Part 4: And there it is…
Staring at the shredder as the documents were cut into pieces, she could feel her heart slowly breaking. This was not the life she envisioned for herself when she fantasized about being whisked off her feet by some man who put her needs before her own and not other way around.
Sharon ran her thumb over the bands on her finger. The band that was given to her the night Jack proposed. It was quiet and intimate. Just them. Perfection. The second band was the ring he slipped on her finger, promising her for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, till death do them part. Listening to the whirring of the machine she tried to figure out which promise was a farce. If any of it had been true.
A near perfect 10 year marriage was lost. Lost to gambling, alcohol and affairs. She shook her head and swallowed hard as she picked up her pen and began to sign the document she saved. Everything, courtesy of her lawyer, filled out everything for her.
The terms of both her separation and divorce would entail different things, but she would retain custody of both children, they would live in the apartment she got, and when Jack was in town, if he was in town, he could have them for the weekend. Granted he stayed in town for that long.
"Mama," she hears. "Mama, look."
In Emily's little hands was a postcard from Jack. The Las Vegas strip printed on the front, his scratchy writing on the back. She didn't need to turn it over to know what he was going to say. He missed them. He missed the kids. Missed Los Angeles. Missed all the hustle and bustle of the town that he didn't get in Los Angeles. Yet he came back only when he wanted.
"Daddy sent you a postcard hmm?" Sharon asked, wrapping an arm around her daughter's thin waist. "This is a new one."
"I'm going to add it to my board," Emily said proudly, skipping away to the room that she shared with her brother.
Every time Jack sent her a postcard, she'd take it and attach it to the collage of cards that Jack had sent them over the past few months. The girl knew nothing of what was going on between her parents.
The doorbell rang and Emily came running out down the hallway, her eyes bright. Sharon expected her to ask if it was her father, but the question never came, just her running to the door and swinging it open.
On the other side was Andy, a bag of to-go food, that he had promised her the week or so before. Before he got wrapped up in a murder investigation and before she got involved in an officer related shooting that had enveloped their lives.
Sharon tucked the stack of papers underneath her latest book and took the stack, putting it in her desk drawer, closing it for later. She didn't think it was appropriate to talk about it with him, not when her children were around. Their little ears picked up on everything.
"Where's Ricky, Em?" Andy asked. "Did you cast some magic spell and make him disappear?"
Emily laughed. Sharon grinned and stood from her desk, rounding the corner, coming up behind Andy. A hand to his back was her greeting. Nothing more. Nothing less. Civil. Adult like.
He tossed a look over his shoulder and winked. He winked and she blushed. She felt like a teenager again.
"You want some of this?" He asked, popping open the styrofoam containers. It was a mixture of various chinese food; rice, broccoli beef, orange chicken, chow mein noodles - some food for everybody.
"Emily, why don't you go wake up your brother." Sharon said, keeping her eyes on Andy. The girl nodded and then the light bulb turned on in her head. "Nicely, please!"
The little girl's head came out from around the corner, her brown eyes full of mischievousness.
"No water?"
"No," Sharon said with a small smile.
"No pillow fight?"
"Nuh uh," Sharon said. She pointed at her daughter, watching as a dark glint flickered in her eye. "NIcely and gently go wake your brother up."
Defeated, Emily disappeared around the corner. They heard the creak of the door and it was then, as if on cue, Andy spun around, an arm around Sharon's waist.
"I haven't seen you in a week," Andy growled. "Not since, you know, with thing."
Sharon let out a sharp laugh, her eyes sparkling. She shook her head. "You're horrible."
"Like you're a saint?" Andy asked watching as she detangled herself from him, seperating them, by sticking the counter in between them. "You're evil when you want to be."
"I use it to my advantage." She grinned, reaching over and snatching a piece of chicken and quickly putting it into her mouth.
"Hey!" He quipped, reaching for her wrist. She was grinning ear to ear when Ricky came out, his blanket dragging behind him.
His fist was in his eyes, his hair askew; he didn't like being woken up from his naps. Especially from Emily. But she knew that if his sister woke him up, there was 100 percent assurance that the boy would seek out his mother, successfully getting him out of his room.
Already bent over waiting for him, Sharon took the boy into her arms, pressing her lips to the boys head. He'd be fine in a minute or so, but just after naps he was clingy. No one was good enough except for Mom.
"Someone is here to see you," Sharon whispered in his ear. Ricky burrowed himself deeper in her chest. "I promise you'll like it."
Ricky shook his head and stuck his thumb in his mouth. Emily was already getting herself a plate of food, assisted as usual by Andy.
The man wiped his hands off on the dishtowel and pointed to the table, silently instructing Emily to go settle herself in. The little girl nodded and did as she was told. Climbing up onto the chair, she pushed her food far enough so if she slipped, everything wouldn't come crashing down.
Andy dropped down to a crouch, his hand on Sharon's knee for support. She gave him a look, silently telling him to be have and he opened his mouth in surprise. He was being good.
"Hey kid," Andy said his voice low. Ricky buried his face further into Sharon's neck. Andy let his fingers dance up the boy's back, causing the kid to squirm. "You wanna say hi?"
Ricky shook his head. Sharon leaned back to get a look at her son's face. He was having too much fun with it.
And then Andy went in for the kill. Both hands at the boy's side had Ricky leaning back into Andy. Worked like a charm every time.
Both kids had long since been put to bed and Andy honestly didn't really feel like going home yet. Sharon had been quiet during dinner. She had been distant during the movie the kids didn't need to strong arm her to watch and she was quiet after she put the kids to bed. He had volunteered to clean up the mess while she read. He was in the bathroom when she came out, slipping out onto the balcony where she had been for the last couple of hours.
He didn't want to pry. He didn't intend on hurting her if that's what he did inadvertently. She was warm to him earlier, but now - he didn't know what was going on with her.
"Warm night tonight," he stated, slipping out and sliding the glass door behind him. The kids were still young enough to have a baby monitor - mostly for Ricky.
Unfortunately Emily wouldn't be any help if there was something wrong with her brother. The kid could and would sleep through just about anything.
He ran a hand over her back, taking note of her curling away from him. He sat close, but not as close as he would like.
"Got something on your mind?"
"I got served last week," Sharon said. She took a deep breath and tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "Divorce papers."
There wasn't much he could say to that. He himself had gotten served a few months ago and because it was a no-contest situation, he signed over whatever he signed over and that was that. There was no court. Thankfully.
"What do you have to give up?" Andy asked.
"Surprisingly nothing," she said quietly. "Well, he's trying to get half my pension and half of my savings – he gets to pay child support since he's the one who skipped town. At least that's what my lawyer is trying to get."
"You're not going to give him half are you?"
"Not if I can help it," she said. She shifted in her seat, curling her legs under her and resting her chin on her open palm. "The kids have been asking about him."
"Emily gets postcards," Andy said. "Of course they're going to be asking questions."
"Oh she's stopped asking when he was coming back," Sharon said with a small smile. "Ricky is asking about where he is and that just starts Emily on her postcards and the adventures he's been on."
"Adventures?" Andy questioned. "What do you mean he's going on adventures?"
She rolled her eyes. Even in the dark he could see it. Okay, he couldn't see it but he knew her well enough to know she was doing it.
"The hell if I know." She said rising. "What gets me is that he just shows up when he wants to. When he wants something."
She sighed and leaned against the railing of the balcony, clasping her hands in front of her. She was going to say something when the monitor came to life. She threw a look over her shoulder, already moving towards the door to check on the boy, when he settled down.
She let out a shaky breath.
"This is really bothering you." Andy said, standing and putting a hand on her back. "Like really bothering you."
"I never thought my marriage would end in such a shambles." She said. " I never thought that he would just throw it away like a pair of dice, taking a chance."
"What is your lawyer saying?"
"To take him for every penny he's worth, make him pay child support once a month, and hope to god he doesn't declare bankruptcy."
"Do you think he'll do it?"
"With Jack, I don't know any more."
She sighed again an ran a hand over her head, letting it rest there on the top of her head. She gave Andy a small smile.
"Why couldn't he be like you?"
"A broken down drunk?" Andy questioned, shoving his hands in his pockets. "I'm not much better than he is Sharon."
"We're all a little broken," she pointed out. "In some way, we're all broken. But I didn't mean it like that. You're good with my kids. You're an actual father."
"I don't even get to see my kids," Andy pointed out. "She won't let me."
"Because she doesn't see how you've changed," she said. "Every day you don't take a drink is a day you should be with your children."
He smiled softly at her and leaned in, pressing a kiss to her temple. "You're amazing."
"But I don't deserve you, right?" she shook her head. "I'm getting tired, maybe you -"
"I'll go," he said, nodding, sliding the glass door open to let them both into the warm apartment.
Quietly he gathered his things and as he did she checked on her kids. Ricky was on his back per usual. Emily was sprawled out in every which way, her head on her pillow, blanket half on the girl and half on the bed. Sharon smiled and turned her head to look at Andy, who was coming down the hallway to tell her goodbye.
He took a look into the room and saw the same thing she did. He couldn't help but smile himself.
After having closed the door, she leaned back against it for a brief moment before pushing herself off of it and going to Andy who was fixing his jacket. She smoothed her hands down his chest, the feel of leather warm against her palms.
"I shredded the divorce papers," she said quietly, looking up with a tilt of her head. "I got Separation papers too; same terms and everything."
"You're going to stay married to him?!" Andy growled. "What the hell, Sharon?"
"He's the father of my children, Andy. He's -" Her breath got caught in her throat as she tried to force a smile. "Financial issues are mostly at play here."
"So all that just now?" Andy questioned. "That was just letting me down easy, is that it?"
He spun around on his heel and took off for the front door. He swung it open and stormed out into the hallway, not caring that Sharon was behind him.
"Andy!"
"I'm in love with you," He said, spinning around and getting in her face. "I'm in love with you Sharon and if you can't see that then god help you and the man you married."
The elevator bell dinged. Her neighbor coughed. A baby cried.
'And there it is,' she thought. Her marriage was over. Her life as a married woman with a husband to come home to was over.
'And there it is,' she thought as she got into bed. Life would be forever altered the second her pen touched the papers.
Sharon Raydor the wife was no more.
And there it was. One life traded for another.
Thank you to all of you who have commented! I can't tell you how grateful I am that you all like this story. It will get a little bit fluffier, but this album that I'm basing these off of is rather angsty.
Continue to read, continue to review, I can't wait to see what you all think.
