Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling. I just found the page break icon. Very pleased about that.
Sirius gave another involuntary shudder. He was having difficulty getting his head around the fact that his four year old cousin was now older than him and appeared to have some form of interest in his friend Remus. He and Ella had been in the lounge room for over half an hour now. Ella had suggested they go back into the store cupboard to spy on the meeting, but Sirius refused. Ella had asked why he didn't just talk to Remus about it. This earned her a scoff and evil glare. Despite the fact that he thought it was weird, Sirius was not about to demand his friend not see his cousin merely because he didn't like it. After all, Remus was a werewolf and it couldn't be easy for him to find someone who accepted him as he was. No, Sirius had a much subtler plan in mind.
"Little Nymphie!!!" He cried out when the meeting adjourned and everyone met up in the lounge room. Tonks looked at him as though he was crazy.
"My my, look how grown up you are! The last time I saw you, you were," Sirius put his hand down to his knee, "this high. If you guess how many fingers I'm holding up, I'll give you a lollypop."
"Sirius, I haven't played that game with you since I was six. And it's Tonks, not 'Nymphie'." Tonks replied. Sirius didn't take any notice. He glanced in Remus' direction while he held his hand behind his back and waited for Tonks to guess. She looked at him and smiled, rolling her eyes.
Meanwhile, Remus was looking at Sirius as though he had two heads. He didn't remember his friend being so…odd. He caught Ella's eye and made his way over to her.
"Why is Sirius acting so strange?" Remus asked.
"He knows about you and Nymphadora." Remus' eyes widened.
"What, how-there's nothing going on between me and Tonks." He looked at Ella and realised he couldn't fool her. He sighed.
"How did he know?"
"We spied on the meeting. We figured it out."
"We?"
"Well, I figured it out. Sirius just spazzed out."
"He didn't take it well?"
"Considering he babysat her only a couple of weeks ago, you could say he's a little freaked."
"I see." Remus looked toward Tonks, then at the ground. "It doesn't matter anyway. We're not together."
"Yeah, we figured that out too." Remus gave her a look. "Okay, I figured it out. Do you mind me asking why you're not together?"
Ella internally reprimanded herself. She didn't mean to sound so forward but she was curious.
"It just wouldn't have worked, there were too many things to get past. And then Sirius died and-" Remus trailed off.
He had no idea why he was telling this to Ella. She couldn't possibly understand his reasons for calling off what he had with Tonks. She didn't know about him being a werewolf or about the new war. She didn't know that he had lost so many people close to him or that one of his friends had betrayed them all and was the cause of many of those deaths. He looked down and saw Ella looking up at him with sympathy in her eyes. It should have been him giving her sympathy. He looked back to where Sirius was still playing his 'guess how many fingers' game. Tonks had finally given in.
"Alright. Four."
"Correct." Sirius produced a large yellow lollypop and Tonks took it from him.
"It was always four. You always let me win." She said. There was a sadness to her voice. She sniffed and suddenly hugged Sirius, holding on tight. He was taken aback slightly but hugged back when he got over his shock.
"We've missed you. It hasn't been the same." She said in a low voice.
"Hey, lollypops are meant to cheer you up, not bring you down. How can you be unhappy with a yellow lollypop?" Sirius comforted gently.
Tonks pulled away and swatted him. He was just as she remembered as a small child.
'It's not the lollypop, it's you, you berk. I'm so glad you're back but this is fucking weird." There was a hiss from the corner of the room. Apparently the older lady with red hair disapproved of the use of language.
"Sorry Molly, but you have to admit its-"
"Alright dear, yes we know. Just, try to express yourself with as little cussing as possible." The lady, Molly, made her way over to Sirius and held out her arms.
"My goodness, look at you! You'd only be around my Ron's age. Such a healthy, good looking young boy!"
As Molly embraced Sirius, he looked over her shoulder toward Ella who smiled and raised her eyebrow at him. She found it amusing that even older women found him attractive. As Molly let go, Sirius decided to put on his charm.
"So you're the purveyor of fine foods and desserts then?"
"I'm not sure about calling my cooking 'fine foods and desserts' but I could hardly let you two starve now could I? Where is the young lady? Ella is it?"
For the first time since coming into the lounge room, everyone took notice of Ella. She was still donning her crazy cat-lady appearance. Never had she felt as self conscious as she did now. Molly walked up to her and embraced her just as she did Sirius.
"It's lovely to meet you dear. Now, let me have a look at you." Molly stood back and placed her hands on Ella's shoulders, looking her up and down.
"My goodness, you look a right mess. Not to worry, I brought along some clothes for you. You're a lot taller than my Ginny, but I can easily fix them up for you." Ella looked rather sheepish, but managed to uphold a polite manner. She did feel her dignity had fallen a few notches though.
"Thank you. It's a pleasure to meet you ma'am."
"Such lovely manners you have! But please, call me Molly."
"Well thank you Molly."
"Not a problem! I'm just off to the kitchen to get a start on dinner. It's never too early when you've got plenty of mouths to feed."
As Molly left the room, there was a shuffle as everyone hurried to greet the two time travellers. Sirius and Ella were now acquainted with Kingsley Shacklebolt and Alastor Moody along with Nymphadora Tonks and Molly Weasley. They realised the man with the long overcoat was not there. Not that they cared too much as they hadn't noticed him as someone they knew anyway. Throughout the afternoon, Sirius made sure to keep an eye on Remus while he stayed close to his cousin. Unfortunately Sirius still hadn't learnt any subtlety and was continually trying to play with Tonks as though she was a child again. After a couple of hours and getting to know the newcomers, Sirius realised Ella had been missing for quite some time. He excused himself from the conversation in the lounge room and went looking about the house. Really there was only one place she would be.
Sirius ascended the stairs in his search for Ella. He had been growing tired of endless conversations about his older self, especially since everyone was making sure not to give away any information about the outside world. He didn't see why it should matter. What could be worse than knowing the exact age, time and manner of your own death? He thought of Ella and about how she had no knowledge of how she died. In a strange way Sirius was comforted knowing how he had died as it erased any suspicions he had about the event. Knowing that he died in battle made him feel as though his death at least meant something; that he had died fighting for what he believed in. Knowing that a family member killed him merely justified his feelings of hate and anger toward the Blacks. Ella was not fortunate to have this comfort. Sirius had thought a lot about how Ella had left this world. He couldn't imagine what thoughts may be going through her own mind, having such an unanswered question hovering around. Had she been murdered as he had been? Had she simply died in her sleep? Had she died from some exotic disease? Had she taken her own life? Sirius was certainly glad that he knew what had happened to him. It was a reason to get out of his slump, to accept it and move on, or at least be motivated to return to his own time. As Sirius reached Ella's door, he didn't know what he was going to say and he didn't care. He just wanted to get away from talks of the future and see if she was alright. He was sure he would come up with something. Unlike Ella, he wasn't bothered by silences and never worried about whether a conversation would be interesting or not. He knocked on the door.
"Ella?" He asked, waiting for a response.
"Hang on! Be there in a tick!"
On the other side of the door, Ella had been dressed in only a towel, putting the finishing touches on the clothes Molly had given her. Although the clothes were not brand new or very stylish, Ella was glad to get out of her school robes. Upon hearing Sirius, she rushed around; pulling on a combination of articles she had finished modifying. The last thing she needed was to go from looking like a crazy cat-lady to scantily clad towel-whore. After a minute she walked over to the door and let Sirius in.
"Sorry bout that. Why aren't you downstairs? I'm sure everyone wants to talk to you."
"Yeah, it got a bit boring. All they did was talk about me."
"Oh I'm sure you were just hating that." Ella replied. Sirius tilted his head while looking at her.
"You know, sarcasm really doesn't suit you." Ella didn't know how to reply. Sirius continued, unfazed.
"Anyway, I noticed you'd gone and thought I could escape for a while. What were you doing up here? You've been gone for ages." Ella pointed to the pile of clothes scattered over the spare bed.
"Went to the kitchen to see if Molly needed a hand and instead she gave me all these clothes so I've been up here modifying them. They were a bit small." She said, setting herself down on the bed she had claimed on her first night in Grimmauld place. Sirius nodded in a knowing manner.
"And you showered I see." Ella's hair was still wet and she was currently in the process of brushing her locks.
"I figured that I should look at least a bit presentable when we have company."
"Oh I don't know about that. The crumpled robes and crazy hair could have been your new look. And I would always look better than you without even trying!" Sirius answered playfully. He had achieved his aim. Ella had laughed.
"Believe me; I wouldn't want to compete with you. I don't think I could stand all the maintenance." She answered.
"Maintenance? What maintenance, this is all natural I'll have you know." Ella paused while putting her hair into a ponytail and gave Sirius a disbelieving look. He simply smiled. He moved from the door frame and took a seat at the foot of her bed. Ella finished with her hair and looked over at him.
"So you came up here so I could rescue you from boring conversations about yourself?"
"Pretty much. And I wanted to make sure you'd be coming down to dinner and if you'd help me patronise Nymphie so Remus understands how wrong he's being."
"Trust me, if the lollypop game didn't make your point clear, the game of peek-a-boo and baby talk certainly gave you away." Sirius became defensive.
"Well, how else do you expect me to get my point across?" Ella laughed.
"Ever heard of 'less is more'?"
"Yes but that is a contradictory saying. If you eat less it doesn't mean you're more full does it? It only means there's more food on your plate which I'm sure is not what the saying is getting at." Ella looked uncertain at Sirius' explanation.
"I really don't have a clue what you're trying to say and I think you've missed my point but all this talk about food is making me hungry." Sirius nodded.
"Dinner should be nearly ready. You right to go down?"
"Sure. Lead the way."
As they made their way down the stairs, the smell of a hearty roast was wafting their way. Having eaten Molly's food for nearly a week, Sirius and Ella expected nothing but the finest dining. As they entered the dining room they noticed that the group had become smaller. Arthur answered their questioning looks.
"Oh there you two are. Alastor and Kingsley apologise but they had to go away to-" He paused as Remus gave him a look. "-well they had to leave on business. Hope you understand."
"Yeah, sure." Ella answered. Sirius was too busy eyeing the food and making sure to get the seat next to his cousin. Ella noticed this and shook her head.
The dining room was filled with the hum of conversation while everyone dished up their meal. As dinner continued, Ella closed her eyes and felt as though she was back in the great hall at Hogwarts. There was even trifle for dessert. She was brought out of her reverie as she heard Molly address her and Sirius in an excited manner.
"If you'd like, I can ask the kids if they would like to stay here over the Christmas break. I'm sure they would love to meet you both, well meet you Ella and see you again Sirius. We could all spend Christmas day here and make the most of it!"
"Just out of curiosity, how old are the kids?" Sirius asked. He was slightly worried he would have to play babysitter for a week or two. He liked children but if he was going to be used as a day care centre, he'd rather avoid it or be told in advance.
"They'd all be around your age. Well, my Ron is in his sixth year, and I'm sure his friends Harry and Hermione would like to stay too. Ginny's a year younger and we've got five who have left school already."
"Harry did you say? Wasn't that the one I gave the knife to Remus?"
Remus had mentioned Harry in passing the day Sirius had arrived. Never before had Remus hated the fact that Sirius had the memory of an elephant, in fact it often came in handy, particularly in making the marauder's map and remembering the elaborate stories they had come up with to get out of detention. This was the first time Remus wished his friend could forget something. He was sure this conversation would lead to no good.
"Yes, he was the one you gave your knife to." Sirius was curious. His all purpose knife was something he would only pass down to someone he was close to. To someone who was family. He had a sudden thought.
"Please tell me you haven't been keeping secret the fact that I have kids?"
"No Sirius. Harry is not your son."
"Phew, that's okay then. So do I have kids at all?" Sirius asked. He decided to take advantage of his friend finally giving him some information. Remus was like a human crystal ball, minus the crystal, and the crazy fog.
"No. You never got around to having children." Remus felt he was skating on thin ice. He didn't know how much more he could keep from Sirius. How could you tell someone that the reason they didn't have children was because they spent their early years in Azkaban for a crime they didn't commit?
"Oh." Sirius replied. Ella never pictured Sirius as the type to settle down and have a family but she couldn't help but notice he looked a little disheartened by this information.
"Well if he's not my son, then is he yours?" Sirius asked Remus.
"No. He's not my son."
"Then if he's not my son, or your son then that would leave-" Sirius cut himself short and, with a huge grin on his face, turned to Ella. She had covered her hand over her mouth in shock. They were thinking the same thing.
"James didn't marry Lily did he?" Ella asked. She and Sirius were getting rather excited by this point.
"I don't know if that's a wise thing to tell you."
"Oh come on Moony! They got together didn't they? And Harry's their son and I'm like uncle Sirius or something aren't I! Ella can you believe this? After all these years James actually gets the girl." He looked at the wall rather wistfully, not noticing how the atmosphere in the dining room had changed. Ella however, did notice, and was filled with a sudden sense of dread. Something wasn't quite right. She turned toward Remus and saw the ever present sadness in his eyes. She put her fork down. Death tended to make her lose her appetite.
"That reminds me Moony, I was going to ask you to make James get his arse over here. If Christmas is going to be here then why don't he and Lily come too? A couple of extra people wouldn't be a hassle right?"
Sirius' head was suddenly filled with ideas of the perfect Christmas. Well, as perfect a Christmas can be when you've been transported to the future. He was just thinking of how everyone would sit around the table, telling him stories about their time after Hogwarts when Ella's voice interrupted his daydream.
"Sirius, I don't think James will be able to make it for Christmas." Her voice was calm and even but her eyes betrayed her efforts at keeping all emotion locked up.
"What could possibly keep James away from any type of celebration? I mean, the guy practically lives to socialise and-"
As had happened so many times since arriving, Sirius was hit with sudden realisation. He was getting tired of finding things out for himself. He wished there was some kind of 'bad news' warning so that he could prepare himself for the worst.
"Remus, is Ella right. Is James dead?" No-one was expecting Sirius to simply come out and say it. Although it pained him to, Remus replied.
"I'm afraid so." Sirius' face was impassive.
"And Lily?" Remus simply nodded. The dining room was void of noise.
Having witnessed Sirius' reaction to finding out about his own death, Ella was bracing herself for the angry outburst. It never came. Sirius sat in a stunned silence for at least five minutes until he suddenly cleared his throat and stood from his seat. His hands were shaking severely and he had the same pale complexion and look of fear that had graced him when he realised they were in Grimmauld Place. He walked out of the room slowly, as if he had to concentrate on each and every step for fear of falling over. Ella wasn't sure if it was this sight which broke her heart or if the information had finally caught up with her, but she also had to leave.
"Thank you for dinner Molly, it was lovely. I'm going to go up to my room now if you'll excuse me. Goodnight everyone." Ella announced.
While Ella had been taught good manners, it was not something that defined her. Her overuse of etiquette was usually her reaction to uncomfortable or stressful situations. She was sure this situation fell under both categories.
It had been several hours since Ella returned to her bedroom. She had fallen asleep at one point but was woken by a flash of light in her eyes followed by a deafening crack of thunder. Ella hated thunderstorms. She realised she hated them even more in this house as she made her way past the decapitated elf heads. Lightning lit up the entrance and gave the elf faces a creepy, alive quality. She figured their guests would have left by now as it would have been well past midnight. She needed company and the only other person in the house was Sirius. She cautiously made her way into the lounge room and, sure enough, she saw a slumped silhouette on the sofa, backlit by the fire. She quietly padded over to one of the empty armchairs and made herself comfortable. Sirius sat with his elbows on his knees and hands covering his eyes. He had heard Ella come in but hadn't acknowledged her presence just yet. Eventually, he spoke.
"I want to go back." His voice was low and muffled. Ella jumped as thunder cracked overhead.
"I don't want to be in a world where I don't exist. I have no family and my best friend is gone and Remus has changed and no doubt Peter is not even around anymore. If this is what we have to look forward to, then I don't want to know?"
When we feel great emotion, good or bad, the first sign is apparent in the voice. Ella could tell that Sirius was barely keeping it together. His hands had not left his eyes either. She would have said something, maybe an 'I'm sorry', but she remembered what Sirius had said about not getting why people said such words when they had done nothing. Instead, she stayed silent until words finally found her.
"Twenty seven." She said. Sirius removed his hands from his eyes and looked at her. He looked a mess.
"What about it?" He asked.
"That's how many pieces of parchment are on the floor in here."
Sirius looked at the floor and counted. There were indeed twenty seven pieces of parchment.
A/N: I know it has gone morbid again, but it's important for these two to react properly to the situation so they can move on (don't worry, the humour comes back in a chapter or so...well that's what i'm planning anyway)...if nothing else, you can all revel in the fact that you now have a sad, mopy Sirius to comfort any way you like...As for the Sirius/Ella update, don't worry, it will happen, it's just that they still don't really know each other at all (Ella is a bit more tuned in to Sirius than he is to her...remember his 'sarcasm doesn't suit you' line???)
Okay, i ramble on too much at the end here. THANK YOU AGAIN TO MY REVIEWERS!!! I love your feedback and as always I really want to know what you all think. Stay tuned!!!
