Later that day, Charlotte and I were ready to go home when Derek appeared at the door.
"I'm still going to be here a while," he said as I lifted Charlotte up.
I nodded.
"Are you going to be late?" I asked.
He shook his head.
"Couple of hours, no later though," he answered. He then leaned down and kissed Charlotte's forehead, then he kissed my lips. "Don't wait up,"
I smiled.
We arrived home and Charlotte was half asleep.
"Do you want to come to bed with me?" I asked her.
She nodded.
We walked upstairs; the house was empty and quiet, it was so quiet that it was like the calm before the storm. For a moment I wished that some noise would return and for something to ease the slightest bit of discomfort I had in the silence.
As we entered the room Charlotte eased out of my arms and wandered over to the bed, lightly tracing the edge of the quilt before she climbed under it.
"Hang on and I'll get you some pyjamas," I walked over to the laundry hamper and grabbed her clothes. As I changed her I noticed her expression didn't change from the same sad face. "Baby, what's wrong?" I pulled her up onto the bed, into my arms. "I need you to tell me what is bothering you,"
Charlotte looked up at me, tears glistening in her eyes.
"You're not my real mommy…are you?" she asked.
My heart broke when those words escaped her mouth.
"No, I'm not…" I sighed.
"So you don't love me like a real mommy?" she questioned.
I felt tears escaping my eyes.
"Who told you that?" I asked her.
"Nathan from school…" Charlotte answered.
"Charlie, let me tell you something honey," I sighed. "I love you very much and so does daddy; it's true, that we are not your real parents, but honey, deep down, we are your true parents; and Izzie and George and Cristina love you very much too!"
Charlotte smiled.
"You are everything to all of us Charlie, and we will never stop loving you okay!" I told her.
She nodded and put her head on my shoulder.
"Time for bed," I said to her.
I put Charlotte to bed and wandered back to the bedroom where I lied down on Derek's pillow to breathe in his scent. But it wasn't before too long that he arrived back home.
"Hey," he said softly as he leaned down to kiss me.
"Hey," I answered. "So…I've found the problem with Charlie; Nathan at day care told her that indeed, you and I are not her parents,"
"That little snot rag!" Derek exclaimed. "Well, I think I'll need to have a word with his father,"
"No you don't," I sighed.
"We're taking her out of day care and getting another nanny," Derek told me. "I won't have some gaudy little tyrant tormenting my daughter!"
I smiled at him and put my hands on his chest.
"Don't worry okay," I kissed him. "She's tough; and I am sure someone will teach her to kick his ass one day,"
"And if she doesn't I will," Derek answered.
I laughed.
"Go and say goodnight to your daughter," I told him.
He got up out of bed, as did I, when he entered the room I stood at the door and leaned against the frame. He walked over to the bed and I watched him lean down and kiss her forehead; his eyes were filled with love like I'd never seen before; emotions that only he could feel; a connection never to be broken.
Charlotte rolled over and opened her eyes.
"Daddy…" she whispered.
"Hey baby…" Derek said quietly. He rubbed her cheek. "Did you have a bad day?"
She nodded and sniffled.
"Tomorrow is a new day princess," Derek smiled. "Sweet dreams," he leaned down to give her a kiss. "I love you,"
I walked over and sat on the edge of the bed.
"And I love you," I smothered kisses all over her face. "Goodnight sweetie,"
"Goodnight mommy, goodnight daddy," Charlotte replied softly.
"Goodnight princess," Derek said as he and I left the room.
I walked back into the bedroom where I crawled under the covers and waited for him to follow suit. When he climbed under the blanket I put my arms around him.
"You are a wonderful mom," he said into my ear. "And for that, I love you more than anything,"
I smiled and kissed him.
"Do you wanna pick up where we left off?" he asked. "Or are you tired?"
I laughed at his remark.
"No way am I tired," I said kissing him deeply. "Now, get going Dr. Shepherd,"
"Whatever you say Dr. Grey," he laughed.
That night I was sound asleep when I heard the bedroom door creak open and Charlotte wandered in sleepily, rubbing her eyes as she climbed under the covers. With no words and no excuse, she climbed between Derek and me and fell back asleep.
I rolled over and nudged Derek.
"Come downstairs," I whispered.
Derek groaned when he saw the clock and got up reluctantly.
I wandered down the stairs with Derek in tow; he put his hands on my shoulders as he followed me sleepily.
"So why are we out of bed?" he yawned.
"Because I can't sleep…" I answered. I sat on the bar stool and pulled him close to me. I ran my hands through his thick hair. "We're going to get her through this, aren't we?"
Derek nodded and rested his forehead against mine.
"We're all going to get through this," he said kissing me. "Because we have each other okay,"
I kissed him again.
"You know, we have all this space down here…Charlie is in bed, there is no way that George and Izzie would even come down here now…" I said to him with a silly grin and a light chuckle.
"You're terrible…" he answered. "We can't have sex down here…people eat in this kitchen!"
"We eat on plates on that table!" I pointed out.
"That's true," Derek replied. "The shower…on the other hand…"
"Ours is not communal…" I laughed.
"But what's life without a little risk?" Derek smiled at me cheekily.
"No one will be awake for a while…" I pulled at his shirt.
"Charlie's asleep…" he responded as he kissed me.
"Let's go," I told him.
I walked into the bathroom and turned on the shower. When it was at a comfortable temperature I whipped around and felt Derek's lips against mine; he started to pull my shirt over my head where he kissed my stomach and my chest; I moved my hands over his torso and took off his shirt. Our clothing was soon a sparse pile on the bathroom floor and we were in the shower; I felt the pressure of his body against mine as I leaned with my back to the tiles. With no warning and no sound, he and I seemed to miss the sound of Izzie entering the bathroom. While we weren't to know, she flushed the toilet; with the pipes being what they were in my house, it sent a gush of icy cold water through the shower; startled by the chill I screamed at the top of my lungs and Derek let out a yelp of shock.
Izzie pulled back the shower curtain in shock.
"Oh my god!" she cried.
She jumped back and as she went to run out of the bathroom George opened the door to see what all the commotion was about.
"Ahh!" he exclaimed. Izzie shoved him out of the way to run out the bathroom, with him closely in tow.
As Derek and I composed ourselves from the sheer embarrassment of what had just happened, I heard George and Izzie talking.
"My god, this place is like a fraternity house! All this sex in inappropriate places…" she went on and on with comments like that.
I breathed heavily and leaned against him.
"No more risks okay," I sighed.
"Definitely not!" he answered.
We walked quietly back upstairs with the knowledge that both he and I were going to be up early. I passed Izzie on the way up as she threw me a dirty look.
"Uh…sorry Iz," I said.
"Don't mention it…ever!"
I laughed and wandered into the bedroom where I lied down gently with every intention not to wake Charlotte.
Derek slid under the covers next to me and ran his hand down my cheek.
"I don't think I've ever told you how beautiful you are," he smiled.
I blushed slightly, but with the darkness of the room, he had no idea. For an instant I couldn't believe my ears; it was so unlike him and I wondered why he said it. But simultaneously with my mind he knew what I was thinking; he knew that never in my life had someone called me beautiful. Sure, I was brains, all through school, not so much in college, but med school was a whole new place; I had always been brains, never a beauty, but that was fine by me; it meant I never had to worry about anything like a lip gloss or a sexy dress; I could sleep around but be forgotten.
"No one has ever called me beautiful…" I said softly.
"Well, you are beautiful," he answered. He leaned in and kissed me. But then he said something that I was not prepared for; something I had never heard before. "And I am so proud of you,"
I felt tears roll down my cheeks.
"Proud?" I repeated.
"A world's worth of proud; more proud than anyone in the universe…" he smiled, pushing the tears off my cheeks.
"The only person in the universe," I told him.
"Are you kidding?" he said. "Ever person in this house, in that hospital is proud of the person you have become! Within no time at all, you've completed a surgical internship and become a mother! And you know what, you're brilliant at it! You're a brilliant mother and a brilliant surgeon! It's hard to be brilliant at something you have only started; and that's how every great surgeon and every great mother, for that fact, starts out!"
I smiled, left it at that; for a moment, I wanted that sentence to last a little longer. I fell back asleep for a little while.
