The Heart of a Man (Chapter 4)
After dozing for a couple of hours, Marco woke up. He smiled to himself when he saw Chet asleep on the chair next to his bed. Not wanting to wake his friend, as he knew how difficult the past few days had to have been on Chet, Marco let his friend sleep. He let his mind think back to a couple hours earlier…to when he received the news about his heart condition, and how his career with the Department was over. It made him sad to think that the job he loved so much was being taken away from him. Most firefighters, if not all of them, would tell you that firefighting was more than a job…it's a calling…and the people you worked with, were more than just co-workers, they were family…and Marco felt right at that moment, that he was losing his family. His mind then wandered to his own mortality, and whether or not they would find a heart in time for him.
Sensing that Marco was awake, Chet opened his eyes and looked over at his friend.
"Marco…you okay, amigo?" he asked worriedly.
"Yes, Chet…I'm fine. Thanks for being here, but you don't have to stay."
As Chet listened to the lifeless tone of his friend's voice, his worry increased.
"I know I don't, but I want to."
Marco appreciated Chet trying to help him through this "mess" that he had gotten himself into, but he couldn't quite understand the change in his friend's attitude…how Chet had seemingly gone from obnoxious to very compassionate, and even somewhat spiritual, in only a span of a few days.
"Chet…I gotta ask you a question."
Chet nodded his head. "Shoot."
"I…I just have to ask you…why the change?"
"The change?" asked a confused Chet.
"The change in how you are, Chet. A few weeks ago you were getting on Johnny's nerves with the jokes and insults, not to mention water bombs…and now…you're telling me that God will help me through this. What gives?"
"Marco…" Chet didn't want to admit his true feelings to his friend, and thus had a hard time being honest.
"Come on, Chet…I know you."
Chet took a deep breath and exhaled. "Well…I'm scared, Marco. I…I look at Roy and Johnny…and see what kind of friendship they have with each other…I never really had that with anyone before. I…I guess I'd like the opportunity to have that with you, but…I'm scared that...that it won't happen. That maybe, before we can develop that kind of friendship, something might happen to you…and I'd miss out on it. Pretty stupid, huh?"
Marco smiled weakly at his friend and shook his head slowly. "No, it's not stupid at all…it's honest. We ARE friends, Chet…we've always been. I have to say that in some ways, I know you better than most. And…you don't have to prove anything to me…least of all, your friendship. I've always considered you one of my closest friends, but I guess coming from such a big family, I never felt the need to express that to you…there've always been so many other people in my life. I appreciate you being here for me…I'm going to need a lot of support over the next few months. Now what about the other thing?"
Chet sighed loudly. He was a bit embarrassed to admit the next thing. "Okay…well, if you must know, I went to church last night…after we all saw you."
"Church?" Marco asked with surprise, after all he knew his friend's track record.
"Captain Stanley sent me home last night…didn't think I'd be able to work. After I left the station, I drove around and ended up at a church…my old church, St. Gabriel. I ended up meeting a priest, Father Mike, and we talked. He helped me see a few things, I guess. I was embarrassed for running out of your room last night. I felt like I let you down. Anyway, I suppose after talking to Father Mike, I've adopted a new outlook...and if I'm going to be here for you…I've gotta stick to it."
Marco listened to his friend intently before answering.
"You know, Chet…it's okay to be scared. I'm scared too…but if I kept that attitude, I'd never get through this, either."
"So, what do we do, Marco?" asked Chet, a mixture of uncertainty and confusion on his face.
"We stick together. You help me…and I'll help you. Deal?"
Chet nodded his head. "Deal."
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Returning to the station from their most recent run, Roy and Johnny continued to sit in the cab of the squad for a few moments longer, silent at first.
"Roy…" Johnny started.
"Yeah?"
"Do you think that they'll find Marco a heart in time?"
Roy shrugged his shoulders and sighed sadly. "I don't know. I hope so…but we both know that with Marco's rare blood type…that it could be a long shot."
The junior medic nodded his head slowly. "Yeah. Do you ever think about what you would do or how you would feel in that same situation, Roy?"
"I try not to. We all know that in this job…anything is possible, Johnny. If you start thinking about all the things that could happen or go wrong, too much…you'd never be able to do your job effectively."
"I guess you're right."
Meeting the two paramedics in the bay, were Troy and JT. Despite not knowing Marco as well as the others did, the concern on their faces was genuine. They both knew Marco to be a good guy.
"Hi fellas. Any new word on Marco?"
Johnny shook his head. "No, JT…nothing new about Marco. But last we heard, he was resting comfortably…and I guess at this point, that's the best news we could possibly hear."
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Having returned home from spending part of the morning with Marco, and having to be there while their son received the horrible news of his failing heart and health, Eduardo and Estella looked at each other sadly and embraced each other.
"Eduardo…we can't lose Marco…we can't." Estella tearfully choked out.
"We're not going to lose him, Estella. Marco will get a new heart…we just have to have faith in God. He never let us down before…and now that we need him more than ever…he'll come through for us, you just wait and see." Eduardo tried his best to remain strong and positive, if for nothing else, then for his wife's sake.
"I wish I had your faith…but…but in my own heart, I know that it's not going to happen that way."
"Estella…"
Pulling away from her husband, Estella left the living room, and slowly made her way up the stairs and to Marco's old childhood bedroom.
Looking around the room, she was reminded of what a good child her Marco had been as a young boy. The trophies and ribbons scattered around the room, were a testament to his abilities as a good soccer player and student. Artwork hanging on the walls were a testament to his skills as an artist, even at a young age. There of course were also the framed pictures that were on the dresser… pictures of Marco at his first communion…his confirmation…high school graduation…and even his graduation from the Fire Academy. Estella started to relive each event in her mind, as she looked at each picture.
"Quico…you must fight to live…we need you…I need you." she said softly.
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After talking quietly for another hour, Chet decided that he needed to leave so that Marco could get some more much needed rest.
"Marco…I guess I should probably head out now…you need your rest. I'll try to stop by again later."
Marco swallowed a few times before saying anything in response to his friend.
"It's okay, Chet…you don't have to. I know you have other things to do, besides spending all your free time sitting here with me, and listening to me ramble on about things."
"Marco? I thought we had a deal…the two of us…helping each other through this? Does that sound familiar? I wouldn't be here if I didn't want to be…so deal with it."
Smiling at his friend, Marco was glad that he had Chet on his side…for as much of a pain in the butt as Chet could be at times…it was also his tenacity that had made him someone that you actually WANTED in your corner.
"Okay, Chet…I'll see you later…I ain't going anywhere, anytime soon." came the sad but true reply.
"That's alright…I'll take that, Marco…it beats the alternative. Hey…have someone call me if you need anything…I'll come running right back."
"I will…thanks…and thanks for being a friend."
More closely approaching the bed, Chet held on to Marco's hand and lifted it up.
"No…thank YOU, Marco…for being a friend. I just wish I had been more of one to you sooner…then maybe you wouldn't be in this mess in the first place. Adios, amigo."
After patting Marco's hand, Chet left the room, a churning potful of thoughts running through his head.
On his way out, he bumped into Dr. Gibson.
"Chet…" He was surprised to see that Chet had still been there.
"Hi, Doc. I hope you don't mind that I stayed so long. Marco and I did a bit of talking. I guess we both expressed a lot of stuff."
The cardiologist smiled and nodded his head in understanding.
"That's okay, Chet…I'm glad that the two of you talked…he's really going to need you, if he's going to get through all of this."
"So…you really think that he's going to be able to get through it…that he's going to get a new heart?" Chet asked hopefully.
"I certainly hope so."
"But you haven't heard anything yet, though?"
The doctor exhaled quietly and shook his head.
"No, I'm afraid not. It could be weeks or even months before anything comes about…we all must be prepared for anything."
"Meaning…"
"Meaning that if a heart does come through, that it'll happen real fast…or…the contrary…if a heart DOESN'T come through…"
Not wanting to hear any more negative things as they related to Marco, Chet shared a piece of information with Dr. Gibson.
"I made a deal with God…so I know that he'll help Marco out…everything will be fine."
The doctor smiled at the firefighter's sense of hope. "I hope you're right. You take care, Chet…I'll see you later."
After Chet left his room, Marco was left to lie and wonder what lay ahead for him. Would a new heart come in time for him? Would his body accept it? Would he be able to go on and live a fairly normal life with it? Would he be able to return to the Department…at least in some capacity? Would his body reject a new heart? Would he die? How would his family and friends remember him? Would his parents be able to handle his death? And then the cruelest question of all came to his mind…how would everyone handle his passing if it came right before a heart had just been found?
Closing his eyes, Marco succumbed to the stress, worry, and exhaustion that he was feeling, as well as all the medications that he was now on.
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Down in the ER, Brackett received a phone call that he hadn't wanted to receive.
"Kel…it's Kevin. I have some news for you that I know you'd want to know…that young heart patient…Paul Reynolds…he just passed. He was just too weak from his body having rejected the new heart."
Hearing the news threw the normally unflappable doctor for a loop. All he could think of was Marco Lopez, and how everyone would feel if the same thing had happened to him. It took him a few moments to respond to the tragic news.
"I'm…I'm sorry to hear that, Kevin. Thank you for letting me know." Kel was barely able to get the words out.
"No problem. By the way…so far so good…Marco seems to be holding his own. I'll keep you posted on his condition."
"Thanks, I appreciate that…take care."
After hanging up the phone, Kel's heart sank. He wanted to be as optimistic as he could, but in his mind and in his heart, he knew that the chances of Marco finding and receiving a new heart were slim to none, especially with his rare blood type. Hearing about the other young man's death, only served as a painful reminder to him, at what Marco, his family and friends would probably be facing, in only a few months.
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Taking a page out of Marco's recipe book, Mike made his fallen friend's special tacos.
As the men of 51's crew were sitting down and enjoying the delicious meal, their thoughts turned to Marco.
"Do you fellas think that they'll find Marco a heart in time?" Hank asked his paramedics.
Roy shrugged his shoulders slightly. "I don't know, Cap. It's possible…you know, this kind of stuff has come a long way over the last several years…and even if they don't find a heart right away…there are all kinds of medications…" The senior medic had to stop, even he didn't think he could believe what he was saying…of course, if they didn't find him a heart within the next two months or so, Marco would in fact die.
The six men all continued to sit quietly at the table eating their tacos, but not really tasting them…they were all too upset to enjoy them.
"Uh…after lunch…we'll…we'll do some rope drills…maybe they'll help to get our minds off of Marco for a while."
Hank suggested that, but he also knew that nothing would help to completely get their minds off of the fallen firefighter and good friend.
When the phone rang, everyone remained silent…half expecting bad news…and half expecting that maybe a new heart for Marco had been located.
Getting up to answer it was Hank.
"Hello…Station 51, Captain Stanley here."
"Captain Stanley…it's Dr. Brackett…"
Hearing the doctor's voice on the other end of the line, Hank feared that the news was bad.
"Doctor Brackett…what can I do for you?"
Hearing their captain say Dr. Brackett's name, the rest of the crew all thought the same things as the captain…either the news was bad, or they had found a heart for their friend.
"Actually, I wanted to talk to Roy or Johnny…are they there?"
"Yes…hold on a minute."
Covering up the phone with his hand, Hank called out softly to the paramedics.
"Roy…John…Dr. Brackett would like to talk to you for a moment."
Getting up, Johnny nervously took the phone. "Doc…it's Johnny. What's going on?"
"Johnny…I wanted to let you and Roy know that that the heart patient you brought in yesterday…he just died. He was too weak from his rejected heart."
Hearing the news was like the proverbial dagger through Johnny's heart.
"Johnny?" The doctor called over the phone, after only hearing silence for a few moments.
"Yeah…I'm…I'm here. Okay…I'll let Roy know. How's Marco doing?"
"Stable…he seems to be holding his own."
"I guess that's good news. Thanks for calling, Doc."
After hanging up the phone, Johnny turned around and was met by five other pairs of eyes.
When they noted the expression on his face, and how the color in his face had seemed to pale, they became worried that something very serious had happened.
"John? Is it Marco?" Hank asked fearfully.
Shaking his head, Johnny exhaled softly.
"No…no Marco's holding steady. It was about that heart patient that Roy and I had brought in last night…Brackett said that he had just died. His body had rejected the new heart…and he became too weak to fight it."
The other men became very quiet again…thinking to themselves, that it was a possibility for the same fate to meet Marco…for him to get a new heart, only for his body to reject it, as well.
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Not quite sure where to go or what to do, Chet decided to make a return visit to the church. Parking his car, he again made the familiar journey up the steps and inside.
Taking off his light jacket, he was met by none other than Father Mike.
"Chet…hello there."
Smiling in relief at seeing the priest, the firefighter was glad to have run into the older man again.
Accepting the priest's outstretched hand, Chet took it.
"Hi there, Father Mike. I'm glad to see you again."
"Well, thank you. I must say it is quite nice to see you again, too. I've been thinking about you and your sick friend. How is he doing?"
Shrugging his shoulders and moving his head slowly from side to side, Chet wasn't quite sure how to answer the question.
"I don't really know. I mean, I guess he's doing alright for the time being…for how much longer that will be the case, I don't really know. I do know that he's scared and hurting…and his folks are too."
"Why don't you come with me, Chet…we can talk inside?" encouraged the priest.
Nodding his head, Chet felt some of the weight that he had on his shoulders, come off, as he followed Father Mike inside the chapel.
Stopping at one of the pews in the middle of the chapel, the priest stood motioning for Chet to sit down, and then followed him in.
"So what's going on, Chet? I take it you saw him this morning?"
"I did. I was there with him and his folks when the doctors told him the news about his illness."
"And how did he take it?"
Chet sat for a moment, reliving the events of the morning, in his mind.
"A lot better than I would have, that's for sure. It was rough, but he's strong. The two of us made a deal…I'd be strong for him, and he'd be strong for me. I just worry about whether or not I'll be able to hold up my end of the deal."
Father Mike observed his young friend for a moment, wondering why the younger man would think that he wouldn't be strong enough.
"Tell me, Chet…why is it that you think you wouldn't be strong enough? You strike me as being quite confident."
Chet's expression and body language turned to that of sadness.
"I'm not, believe me, Father. I may talk a good game, but when it comes to being strong and confident…I guess that's why I tend to play practical jokes on people…it hides my feelings of insecurity, and…well, you know what I mean. Everyone is always telling me that deep down they know I am a teddy bear…I suppose they're right."
Father Mike nodded his head in understanding. He had a childhood friend who had been a lot like Chet. Outwardly he seemed happy-go-lucky and confident, but on the inside he was hiding his low self-esteem.
"You have a good heart, Chet. There is no doubt in my mind that you will be able to get through this, and help your friend to do so, as well."
The two men continued to talk. It was almost an hour and a half later, when they realized the time.
"I sure do hope that I have continued to help you, Chet. You have a lot on your plate right now, but God will help you to see it through."
"Thank you, Father. You have been wonderful. I think as long as I continue to believe…I might just be able to get through this."
Shaking Chet's hand, Father Mike smiled and left to address some business in his office.
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