I've decided to blame this on my new Pathfinder Adventure Card Game: Skull and Shackles box set. There is just no other explanation. Or maybe it was just time for me to create my own extremely silly AU…
Ship names courtesy of the Seventh Sanctum random generators
Prompt: tf_promptorama Combiners Any Continuity - Kidnapped!
Summary: Pirates!AU - Swindle wants to ransom the prisoner; Vortex… doesn't.
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The Devil's Storm
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Vortex cackled as he poked the captive in the cage. Blades snarled back, spinning his rotors in helpless frustration, which only made the other helicopter cackle more.
The maniacal laughter did not go unnoticed among the other crew members of the Devil's Storm. Swindle slammed open the door to the ship's lowest deck. "Will you quit that racket!" he snarled. "And leave the merchandise alone. It's not worth anything stressed."
Vortex fanned out his rotors, then folded them. "How many pieces of plating can I pry off before it counts as stressed?" He cackled again, almost drowning out Blade's angry whirring.
The Autobot Navy sailor threw himself against the rusty bars of the cage. "Captain Hot Spot won't let you get away with this!" He threw himself against the bars again and the cage shook, sloshing in the accumulated liquid the bottom of the bars rested in. "And when I get out, I'm going to rip out your support struts and beat you with them!"
Both the Decepticon pirates ignored him. "When we get closer to where the Guardian Glaive docks, you can snap off a rotor or two as proof we have it, but until then you're not to go near the captive." Vortex started to protest, but Swindle just waved his finger in front of his fellow Combaticon's visor. "Captain Onslaught's orders."
Swindle pulled his finger away when Vortex tilted his head, tracking the digit's movement, lest it get bitten off. Again. The helo made a disappointed sound, then flicked his armor dismissively. "Fine. I'll leave it alone. But if they don't pay…"
"Then you can torture it to your heart's content," assured the hover car. "Now leave it alone." Swindle gave the brig a disgusted look and stomped out, shaking the filthy liquid off his pedes as he slammed the door.
Vortex gave Blades one last eager, almost lecherous, look. "We both know Hot Spot won't pay," he purred. "Then I'll be back," he tapped the rusty lock twice, then followed his teammate out of the brig, "We should at least put him on the oars with the others; get some use out of him!" he called up to Swindle, fingering the electrowhip he used to… encourage the slaves to keep working.
"What part," Swindle called back, "of valuable don't you underst—?" The door slammed one last time, leaving Blades in the dripping, rusty dark.
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Can't wait in the mornin' the day to end,
And the touch of the whip is your only friend,
— Heather Alexander, Yo Ho!
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End
