As always, I really appreciate your reviews.
There will be mentions of a case here, it will serve a purpose later, but this fic is not about mysteries, I like that it is more emotional (you are more than welcome to check out my new fic 'Uncovering', it has plenty of suspense, in my opinion).
After finishing the food Nick called his mother, Zara went back to her room to get dressed and he took the opportunity to give her a little update on her. Not that he really had an idea about how she was doing, she barely said anything and only ate half of the sandwich.
"Yeah…we will go for a walk, maybe we will come by…I'll ask her but she knows you're coming over for dinner" Nick smiled at her next question "we have leftovers, you don't have to bring anything mom…I'll call you later"
Zara walled out of the room "you ready?" he asked her and put the phone in his back pocket. Zara nodded and Nick grabbed Frannie's leash.
"Let's go honey" he said.
They walked to the park in silence, Nick hated it. He hated that he had no idea what to say. When he first saw her in LA, her eyes puffy from crying, he felt like his hug was enough, like that was what she'd needed. But now she was so quiet and distant, giving short replies, not making eye contact, barely eating. She was only twelve, just a little girl.
She played with Frannie at the park for a while and Nick stayed close to them until his phone rang and he saw it was Bella.
"Just a sec, ok Zara?" he walked a little further, close enough to see her but far enough so she wouldn't hear the conversation "Bella" he answered.
"How is she doing?"
"She is…quiet" he didn't want to lie but wasn't sure telling her everything right now would be the best thing.
"I see" he tried not to read too much into it "I have some news about the funeral"
"Oh" he saw Zara sitting on the ground, Frannie lay down next to her and rested her head on the girl's leg.
"Do you want me to text it to you or do you have a pen to write it down?"
"A text would be great" he said "we're outside right now"
"Can I talk to her?" she asked.
"Of course, just a second" he was about to walk back to Zara.
"Listen Nick, there's something else" he stopped to listen "I've talked to Roberto and….we have something to ask…you're Zara's father…but if you could…"
Cesaria made Zara pancakes but she only had one and watched TV. Nick and his mother exchanged a worried look.
"You sure you don't want me to bring dinner? Something Zara likes?"
"It's ok, mom, I don't think food's what's going to make her feel better right now" he shrugged.
"I know Nicky, but what about you and Amanda? You're eating all this takeout…" he smiled, when Amanda and Nick first moved in together Cesaria thought he would have homemade food everyday, she barely knew Amanda then, and was a little surprised when Nick laughed at that idea. His mother always pictured him with a different type of woman, someone who would stay at home and raise their kids, especially after Maria and he broke up. He told Amanda about that and she got a bit concerned that Cesaria would feel like she was wrong for her son. Knowing how much Nick cared about his mother she didn't want to be a strain in their relationship.
But Cesaria and Amanda got along very well, not that they were close, but he knew they liked each other. His mom just wanted to see him happy and she could tell Amanda had that effect on him, everything else didn't matter.
"It's ok mom" he knew she'd make something anyway and he gave her a kiss on the cheek.
"Fried chicken"
"What?" Amanda raised her eyes at Neal, they've just gotten back to the station from a crime scene and she wasn't sure what he was talking about.
"For lunch, fried chicken" he repeated before sitting down.
"Fine, whatever" she looked at her computer screen.
"You should really sound more enthusiastic Rollins, I'm talking about the real thing, the kind your mother would make"
"Aha" she gave him a quick nod, not bothering to share her mother's non existing cooking skills, or her sheer lack of will to try "if you were half excited about your job like you are about food…" she smiled.
"You sound like the captain" he laughed "and as I told her, food is good, murder is not"
Amanda rolled her eyes at him "food is good, murder is not? Very philosophical"
"I appreciate the little things in life Rollins"
"Since when? And please don't answer" she smiled, not ready for a lecture.
"Got our victim's record, drug charges" he handed her the file.
"One charge five years ago? I doubt it has anything to do with his murder" she placed it on the desk "I'll call the bank to get his financial record"
"I'll call the credit card company" he said.
Amanda was about to make the call when she got a text from Nick, he let her know his mom would bring them dinner and Amanda smiled, was food on everyone's mind right now?
They had spent a few more hours at Cesaria's before returning home. Zara went to her room to rest a while and Nick decided it was the best time to start looking into the schools in their area. He called Benson and gave her a quick update on Zara, he needed more time with her and she assured him there was no rush, he had to take care of his daughter.
After hanging up Nick walked around in the living room, Frannie watched him for a few moments and decided to join him, walking next to him. Nick patted her, at least Zara seemed to like having the dog close, maybe it was the fact she wasn't human that brought some kind of solace to the girl.
Nick sat down on the couch and turned on the TV, he couldn't concentrate on any program and soon fell asleep, holding the remote.
It felt as if he didn't get any sleep at all but when he opened his eyes Nick realized it's been a few hours, he could hear noises coming from the kitchen and turned around.
"I don't know hon, we'll ask your dad later, ok?" Amanda said, she was leaning on the counter, holding a cup of coffee and looking at Zara who was standing next to her.
"I liked my old school" she said.
"Yeah?" Amanda smiled and tried to straighten some of the girl's ruffled hair "what did you like about it?"
"My friends"
"You can call them and there's facebook and even letters" she grinned, thinking that Zara must thing about non electronic mail as something prehistoric.
Hearing Zara making full sentences made Nick smile, he quietly got up from the couch and joined them in the kitchen.
"What are you two talking about?" he ruffled the hair Amanda had tried to fix just a moment ago.
"The postal service" Amanda smiled at him.
"Neither snow nor rain…" Nick started.
"It's really exciting to get a letter in the mail" Amanda continued "I'm sure your friends would be surprised"
Zara seemed unsure "I never got a letter in the mail, did I dad?" she turned to Nick.
"I don't remember honey"
"I don't know" she shrugged "it takes way too long"
"That's half of the fun, the wait" not that she had gotten anything except for bills in the mail.
"I can just text them" Zara decided and walked to her room after Nick told her it would be ok.
Nick waited for the door to close behind Zara before he turned to Amanda "was that a conversation?"
Amanda chuckled "she just asked me when she's gonna go back to school"
"I made a few calls, her school has to send her records…I'm glad she wants to go back to school" Amanda caressed his arm and washed the cup.
"I need to tell you something" he said.
"What is it?" Nick handed her a towel.
"Bella called me, the funeral's on Friday" he looked at her and she nodded "and well…she asked me if you could not come with us"
"Ok, I get it, it would be weird…you wanted me to go?" she gave him a questioning look.
"I don't know…I just don't like her telling me not to bring you"
"I think it's best if I don't go, you need to be there for Zara, it's no big deal"
"Yeah, you're right" he still had an uneasy feeling in his stomach, she was probably right, going to his ex-wife's funeral with his girlfriend…sounds more like a scene from a soap opera.
"You're gonna drive there?"
"Yeah, I need to pick up more of Zara's stuff and they want to spend some time with her…I don't know if there's enough room for all of her things"
"We'll figure something out" she gave him a quick kiss and smiled at him.
"Yeah, we should set the table, my mom would be here pretty soon"
Cesaria made lasagna, a dish Zara liked. Nick told her about the funeral, but asked her not to say a word, he wanted to tell Zara later, maybe he was hesitant about bringing it up. Zara's short conversation with Amanda cheered him up a little, she looked calmer.
They all ate together and it felt nice, Amanda did frown at him twice, he stared at Zara when she got quiet and Amanda just wanted him to relax. After Cesaria had left Nick couldn't put it off anymore and he told her.
"Ok" she said quietly after Nick had told her about the funeral
"We will get there earlier so you could see your cousins, ok?"
"Yeah" she looked at him "can I go to bed now?"
"You're tired?" it was still early "you want to take Frannie for a walk?"
Zara shook her head and Nick gave her a kiss before she walked to her room.
"Crap" Nick whispered to himself, Amanda was in their bedroom, giving Zara and him some privacy.
"Well?" she asked when he walked in.
Nick sat down next to her and sighed.
"Just give her space" she moved to sut closer to him, placing her hand over his.
"Space? She's twelve she doesn't need space" his voice was a bit harsh.
"She doesn't need you staring at her waiting until she's magically all better" she moved her hand and placed it on his shoulder, adding with a softer voice "it's ok for her to be sad"
"I just hate seeing her like this, like she's not my little girl"
"I know" Frannie walked into the bedroom, ready for her walk. Nick shook his head at Amanda, letting her know Zara wasn't joining them.
"See you later" she gave him a quick peck and turned to Frannie "good girl" she patted her "let's go"
Nick and Zara left for DC on Thursday. By then they had already visited Zara's new school and it was determined she would start Monday. Nick was happy about it, he figured the sooner things start going back to normal the better. The distractions of friends and homework would take her mind off things.
It would be good for Nick as well, he needed to get back to work.
Being back at Maria's parent's house felt weird, he hasn't been there since they left to LA and seeing it now it felt so strange.
Bella was happy to see Zara and offered him something to drink before he went back to his hotel, the plan was to let Zara spend the night with her grandparents and be with her at the funeral on Friday.
"Zara! You are so beautiful" Nick turned to see Christina, one of Maria's sisters "give me a hug honey"
Zara gave her aunt a long hug and when they pulled away Christina offered to braid her hair "is that ok?" she asked Nick.
"Sure, I'll be up soon to say goodbye"
The two of them walked upstairs and Nick finished his water.
"Do you want to take the boxes now? I've labeled everything"
"Yes, I think it's best if I put it in the car now, thank you" Nick placed the boxes with Zara's things in the trunk, he just hoped there would be room for all of it in the house"
"You're all done?" Bella asked when he was back a few minutes later.
"Yeah, I'm gonna go upstairs and say goodnight to Zara before I go"
Nick was familiar with the house so he knew where they would be. He could hear voices coming from the room and stopped to listen.
"This looks nice princess" Christina said, probably talking about the hairdo "you like it?"
"It's pretty"
"You're pretty!" it was quiet for a moment and Nick was about to come in when Christina said something else "so you like your daddy's new girlfriend? What's her name?"
"Amanda, she's fun" Nick smiled at Zara's reply, it wasn't the first time she'd said that about her.
"Fun?" Christina didn't sound impressed "what kind of fun?"
Nick could only hear what was going on so he had no idea what Zara was doing, she must have done something because it got quiet.
"She's fun, and she's funny and pretty and I love her dog Frannie, she is the cutest dog" her voice got excited talking about the dog.
"So you like her?" Christina asked.
"Frannie is great"
"I mean Amanda, do you like her?"
"Yeah" she answered "she's really fun"
"But you know…" the smiled Nick had hearing his daughter talk about Amanda faded as soon as Christina continued the sentence "she's not your mom, right?" it was quiet again and Nick could almost see the confused look Zara was giving her aunt "you know she's not replacing your mother, I mean she's just your dad's girlfriend, she's not your family, you don't have to…"
"Hey Christina" Nick just had to interrupt, he couldn't let her say another word about Amanda.
