Chapter 4
Maura was just finishing her autopsy report on the double homicide when Jane came down. Maura knew she'd been interviewing people connected to the couple all day, and she looked exhausted.
"Jane." Maura smiled warmly. "How did the interviews go?"
Jane shrugged. "As far as anyone knows, neither of them were having an affair, and they had no enemies."
"You'll find something," Maura promised.
"I suppose our killer wasn't good enough to leave any of himself behind?"
"Not that I have found. He had stamina, though. He stabbed Ashley twenty-seven times. It's actually very exhausting to stab someone that many times."
"And you know this how?"
Maura chose to ignore that. "No sign of sexual assault."
"Maybe he's impotent," Jane suggested. "And he's really pissed about it."
"It is possible that he was seeking sexual release from this form of penetration because he's unable to have intercourse."
"So, could be about rage, could be about sex. Could be someone they knew. Could be Boston's next serial killer." Jane leaned wearily against the wall.
"I'll be ready to go home as soon as I wrap up here. How about you?"
Jane rubbed her forehead. "I'm ready now."
"Would you like to order a pizza so we can pick it up on the way home? And then maybe I can help you relax?"
Jane smiled for the first time since getting to work that day. "You really are the best."
Maura smiled and returned to her report as Jane went off to her office to order the pizza. Maura's inexplicable apprehension was slowly waning, but she had noticed that it resurfaced each morning when they walked into work. Saying goodbye to Jane at the elevators would make her stomach tighten, as if she were sending Jane off into grave danger just by letting her go upstairs to the Homicide unit. But until she could figure out what was causing her to feel that way, she felt it was best not to mention it to Jane anymore.
After they'd gotten home and enjoyed their pizza, beer (for Jane), and wine (for Maura), Maura led her wife upstairs with the promise of a backrub.
"I really don't know what I did to deserve you," Jane said as she disrobed and stretched out on her stomach on her side of the bed.
"Is that a joke, or you really don't know?" Maura asked, emerging from the bathroom in a silk robe, massage oils in her hands.
Jane smiled to see that Maura had also undressed. "Sometimes, I really don't know."
"You love me more, and treat me better, than anyone else ever has," Maura said simply. "You make me happy. That's why you deserve me." She stood at the side of the bed, rubbing sweet-scented oil on her hands.
Jane shivered in anticipation. "I'm not as thoughtful as you are though."
Maura ran her fingers up Jane's spine. "I think you're very thoughtful." She began to massage Jane's latissimus dorsi. Jane made a small sound of approval.
"You're the one giving the amazing backrub."
Maura climbed onto the bed, straddled Jane's hips, and began working Jane's trapezius with her fingers. "You're the one who needs it right now. And I enjoy doing it." She moved her fingers up to Jane's neck. She could feel her relaxing and knew she'd be losing her words soon, which was good because her silly "I-don't-deserve-you" talk was not very conducive to proper relaxation.
Jane was quiet for several minutes. "Well, at any rate, I think you're the best thing ever," she murmured at last.
"The feeling is mutual." Maura leaned forwards and planted a trail of kisses down the side of Jane's neck, then ran her tongue back up. She found Jane's pulsing jugular, nibbled and sucked it, feeling the pulse quicken with Jane's arousal. She began moving her lips along Jane's shoulder.
"I'm guessing the innocent backrub portion of the evening is over now?" Jane asked.
"Oh, Jane." Maura rolled off of her and nudged her onto her back. "It was never an innocent backrub."
Jane grinned and untied Maura's robe, sliding it off her shoulders. "This is why I love you."
Maura flashed a smile before lowering her body onto Jane's. She began to kiss her, parting Jane's lips with her tongue and sliding her own tongue inside while grinding her hips against Jane's. She slid her hands in between them, alternately kneading Jane's breasts and flicking her nipples with her fingertips. Jane moved her hips in rhythm with Maura's, sliding her hands gently up and down Maura's body.
Maura started working her way downward. She ran her tongue around Jane's right breast several times before sucking the nipple into her mouth, eliciting a moan from Jane. She rolled the nipple between her teeth, very carefully, not wanting to cause any pain. When she was finished she blew gently on the wet nipple, causing goosebumps to raise on Jane's skin. While doing the same to the left breast, she reached a hand down and began circling Jane's clit with deft fingers. Jane threw her head back, hands now stilled on Maura's back, pelvis tilting upwards to request more.
Maura moved down further and replaced her fingers on Jane's clit with her tongue. Jane moaned and tried to push herself further into Maura's mouth. Maura seized Jane's hips with both hands and licked her clit faster, then slower, then faster again, until she sensed Jane was close to the edge. Then she withdrew.
"Maura! No!" Jane cried desperately, grabbing at Maura's head as if to pull her back down.
"Don't worry, I'll get you there," Maura said sweetly, wetting two fingers and sliding them inside of Jane, hearing her gasp. She watched Jane's face as she slid her fingers in and out, pressing her clit with her thumb, until Jane closed up around her fingers, crying out and arching her back with her orgasm. Maura smiled to herself. She loved watching Jane climax whenever she could. She loved seeing Jane's beautiful features in the throes of ecstasy, loved knowing she was doing that to her. She waited while Jane rocked her hips, trying to get every last bit of pleasure. When Jane relaxed, she pulled her fingers out and lay down beside her, slowly licking her fingers, making sure Jane saw her do it.
"You are too sexy for words," Jane said, her voice even huskier than usual. She gazed at Maura for another moment before moving to take her into her arms. She rolled Maura onto her back and lay on top of her, covering her face and neck in kisses before pulling back to look into her eyes. Maura smiled at her eagerly, but suddenly Jane's faced changed. She rolled off of Maura as if horrified.
Maura sat up. "Jane? What's wrong?" She looked down at her body, trying to understand what it was about her that moved Jane from desire to revulsion so quickly.
"I'm sorry, Maura. Something just…popped into my head. Let's try a different position."
"Did I do something wrong?"
"No. It's not you at all. Come here, beautiful girl." She sat up and pulled Maura up with her. Maura felt uncertain, but she was already so close to coming after seeing Jane's orgasm. She let Jane pull her onto her lap, wrapping her legs around Jane's waist and her arms around Jane's neck. Jane held Maura close and kissed her before sliding her right hand around to squeeze Maura's left breast, and then sliding her left hand down between Maura's legs. Finding her sufficiently drenched, she slid her fingers inside, causing Maura to grip her tighter. Maura pushed the odd incident out of her mind for the time being and just rode Jane's fingers, wrapping her body as tightly around Jane's as she could.
"Come on, sweet girl," Jane whispered. "You're almost there." The words were enough to send Maura over the edge, throwing her head back while clinging to Jane's muscular shoulders. She stayed wrapped around Jane for a bit, waiting for her breathing to return to normal, and then she slowly disengaged herself and lay back on her pillow.
"My beautiful Maura." Jane leaned down to kiss Maura's face before lying down beside her.
"What happened? Why didn't you want to be on top of me?"
"Don't worry about it. It wasn't you; it was just me being stupid." Jane's eyes were pleading. It was clear she wanted to move on without any further discussion.
"You looked like you suddenly thought I was disgusting or something."
"Maura! I could never think that about you!"
"What was it, then?"
Jane hesitated, taking Maura's hand and lacing their fingers together. "It was an intrusive thought," she said finally. "You understand those."
Maura nodded. She didn't have them so much anymore, but there had been a time, shortly after her abduction over a year and a half ago, when she had barely been able to function for all the intrusive thoughts charging into her head.
"It just sort of popped up, and I felt like a bad guy for a second. I know it doesn't make any sense, but it was how I felt. I didn't want to hurt you."
Maura squeezed her hand. "You could never."
"I know." Jane squeezed back and then pulled Maura into her arms. Maura rested her head on Jane's chest, listening to her heartbeat and breathing until the reassuring sound lulled her to sleep.
