Chapter 4

I had about thirty seconds to process the kiss. Then Dean's brows drew together, and he delivered a hard slap upside my head. "You dumb motherfucker! That was your terrible secret? Are you stupid or something? You really thought that me finding out you wanna jump my bones was worse than treating me like a goddamn leper for two fucking years?"

"OW!" I ducked my head. "You're right—I'm a total fucking moron. I—I wasn't thinking very clearly when I first caused that fight, though that's not an excuse for keeping you away after that. But I had no clue you felt like this too—you never said or did anything to indicate you thought of me as anything but your little brother!"

"Of course I didn't, dumbass! I couldn't make the first move. I'm more than your big brother—I practically raised you. There's no way I could abuse that position! If I'd been the one to instigate something when you were younger, how could I know if you were responding 'cause you wanted to or 'cause you felt you had to? I'd rather we just stayed brothers forever than take advantage of you!" he retorted.

I felt even more ashamed. "I'm sorry, Dee. You were concerned about me, and as usual I've only been thinking about myself. But I—I'm going to do better from now on. I want to be part of your life again, if you can bring yourself to forgive me. I understand if you can't though, and if that's the case then I'll figure out how to earn your trust again. Just . . . tell me what you want."

"'Course I want you back, even if you are a goddamn fucking idiot! But you hafta mean it this time, Sam. I—I can't take this shit anymore if you decide to run off again." He gave me a very direct look, his long-lashed eyes still damp.

"I understand, and I won't screw up like that again. I never meant to hurt you." I put my arms around him again, and when he didn't push me away, I asked quietly. "Can I—can I kiss you?"

"You sure that's what you want, dude? 'Cause there ain't anything normal or safe 'bout hooking up with your brother," Dean said skeptically. "So if you're just gonna freak out later, I'd rather pass."

"There's nothing I want more than to be with you, I swear! And this isn't just about sex, man. I love you, and I want to show you how important you are to me." I glanced at him hesitantly. "This—our being together—doesn't bother you?"

He snorted. "Look at my fucking life and tell me when I've ever been an upstanding, law-abiding citizen! My only concern before was not hurting you. If this makes us happy, it ain't anyone else's goddamn business. So yeah, I'm all in as long as you are, Sammy."

I took a deep breath and kissed him tentatively. He threaded a hand through my hair and returned the kiss firmly, licking at my bottom lip. Emboldened by his reaction, I deepened the kiss until his pink lips parted, then slid my tongue inside. My hands slid down the damp skin of his firm back, while his free hand slipped under my shirt. We exchanged ardent kisses for several minutes, our tongues dancing around each other and our hands roaming across the other's torso.

My brother eventually sat back, breathing heavily. "S—sorry 'bout that—didn't mean to go so far."

"Huh? What are you talking about?" I asked in befuddlement.

He shrugged self-deprecatingly. "Figure you ain't too interested in anything more, given how fucked up I look right now."

I kissed him again before responding. "Dee, you're always the most beautiful person I've known, even covered in stinky river mud or wearing a burlap sack or whatever. Seeing how you've neglected yourself saddens me, but it doesn't make me want you any less."

I paused to look at him gravely. "But please, you have to promise me that you'll take better care of yourself from now on! No more taking unnecessary risks during hunts, no more subsisting on the bare minimum food or sleep, no more . . . no more hooking up with guys that just treat you like a piece of meat. Okay?"

"You ain't gotta worry 'bout the last thing if we're together. You've been the only one I really want for the past five years. As for the rest . . . I'll do my best, man. I—I just . . . just need to know that someone gives a rat's ass 'bout me," he replied.

I pushed him gently back onto the bed and leaned over him. "Oh I do, Dee. I care about you more than anything else in this world. And I'll prove it over and over to you if I have to, until you believe that you mean everything to me!"

With that, I reclaimed his lush mouth and kissed him passionately. As he kissed back just as enthusiastically, I ran my hands up his chest and fondled his pectoral muscles. My fingers circled his areolae for a moment before flicking and tugging on his tender nipples. He gasped and swung his legs up onto the mattress, and the towel came undone and fell open with his movement.

I sat back to admire the sight. I'd seen my brother naked before—growing up in cramped motel rooms made it unavoidable—but those other times had been brief glimpses while we tried to maintain some small bit of privacy. Now I looked my fill upon his wide shoulders, strong arms, broad chest, flat stomach, narrow hips, long legs, and freckled skin. And the pièce de résistance was the long, dusky cock curving up towards his belly. The weight loss, bruises, and scars did little to detract from the beauty of his person in my eyes.

"Take a damn picture—it'll last longer," he groused, his high-boned cheeks flushed in embarrassment at the attention, while reaching out and pulling my shirt off.

"Better get used to it, big brother. I've got free reign to ogle you now and nearly ten years of repressed leering to make up for!" I smiled down at him as I settled between his legs. "You really have no idea how irresistible you are, do you?"

"Dude, I'm trying to decide if college made you more of a perv or more of a girl. D'ya ta—ahh!"

Dean's words cut off abruptly as I bent down and put my mouth on one of his perky nipples. I suckled and nibbled on the sensitive nub for a bit before switching to the other. He groaned and hauled me up to latch onto my lips, then proceeded to prove exactly how skilled of a kisser he was. When he finally let me up for air, I licked and nipped my way down his neck until I reached the base, where I worked on sucking a mark at the juncture between his neck and shoulder.

At the same time, I wrapped my hand around his thick shaft and started to stroke, marveling at the texture of his soft skin. He bucked his hips with a frantic whine and dug a hand into my hair. He then slid the other between us into the fly of my boxers to pull my member out and began to jerk it in time with my hand on his cock. We were soon gasping and rocking our pelvises together as we jacked each other off. I buried my face in his shoulder to muffle my shout as I came all over his stomach, and I heard him cry out and felt his seed spurt over my fingers moments later.

I rolled over and collapsed beside my brother, panting heavily. He reached down to snag the towel and used it to first clean off his abdomen and then my hand before tossing it in the direction of the bathroom.

"Sorry I didn't last longer, man," I said sheepishly. "I just—I've just been imagining this for so long . . . so to finally be able to touch you . . ."

"'Sokay, kiddo—I get it. I got pretty fucking excited too!" He grinned at me, then started to reach for the covers.

"Hey, don't get comfortable! I'm not done with you yet—like I said before, I got nearly ten years to make up for!" I told him as I got up and went over to his bag. "Please tell me you've got lube in here."

Dean's grin widened. "And they say romance is dead. Inside pocket, left side."

I found the pocket and pulled out a small bottle of lube. I also extracted a string of foil-wrapped condoms and turned to face him. "Am I going to need these too?"

He shrugged. "That's your call. I've always used protection. Might not have given much of a shit 'bout my own life recently, but I wasn't gonna risk getting some other poor bastard sick."

I dropped the condoms back in the bag. Maybe it was a foolish choice, but I didn't want anything between us, not even a layer of latex. And I trusted my brother—there was no way he'd risk my health. So if he said he was clean, then I believed him.

I returned to the other bed and stretched out beside him. I first popped the lube open and dribbled some on my fingers, then leaned down and captured his full lips in a deep, slow kiss. At the same time, I rubbed a finger down his perineum and around the puckered furl of his entrance. He made a low purring noise as my finger gradually pushed inside, past the outer ring of muscle into the tight heat of his passage. I continued to kiss him while sliding the finger in and out.

"More, Sammy," Dean whispered against my mouth. "Gimme more!"

I slicked up a second finger and carefully pushed it in, then started twisting and spreading them to stretch his taut walls. He arched his back and dug his fingers into my shoulder, tossing his head and cursing softly. After a couple minutes, I added a third finger and felt around until I found that sensitive nub. I soon had him keening as I rubbed against his prostate.

"C'mon, I'm ready! Need you to fuck me, man!" he begged.

I pulled my fingers out and sat back to shove my boxers off. My brother watched admiringly as I poured more lube on my cock and settled in between his legs. He grabbed the back of his thighs and lifted them up, giving easy access to his pink hole. I rubbed myself a couple of times and then brushed the head of my cock against his rim before entering him.

I kept a close eye on his face for any signs of discomfort or pain while I slowly sank into his channel. Instead he hummed and raised his hips as I bottomed out. I began thrusting slowly, shifting the angle of my strokes until widened eyes and a loud gasp told me I'd found his prostate again. I then picked up speed, making sure to graze against his sweet spot with nearly every pass. He rocked his hips in time with mine and rhythmically squeezed around my member as I drove into him.

This was easily one of the most amazing experiences of my life. And not just for the physical sensations—though the feel of his snug inner walls sliding and flexing around my cock, of his strong limbs embracing and caressing my body, of his soft lips kissing and nuzzling my mouth was intoxicating. What really rocked my world was that this was with Dean, something I'd dreamt about for nearly half my life but never believed would ever truly happen. To know that he loved me, wanted me, needed me in the same way I felt about him . . . I could barely imagine anything topping this.

I snapped my pelvis even more vigorously against his ass, pounding repeatedly into his prostate. His cries increased in intensity, which in turn spurred my passion even higher. As I started to approach my peak, I slid a hand between our sweaty torsos and wrapped it around his rigid cock. It took only a few strokes before he screamed and stiffened, his cum shooting across his belly and his anus clenching around my shaft. I plunged into him a couple more times before ejaculating deep inside with a hoarse shout.

My muscles went limp as the orgasm ripped through me, and I was barely able to control my fall to land next to my brother, our arms and legs still entwined. We lay like that for several minutes, simply trying to catch our breaths. I eventually propped myself up on an elbow and gazed down at him, reveling in the sight of his flushed skin, heavy eyes, and sated smile.

"God, Dee . . . that was incredible! You've made me the happiest guy ever!" I leaned down and caught his mouth in another kiss.

Dean rolled over on top of me with a laugh. "Hey, we're just getting started here tonight, baby! Like you said, we got years to catch up on!"