Chapter 4: Truths and lies
Sorry for the extra-long waiting, I was busy with exams, and still am actually. Probably having a few (or a lot) of typos and mistakes, but at least the story is starting to get where I want it! Enjoy!
I don't own any of the characters or universe from Twilight, they're Stephanie Meyer's.
I don't know how much time I spent in the blank void in my head, but I was glad when colors started coming in. There was something quite frightening about emptiness. I liked what I was seeing; I was back in Phoenix again, the sun heating my skin and the warm wind caressing my face. There were people everywhere in the streets, rushing for work or just wandering, enjoying the weather like I did. I walked in the streets until the sun started to set in the horizon. Then, I saw Renée with George, walking on the street's other sidewalk. I called for her, but she didn't turn in my direction. I waited for the cars to free the passage so I could cross the street and then I hurried to her. Only, when I got to the other side, George and she weren't there anymore. I looked all around me, confused. Then I saw someone, standing a few meters away from me, not moving. It was Jacob, and his intense glare looked anxious and pained.
''Jake? What are you doing here in Phoenix? And what's wrong?'' I said while walking toward him.
He didn't react, so I reached for his shoulder.
And then, everything accelerated.
My hand went all the way through Jacob's shoulder like he had no substance at all. But he was still there, in front of my eyes. I looked in his eyes, and was surprised that they weren't focused on me; they were fixed on the place I had been standing a few moments ago. I was in the way; it was like his gaze went right through me. He seemed so helpless, I couldn't stand it. I took another step forward, getting him into an embrace, only to find myself hugging my own body. He wasn't in front of me anymore. Huh? Where was he?! Had he evaporated? I turned around only to find him standing his back to me. And then it hit me; he hadn't move. I moved. I moved right through him like I had any substance whatsoever.
At the exact moment of my realization, everything disappeared, and I was back in the blank void. But I wasn't alone though this time. I sensed the presence of someone watching me, but whenever I turned, there was nothing but desolation. Am I turning crazy? And then I heard it. An angelic voice whispering my name. ''Bella… Bella… Bella, do you hear me?''
It was the voice of the young doctor Cullen, the one with that fabulous messy reddish brown hair. I saw a shadow pass right in front of me, at the speed of light, so fast I would have missed it if I had blinked.
And then everything came back to my memory. The hospital. I was in the hospital because of a pancreatitis. I was in the operating room for an endoscopy when something went wrong and they had to anesthetize me. But during the few seconds of blurry consciousness I had before I drifted away, I remembered watching the doctor, Edward, leave the room at inhumane speed under the order of his father. I was sure it wasn't the effect of the medication; the other people in the room seemed to act according to physics' laws.
And there was something in the gaze of Carlisle, Edward's father, which tipped me I saw something I should not have. Along with what seemed like disappointment in his unearthly gold eyes, there appeared to be panic. It could be from my condition, which looked bad enough, but it didn't match his always calm doctor attitude. Now that everything was coming back to my memory, I could analyze it in every detail. And the more I gave a thought to it, the more I was sure of what I had witnessed. Maybe it was because there was always something that ticked me when I saw Edward, something telling there was something quite special about him. No, not special. Unnatural was probably more accurate.
The same voice I heard a moment ago repeated the same sentence, calling for me.
I turned around again, and I saw him. Edward. Standing there with bloodied clothes and gloves in front of me, a crazy expression on his beautiful face. I took a few steps back, afraid of the... angry… no, murderous expression I read in his black eyes. He went slowly forward, so I started walking backward faster, but clumsy as I had always been, I tripped over something. Before I could even touch the ground, Edward caught me, holding me so tight my arms were numb and painful at the same time, and told me between gritted teeth: ''Leave!''.
I woke up, startled by the sudden colorfulness. Light blinded me, so intense I couldn't see anything but a yellowy-white glow. I couldn't see anything, but I could hear now that the voice in my dream had actually been Carlisle's voice, calling to me. The beeps on my monitor having accelerated when I woke up, Carlisle knew I had gone back to consciousness. He was now telling me where I was, and what happened. Aside from the fact that I was back in my room, having been out of the operating room for several hours now, I was already aware of everything he told me. Of course, I had been dreaming about it. I had been recollecting what had happened.
And although my logical mind was against the idea, that it wasn't sanely possible, I knew, I really knew deep down, that the Cullens had a secret. That Edward was something more than the human façade he was trying to project to everyone. That revelation was so clear in me; I was surprised I could be so convinced in something so illogical.
Carlisle put the small flashlight he used to examine my eyes back in his pocket and smiled at me. The sparkle of panic I had seen in his gaze earlier long gone, kindness replacing it. ''Welcome back, Miss Swan. You scared everyone there for a minute (small laugh). You had some pseudocysts in your pancreas that ruptured during the surgery. Fortunately, we were able to control the severe bleeding, and proceed in extracting all of the pseudocysts. We also found gallstones in your pancreas which were causing the pancreatitis in the beginning. The inflammation of the pancreas itself led to the pseudocysts. We removed the gallbladder to prevent other gallstones in the future. There are not many consequences for this; you'll only have to avoid any excess in food or alcohol. You are already getting better, your fever having broken and your hearth rate back to normal. As soon as you recover from the surgery, you'll be as healthy as ever. How are you feeling?''
''Slurred and exhausted, but the excruciating stomach pain is gone. What… Hummm, is Edward… I mean Dr. Cullen… I mean your son is around? I would like to have a word with him.''
Carlisle tensed at my last words, but still smiled his kind smile back at me.
''I'm afraid not. He took a few days off. But I will take great care of you; you'll be on your feet sooner than you can think. Now, if you don't have any further questions, I need to attend with other patients. I will check on you in a few hours; try getting some sleep in the meantime.''
The second he left, both Jacob and Charlie hurried to my bed. Jacob made a move to take my hand, but seeing the harsh look Charlie gave him, he decided against it, letting his arms standing awkwardly on each side of him. Charlie took my hand.
''I was so worried Bella. But now, everything is going to be fine, the doctors took care of you. Do you need anything?''
''I could really use a shower'' I said glancing a strand of my hair that sticked on my forehead.
''Oh sorry Bella, Dr. Cullen said you couldn't stand up until he gives you permission, because of the surgery.'' Seeing my dreadful expression he added: ''But I'll get you some fresh clothes and underwear.''
''Thanks, dad.''
''I'll be back in a few hours then. I could use a shower as well…'' He said sheepishly.
Charlie being gone, it was only Jacob and me in the room now. He took one of the chairs, and sat beside my bed.
''You don't have to st..'' I started, but he interrupted me with a quick kiss on my lips.
''Shhh, I'm just glad you are okay. Go back to sleep. It wouldn't do me any bad either.'' He said with a corner smile. A bit stunned, I closed my eyes. We only have known each other for about two weeks, was it possible he liked me in that way already? There was never a single boy that I interested in Phoenix. It seemed odd to me now that Jake could fall for me so fast, even more considering he was handsome and was a real sunshine of a friend. He probably had a bunch of girls waiting for him to hit on them. I drifted back to sleep, all thoughts of Edward forgotten by the unexpected kiss.
Ten days later, Carlisle said I could go home, but that I had to take it easy for the next weeks. He scheduled an appointment in a week to check if my recovery was continuing well. As for university, I had a ton of homework to do in order to keep up with the schedule. Jacob was coming every evening to hand me everything I couldn't get with my laptop. I was therefore quite busy even if I was practically never leaving my room, much less the house. Charlie wouldn't allow it. It was already something he let Jacob come by every evening, but he would always kick him out by 9:30 sharp so I could ''recover properly''…
It was a good thing I was busy with my mind most of the time, because otherwise I would have gone crazy long ago. When I wasn't working on homework, my mind was free to think about Jacob. Or worse, about Edward. The latter gave me nightmares every night. I was furious that he had conveniently taken days off of the hospital just when I needed to ask him questions. I really needed to know what I had seen that day in the operating room. The illogical thoughts would just not go away. I needed to confront him. The sooner, the better. I was counting down the days until my next visit to the hospital. Surely, he would be back by then.
Trying to keep me busy was really effective on my productivity. Too effective… Because the day before my medical appointment, I had finished all of my homework; even the assignments that weren't due yet. I tried reading, but it wasn't as effective as homework to keep my thoughts away. The day dragged and dragged infinitely, my only distraction being Jacob. Even though he didn't have anything to bring me now, he came just to keep me company. I was eternally grateful for that. Since that day in the hospital, he never mentioned the kiss or anything in the direction of feelings. He was just my friend Jacob, like nothing had happened. I was kind of starting to think I had imagined it. It was fine by me, because even though Jake was a nice guy, handsome and funny and vivid, I was only feeling friendship toward him. I think…
But tonight, he was not acting as the usual Jacob. He sat on the edge of my bed, looking at his hands. I nudged his shoulder, trying to get his attention, and maybe a smile, but he didn't react. He was still looking down, anxious.
''Hey Jake! Has the cat eaten your tongue?''
''What? Uhh, yeah, I mean no. Look Bella, I need to tell you something. When I kissed you, I saw on your face that you didn't see that coming and that you weren't ready for that. But I can't pretend anymore that you are just a friend to me. I have feelings for you. I don't expect you to say anything back; I just needed you to know. I needed to tell you so you don't find it strange sometimes if I just want to hold your hand. When you realize you can't live without me by your side, I'll be waiting for you.'' He said the last sentence with a trace of humour in his voice and a smug smile. I nudged him again; grateful he lifted the tension that had grown by joking. But I knew everything he said, he really thought it. That was a thing I liked about him; he was always straight to the point, never ambiguous.
We moved to lighter subjects and before I could acknowledge it, it was already the dreadful time when Charlie barged in my room to practically drag him out. I took a shower and prepared myself to sleep, taking my time, staying longer in the shower, wistfully expecting the time to pass faster. But it hadn't, and by the time I went to bed for sleep, it was only 10:15. I put on my earphones and turned up the volume of my iPod, thinking I could drown the tornado of thoughts in my head. I listened to every song intently, replaying each of them until I could mouth the lyrics by heart before going to the next one. It actually worked better than I expected it to, and somewhere during the process, I fell in an exhausted and dreamless sleep.
Charlie woke me up the next morning in a hurry, because I didn't hear my alarm clock; I still had music playing in my ears. Taking my breakfast in the car, we managed to make in on time to the hospital. I was anxious to get the confrontation over with. Charlie, taking my tapping foot for worry toward my appointment with Carlisle, told me to relax and that it was just a check-up. He didn't have a clue that my health was very far in my mind at the moment.
As expected, Carlisle told me my recovery was going better than what he imagined and that he gave me permission to walk more, but not going back to university yet. He told me to take a fifteen minutes' walk every day, and to relax the rest of the time. Going back to normal activities gradually. I barely listened to anything else he said, having heard what really mattered. When he stood up, and greeted Charlie before leaving, I blurted out the question I had been holding all along. ''Is your son here today?'' Charlie looked at me, frowning in confusion. Carlisle was also frowning. ''Humm yes, he is attending a few patients, quite busy actually after his days off. Have a great evening Miss Swan. Mr. Swan.'' He answered, leaving the room.
''But I…'' I started but Charlie cut me off.
''Enough Bella. Stop bothering Dr. Cullen about his son. Come on, we'll go home. Billy and Jacob are coming for diner. There's a baseball match tonight on TV.''
Not happy that I had been waiting all week to be turned down now, I followed him, groaning, trying to scheme a plan. While walking in the parking lot, an idea came to my mind. Charlie's house was about thirty minutes away from the hospital. Too long a moment for someone needing to pee badly. I told Charlie I needed to go to the bathroom, and that he should wait for me in the car. As soon as I wasn't in his view, I ran as fast as my stomach would allow me back to the entrance. I asked the guy at the information counter where Dr. Edward Cullen was at the moment. He said he couldn't give me that information since he was in a patient's room. I leaned on the counter, getting closer to him, lowering my head and looking at him through my batting lashes. For the first time in my life, I tried to flirt with a guy. And it seemed like it worked, because he staggered something unintelligible and then told me in which room Edward was at the time, according to the schedule he had. I thanked him, adding even a wink in the game before leaving him behind.
A few minutes later, I found the room, and Edward was effectively in with a patient. I leaned against the wall, taking a look at my watch anxiously. It had been six minutes since I left Charlie in the parking lot. I hoped it wouldn't be too long for Edward to finish with this patient. Fortunately, he stood up from his stool two minutes later, walking toward the door, toward me, looking at the documents in his hand the whole time. Just when I was about to clear my throat to get his attention, he looked back up, stopping short on his steps, a surprised expression on his wonderful traits that would have been funny if I didn't have a totally illogical confrontation in mind for him.
There was a few seconds of silence while he was still shocked to see me there and while I was recovering from seeing him again; I had forgotten how unearthly beautiful he was.
''Humm, hi. Uhh, I would like to talk to you. In private.''
The angry expression had taken over the surprised one, and with his jaw tensed, he spun around and started walking away from me. I followed hurriedly behind him, thinking he was avoiding me, but he stopped at the end of the corridor, turning short on me. I almost hit him, but I stopped myself a few centimeters away from him.
''What do you want?'' He almost barked.
''I have a few questions…'' I said feebly, startled by his boldness.
''My father can answer all of your situation's questions better than I can.''
''It's not about my health!'' I said back, my anger peeking in again. I exhaled furiously, and he recoiled even more in the corner. Did my anger startle him? ''That… That day… In the operating room…'' I didn't finish my sentence, knowing the question following would be crazy. ''Humm, why did you take days off while I was in the hospital?''
''It is none of your business. I had personal matter to take care of. You are not the center of the world, you know.'' Oddly, he said the last almost whispering, as if it was only meant for him. But I heard it, and of course my question sounded egocentric. I needed to know! I didn't care that I would sound crazy as hell.
''During my intervention, before I was unconscious, I saw you move fast. Faster than any human can. How?!'' He laughed humourlessly at me.
''You were being anesthetized; you don't know what you are saying. Sedation can make people hallucinate things.''
''I am not imagining things! The other people in the room were moving normally.''
My mind was running a thousand miles per hour, thinking of a way to get my answers about the intriguing Edward, the unnatural human being in front of me. A wild thought came to my mind. Maybe if I could get him to act like in the operating room, he couldn't deny I wasn't crazy. But how… Blood. Yes, blood! After playing the scene in my head several times, the only thing that changed at that moment was that I started bleeding horribly. Maybe he was really scared of blood and it triggered whatever supernatural was in him. So strange, that a doctor was afraid of blood. But still, it was the only explanation plausible.
Acting solely on instinct, I grabbed a syringe in the box on the wall next to me. I got rid of the plastic envelop and stung my index finger with the needle. Edward looked at me like I was crazy during the whole process, and maybe I was. But at the moment the blood started to drop from my finger, I knew I wasn't crazy, and that I had been somehow right all along. But I was wrong about one thing: Edward Cullen was surely not afraid of blood. At that moment, he looked like he was craving it. His expression was no longer angered; it was murderous, his upper lip letting way to his teeth in a snarl. I staggered a few steps backward, scared and paralyzed. My movement seemed to snap him out of his murderous state. He moved at the speed of light to the other corner of the corridor, getting more distance between us. His expression was now one of suffering and disgust.
''Leave!'' He said. The same word he said in my comatose dream. The same intonation I had in my unconsciousness.
I didn't need to be told twice. I left, walking away fast, glancing back after two steps, but he wasn't there anymore. He was nowhere to be seen. I hurried to the parking lot, troubled. I recollected myself before turning the corner leading to Charlie's car. I glanced at my watch. It seemed like a lot more than twelve minutes since I was gone, but I was grateful I didn't have to make up a story on top of keeping myself together after what just happened. I felt lucky now, even more than before, that Charlie wasn't the speaking type. He hardly said anything before we were home. I pretended I was exhausted after the escapade to the hospital, knowing very well that I would regret it later, considering Charlie would still monitor my activities in the next few days, but I really needed to be alone. Quick.
And so I locked myself in my room, letting the afternoon's events sink in and overwhelm me.
Ouuuh! Bella is scared now, isn't she? Probably will make her totally forget about a certain kiss from a certain Jacob! ;)
See ya!
