Tyler smiled. "Of course," he said. "Come on in."
"You don't seem so surprised to see me," Selina told him as she followed him into the living room. "And most people would be if someone showed up at their door at this time of night."
He shrugged. "You hear things around town," he said.
Selina had no idea what that meant. "I think I'll just go up to my old room," she said. "I'll see you in the morning." She grabbed her bag and headed up the stairs, but he placed a restraining hand on her shoulder.
"Why are you going away so quickly?" he asked her. "Something is obviously wrong with you or you wouldn't be here with a bag full of clothes in the middle of the night. Do you want to talk about it?"
Selina shook her head. "No, not really. I'd rather just tuck myself into bed and forget the last half hour, all right? Good night, Tyler."
"Good night," he told her gloomily. This wasn't going the way he'd planned at all. "If you're having problems," he said, in a last ditch attempt to stop her staying by herself all night, "it might help you to talk about them. I'd be glad to listen."
Selina turned to look at him, thinking to herself for a moment. Surely the only reason why he was being so supportive was because he wanted something from her that he figured she'd be more willing to give in her current state of emotional fragility, but at the same time, she'd told Michael about it when the situation had actually occurred and nothing bad had happened afterward.
"All right," she said finally, "but we're not talking about it in either of our bedrooms, all right? We're going to talk about it here in the living room, and you're going to have your hands where I can see them at all times."
"All right, all right," he said, backing away from her and holding up his hands in a gesture of surrender. "I promise, I won't even breathe if you don't want me to."
So she sat next to him on the couch, but when she opened her mouth, the only words that came out were, "do you have any chamomile tea? I really need to get back to sleep."
He sighed. "You aren't going to tell me anything, are you?" he asked.
She shook her head. "I don't think so."
"Why not?" he asked. "Do you think you can't trust me? I'm family, remember that?"
"Yeah," Selina nodded. "So was Uncle Jacob, and remember what he was like."
Grudgingly, Tyler got up and went to the kitchen to get Selina her tea. When she'd finished the cup, she dropped her duffel bag beside the sofa, stretched out on it, leaned her head against one of the throw pillows and shut her eyes. A few minutes later, her breathing was steady and regular. She was asleep.
He stared at her for a few moments. She looked so harmless, with her hair falling over her face in messy curls and her tank top that was light pink and covered with hearts. After a moment, he went to the kitchen and grabbed a knife out of the silverware drawer. He took it back to the living room and made a cut on her arm. She gasped, but didn't wake up. He watched in fascination as her blood dribbled into the container. After a few drops, not nearly enough however, the wound healed of its own accord. So he tried again. This time though, she woke up.
"My God," she gasped, sitting up. She looked down at her arm and then stared back at him. "What the hell are you doing with that knife?" she asked.
He looked at it. "I don't know," he told her.
"Yes you do," she said. "And I want you to tell me. Now."
He carefully wiped the blood off the knife with his finger. "I can't tell you," he told her. "It's a secret."
"I'm leaving," Selina said. "If you were hoping to take advantage of me at an emotional moment, you failed miserably." She strolled out of the house and back to the car, and drove back to the boardinghouse. By the time she got into the driveway, she was crying again.
She stumbled inside and up the stairs. Tyler was right. Something was wrong with her. She needed to talk to somebody, just not him. She found the door to Stefan's room and opened it. "I'm upset," she said, wiping the tears from her eyes. "I need to talk to somebody now."
"Okay," he said as she looked up. "But can you wait a few minutes while we get dressed?"
She sniffled. "I'm sorry," she said. "What I have to say isn't really important. I'll just go back to my room and leave the two of you in peace." She turned away and was almost out the door when he spoke again.
"Just a minute," he said. "You never cry. Something is obviously wrong with you. Wait outside and we'll talk in a little bit."
She put her duffel bag next to the door of her bedroom and went to sit next to Stefan's door until he and Elena were properly attired and ready for conversation.
"We're ready now," Elena said, peeking around the doorframe. "Do you want to come in?"
"Sure," Selina replied, standing up and wiping her eyes.
"So what's wrong?" Stefan asked. "What's got you so worked up?"
"I had a bad dream," Selina said. "That's really stupid, I know, but it was about the day Damon shipped out and—"
"You had a dream about that?" Stefan asked. "Why?"
She shrugged and Elena handed her a tissue. "I don't know," she said, wiping her nose. "It just sort of happened. I didn't mean to think about it. In fact, after it happened, I promised myself I wouldn't think about it again."
"Why?" Elena asked. "Did anything bad happen? Besides Damon leaving, I mean?"
"Well," Selina told her, "up until the day Damon left, I was incredibly depressed. It all started the day I told Mama that Damon and I were engaged. She was really happy about it for a moment, and then I told her that Damon had also signed up at the recruitment office. Then, Mama asked me if I was worried about Damon dying in battle and my not being able to be married after all. That kinda burst my bubble, and for all intents and purposes, I mostly lost the will to live after that."
"You became suicidal?" Elena asked, putting her arms around Selina.
"I guess," Selina nodded. "The day Damon left was the worst. That was when I finally decided to end it all. I took a gun from their father's gun cabinet and put it to my temple. But just as I was about to pull the trigger, Damon showed up to tell me goodbye."
"So you put the gun away?" Stefan asked.
"Yes," Selina nodded. "Then, I went with you and your father to see him off."
"Did Damon ever notice you were suicidal?" Elena asked. "Did he ever say anything?"
"No," Selina shook her head. "And I didn't want to tell him, because he was so happy about going to fight, and his father was so proud, and it was the first time that had happened since we were kids. I didn't want my silly little problem to ruin the moment for him."
"It wasn't a silly problem," Elena said. "Your problems were valid. You should have told someone. Does he know now?"
"No," Selina said. "And I never thought I'd have to tell him. I thought it would all just go away."
"Actually," Stefan said, "he wasn't as clueless as you might think about what was going on with you. Remember when you left the room to go get that portrait of yourself? While you were gone, we had a little talk.
"'Something's wrong with Lina'," Damon observed as he watched her leave the room. 'She's been upset ever since she told her mother that we were engaged. I went to her mother's house afterward, to see if she'd actually told her mother, and when Lina answered the door, she looked as if she'd been crying.'
'I thought women usually cried when they got engaged', Stefan said.
'Well, of course,' Damon replied. 'But I think it's more than that. I think it has something to do with the fact that I leave today.'
'She can't be upset about that,' Stefan protested. 'She was happy for you when you first told her, wasn't she?'
'She was,' Damon nodded. 'But something's changed. Maybe it's because the time for me to leave has finally come, and like you so tactfully said, I might never come back.'
'So we know she's upset, but what do we do?' Stefan asked. 'We really can't do anything about it.'
'Yes, we can,' Damon nodded. 'Or at least I can. And it's really the right thing to do, since I care for her and all. I'll fight for a little while, and then, after a few months, I'm going to quit.'
'What?' Stefan asked. 'Why?'
'You know why,' Damon said. 'Selina's already lost her father fighting. 'I don't want her to lose me too. She's already suffered enough.'
'Father isn't going to be too happy about it,' Stefan remarked.
Damon nodded. 'I know,' he said. 'But honestly, I don't really care anymore. Lina's all that really matters now.' His eyes traveled to the door and saw that Selina was approaching. 'Shhh!,' he told Stefan. 'She's coming back. Remember, don't tell her anything about what we just discussed. I want it to be a surprise'."
"Are you serious?" Selina asked. "Did he seriously defy your father and risk his wrath just for my sake?"
"Yes," Stefan nodded. "That's why I stuck up for him when Father came down hard. Because I knew the real reason why he did it."
"Did your father ever know the real reason?" Selina asked. "Or did the two of you keep him in the dark?"
"He never knew," Stefan said. "Father and Damon never talked about stuff like that, besides, by the time the lecture came, you were already gone, and because of what you allegedly did, Father didn't really like you."
"That doesn't surprise me," Selina said, scoffing.
"You seem better," Elena observed.
"I think I am," Selina replied. "It's a good start, anyway."
"I think you should tell Damon next," Elena told her. "You owe him that much."
"I guess I do," Selina said, standing up. "And since I've already told the two of you, getting it out won't be all that difficult, I hope." She began walking toward the door, but a knock stopped her in her tracks.
She hurried back over to where Stefan and Elena were sitting by the bed and a second later, the door opened. "Have you two seen—" Damon began, and froze when he saw her. "There you are, Lina," he told her. "When I woke up and you were gone, I was worried."
She stood up. "I'm sorry," she told him. "I had a bad dream, and since you were asleep, I came in here and Stefan and Elena were kind enough to let me pour my heart out."
"Do you want to tell me what happened?" he asked.
"Yes, she does," Elena answered, standing up and shoving Selina toward the door. "She definitely does."
Selina followed Damon back into their bedroom and settled herself on the bed.
"So," Damon told her, standing in from of the bed with his arms crossed, "do you want to talk now?"
"Yes," Selina nodded, getting off the bed and coming around to stand next to him. "But first, I want to do this." And she hugged him so hard, lost his breath.
"What was that for?" he asked once they'd both let go.
"For everything," Selina said, smiling. "Even the stuff I'm not supposed to know about."
"Stefan told you about all that?" Damon asked, sitting back down on the bed.
"Yeah," Selina nodded, sitting next to him and taking his hand. "But only because that bad dream I had was about the day you shipped out. You were right in thinking I was depressed, because I was."
"Why?" Damon asked. "Did it have to do with me going away?"
"Yep," Selina nodded. "After Mama found out that you'd signed up, she asked me if I was worried about not being able to be married because you died fighting."
"Why would she bring that up?" Damon asked.
Selina shrugged. "I don't know. I guess it was because of all the pain she went through with Daddy. She probably wanted me to be prepared mentally so that if I got bad news, I'd be able to handle it more gracefully. That didn't work out so well. After our little chat, I felt like I'd lost the will to live, you know? And every day it got worse. Until, finally, on the day you shipped out, I planned to shoot myself with one of your father's pistols so that I'd be there in heaven to greet you when you died."
"What?" Damon asked. "When?"
"Just before you came to tell me goodbye, as a matter of fact," Selina said. "If you'd arrived a few seconds later, you would have found my head blown to pieces."
"Well," he said, putting his arms around her, "it was good that I arrived when I did then."
"Yeah," Selina nodded, putting her head on his shoulder and shutting her eyes. She was asleep soon after.
Damon looked down at her and ran his fingers through her hair and kissed her forehead. "Sweet dreams, Lina," he whispered. "Sweet dreams."
