A/N: Well, I'm a bit bored. Anyway, I think much of this chapter can be explained by the title and the context, but in case you missed something, here's some background. Ferb is now a vampire. If you don't understand that read the last chapter (you know, the one that said "blood" over and over again?). He has now awakened to Phineas, who is a human (a.k.a. he contains blood...) and is rampaging after him. This typically would result in the immediate death of Phineas, but since this is only a story we'll let it slide. This is where this chapter comes in...

Phineas was just a touch confused, if only for a moment. His immediate reaction was to run, but since he was always quite the multi-tasker, he managed to piece together most of Ferb's side of the story too. It all made twisted sense: the constant mumblings of "blood...pain...blood..." under Ferb's breath, the bat (or vampire bat, he supposed," the fact that he could now run as fast as a... something that runs fast... and- wait, how was Ferb still behind him? He risked a glance behind his back to see that Ferb was nowhere. Suddenly he heard a voice. Ferb's voice.

"You thought you had me beat there for a moment, didn't you?" Ferb's voice was exactly as Phineas remembered it, but just a tad inhuman, almost sinister.

"Maybe..." came Phineas' ever-so-intelligent response.

"Well, you were wrong, now weren't you? And now you must face the consequences."

Phineas backed toward a brick wall, which in retrospect was an awful decision seeing as he was in an alleyway. Ferb lurched towards him in search of simple and immediate blood, until he heard the somewhat pleasant voice of a girl behind him, "Ferrbbb..." she sounded almost like a purring cat. Ferb turned to see a girl of about thirteen with curly, fiery shoulder-length red hair and ocean blue eyes. She was not ugly, but she wasn't exactly pretty either. Ferb instantaneously changed victims, until both girl and vampire disappeared.

Phineas then awoke in his bed of all places. Had it really been a dream? That was impossible! Or was it? Phineas looked over at Ferb's bed. No Ferb. Huh. He might've already gotten up...? Phineas got out of bed, dressed, and went downstairs. Right when he came down he noticed his mom, who was off to some place to do something (he didn't know what, but she did something every day, why would today be any different?), but no Ferb. Perhaps he was in the bathroom or something...

After his mom had left, he searched the house (since it was Saturday, he didn't have to worry about missing the bus). No Ferb. He was starting to panic when he noticed something else: Perry was gone. "Wait, Perry's gone every day, why does that matter?" In fact it didn't. He called Ferb's cell phone. It was turned off.

In the mean time, Ferb awoke (completely in control of himself, he noted) in a room that looked somewhat like that of a teen-aged girl. A rather sloppy teen-aged girl, that is. The walls were an oddly pale purple and the stacks of books, papers, and pencils on the white desk and dresser were at least a foot and a half high. He sat up to see a vaguely familiar girl with red hair frantically typing on a laptop. She immediately looked up at him and said (without her lips moving at all) "You're awake."

"Yes," he answered, and made sure to add some helpful questions, "Who are you? Where am I? And why are you typing so fast?"

"The first I can't quite answer for fear of stalkers finding out where I live. You may refer to me as 'The Author' though. The second is simple. You are in my room. And for the last one, I am trying to type everything that is happening in the most accurate way possible."

"Whaaat...?" Ferb trailed off. He was, in a single word, confused. Author? Typing what happened? Whaaat?

"To explain this I would have to break the fourth wall in ways never perceived by man or vampire before. Um, let's see... You're in a story. A story that is to be posted on a website. I have complete and utter control over you and everyone else in this story, and before you ask, yes, that includes Phineas," The Author explained hastily.

"Wait," Ferb replied, "that means you did this!" he aimed a finger at his neck where the two holes from his bite were, "What kind of horrible author are you?"

Suddenly the Author, despite being about eight inches shorter than Ferb, managed to back him up against the wall. Then, suddenly, Ferb saw stars. After he had blinked himself into typical eyesight again, he gently touched his cheek and noticed a bruise.

"That's impossible," he said, since obviously, it was.

"Yes, you have forced me to make a plot hole, and now, I have to deal with a bunch of crazy reviewers complaining about it."


A/N: Oooo! OC! OC! Yeah, that's my OC. Anyway, I think I may have mislabeled the genre on here. This is actually the first of a trilogy, for your information. This one is more fantasy than romance. The second is where the real romance comes in. Then the third leans toward Sci-Fi. So yeah. Bye!