Ok, this took me WAYYY longer than I said so, huh? I'm so sorry about that, but I really appreciate you all still sticking with this story! Love you all!

Oh, and I'll be having a little break from basketball for about a month until the spring season starts, so updates will come a lot more regularly!


"James! C'mon! We're going to play dome hockey then ride Swirly!"

James shook his head and looked around the bathroom. After thinking for a moment, he remembered what day it was. Friday. Which meant that today was Fish Stick Friday. James inwardly groaned. He didn't want to deal with this. He didn't want to do Fish Stick Friday this week. But James didn't know how to say that without drawing suspicion to himself, so he decided not to say anything about it at all. "I'll be right there."

Slowly, James made his way over to the bathroom door. He took a deep breath before turning the knob and leaving his safe haven. He made his way through the cluttered bedroom and into the living room. Kendall, Carlos, and Logan were already at the couch, controllers in hand.

"There you are!" Carlos yelled. "We were waiting for you!"

"Sorry…" James mumbled as he took a seat on the couch and grabbed the extra controller. As they begin playing, James could feel that something was off. He wasn't getting into it as much as he usually did. He just didn't care. It wasn't long before the other guys noticed it too.

"Ok," Kendall started. He paused the game and turned to look at James. "What is going on with you?"

"What are you talking about?" James asked, playing dumb.

Kendall crossed his arms. "You're just… acting different. So what's going on?"

Mimicking Kendall, James crossed his arms too. "I'm just tired."

Logan stood up. "That's what you keep saying. But you're in your room all the time, sleeping."

James fell silent, knowing that what Logan had said was yet another lie he had told. His silence didn't last long, however, and he spoke back up. "Is it so wrong to be tired? You know what? I'm just going to go rest."

Carlos started to pout and his eyes filled with tears. "What about Fish Stick Friday?"

James' tone softened just the slightest when he spoke to Carlos. "It's ok, Carlos. Just do it without me this week." After he said this, James turned and went back to his room to sleep, or so his friends thought. James knew where he was really going.


"What was that about?" Kendall asked once he heard the bedroom door shut.

Carlos threw down his controller. "I don't even want to do Fish Stick Friday anymore."

Logan sighed. "Maybe he's just… sick?"

"Maybe…" Kendall said, sounding unconvinced.

"Well, let's just play dome hockey and let him sleep," Logan said, turning away from the TV. Carlos and Kendall sighed and got up. The three of them started to play, but soon grew bored since they couldn't play an actual game with only three people. After wondering around for a few minutes, Mrs. Knight called the boys and Katie to come and eat.

As Carlos and Logan were setting the table, Kendall went to go get James. Since it was his room too, Kendall didn't knock and just went in. He looked over to his bed to find it empty and soon realized that James was in the bathroom. "James?" Kendall said as he knocked on the door. "C'mon, food's ready."

James response was so muffled and quiet, Kendall had trouble hearing him. It took a few times of James repeating himself, but Kendall finally got the message. "I'm not hungry. Just go eat without me."

Kendall frowned. "Are you sure? You're not hungry?"

"No."

Kendall sighed and turned to leave. "Alright then. Come out if you change your mind."

"Ok."

As James listened from the bathroom, he could hear the worry in Kendall's voice. He didn't to worry his friends, he really didn't. But they couldn't know. If they did, he would be forced to stop. And James couldn't do that.

Because what James didn't know was that he was addicted.


The days passed. James continued to take his pills and the signs began to show. He never went to the pool or out anywhere with his friends. He barely ate, he barely slept, he barely showered. Anxious and paranoid, James began to fall away from his household responsibilities and even his singing began to suffer. James just didn't care about anything anymore. Mood changing more often than seemingly possible, James isolated himself and school or Big Time Rush was no longer a priority. Pills were James' only priority. He didn't even care about his hair anymore. He hadn't put a single Cuda product in it for a week and his hair was noticeably suffering.

So as James once again declined his friends' request for him to come with the pool with them, they had enough of not knowing what was going on.

"What is wrong with you?" Kendall said angrily as James started to their room.

"What are you talking about?" James asked, stopping in his tracks.

"You know exactly what we're talking about," Kendall said. "What is wrong? Why won't you talk to us?"

"Kendall, I've told you before and I'll tell you again. Nothing is wrong."

"That's crap, James! You know, I know, Logan and Carlos know that something is wrong!"

James looked at Logan and Carlos, who were silently sitting on the couch, not wanting to get into this. "I take it Kendall is speaking for all of you?"

After looking at each other, the two boys nodded. "We're worried, James," Carlos said. "We just want to help."

"There is nothing wrong! Why won't you all just leave me alone?"

Logan stood up. "Because we know there is something else wrong, James! We can see it! You've lost so much weight. You don't eat or sleep. You don't care about your hair or singing anymore. Your eyes are always bloodshot. Heck, last week Mama Knight asked you to pick up Katie from the zoo and you didn't! She had to call Kendall to come get her! That's not like you at all!"

"I've just been stressed, ok? I'm sorry!"

"No," Kendall said. "There's something else wrong."

"Are you sick?" Logan asked. "Is that what's going on?"

They were getting too close. James was slipping. So he did the only thing he knew how to get out. He lied. "I just… I don't feel good."

Logan smiled just the slightest. "You're just sick then? That's it?"

James nodded, feeling guiltier by the second.

Logan took him by the arm. "Ok then. Let's just get you to bed. What hurts?"

"My… uh, stomach. And head. And, uh, my throat."

"I'll get you some medicine," Logan said.

"Pills?" James asked, trying not to sound too excited.

"If that's what you want, then ok."

Logan took James into his room and put him in his bed. He tried to feel for a fever, but James didn't let him, he just asked for the medicine. Logan brought him a bottle of pills to help and left it on James' nightstand. As soon as Logan left, James took a handful of pills and swallowed them quickly, then threw the bottle under his bed along with his growing collection of pill bottles.

James knew that he wasn't being careful. His friends were getting closer and closer and if he wasn't more careful, it wouldn't be long before they found out.


Crap. That's all I can say about this chapter. I know, I kept you waiting so long only to give you this. I'm really sorry, but I just didn't know what to put. I was stuck and I still am. I'm so sorry.

So to make up with the long wait and the suckiness of this chapter, I'll try to get a new chapter up by Monday. Again, I'm really sorry this chapter sucks really bad.