally. My voice cracked. The thought sat in my stomach. I don't even know why I felt bad about it. How much did the creature even know about what it was doing?
To his credit Derek didn't say anything. He could have, he could have piled on the guilt by reminding me that it was all my idea. We could have gone away and left it alone. Instead we had destroyed it. I didn't know if I could forgive myself for what I'd done.
Derek drove us back to Beacon Hill. Ordinarily I didn't let anyone else drive my Jeep but I couldn't really face doing anything that required more concentration than putting one foot in front of the other. We didn't speak to each other the entire time. The road continued off into eternity.
When we got back to Beacon Hills I had Derek leave me and the Jeep at my dad's house. I needed some space and time away from him. It wasn't like before-when I couldn't touch him without seeing him bloody and bruised-now I just wanted to get away from myself. And I think on some level he knew it wasn't because of anything he'd done. I kissed him when he left, a normal regular kiss, and he held my hand as long as possible before walking away.
"I'll call you tomorrow," he said. I watched him walk away until he disappeared into the forest and was gone. There were many words that had to be said between us but now wasn't the time.
My dad didn't say much of anything when I first came in. He was generally of the opinion that I would talk when I needed to and that was all I needed. I went to my room and put up some of the clothes that I'd brought and sat down on my bed. Everything in my room felt like it belonged to someone else. It was all either too big or too small for me. It felt like I hadn't been here in ages.
After about an hour or so my dad came up and sat next to me. He looked like he wasn't quite sure whether or not he really wanted to talk to me at all, but his curiosity had gotten the better of him. "So am I right to assume that things didn't go right on your vacation?" he said, leaning forward to try and get me to look at him.
I met his eyes once and then looked away. "Have you ever really wanted to do something right but had it turn out wrong?" I asked. The question was stupid, of course he had. Everyone had those moments where good intentions went bad.
"Stiles, did you hurt someone?" His whole attitude started to switch from concerned father to sheriff interrogating a suspect. Now I definitely couldn't look at him.
"Sort of. There was a monster that really wanted to touch something hot so it could be warm. Derek and I gave it what it wanted. But it destroyed itself." When I said it like that he didn't really sound that bad at all. Why did it still hurt so much?
"A monster?" he said, scratching his head. Over the years he'd become a lot more accepting of how strange my life had become. "Did it hurt anyone?"
I had to cough to get the lump out of my throat. "Yeah, it hurt Derek. And it could have hurt someone else."
"So you set it on fire?!"
"No! Well it wouldn't have mattered because if it touched fire it put it out. We set something up so it could actually touch something warm. And it melted. But then it kind of seemed like it wanted to." Brief flashes of the strange dance the creature had done flashed before my eyes.
My dad stared at me with narrowed eyes for a while. "It sounds like maybe you gave it what it wanted. I wouldn't hold that against you." He patted me on the shoulder. "What did Derek say about it?"
"We haven't really talked about it." It was possible Derek wouldn't think about it the same way that I did.
"Maybe you should." He got up and looked out my window. "I don't know if that made you feel any better."
It really didn't but I managed a weak smile.
Derek was still asleep when I let myself into his apartment later. If Isaac and Peter were there they didn't come out of their rooms to see who it was. Most of the lights were off except for one underneath the cabinets in the kitchen. Unless I was there they usually didn't turn on any extra lights, it was easier for them to see that way.
He hadn't set up the screen around his bed so I could see a vague outline of his sleeping form lying there. While the scars had faded and disappeared I think he still wasn't back to his full strength or else he would have woken up as soon as I'd come in.
"Derek?" I asked, stepping closer. He stirred, blinking his eyes a few times before rolling over to look at me.
"Stiles?" he asked blearily. "I thought you were staying at your dad's."He pulled down the covers and made room for me next to him in bed. The brief glimpse I had of his body was a white expanse. He was naked. I shrugged off my jacket and kicked off my shoes before getting in bed with him. Once I was underneath the covers I took off the rest of my clothes. I could feel his eyes on me as he watched lazily. He didn't say or do anything as I started to run my hands all over his body, coaxing responses out of him that he wasn't able to fully control.
Derek was still groggy with sleep and he didn't resist as I rolled him over onto his back. As I cupped his cock with my hand he jerked completely awake and his eyes fastened on me. A slow smile had settled on his face and he gladly let me climb on top of him. Maybe we should have talked about things first. Right now I needed to feel like I was grounded, like we were grounded.
I smiled as Derek put his legs on either side of me and let me lower myself down on top of him. I pulled the covers up over us making a cocoon against the outside. Our cocks touched briefly and sprang to life. He didn't protest as I kissed him, harsh open mouthed kisses that threatened to destroy us. His fangs caught on my lips and I tasted the sharp metallic bite of blood. I didn't let him mutter any apologies, instead I wheedled moans out from his throat.
During a lull in the action I snatched the lube and a condom from his bedside table. He grunted in discomfort as I started to stretch him with my fingers. His claws rasped along my back. For a moment I almost wanted him to tear me apart. I had the thing I wanted most and it would destroy me. I moved my fingers in and out of him while kissing him slowly, hoping to loosen him up. After a minute or so of this he grabbed hold of me with his legs and rocked against me-all but begging me to continue. And I obliged, slowly removing my fingers and replacing them with my cock. His legs locked behind me and he pushed himself against me.
I kept things slow, letting each stroke flow through me and into him. He matched my pace, not pushing me to go faster for once. I settled into a steady rhythm, in and out, in and out. The brief glimpse I had of his eyes revealed they were still their true color. He was fighting the change as best he could. In truth I welcomed the pain he could cause when he was turned. I loved the feeling of his claws and fangs pinching my skin and breaking through it when he lost control. I would never tell him that though. If I did he might never let me touch him again.
Derek was whispering desperate pleas into my ear. Half of the words I couldn't understand, the rest were variations on a theme. So I stopped right when it seemed like we both were going to explode. I swear he almost sobbed in loss. Carefully I prodded him over onto his hands and knees. He moved quickly, breathing heavily in a haze of pleasure. I kissed his tattoo and then traced its outline with my tongue. He scrabbled for purchase in the sheets as I entered him again and continued the same pace we'd been keeping before.
His claws were threatening to shred the sheets underneath us. Instead he made his hands into fists, the claws making marks in his flesh. I gripped his thighs as tightly as I could. I lost myself in the feeling of him around me. Eventually he lost control of himself completely and dissolved in a howl beneath my touch. He came first. It took me a few more thrusts to join him.
We slowly pulled away from each other, savoring the long slide apart. We cleaned each other off as best we could. He pulled me closer and rested his head against my neck. I grabbed him back. "So why didn't you stay with your dad?" he asked eventually. Our breathing had long since returned to normal and the room was starting to feel cold again. I pulled the sheets and comforter tightly around us.
I took a while to think about my answer. "I needed to talk to someone uninvolved about what happened."
"You're still thinking about the creature, aren't you?" Derek's breath against my neck was a spot of heat in the chill.
"I guess I felt kind of guilty that we killed it." His grip around me tightened.
"What did your dad say about it?"
"He said that it was probably a good thing that it happened the way it did. It might have hurt someone else."
I could feel Derek nodding against me. "I think he's right," he said. "Try not to feel bad about it. For a moment there I almost thought it was happy."
"Yeah, it did seem that way. We're just lucky it didn't try to kill us." We held on to each other so tightly it almost started to hurt. A little of the guilt that had descended upon me started to leave.
"I'm glad that we can do this again," he said a few minutes later. His voice echoed in the nearly empty room. I thought he'd already gone to sleep.
There were a thousand things I could have said in response but they wouldn't have come out right. I settled for kissing him deeply and burrowing next to him.
A/N The creature is loosely based on the Groke from the Moomin stories by Tove Jansson
