Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha, although I wish I did cries.  Rumiko Takahashi does just to spite me, I know it!

Ok, this chapter (and the following ones too) is darker and for a while a least, it will get progressively more pessimistic. I'm sorry if this annoys you, but the recent death of friend has really pissed on my fireworks at the moment. Ho hum life goes on- or not as the case may be- but please try to bear with me. P.S- Watch out! I really like commas…

Also, I know I promised Fluffy, but he got stuck in traffic, so he can't be here until later…chapter 5 in fact, which is almost fully written. Expect it here by next week, mortals!

Review responses-

Palmtree-Epiphany- Don't worry, I definitely will be keeping it up and I hope that you like this chapter as much as the last.

madin-of-tv- Thanks for the support. It's nice to know that someone is really enjoying this.

megu-sama- Inuyasha already has some idea, but he will find out for sure in a later chapter.

Luna Chic799- There's more angst coming up, but I can only hope that it doesn't overshadow the plot. Please flame me if it does!

Kurokumo- Brief and to the point- thank you! J

what a scene- I love this kind of praise- keep it up please!

Tiger- Damn. I love this 'loving fan' thing…I'm gonna have an ego the size of a house pretty soon…

Anyway, come on ladies and gents! Let me know what you think, and I'll be able to improve this story! It's a win-win situation, ne?

Dying To Tell You

 

 

Chapter 4

I don't know how to live trough this hell
Woken up, I'm still locked in this shell
Frozen soul, frozen down to the core
Break the ice, I can't take anymore

Freezing
Can't move at all
Screaming
Can't hear my call
I am dying to live
Cry out
I'm trapped under the ice

Crystallized, as I lay here and rest
Eyes of glass stare directly at death
From deep sleep I have broken away
No one knows, no one hears what I say

Freezing
Can't move at all
Screaming
Can't hear my call
I am dying to live
Cry out
I'm trapped under the ice

Scream from my soul
Fate, mystified
Hell, forever more
No release from my cryonic state
What is this? I've been stricken by fate
Wrapped up tight, cannot move, can't break free
Hand of doom has a tight grip on me

Freezing
Can't move at all
Screaming
Can't hear my call
I am dying to live
Cry out
I'm trapped under the ice

Trapped Under Ice- Metallica

 

The next night, the creature was only a day away from it's destination, but Kagome's mental anguish over her murder of Sango was fraying it's nerves. Contrary to it's predictions, Kagome's soul was taking longer to die that it had expected and if the overly emotional miko didn't shut up soon, the creature would make good use of it's dagger. The girl's thoughts continued to buzz incoherently throughout the day's travel and the creature found itself looking forward to the quite oblivion of sleep.

Not long before the sun set, the creature decided to make camp in a small cave about three miles outside of a village it knew well named Kofu. At Kagome's insistence, the creature was forced to go and catch a young rabbit for dinner- which didn't prove too difficult- but it did take too long to cook; the creature knowing that the fire would attract unwanted attention. However, the meal passed without incident, and eventually the creature extinguished the small blaze and settled down to rest as the stars wheeled overhead.

It couldn't have been more than two hours later before the creature awoke. It seemed to be because of a noise or lack thereof that it had been disturbed, but whatever the cause, it was now wide awake and very much alert. The cicadas that had been droning on for hours had fallen silent and even the distant nocturnal bird calls had ceased. So, expecting attack, the creature reached out with Kagome's senses to see what enemy it might face.

The world turned a deep shade of blue to it's eyes, but every living thing in it seemed to be made of animate flame, form violets and vibrant greens to scarlet depending on the strength of it's spirit. It appeared there was in fact a threatening force approaching, represented in her mind as a deep orange smear heading quickly towards the camp. To Kagome, it didn't seem threatening at all, but then it is difficult to be wary of an orange blob of colour in your head.

'A youkai?' Kagome thought calmly.

'A nekoyoukai,' the creature replied, 'and quite powerful it would appear. A formidable opponent.' The creature's last statement had just served to make Kagome more nervous, whereas before she had been relaxed and rather dispassionate.

In the last two days since her possession, Kagome had found her thoughts and emotions swamped as the creature's essence coiled around her soul ever tighter. Although her grief over Sango continued to consume her thoughts, at times, she struggled to get her feelings above the level of bored nonchalance making Kagome wonder if this was the creature's way of maintaining control…But did she really care?

Yes! She did care! Kagome Higurashi had a full range of emotions and she was damn well going to use them! Ok, step 1: Nekoyoukai. Remorseless killer who probably wants the Shikon shards. Let's start with terror, that's easy enough.

'What are you doing?' the creature snapped irritably as it felt Kagome becoming anxious. Her escalating emotions were distracting it's attention from the approaching youkai and although it was confident of victory, it would have like to be able to sense exactly where the youkai was.

'I'm taking control,' Kagome thought defiantly- more so than she felt actually- and continued to attempt to frighten herself in the hopes of it overpowering the creature's hold. In theory, that should be too difficult as she had always managed to get scared out of her wits during battles whilst still with Inuyasha. Now she was alone…almost.

The creature laughed mirthlessly, 'I hardly think now is the time to try to take control, girl. That is unless you want to be torn to shreds by the youkai searching for us?'

Kagome couldn't reply. What the creature said was true enough; it would be foolish to try to fight the youkai herself when the creature had proved it had more control over her powers than Kagome herself did, however now was the perfect time to try. Her idea that emotions were the key to her freedom had more or less been confirmed by the creature and terror seemed to be a strong enough one to overpower it's essence and an emotion of which she had plenty to spare…

But you know that facing the youkai alone is suicide, a voice in the back of her head warned.

What's the difference! Another voice almost screamed, I would rather die now than lose my soul.

Even as Kagome's internal conflict raged on, the creature could just about sense the youkai and it would be mere moments before it reached the cave. Time was running out and if the girl wouldn't let it focus on the enemy willingly, it would have to take a chance and use a dangerous amount of energy to temporarily block the mental link between them before the battle.

You lose, it thought grimly.

Inuyasha left Musashi and followed Kagome's scent west at a speed that even he couldn't maintain for much more than a day. Although the journey back to Kaede's village had delayed Inuyasha considerably, he and Miroku had known that if they had not taken Sango back to the care of the aging miko quickly, she would have surely died that night.

Miroku looked up at him with desperate eyes. "We have to get her back to the village," he said quietly. Inuyasha was torn. He knew that Miroku would not be able to get Sango back to Musashi in time without Kirara, but the delay could mean the difference between Kagome's life or death.

"Look, houshi, I-" he began.

"She's going to die, Inuyasha."

"I don't want anything to happen to Sango either, but Kagome's out there alone!" Inuyasha snapped, instantly feeling guilty.

"I know that," Miroku replied, his emotions barely held in check, "but Sango will die if we don't get her to Kaede soon. You must believe in Kagome-sama and trust that she will be alright."

Inuyasha looked at Miroku for a moment. It was strange, but in times of stress or pain the real houshi showed himself. He was a man who, beneath the charmingly perverted exterior, had a surprising amount of depth and wisdom to boot. Every now and then he would spout something really profound and rare occasions, give truly enlightened advice. But not today.

Today he was just some boy in love with a girl...today he was helpless.

"Alright, bouzou," Inuyasha said and smiled slightly, lifting Sango out of Miroku's lap. He would believe in Kagome and she would be alright. She had to be.

So, Inuyasha had raced west to make up for lost time. Earlier that day, an atmospheric shift that he had felt heralding heavy rain proved accurate when it began to pour a few hours after sun set. Even so, he continued the gruelling pace well on into the night chasing Kagome's fading scent. It wasn't far now.

The youkai has approached Kagome's camp as if attempting an ambush, unaware of the possessed miko lying patiently in wait, hidden by night's shadow. It crept into the small clearing directly in front of the cave warily, ready to spring into defence at the slightest sign of danger, but obliviously springing a trap the creature had set up just before it's arrival. Ofudas scattered along the tree line would prevent the youkai's escape even if it was attempted, but the creature was confident that such measures would in the end prove unnecessary. It watched the nekoyoukai sniff the air, trying to locate Kagome's scent and smirked at the futility of it's actions. The youkai would discover no scent, however there was a chance that it might sense the Shikon shards. Only time would tell.

"Come out, ningen!" the youkai called, obviously having given up on trying to pick out the creature's concealed scent, "I know you're there!"

The creature's smile didn't touch Kagome's eyes as it stood up and dusted off the kimono it had taken from Sango. Stepping out into the moonlight outside the cave it replied, "What makes you think I am human?"

The youkai snarled at the sight of her, "Although appearances can be deceptive, a ningen is what you appear to be." The nekoyoukai was male; and judging by his accent, was of high breeding. And powerful too, the creature thought. "Nevertheless, I can sense power. You carry shards of the infamous Shikon no Tama, do you not?"

"What business is it of yours?" the creature asked blandly.

The youkai simply grinned, "Now, they are mine," he replied, drawing his sword.

"Well in this particular instance," the creature said as Kagome's right hand began to glow with a faint blue light, "you are incorrect."

The nekoyoukai said nothing more but snarled again as he began his attack, swinging his sword at head height. The creature only just managed to dodge the blow that would have severed Kagome's neck and as the youkai staggered forward a few steps carried by his own momentum, it took the opportunity to hit the youkai with a blast of energy aimed at the centre of his back. The youkai crumpled to his knees under the force of Kagome's purifying energy but was back on his feet within moments and seemingly recovered. "Bitch!" he hissed as he recommenced his attack.

Spin, slash, block, parry. His attacks and retreats were balanced with the creature's and neither had the upper hand for long. For every one of the youkai's attacks, the creature countered with a blast of energy or a shield made from raw power as a defence against his blade. But eventually, Kagome's body began to tire and the creature knew it had to end things soon, feeling the beginnings of rain.

"Do you give up yet, human?" the youkai asked breathlessly.

"No, not yet," it replied wearily as the heavens opened.

When Inuyasha was finally overcome by exhaustion and absolutely soaked to the skin, he was still hours behind Kagome. Almost a days' head start and a confusingly faint scent trail had given her one hell of an advantage- it was almost as if she didn't want to be found.Yeah, whatever. That was just stupid! Why wouldn't Kagome want to be found? Probably for the same reason she hurt Sango, a little voice in the back of his head muttered. Inuyasha scrunched up his face in annoyance; he didn't want to think about that now. There was too much to do, but when he found that little baka they could all sit around a fire and analyse this stupid situation just like they always did.

But what about Sango? Was she ok now? Was she still even alive? And Miroku…Inuyasha didn't want to have to deal with him if anything happened to her. He'd probably turn that damn Kazaana on himself. He shook his head violently to clear it of such morbid thoughts and used the last of his strength to spring into the nearest tree. Just a little rest, he thought, flopping down and sprawling along the branch. But no one ever has 'just a little rest' do they?

The youkai had underestimated the creature and paid the price by losing his sword. A well aimed attack had sent the blade flying outside the influence of the creature's ofuda forcing the youkai to use his claws, but even so, this youkai was proving to be a greater opponent than it had initially thought. Of course it would be so easy to let the youkai kill this host, but finding another as powerful as Kagome could take decades and revenge could only wait so long. Kagome's defences were weakening and before this month was over, her soul would die, never to be reborn and go screaming into the void, blinking out of existence. For this, the creature would have to be patience itself.

The youkai had been waiting for his enemy's focus to slip in order to attack the girl effectively, biding his time until she slipped up and he had his chance. And now this was it. It was now or never he realised as he saw her movement slow and almost falter blocking his claws with her power. With a final burst of energy, he thrust his other hand at her unprotected abdomen, claws dripping with poison.

They tore through Kagome's flesh as if she had no substance at all and she screamed so loudly that the creature echoed her agony. It had never expected to lose… And now she was paying the price with her life. How farcically sad it was that for the last three years, Kagome had risked her life beside Inuyasha week-in-week-out only to bleed to death in the rain within a day of being separated from him. Even after the creature's possession of her body, Kagome had never truly believed that she would die any time soon, after all, Inuyasha had always saved her before so why not this time? Except this time Inuyasha wasn't here. The creature had covered her scent almost completely and it would take him another few hours at least to finally track her down, but by that time, she would be dead and the shards gone; stolen by the arrogant youkai. Mou, weren't all youkai arrogant though?

Time was running out for the creature. Kagome's body was dying; the youkai's poison already working its way through her system and if it didn't act soon, the demon would take the shards. It couldn't allow that to happen. The shards, even these few around the miko's neck, would be a formidable weapon in the creature's hands and a valuable asset to it's plan.

Now or never.

Kagome's body had crumpled beneath her weight as the wound across her stomach had caused her to go into shock. The creature snatched at the youkai's clothing as her host fell, pulling him down with her and making him land painfully on the bloody gash that was now horribly staining Sango's torn kimono. 

"Now will you give up, ningen?" the youkai asked, pulling himself up onto all fours to lean above her, smirking.

"Hmm, I'm not sure…" it replied, trying to distract the youkai with Kagome's pointless sarcasm as it began to form a last ditch plan. "Let me just way up the pros and cons."

"Enough!" the youkai growled. "Now you will die."

Although it would use up the last of Kagome's purifying energy, this was the only way. So, before the youkai's final strike, the creature began to focus all of the remaining energy into Kagome's right hand, building and building on it until it was sure that Kagome could hold no more. Then, with a controlled release, the creature let the energy go and formed it into a dagger much like the one carried by it's previous host. Now, in her hand rested a double edged blade of pure light.

Kagome was right. The creature had never expected to lose and now it wouldn't have to.

With a quick movement, faster than the youkai could register, the creature sheathed the purifying dagger deep into his flesh. At first, the youkai's expression remained the unchanged; glittering eyes and a smirk of triumph, but that quickly shifted and Kagome shuddered at the look of terror as the youkai realised what was happening. The blade was purifying his demonic blood and he was going to die.

Through the newly reopened mental link, Kagome could clearly sense almost glee at the creature's victory and pleasure in watching the youkai die. It was a complete monster, she realised.

Before the youkai's strength finally gave up and he collapsed on top of Kagome's weak and injured frame again, the creature shoved him over and he slumped onto his back beside her and died silently.

"Bastard," the creature muttered thickly as it lay in the mud, soaked to the skin by the heavy rain. It closed Kagome's eyes against the downpour, resting a shaking hand against the bloody wound and waited for her to die. 

Ok, so I guess this isn't that long and a bloody long time in coming, but I've lined up several really good excuses, honest!

Anyway, coming up in the next chapter, there'll be a glimpse of the past with Fluffy and someone named Kirei.

Also, Inuyasha finally catches up with Kagome- with some interesting results…