Chapter 4: Confessions:

The boy Jared came over to them just as Spike was snapping out of his realization. Spike felt instantly defensive even more so then he had before. He assumed that because he recognizes her as his mate, the feelings finally were awakened full force and any male that comes near her gives him a desire to protect and defend his mate. He growled softly under his breath as the boy neared Hanna.

Hanna smiled and waved. "What's up Jared?"

Jared looked apologetically at Hanna, and then at Spike. "Sorry Casanova, I gotta get this little lady home or her old man with have my head…or worse..." He glanced down at the front of his jeans and Hanna rolled her eyes and smacked his chest. Spike flinched slightly as she made physical contact with a male. But then Spike noticed something interesting. Hanna glanced down at her hand and rubbed it with her other one, like it had hurt her. Spike realized that because he recognizes her as his mate, her subconscious recognizes him as well.

"Come on small fry." Jared went to put his hand on Hanna's arm and before Spike could think about what he was doing shot out his hand and grabbed Hanna by the arm and pulled her to him before the boy could lay a finger on her. The twin expressions of shock and disbelief on Hanna's and Jared's faces told Spike that that was not a good idea.

Jared looked at Spike skeptically. "Hey man, I said I was sorry. But I have to get Hanna home or she'll get into trouble, and so will I."

"Yeah Spike. I gotta go." Hanna was reluctant to pull away from him.

Spike let her go. "Look mate, do me a favor and let me take Hanna home." Spike saw Hanna smile out of the corner of his eye and her face brighten. Jared looked like he was about to say no when Hanna stepped in.

"Yeah, Spike knows where I live and my dad has already met him remember?"

Jared smiled. "Oh yeah, I remember that story. Man I bet it was a shocker to see Hanna all sweet and then meet her dad, all…not sweet."

Spike smiled slightly. "Yeah well best be off then." Spike took Hanna's hand without really noticing that he did it. This made Hanna blush, but she didn't pull away. Jared gave her thumbs up and walked back over to Kay and the rest of their friends. Jared whispered something into Kay's ear and she glanced over at Spike and Hanna making their way to the door.

"Hey Spike!" Kay called out. Spike and Hanna stopped and turned.

"You better take good care of our Hanna."

Spike smiled again and nodded slightly. Oh believe me, I intend to. Spike thought to himself.

They had walked in silence all the way to the cemetery by Hanna's street when Spike felt Hanna's hand shake slightly in his. He looked down and she looked like she was deep in thought, but her hand still trembled. Spike realized that it was night and his hands were cold, and this was probably very uncomfortable for Hanna, and besides she didn't ask or say she wanted to hold hands with him in the first place. Probably was just too polite to say otherwise. He released her hand and shoved both of his into his duster pockets. Hanna looked up at him and sighed then wiped her hands on her pants while trying not to draw attention to it. Spike felt hurt that she did this. She probably didn't want you touching her you fool. Spike chided himself again for his rashness.

"Sorry pet." He said quietly.

Hanna glanced at him again. "For what?" She asked with the same soft tone. He indicated toward her hand with his head.

Hanna looked down. "Oh, no I'm sorry."

Spike gave her a surprised look. "Why are you sorry?" Hanna sighed. "Well you let go of my hand because I have clammy sweating gross hands and I'm sorry but they get that way when I'm nervous and I really didn't expect you to want to hold my hand or even do it if you wanted to, not that I'm complaining or anything its just that I would like a warning or something…"

"Love, its all right. I didn't want to let go of you hand. I thought you wanted me to. I have cold hands if you didn't notice."

"Oh I didn't notice. All I pretty much noticed was you holding my hand." She laughed nervously at that. Spike smiled inwardly.

"Spike? Can I ask you a question?"

"Of coarse Love."

"Do I seem different to you?"

Spike was a little taken aback by the question. Maybe she was more perceptive then he thought. Of coarse she was different to him. She went from the pretty girl he saved, to being his entire world in just one night. She looked more beautiful, more angelic than any girl Spike had ever known. So Spike went with the literal meaning to see where she was going with her question. "Not really love."

Hanna looked deflated. "Oh. OK"

"Why do you ask? Was I supposed to notice something new about you?"

Hanna shook her head.

"Then why?"

"You are gonna think I'm totally crazy." Spike chuckled.

"You have to be pretty off your bird for me to think that."

Hanna took a deep breath. "You seem different to me, that's why I was asking."

Spike didn't know what to say because he was not expecting her to say that.

"How do I seem different?"

"Not different, like physically. I don't know how to describe it. It's like I'm noticing more about you. And I….catch myself staring at you, and I have all these new feelings and thoughts…and you probably think I'm a wacko creeper chick who should keep thoughts like that to herself."

"Great job Hanna, no wonder you've never had a boyfriend." She said under her breath.

Spike chuckled despite her seriousness. "No, no I understand what you meant love. I understand better than you know." His change in tone caused Hanna to look up at him. Spike could already see a question beginning to burn on her lips, but before she could ask, Spike grabbed her hand once more.

"Come on, its time for me to take you home." Spike knew that Hanna would take that as a subject drop, but knowing what little he did know about Hanna she will ask him later. Later. That made Spike smile. Later as in he will see her again. Later as in he will never have to be apart from her. He will watch over her and always remain close to her no matter the consequence. That thought filled Spike with a sense of poetic pride. Her knight in armor, Spike wanted to laugh out loud at the irony.

They finally came to her house on Revello Drive and once again stood awkwardly on her front steps. Spike could see through her front windows and they were brightly lit, probably her father waiting for Hanna the second she comes in. And once again Spike didn't know what to say to her. Hanna sighed nervously and Spike slid his eyes to rest on her. She was fidgeting her hands and shifting her weight from foot to foot.

Nerves are a funny thing.

As Spike was about to open his mouth and break the silence, another voice beat him to it. "What are you doing here Spike?" Spike visibly tensed when he recognized the voice. He should have smelled her a mile away, but he was too distracted with Hanna's scent. The slayer in all her annoying glory stood on the sidewalk leading up to Hanna's house.
Hanna looked over at Buffy and smiled. "Hi Buffy… Wait you know Spike?"

Buffy looked questioning at Hanna as well. "You know Spike?" Then both girls looked expectantly at the vampire in question. Waiting for an explanation and by the look of their twin expressions, a confession. Buffy was not a patient person so it didn't surprise Spike when she spoke first. "Look can we talk privately, now." Spike sighed and rolled his eyes, he knew in order for this to work out as smoothly as it can, he needs to deal with the slayer first. Spike nodded and walked away from Hanna. When he reached her she started whispering in a harsh and angry tone.

"What do you think you are doing with her? She's my neighbor. What is this part of some sick little game at revenge against me?"

Spike narrowed his eyes. "You know Slayer, my entire existence does not revolve around you, and when I met her I didn't know she lived here." Buffy glared at his first comment and her stare turned puzzled.

"So what are you doing with her? You can't bite her, you can't kill her." Spike shook his head vehemently. "I would never want to." The panic and honesty in his eyes must have stopped Buffy's protest from leaving her lips because she stood there in silence.

"Please don't tell me you think you're in love with her." Buffy said exasperated.

Spike grinned. "OK, I don't think I love her…I know I do."

Buffy rolled her eyes. "Spike this is serious! She is not just some play thing. She is a young girl with feelings and she doesn't need some monster stamping all over her heart." Spike couldn't stop the comment from leaving his lips, he instantly regretted it. "Speaking from experience Slayer?" Buffy's eyes grew hurt for a split second and then turned to anger. She marched right up to Hanna and told her. "I would stay clear away from Spike. He will do nothing but hurt you and he will enjoy every minute of it. Believe me, I should know." Then with a terrible smirk in Spike's direction, she turned on her heel and walked toward her house.

Why was Spike surprised that this happened? The slayer hated him and every time he thinks he has it right it turns out to be so desperately wrong. Spike looked up at Hanna. She was still standing on her porch, her eyes fixed on her hands and her expression looked confused. Spike sighed and walked up to her. "Hanna?" he called hesitantly.

Hanna replied in a small voice, but did not look at him. "Does she like you?" Spike almost laughed out loud. Luckily he stopped himself.

"She hates my guts pet."

Hanna asked another question is a small voice. "Do you like her?"

Spike smiled even though she couldn't see it. "No, the feelings mutual. She hates me, I hate her." Hanna took a deep breath and slowly raised her gaze to meet Spike's. What he saw in her eyes was uncertainty and a little fear, that made Spike frown. Why was she scared?

"Is what Buffy said true? Would you try and hurt me?" Spike felt like he had the wind knocked out of him. She looked so small and so fragile. All he wanted to do was curse Buffy for ever putting ideas in her head that weren't true. He loved Hanna and would never hurt her. She was too important to him. She was his life. Spike shook his head. "I will try with every bit of strength I have to make sure no one hurts you again." Hanna's expression was still hesitant. "How can I be sure I can trust you?" Spike knew how to answer that question but it was her reaction that had him almost scared. She was still so young and vulnerable and he did not want to scare her off with the intensity of his love, but in order for Hanna to trust him, he must confess his feelings. "Hanna I am going to tell you the truth, but it might be hard to swallow, and it will be scary at first but I think it'll be alright as long as you remember that what I am telling you is the truth." Hanna took a deep breath mentally preparing herself for what she thought was rejection. Spike also took a deep breath, but his was to settle the pesky nerves now squiggling through his veins and making him want to fidget. Spike looked right into Hanna's eyes and he narrowed his eyes softly. "You can trust me because I'm in love with you." Hanna gasped and looked at Spike like he was insane. "I know it sounds completely bonkers. But I…"

Spike's arms were suddenly filled with Hanna, soft, crying Hanna. She hugged him so tightly he wondered if she knew it wasn't a problem that he couldn't breath. She was crying and her hot tears were soaking through his t-shirt, it felt like a warm summer rain. Spike hugged her back, holding her flush against him, and hoping she never lets go. Hanna pulled back slightly and laughed despite the tears. Spike cocked his head in question. "Love, what's matter, why are you crying?"

Hanna shook her head and lifted her hand and wiped her eyes with it. "I don't know. I guess you just made me happy, and surprised and it was weird because I kind of knew, but wasn't sure if it was wishful thinking and it felt weird at first that you were saying it when you barley know me, but then I thought about it, it makes sense. Everything that I'm feeling and hoping for. Love is the only possible answer."

"So what are you saying? Do you..?" Spike couldn't finish the question now that he had declared his love for her, it would be so easy for Hanna to hurt him. Laugh at him, slap him, tell him to go to hell. But Hanna didn't do any of those things. She smiled sweetly up at him and said with the softest voice and sincerest of tones, "I love you too."

And the only thing Spike knew that would fit her soft declaration of love, was he gently cupped her face in both hands and slowly pressed his lips gently to hers to share their first kiss.

Thinking back on it now, Spike should have known Drusilla wasn't the one. She tasted of blood, ashes, and death when he kissed her. Her lips were cold and lacked fiery passion.

But Hanna's kisses, to Spike, tasted sweet, tasted like love, salvation. Hanna's kisses tasted of redemption.

And it was that taste that made Spike feel retched.

He told her she could trust him; that he was telling her the whole truth, and that he loved her.

But would any of that truly matter when she found out he was a monster?

A liar?

A murderer?

End of Part One: Falling

Part Two: Stumbling, will be coming very soon!