"Lets go home."
Yugi moved to stand up from his sitting position on the floor, back to back with someone he didn't even want to be within arm's reach of.
He was embarrassed he'd cried in front of him.
A lot of tears had been flowing lately, he supposed.
"Yugi, wait... "
A voice from behind him as he was moving to leave the room.
The talk with the man hadn't been as uncomfortable as he'd imagined. He wasn't sure why. Perhaps it wasn't the thief, as they'd known him, after all. Maybe he'd changed.
Of course, he still can't have been who he said he was, and he still had to be careful. The man who this looked like was still an excellent actor, and villain.
"One last thing, Aibou...remember...?"
Oh yeah. He'd agreed to hug him. Wouldn't that be awkward?
Why did he want that anyways?
Whatever. He'd humor him.
He nodded, and the man slowly, carefully put his arms around him. There was a lot of emotion in the way he was so gentle but caring when he pulled him close.
Almost enough to make it less awkward, when Yugi moved to return the gesture.
He felt the man tense, as Yugi's arms barely reached high enough to wrap around the back of his ribcage, loosely, but there.
He felt a gasp from the taller man, and he was left not understanding why.
Tears? Weren't there already too many tears over the last day?
Yugi could tell he wasn't ready to let go, but as scared as he was, he stayed still, and let the man hold him.
In fact, he spoke quietly, the two of them still standing in the quiet room, holding on to each other.
"Why are you crying...?"
He let out a gasping sob, at those words. He had to steady his breath again before speaking.
"...I'm going to miss you, mou hitori no ore..."
A name he hadn't heard in a long, long time. His other half almost never used it. Was this the thief trying to get to him?
"It's...not like we'll be far apart..."
Yugi, after all this, was still Yugi. And he still felt the need to comfort people who cried. Regardless of what they'd done to him in the past.
"I know you want to go separate ways after this. I respect that choice. I'll just..." Another gasping sob. He trusted Yugi enough to show this intense display of emotion in front of him? "...We're saying goodbye again, for real this time, and you don't even recognize me for who I really am..."
To Yugi's shock, he continued talking, seemingly to himself, if it weren't for the way he addressed Yugi in his mumbles. He didn't let go, he just kept talking in a low voice.
"It's so hard to look at your face and see fear...it's so hard to see you cry and be unable to comfort you...it's hard to stand here and know that I can't feel any of your emotions...it's so hard, Aibou..."
"I-I'm sorry...?"
There was a hint of a questioning tone at the end of his apology and he knew it didn't make sense. It wasn't a question, but it wasn't a real apology either.
His hand moved to brush through Yugi's hair, and the smaller boy stiffened again.
"I just wish you could see me...I wish you could see that I'm me...I wish you would let me comfort you as I know you would have if I'd come back looking like I was supposed to...I wish the sound of my voice didn't cause you to look at me like you're afraid...I'm trying, Aibou, I swear I'm trying so hard..."
Yugi stood in stunned silence, trying to take in the words, but still not accepting them as truth. Meanwhile, the man didn't seem ready to let go, or to stop talking.
"It's strange being so tall, you know."
At this point, it was meaningless chatter, wasn't it. Yugi didn't want to struggle. He didn't want to panic. But he was, in fact, as trapped as he could possibly be in that moment.
"I can't let go because I know that once I do, I'll never have this again."
It seemed, even the man holding onto him, was human. Or putting on a show. Yugi wasn't sure which one was the truth.
"I don't know if I can bear to see you look at me that way again, Aibou...I've tried being gentle with you, I've tried getting through to you with words, and nothing works and I'm just so-..."
"Atem."
A woman's voice. Stern.
When had Ishizu come back?
His head whipped around to look at her, at the sound of his real, and not often used, name.
"Let him go."
His shoulders fell in disappointment, as he finally, slowly, let his arms fall to his sides, and Yugi took two fearful steps back.
He couldn't take it anymore.
"Stop looking at me like you're scared of me!"
Yugi's eyes went wide with new fear, as he took another three steps back, almost tripping over his own shoes on the way.
It struck the lonely once-spirit exactly what, or rather who, he sounded like.
"Yugi, Aibou, I'm sorry- I didn't mean-...please, I..."
"N-No...Don't talk to me...I'm going home..."
And with that, Yugi left the room. Yami tried to follow him, that was, until Ishizu's hand caught his wrist.
"Give him time, Pharaoh. He'll come around eventually."
But he wasn't so sure. He'd only managed to scare him further. Would Yugi ever recognize him? Or would they be forever stuck in this state of denial on Yugi's part and wishful thinking on Yami's?
It was a blur from the museum room they were in, to a car, to a plane, none of them speaking, none looking at each other except for brief glances.
Yugi was staring blankly again, as though the world no longer meant anything to him. There was no childish curiosity in his eyes, no wonder, no longing to learn and discover and live. Just blank, horrible, staring. His eyes passing over everything he looked at as they moved, but never taking it in.
They wouldn't let him sit by Yugi in the plane. A matter of "security" they said.
"I am not the thief!" But his yelling didn't help him prove his point.
Yugi turned to him as he was yelling, shocked at the sound, and then, a look he thought he'd never see from his other half. A glare. Yugi Mutou was glaring at him. He wondered if this is what he looked like when he was possessing him. He wondered if his own glare from Yugi's eyes felt this sharp.
He made himself turn away, not able to manage anything back to his partner but a look of shock, and then a few seconds of a hurt expression.
He didn't dare return Yugi's hateful gaze. No, he couldn't bring himself to. He still cared about him, after all.
Yugi seemed eager to get back home, once they landed.
He seemed in a hurry. The occasional glance back at Yami told him that he was in a hurry to get away from him. It hurt.
Without Ishizu at least, to keep him grounded, he wasn't sure how this was going to work. Ishizu understood what was happening. Yugi didn't.
He stood in the doorway of the placed he'd called "home" for years, although only through Yugi, and sighed. He'd wanted to see it again, yes. But he wasn't sure this was exactly what he had in mind. In fact, he was certain it wasn't. To be here again, to feel at home again, would be wonderful, but with Yugi angry with him, it dulled all the joy he would have gotten from it, and ended up feeling like a dagger in his heart, instead.
Yugi's grandpa didn't notice he was even standing there, until he was done reuniting happily with his grandson.
"Yugi, who's this...?"
Yugi sighed heavily, and opened his mouth to explain.
"Aibou, let me..."
Grandpa's eyes widened a little at the use of the word. Partner.
"You're the spirit of the puzzle, then?"
Yugi's doubtful eyes caught the ancient man's, and Yami simply pointed to the staircase.
Yugi didn't argue this time.
"Yes. Although, because of my appearance, Yugi refuses to recognize me as such. I...I'm surprised you recognized me... how did you know...?"
"Don't think I'm clueless just because I'm old!" The elderly man laughed, and for the first time since he'd been back, Yami smiled. It was small, but it was there. It was good to see grandpa again. He'd missed him. "I know there's no one else who'd refer to Yugi that way. You're obviously Egyptian. Two and two, you know."
"I always knew you knew more than you let on." he said, smirking. He'd known grandpa hadn't gotten any less smart, over the years. He suspected a lot, when he was just a spirit, that the man knew of his presence.
"So, tell me, Pharaoh, why do you appear different?"
He gave grandpa the entire story. The man nodded occasionally, but mostly listened. He seemed to understand.
"So, Yugi is convinced that you're this tomb robber who's appearance you borrow?"
He nodded slowly, sadly.
"Hm." Grandpa seemed confused, if not concerned. "That's not really like him, you know...he's so good at seeing through people to what they really are, and especially with someone like you, who was as close to him as you were..."
He nodded again in response, thinking his answer over. He had immense respect for this man, and he was beyond happy to be recognized, finally.
"He denies it at every opportunity... He won't let me close to him, in physical proximity, or emotionally...it's...distressing."
Grandpa smiled, and for a second, he thought he saw a smirk on those old lips.
"You missed him."
"Immensely."
Grandpa smiled softly, almost sadly, and nodded at the staircase.
"Go see him. He'll understand, in time. I'm sure there's reason for this."
He was shocked, absolutely shocked, that the old man accepted him so quickly.
In fact, before he'd tried to quietly climb the staircase, when he'd mentioned that he had nowhere to stay, the man looked shocked. "Well, you're sitting here aren't you?"
To which he returned a shocked expression.
"You remember where the guest room is, right? You're always welcome here."
And he made him feel welcome, for the first time since he'd been back.
He wasn't used to his hair being this long, he noted as he climbed the squeaky staircase. Yugi would know it was him, because he was taller, and it sounded different than when grandpa climbed it.
Yes, he was really noticing how off things were since the last time he was here. Of course, last time he was here, it was in Yugi's body.
That was a strange thought. He'd inhabited the same body that the boy sitting on his bed staring off into space currently also inhabited. That seemed strange for some reason.
That was the first thing he noticed, when he pushed the door open gently. Yugi was staring again. Looking at nothing. He didn't cry, no, he was beyond tears now.
"Hey there..." He tried quietly. Softly. He couldn't let his voice scare him again.
"Can I help you?"
Yugi's formal tone struck him straight in the chest, like an arrow.
"I just wanted to say hello...I spoke to your grandfather...he knows about the situation, and about me borrowing the guest room for a while until this is over."
Yugi's facial expression didn't really change. It stayed flat.
"Oh? Good."
It was like Yugi had become a new person while he was gone. Although, he took comfort in the fact that grandpa seemed to see this behavior as strange.
"I guess...I'll go now..."
Yugi didn't even turn to look at him.
"Kay. Bye."
"Ai-...I...Goodbye..."
He was absolutely determined not to shed tears again. He didn't like goodbyes. He didn't pass by the table where grandpa was still sitting sipping coffee again. He went directly to the guest room, and laid on the bed to think. He was finally back. In this house again. Memories were hitting him and as much as he loved remembering everything with so much ease, it hurt to remember certain things so vividly right now.
The first night crossed his mind, but only briefly. Yes, he remembered his first night awake. He didn't know then, that he was a separate entity from Yugi. But the memories that seemed to be throwing themselves at him now, were from later.
From when they knew they were separate, and they could speak, and spend time together.
Yugi's smiling face. Yugi laughing with him, sharing emotion with him. Yugi lifting his mental barriers after an argument and sharing his heart with him again.
Unfortunately for him, the guest room was next to Yugi's room. It wasn't a huge room, but big enough for a bed, which was all he really needed.
Sadder memories hit him, and he didn't know which was worse. Remembering Yugi as happy when all he could get now was this glaring fearful stranger, or remembering him as sad, upset, hurt, and knowing that he was still unable to comfort him.
There were times that they argued. Those times hurt the most. The times when Yugi would cut him off completely from his emotions, his heart, and leave him floating aimlessly in his own void.
It hurt to think that that's essentially what Yugi was doing now. Cutting him off.
It had been a long day.
Too long.
Evident by the fact that he no longer had the energy to stop the tears from slipping down his face, anymore.
Eventually, although in an unfamiliar bed, in an unfamiliar body the spirit managed to sleep for the first time in a very long time.
He drifted off, although not as peacefully as he would have liked.
And even when they were fighting, knowing that Yugi's presence was on the other side of the wall somehow made something better. It lifted his heart a little.
Maybe there was hope after all, he thought as he drifted off, not willingly surrendering to sleep, but not exactly putting up a fight either.
On the other side of the wall, Yugi wouldn't deny he heard the man's tears.
Part of him felt bad.
So so many tears in one day...such a long day.
And that's when he remembered why he originally left home anyway.
He was supposed to get Yami back.
Without realizing it, he'd already mentally called out to the spirit.
-mou hitori no boku, today was so-...-
He stopped in the middle, cutting his own thought-voice off.
After all that, he couldn't possibly cry too. But the sound of tears from the other side of the wall didn't help.
Fine, he thought. Why not talk to his Yami anyways, even if he wasn't there.
-I miss you. I thought I'd have you back by now. I thought you were coming home with me.-
He stifled his own tears now, burying his face in his blanket.
-I don't know who's on the other side of that wall, but he keeps saying he's you, Yami, and I'm scared, because he can't be...-
Yugi sobbed now, releasing all the tension the long day caused.
-You don't want me anymore do you...they said it wasn't you, when I ran to you at first, but it really looked like you...-
Yugi's eyelids started dropping, exhausted from the day, and then the crying.
He kept trying to send half put together thoughts across the void where his other half used to be.
-Yami I don't understand...I just...he hugged me and he cried and it seemed like you but he scares me so badly, Yami, don't you remember what he did...?-
Drifting in and out, all he wanted was a reply. Even knowing he wouldn't get one, he didn't stop.
-I'm so sleepy, Yami...-
He tried to imagine his darker half encouraging him to sleep, promising he'd be there in the morning, but it only made him cry harder.
-I miss you so badly...it was so quiet without you...my head is still so quiet I'm going insane...-
-Do you miss me too...?-
-Where are you...?-
Yugi was really drifting off now, his crying quieting down, as he finally let his body relax, at least, so he could get some rest.
-Where are you...?-
