The Morning After


The warm rays of the sun awoke her as she shifted within his arms, at first not remembering what had happened, or that she was back in his arms. Safe, and warm. She groaned, and opened her eyes the blurry vision starting to clear up as a yawn escaped from her lips. She noticed who was holding her, and sat bolt upright, and pressed the blankets to her chest. She couldn't believe what had happened. She had just allowed him back into her life, and now he had the opportunity to leave, and break her again. She felt the impending tears starting to well up in her eyes, and blinked trying to hold them back, as she looked down at him. Her fingers reached out, and rested on his chest tracing across the perfect form of his body, and she bit her bottom lip.

She watched as he started to stir against her fingers, and pulled her hand back, as he turned on the bed. She was never going to forgive herself for this one, and she didn't know what to think. She was trembling with fear, as she watched his eyes flicker open, and he rubbed at them yawning, and sat up. She leaned back against the backboard cling to the blankets that were covering her. She felt embarrassed to let him see her naked, even after what they had done the night before. She allowed a sigh to escape her lips, and searched his eyes trying to read them, so she could think of something to say.
"Justin I-" Her words were cut off, and she couldn't even speak as she watched him lift his finger to her lips to silence her.

"It doesn't matter Alex, I am not going anywhere" He promised her giving her his heart, and willed her to trust him this time. She wanted to believe him badly, but she didn't know if she could. The memories of pure hate that had flooded his eyes the day he had left screaming how much he hated her, and left her to cry in hysterics on the floor. She wished it were that easy, and she wished that she could trust him, like she used to, but she felt like she had grown so much, and she didn't think she could do that again. At least not for a little while.
"I can't...I can't just love you again, and have everything be alright, it isn't that simple" She was shaking her head, and lifted his hand which had progressed to stroking her strands of hair, and kissed it softly, and she heard the sound of her dog Buster in the living room running around, and she figured he was hungry, and needed food, "Just give me some time Justin...Please..." She whispered, pleading with her eyes, and she dropped his hand, and watched it fall to the bed. He looked defeated, and could tell he was still in pain. She pulled the sheet off the bed, and wrapped it around her body walking to her closet, and she pulled out a pain of shorts, and a pink tank top, and pulled them on maneuvering the blanket the best she could as she finally dropped it when she was finished, and she could see the perplexed look on Justin's face from the charade, and she placed her hands on her hips, "Don't look at me like that!" She pouted, and walked out of the room, and his eyes followed her. She walked into the living room, and glanced at Buster who was racing in circles around the coffee table, and she shook her head, "You hungry boy!" She asked, and he barked looking up at her wagging his tail.

She walked into the kitchen, and stood on her tiptoes to reach the dog food, and pulled it out pouring Buster some of his favorite food, and he immediately shoved her out of the way gobbling it down as if he hadn't eaten in ages. Well he probably hadn't eaten since he had stolen her sandwich, but this was also normal for him regardless. She shook her head, and walked back to the cupboard replacing it, and closed the door. She saw Justin hobbling into the room clutching at his ribs that she could see were bruised, and she rushed to his side forcing him to sit on the couch.

"Oh no you don't, you are on bed rest!" She told him immediately starting to take charge of the situation. She hadn't been in charge much in her life, but right now, she wasn't going to risk Justin straining himself anymore then he already was. She looked at him, and he looked up at her.

"Well thanks mom" He teased, and she shook her head.

"I just don't want you to hurt yourself!" She explained, and he nodded a smirk crossing his features.

"But you will allow me to have sex with you" He said, and she felt a hot blush creeping across her cheeks as he spoke. He could always get to her no matter what it was he said, or did. She always felt so damn weak when she was with him, and her heart was already racing.

"Not anymore you aren't!" She told him, and shook her head, "That was a mistake..." She allowed her voice to trail off, and she shook her head walking away from him trying to hide her clear embarrassment at her own actions, and she could see him shaking his head as he laid back against the couch wincing from the pain. She didn't speak, just walked to the bathroom, and threw water on her face looking into the mirror. Every part of her heart, and soul was pulling her directly back into his arms, but every part of her conscious mind was telling her not to fall for it. She couldn't be wit him, again. It wasn't something that was wise, or smart. She was bound to have her heart broken, and she knew that she wasn't going to be able to handle that.

She let out a small sigh, and wiped the water from her face with the towel, and walked back out of the bathroom, and walked towards the kitchen, and pulled open the door to the fridge, and started digging inside of it for a few seconds, before she closed it, and put the contents of eggs, and bacon, and sausage onto the counter. She started to prepare the breakfast like she did every morning, completely ignoring Justin. She feared him right now, and she heard the sound of her dog whimpering, and rolled her eyes, "No Buster, not right now" She said knowing he wanted to be walked, and also to pick off the food she was making. He walked away with his tail between his legs, and she finished preparing breakfast, and put it all on two plates walking back to the couch she handed one to Justin.

"Here, eat up" She said, and he sat up looking at her his usual smirk on his features, but he didn't speak. She didn't comment on his smirk, but simply crossed the room, and sat down on her own chair looking over at him for a few seconds slowly eating. She was starved, but she didn't feel much like eating, simply because her stomach was in knots, and she felt slightly ill. She forced herself to eat it all though, and eventually leaned against the chair putting her plate down, and observed him finishing as well. He placed it down on the table, and looked at her.

She wasn't entirely certain what to say to him. Speaking appeared totally out of the question simply because she didn't know what they were going to do. She didn't want to drag him into her life just so he could push her away again. She feared that if she slept he would leave, and she wouldn't see him again. Every second she was awake she was watching him, and the entire night she had dreamed of his leaving her again. She couldn't have a happy medium in a world with him in it. He had broken her, and now that he was back her mind couldn't settle.

"How long?" She asked after several minutes of dead silence.

"How long till what?" He asked her his eyebrows furrowed as he looked into her eyes trying to play stupid like he always did.

"How long until you leave again?" She didn't dare look at him, she couldn't, "How long until you tear me to pieces, and leave me there to die?" She was unable to stop her eyes from tearing up as she leaned against the couch. As much as she wanted to not cry again in front of him she was quickly losing the battle. He had broken her heart, and now she knew that there was the constant worry that he could easily do it again.

He shook his head looking at her as she sobbed, and he immediately stood walking to her side, and slid an arm around her, "I didn't mean to hurt you, I wanted you to have a life away from me, to at least try to be without me!" He told her shaking his head, "I just don't know what to do anymore Alex...I don't!" He told her.

She turned away from him her world was crashing apart, and she stood rushing from the room, and slammed the door to her bedroom sobbing as she leaned against it. She needed time. She needed to cool off, and she couldn't believe he had just said what he did.


AN: I might add to this chapter later :) REVIEW PEOPLE :D NO ONE IS REVIEWING . Do you like? Yes? No? Maybe? XD