I don't understand. What did I do? Why is he so angry at me? I didn't lie to him. I didn't do anything…

"Kurt, honey, are you feeling okay?" Carole's voice was filled with concern.

"Yes, I'm… I'm fine."

Kurt forced himself to offer a reassuring smile, though he couldn't maintain eye contact for long – not when faced with the gentle, searching expression in her eyes. When she reached out across the table to touch the back of his hand, Kurt felt the familiar tingling sensation behind his eyes, and knew he wouldn't be able to hold out much longer.

"Actually, I… I'm not feeling so well," he admitted at last, his voice trembling slightly as he pushed back his chair and rose to his feet.

Burt frowned, looking up at him with critical concern. "What's the matter, kiddo?" he asked. "You're not coming down with something, are you?"

"You didn't have any breakfast," Carole pointed out. "Maybe you just need to eat something…"

The thought of food at that moment made Kurt's stomach lurch dangerously. He shook his head, swallowing back the nausea that rose in the back of his throat, unable to bring himself to meet anyone's eyes as he weakly responded.

"No, I… I think I just need to lie down for a little while. I'll be okay," he insisted, heading out of the kitchen and down the hallway before anyone could try to stop him.

Kurt's head was beginning to ache, his stomach rebelling, as he tried to make sense of Blaine's unexpected anger. He couldn't think of anything he might have done to bring it on. The night before, everything had seemed fine between them. He'd known that he'd have to keep some distance between himself and Finn if he was going to keep the peace between himself and his boyfriend – but he'd barely so much as spoken to Finn so far today.

And now he won't even speak to me. He wouldn't even look at me at the table.

What the hell did I do?

Kurt had barely opened the door to his room when he heard Blaine's voice, soft with worry, but still as unfailingly polite as ever. "Excuse me for a moment. I'm just going to go down and check on him, if that's all right."

Kurt momentarily considered locking his bedroom door, but then decided against it.

No… at least he apparently wants to talk to me now. Maybe I can find out what he's so upset about, and explain whatever this misunderstanding is. And, if I lock him out, that's only going to piss him off even more…

A little quiver of fear coiled in the pit of his stomach, and Kurt swallowed hard, his mouth suddenly dry.

There's nothing to worry about. He's not going to hit me… not here, not with my family upstairs. And besides, he's not going to do that anyway – not ever again.

He promised.

Kurt left the door closed but unlocked and made his way down the stairs. He had barely reached the bottom when the door opened again, and he heard Blaine's swift footsteps making their way down. Kurt turned to face his boyfriend, barely able to make out his form through the sheen of tears that obscured his vision.

"Blaine, please, I don't understand. What did I…"

"Where were you this morning?" Blaine cut him off in an accusing hiss, both hands suddenly fisted in the soft fabric of Kurt's shirt and pushing him up against the wall at the base of the stairs. "And don't lie to me!"

"I-I wasn't lying…"

Kurt was unable to control the tremor in his voice as he raised his trembling hands to press just slightly against Blaine's chest, not quite pushing him away. Suddenly, he felt as if Blaine was unsettlingly, frighteningly close, and just wanted to put a little distance between them – but Blaine didn't take the hint, didn't back off at all. If anything, he edged in closer, and Kurt instinctively pressed back against the wall behind him.

"I… I just went to meet…"

"I know you weren't with Mercedes!" Blaine snapped. "So don't even try…"

Kurt froze, staring up at Blaine in startled confusion. As he noted the frustrated tremor in Blaine's voice, and the furious resentment burning in his dark eyes, the uneasy sensation in the pit of Kurt's stomach intensified, and an unpleasant suspicion began to build in his mind.

"How… how could you know that?"

"She called yesterday, while you were packing and I was waiting for you to be ready. You were in the bathroom, and I answered your phone," Blaine explained in an impatient, dismissive tone. "She told me she and her family were going out of town for the next few days; I just forgot to give you the message."

Kurt shook his head, frowning as his suspicions deepened. "I called her when I got to her house and she wasn't home. She… she said she left me a voicemail…" A disturbing thought occurred to him, and his eyes widened with dismay. "Blaine – have you been checking my voicemail?"

"Damn it, Kurt!" Blaine snarled, slamming his fist hard into the wall inches from Kurt's head. "Do not try to make this about me!"

Kurt flinched violently at the sudden threatening gesture, raising a shaking hand to shield his face from the blow he had expected to land. Instead of hitting him, however, Blaine just grabbed both of his arms in a bruising grip, shaking him hard and slamming him into the wall with enough force to make him cry out in pain. Blaine raised one hand threateningly, poised to deliver a backhand blow across Kurt's face, and Kurt quickly stifled the sound, shaking his head pleadingly and holding up a trembling hand in a placating gesture.

"I'm sorry," he whispered breathlessly. "Please, I'm sorry…"

Kurt could feel Blaine's hand trembling on his arm, his fingers digging painfully into Kurt's flesh, and his mind raced with panic.

He's so angry… you've got to calm him down, got to get him to realize what he's doing before…

"I asked Carole what time you left, Kurt," Blaine explained in a frighteningly restrained voice, overly patient as if he were speaking to a child. "You were gone way too long this morning to have just gone to Mercedes' house, realized she wasn't there, and come home. So I'm going to ask you again, and if you lie to me, you will regret it, Kurt. Where. Were. You?"

"I j-just went for a drive," Kurt insisted, his voice hushed and subdued, his eyes fearfully downcast. "I just… missed it here, you know? So… so I just drove around for a while. You were asleep, I didn't think you'd care… please, I'm sorry, Blaine, I just… didn't think it mattered…"

Blaine nodded thoughtfully, as if considering Kurt's explanation, before lowering his free hand to grasp Kurt's other arm, tightening his grip on both and pushing in closer until Kurt was overwhelmed with the claustrophobic feeling of being totally trapped, unable to escape. Blaine's voice was low and trembling with barely controlled anger as he countered softly, his dark eyes glittering with unshed tears.

"Is that why Finn was gone this morning, too, Kurt? Is that why when I woke up, he wasn't home, and neither of your parents seemed to know where he'd gone? He showed up about ten minutes before you did, you know. So do you want to explain that to me?"

Kurt felt a cold feeling of dread tightening in his chest with Blaine's words, his heart sinking with despair.

Finn's timing couldn't have been any worse. He's never going to believe me now…

"I don't have any idea where he was," Kurt insisted, shaking his head, tears falling from his eyes to streak his face as he slid his arms downward in Blaine's grasp, trying to get enough freedom of movement to touch his boyfriend, to somehow reassure him. He could see the hurt and insecurity written all over Blaine's face, knew what it felt like to be so vulnerable, to want someone so badly…

But I really didn't do anything. There's nothing between Finn and me. I have to make him see that, somehow… I have to make him understand...

"Blaine, please… I don't know what he was doing, I swear I wasn't with him. Please… please, can't you just trust me?"

"Trust you?" Blaine sneered, meeting Kurt's eyes with a cold, bitter smile. "Trust you?" He leaned in close to Kurt's ear, pausing for dramatic effect before whispering cruelly, "If you weren't such a sneaky, lying little slut… then maybe I could."

Kurt flinched at the harsh words, his tears increasing, his mouth trembling with the effort to hold back the sobs that rose in his throat. He wanted to defend himself, wanted to argue that he'd never been with anyone else, never willingly kissed anyone else, never so much as touched any other boy besides Blaine; but Blaine would only say he was lying again, and get angrier, and hurt him worse than he had already, and if this scene got any louder, if his family heard and came down here, and saw what was happening…

Kurt's face flushed with the anticipation of a shame that he was determined not to let himself experience. He swallowed back the sobs that choked him, struggling to regain his composure.

"I-I'm sorry," he whispered. "Please, Blaine… I don't want anyone but you, you know that. Please… please calm down… please don't…"

Blaine's eyes narrowed with fury, and he shoved Kurt hard against the wall, then grabbed him by the hair, smiling coldly when Kurt bit back a yelp of pain and fear. His words were taut and measured, yet dangerously balanced on the edge of sheer rage, as he retorted softly, "I am perfectly calm, Kurt. Quit telling me to…"

His words broke off abruptly at the sound of a soft knock on the door at the top of the stairs. Kurt's heart raced in his throat, his palms damp as his entire body broke out in a cold sweat. He looked up at Blaine with wide eyes, biting his lower lip, unsure of what to do. He knew that if anyone came down here and saw him right now, it wouldn't matter that Blaine hadn't struck a single blow, hadn't left a visible mark on him. His hair was damp and disheveled, his face streaked with tears, and he couldn't stop shaking.

All anyone would have to do was take one look at his face to know that something was very wrong here.

"You said you were coming down here to lie down," Blaine reminded him coldly. "So go lie down. I'm done, anyway. It's not like you're going to tell me the truth. I don't even wanna look at you right now."

Kurt had expected to feel relieved when Blaine finally backed off and let him go, but all he felt was a cold, empty feeling of rejection. He wrapped his arms around his torso, trying to control the sick, shaky feeling in his stomach as he made his way on leaden legs to his bed and fell down onto it, turning his back to the door. He didn't bother to try to stop the silent tears that streamed down his face. When Blaine turned off the light at the bottom of the stairs before making his way up, Kurt closed his eyes and listened to the sound of the door opening, and Blaine's and Finn's quiet voices, muffled slightly as they moved away from the door.

"Is he okay, dude?"

"Yeah… yeah, he's fine. He's just not feeling well right now."

"He's gonna miss the presents…"

"Nah, let's just wait a little bit, let him rest. He'll feel better in a little while."

"Okay… if you're sure."

Kurt was desperately, painfully confused.

He didn't know whether to feel relieved or disappointed that Finn had so easily accepted Blaine's reassurances. He was glad that Blaine was walking away, was leaving him alone without really hurting him – and yet, he wanted nothing more than for Blaine to hold him close and soothe his tears and tell him that he was forgiven and that everything was going to be okay.

He's just so afraid of losing me, that's all – but I try so hard to make him see that he doesn't have to be… I love him so much, but I keep screwing up, and he keeps getting mad, and…

I just have to try harder. I just have to be better. If I can just be better, for him, then this won't happen anymore…

Come on, Kurt, get it together. Get it together, and figure out how to make this right, before you ruin Christmas for everyone.