"Your boobs are mine!"
Kristian barely had time to shout before he was enveloped into a hug. He turned around, about to tell the guy to shove off, until he saw Yong Soo beaming and giving him a peace sign. "Just kidding! Hi, Kristian!"
"Hey, Yong Soo." Kristian stood there, waiting expectantly for Yong Soo to let go. He didn't. They, instead, stood in an awkward pose (at least in Kristian's eyes- obviously Yong Soo didn't give a damn), with some Korean pop song blasting out from Yong Soo's headphones.
"Yong Soo, can you let go?" Kristian finally said. Yong Soo grinned.
"Sure!" Yong Soo dropped his hand, and looked around. "Are you walking home? Where's Kaoru?"
"Kaoru's in the art room." Kristian said. He and Kaoru had the same art block, and they were throwing water at each other during class, resulting in them getting kicked out from the room. Kristian finished his ceramic bowl a while ago (although it looked more like a plate, to be honest) so he didn't have to stay after school to finish. He felt no remorse for his actions.
"Well, whatever! Do you think I should wait for Kaoru?" Yong Soo asked, his eyes wide.
"I dunno, what do you think?" Kristian said.
Yong Soo contemplated the question for a bit. "Well, since he promised to get bubble tea with me after school, I suppose I should stay." Yong Soo said, sighing while brushing his bangs back.
"So why are you hanging around me instead of, I don't know, Mei?" Kristian asked. Mei was the cute Taiwanese girl who Yong Soo had a small ("almost nonexistent", Yong Soo would say while blushing profusely) crush on. Yong Soo stuck his tongue out.
"I don't wanna, that's all." Yong Soo's smile widened. "And I've heard from a certain little bird that you have a sugar daddy."
"BIRD?" Kristian said, raising an eyebrow. "Matthew? Or is it Gilbert's pet bird, Gilbird?"
"That's classified." Yong Soo placed his finger against his lips. "So who is it?"
"First of all, he's not a sugar daddy. Second of all, I'm not gay." He said flatly. He was most likely straight.
"Well, that can be changed-"
"Shut up, Yong Soo, or else I'm not returning that signed CD of Big Bang you lent me." Yong Soo paled considerably.
"Anything but that!" Yong Soo flailed, waving his arms around like a madman. "Alright, fine. Who are you hanging with?"
"My neighbor." Kristian said, not wanting to elaborate. Yong Soo nodded.
"Well. I have to see him some time! Since I am your best friend." Yong Soo looked in the air for a second, and then nodded. "Yup. I'm your best friend, right?" Yong Soo suddenly said, worried.
"I suppose so." Kristian said, not bothering to correct him that they only had two classes together.
"While we're at it, when are you going to give back my GD poster?" Yong Soo complained. "And my SNSD calendar?"
"Soon, Yong Soo, soon." Kristian lied, as he had planned on keeping all of the merchandise. Yong Soo giggled.
"Nice! Next time, call me 'hyung'!" Yong Soo said, pouting a bit. "I'm a few months older than you, you know!"
"In your dreams." Kristian said, sticking his tongue out.
"Maybe!" Yong Soo replied cheerfully. Kristian blinked.
"...what?"
"Nothin'."
"Asians are dominating the world."
Nikolai raised an eyebrow at Arthur, who was currently up at the front of the classroom with stacks of papers placed neatly on top of the podium. "China itself has a population of over 1,000,000,000 people. They are immigrating to Canada and America at an increasing pace. Take, for example, the number of Asians in our classroom. Over half of our class is Asians. Their reproduction rate is quite fast as well, and-"
Nikolai doodled on his eraser, ignoring the factually incorrect and (hopefully) satirical speech Arthur was reciting passionately at the front of the classroom. He wrote 'YES', 'NO', 'MAYBE' and '50%', remembering nostalgically the times he had drawn on his eraser as a child. The reason why he was sitting there, listening to Arthur's ridiculous speech about too many Asians for a class he wasn't taking was because Arthur had stormed in on him punching Matthias and grabbed him by the arm.
"Nikolai. Help." Arthur said, tugging his arm frantically.
"Dude, I gotta pick up Kristian." Nikolai pointed at his watch.
"It's only 2:30." Arthur said. "And I have this speech I have to say but no one I know is in my class. Could you wait for me?"
"Can't you get someone..." Nikolai trailed off after seeing the pleading look in Arthur's eyes. "Alright, you douche. You owe me cake."
"Alright, thank you." Arthur smiled widely, which was a rare sight. It had seemed almost worth it.
Until, of course, right now, where Nikolai was degraded to having to entertain himself by asking his eraser questions.
"Is the red string of fate real?" Nikolai murmured. The eraser turned to 'MAYBE'. "Does gum stain your teeth?" MAYBE. "Does Old Spice work?" MAYBE. "Will winter be hot?" MAYBE.
"Make up your goddamn mind." Nikolai flicked his eraser off of his desk. It bounced off a chair and hit a guy in the balls, causing the poor stranger to make a small gasp. Nikolai quickly turned forward, pretending to be interested in Arthur's speech. Arthur frowned at the interruption and stared pointedly at the boy who was cupping his crotch in pain.
"Is something wrong, Joshua?" Joshua shook his head no, and glared at the eraser. Nikolai stared out the window.
This was taking longer than he expected.
This was taking longer than he expected.
Kristian looked at his watch. It was 3:30. Yong Soo said that he was going to go find Kaoru, and Matthew had already left, speeding off in his brother's Volkswagen. Gilbert had declared he was too awesome to wait for him, and Michelle had club activities. Kristian was quite certain that her photography club really consisted of girls squealing over the newest pictures of guys they had taken.
Then again, Nikolai had said that he would come if he felt like it. So obviously he didn't feel like it.
Ah, shit. He felt stupid.
He crouched down, and watched a row of ants carrying cheese puffs to their headquarters. They kept on marching forward with a steady pace. Kristian placed a rock in front of them, and they just calmly walked on top of it, not pausing or hesitating at all. He plucked a cheese puff off from an ant. The ant didn't stop either. He placed it back on top of the ant.
This was boring.
But then again, what would he do back home?
Actually, home was too strong of a word. When he went back to his apartment. Yes. There was nothing to do back there. (He didn't count homework as one- he hated doing it anyway. He would procrastinate until the last second and work for two hours straight so that he would manage to get a C+.) And was he running low on groceries? What did he eat for breakfast? He racked his brain, but all he got was a growl from his stomach.
"Stupid stomach." He muttered, poking it. "You're not hungry. You're just whining. Like a little kid." He winced as another growl emitted.
"You hungry?" Kristian looked up, and felt a scarf brush onto his face. He blinked a couple of times. A white container was placed onto his forehead. "I have cake."
Kristian smiled widely.
"There's choux à la créme, chestnut Mont Blanc, chocolate waffles and you're not even listening." Nikolai raised an eyebrow as he saw Kristian stuffing his face with a Cookies N' Cream cupcake.
"Well, I'm hungry." Kristian said. "In my defense, it was your fault. You're late."
"I told you I'd pick you up if I felt like it!" Nikolai said, exasperated. Kristian, instead of responding, picked up a strawberry tart and took a bite. The crumbs scattered down onto his pants.
"So why were you late?" Kristian mumbled.
"My friend, Arthur- you know, that guy who walked in on us, the one with the bushy eyebrows and the unfortunately sexy British accent-"
"SEXY?"
"I didn't say that, anyway-"
"Yes you did-"
"Shut up, let me continue. Anyway, he was saying some sort of speech to the class. He promised me cake, so yes. Here I am now." Nikolai spread his arms out, as if to emphasize his point.
"Well. You owe me my time, my hunger and my loneliness." Nikolai's lips quirked up into a smile.
"You were lonely?" Nikolai said, poking Kristian's cheek softly.
"No." Kristian shook his head hurriedly, embarrassed that his true feelings slipped out.
"But you just said-"
"You should get your ears checked." Kristian pretended to chuck a chocolate truffle at Nikolai but plopped the dessert into his mouth instead.
"Well, I guess I'll make it up to you then." Nikolai said, getting up.
"What? Where are we going?" Nikolai smiled slightly.
"Skating rink."
"You didn't tell me you used to do hockey! You cheater!" Kristian panted, gasping for breath as he watched enviously at Nikolai who skated backwards and executed perfect spins. "And yet you dare make me play tag?"
"You didn't ask. Fair's fair." Nikolai said, sing songing a bit.
"It's not fair, you jerk." Kristian skated towards Nikolai and skidded to a stop.
"You're pretty good. Did you take lessons?" Nikolai asked, clutching Kristian's arm as further support. Kristian yanked his arm out of his grip in a panic, feeling his heart pound at the slight contact. They briefly locked eyes before Kristian looked away, and he replied with a shaky voice.
"When I was little, we had a lake in the backyard. In winter we would spray water on it so it would freeze over." Kristian leaned onto the rails, cursing himself for making things awkward due to his dislike of physical contact.
"This is probably nosy of me, but why do you live alone?" Nikolai asked, smoothly ignoring the tension between the two of them. "You're younger than me."
"Responsibility." Kristian said tonelessly. "Independence. All that shit."
"Hmm..." Nikolai realized that he had probably touched on a subject that was rather raw. So he decided to do a quick breakthrough. He leaned over and grabbed his hands.
"What...?" Before Kristian could say anything, Nikolai skated forward with a breakneck speed. Kristian attempted to match his pace, but ended up giving a manly shriek and held on to Nikolai's hands with all of his might. While Nikolai was smiling slightly and looking as though he was having the time of his life, Kristian's eyes were wide open and his muscles tense. All of a sudden, Nikolai did a quick 180 and stopped, making Kristian fall down onto his knees with his hands behind his head, his face staring at an awkward spot (re: Nikolai's crotch).
"Sorry, I should've gave you a warning." Nikolai said. Kristian shook his head mutely, not sure whether to freak out over the position or his hands that were currently nestled within Nikolai's.
"Well. Can you let go of me now? I feel like a porn star with this position." Nikolai let him go, and he stood up on wobbly legs.
"Couple over there! Get a room!" A guy hollered, skating past them.
"Shut up! You can't even bang a girl!" Nikolai yelled, shaking his fist at the stranger.
"Way to be subtle, Nikolai." Kristian said, patting his pants down.
"Oh, shut it." Nikolai pushed Kristian down. Kristian fell down in surprise, and was met with a snicker from Nikolai. He flushed slightly.
"Don't you dare!" He elbowed Nikolai behind his knees, making him gasp and fall down. Kristian bit back a laugh.
"Fuck you, man. What happened to 'respect your elders'?" Nikolai complained, sitting down next to Kristian.
"In this case, you're more like the younger one here." Kristian teased. Nikolai poked him on the sides, and Kristian jerked away rather uncomfortably.
"Anyway, we should get going. You have shit to do, right?" Nikolai asked.
"Homework?" Kristian said. "Can we do it at your place?" A long silence ensued before Kristian realized what he had said. "Oh, shit, that sounded sexual. Can I do my homework at your place?"
"Well. My mom would probably be thrilled, so I don't really mind." Nikolai said. "Race you to the edge!" Kristian blinked twice, and Nikolai was already speeding away.
"Hey! You bitch!" Kristian said. He smiled to himself before shaking his head and skating towards the other.
"Are you absolutely certain that you lost the key."
Nikolai could feel Kristian's disappointed/suspicious stare boring down his back.
"Well. I probably didn't. It's probably in my pocket." Nikolai dug deep down in his jeans pocket. When all he got was a needle, he reached for the other one.
"I'm quite certain you did, Nikolai." Kristian said.
"No, I did not." Nikolai argued.
"We've been standing outside your apartment for the past 10 minutes." Kristian said.
"Your point is?" Nikolai said stiffly. Kristian shook his head.
"You're insufferable."
"You sound like Arthur." Nikolai sighed.
"And you sound like a whiny 5 year old." Kristian retorted. Nikolai glared at him. Suddenly, Nikolai's Nokia phone let out a 'ping!', indicating a text message.
Hey, Nikkie! I have your keys, hahah. Total accident, I swear! Meet you in a few at Waffle House? -The Beautiful Matthias
It took all of his willpower not to crush his phone into pieces right then.
"Fuck this." Nikolai slid his phone into his bag. "Okay, shorty, we're going to the Waffle House."
"Shorty?" Kristian echoed. "I'm about the same height as you!"
"A few inches shorter. Anyway, get in the car." Nikolai pushed Kristian. "Faster! One, two, one, two!"
"Are you insane?" Kristian said, trying not to trip over the stairs. "Why the sudden craving for fat and unhealthy food?"
"It's called waffles, you dork. Don't chicks love waffles?" Nikolai said, rummaging through his bag for his car keys.
"Are you implying that I'm a girl?" Kristian rolled his eyes. Suddenly, he saw the numerous number of keychains on his keys. "What's with all of these?" Nikolai looked down and curled his lips up in disgust.
"Matthias and Alfred." Nikolai revved up the engine. "They like to put on key chains to piss me off."
"Can't you take them off?" Kristian eyed the little marijuana leaf key chain.
"I would, but it's bothersome. So I just leave it on." Nikolai said, turning on the radio.
"But there's a black stiletto heel." Kristian pointed at it. Nikolai looked down, and ripped it off.
"See? It's gone now. You happy?" Nikolai turned up the volume, as though to indicate that this conversation was over.
"I don't know why I even put up with you." Kristian sighed and shook his head.
"I don't know why I put up with YOU, you twat." Nikolai ran a red light. A couple of startled cries and yelps from other drivers seemed to be ineffective against Nikolai. He flipped his middle finger and pressed the gas pedal even harder.
"Why do you even have a license?" Kristian said, clenching his seat belt tightly.
"I have connections." Nikolai said simply.
Kristian was quite certain that he did.
"The keys are with Miss Lucy, the waitress. P.S. Can you pay for my bill? Love you!"
Lucy, the waitress, looked all too happy to give Nikolai the bill. Nikolai gave it a once over. 20 waffles. 3 canisters of coffee, drenched in cream and sugar. 32 super-sized burgers. 5 extra-large soda floats. Rare steak.
The total came to $214.60.
"Oh, and here! Your keys." Lucy said cheerfully. Her silver bangles jingled as she handed over his house key, now looking pitiful and useless. "The two gentlemen told me to tell you that they love you."
"Oh, they love me alright." Nikolai said darkly, crumpling up the receipt. Kristian poured himself a cup of leftover coffee, took a sip, and spat it back into the cup.
"There's like 10 packs of sugar in there." He said, his face contorting into an expression of pain. "I like sweet drinks, but this is a little over the top."
"Alfred had always liked things to be extra-sweet." Nikolai rubbed his temples. "Fuck. Here's my credit card." Nikolai growled and gave her his shiny credit card. She swiped it, and then smiled widely.
"Thank you! Hope you'll come back!" Lucy chirped.
"Like hell I'm coming back." Nikolai muttered. "Oh, Kristian, we're going to stop by Matthias's house, if you don't mind."
Before Kristian could even say anything, he was shoved back into the front seat.
"Don't say anything, Nikolai. And don't move." Matthias said as he opened the door, poised with a baseball bat. Arthur was sipping tea in the background while Alfred was facing off Tino in Mariokart. Tino was winning by a landslide. Berwald was also lovingly watching Tino while chopping up fruits.
"You. Asshole." Nikolai stalked in threateningly, his fingers curled up into fists. "You owe me."
"Yeah, I know-"
"With interest."
At this, Matthias raised his eyebrow. "Woah, back the fuck up. With INTEREST?"
"10% every second. Whoops, 3 seconds passed." Nikolai said. "This is what you get."
"Okay, okay!" Matthias threw his hands up. "All I wanted to do was to check out the lil guy next to you!"
"Lil guy?" Kristian echoed, feeling stung. "I'm only a little shorter than Nikolai!" Matthias gave him a thumbs up.
"Yep. He's short, too. I haven't formerly introduced myself, have I? I am Matthias, the lady killer." Matthias slicked his hair back, and then raised his hand, as if for Kristian to shake. Kristian stared at it before looking back at him. "I'm Kristian. Um… I'm from Iceland?" Matthias widened his eyes and gripped his shirt, gasping.
"AN ICELANDER." Matthias said, gaping. "I... this is the first time I've met an Icelander. I thought you were Norwegian. Like Mr. Grumpy Face over there." Matthias stuck his thumb at Nikolai.
"O...kay." Kristian said slowly. Alfred waved him over.
"Kristian, hi! Your name is cool. Is it spelled the same as Christianity? Are you religious?" Alfred said, his eyes shining. Kristian tried to detect any signs of mocking, but the other seemed to be genuinely curious.
"No." Kristian said, walking over. "And my name's spelled with a 'K'." He felt a vague sense of déja vu at the conversation, remembering his first meeting with Nikolai.
"Alright! Hey, will you play Mariokart with me? Tino keeps on cheating." Alfred said, pouting. The blond haired boy glared pointedly at the small Finnish boy lazily turning his wheel left and right. Alfred's car drove off of a mountain, and he cried out in horror as he wound up in 12th place when he revived.
"You just suck really bad, you git." Arthur said, his eyes never leaving his copy of 'A Murder is Announced.'
"Artie! You're so mean!" Alfred cried. "And why are you reading a chick book?"
"It's NOT a chick book!" Arthur said, his cheeks red. "It's a murder mystery by an amazing author- god, you're not even listening. Go play with your cars." Arthur sounded like a mother scolding a child.
"He's an Icelander." Matthias said in wonder.
"And Arthur's British and Alfred's American and you're Danish- we're a fucking racist rainbow." Nikolai deadpanned.
"Oh, Nikkie." Matthias swung his arm over Nikolai's shoulder. Nikolai violently shook it off. "You do not understand the joys of the simple life."
"What does being an Icelander have to do with simple life?" Nikolai echoed. "I always knew you were an idiot, but this is going too far."
"Look, old chap." Matthias said, suddenly speaking with a British accent. "Icelanders are sexy. And hot. I'd bang an Icelander chick any day."
"What the fuck-"
"And meeting one, in fucking freezing CANADA, right here, is amazing. In fact, bang him before he leaves."
Fire could be frozen with the icy glare Nikolai was shooting at Matthias.
"FUCK! HOW COULD YOU HAVE WON?" Alfred suddenly shouted. "Y... YOU CHEATER! YOU HAD FUCKING BABY PEACH!"
"Fair's fair, you hoser." Kristian replied calmly as Tino clapped beside him. "Now cough up the twenty bucks you now owe me."
"I'm pretty sure you have it tucked in your burger wrappers somewhere." Arthur said, looking at the scene with mild amusement, his book forgotten on his lap.
"Very funny." Alfred said, grumbling. He started to rummage through his burger wrappers, and as his fingers hit something, he smiled sheepishly. "Oh, hahah. What'd you know, a twenty dollar bill... in my burger wrappers."
"Keep your money in your purse, Al." Tino said, eyes glinting mockingly.
"For the last time, it's not a purse! It's a wallet! A perfectly manly, black leather wallet!" Alfred protested.
"With pink stitching that writes out 'Freedom Hero'." Tino said. Alfred flushed.
"My grandma thought it would add personality!" Alfred said defensively.
"The fact that your grandma stitched it on is quite a questionable action itself." Arthur said, pouring another cup of tea.
"Okay, seriously, dude, let's move on already. Okay? Like Nikolai bringing back a girlfriend- gasp!" Alfred said, grinning. "I mean, you've had more than a few admirers- remember Charlotte?"
"She was a stalker." Nikolai said, plopping down on the couch.
"That time with Rachel?" Alfred pressed on.
"She groped my abs."
"Maria?"
"She practically shoved her vagina onto me."
"Carol-"
"Okay, I think we get the point now. That only crazy psychos are interested in Nikolai." Matthias said, smiling at the Norwegian with a dangerous glint in his eyes. "Kristian, hopefully you'll break the cycle."
"I'm not interested in that way!" Kristian said defensively, feeling a slight flush crawl up on his face. "A-anyway, you have abs?" Kristian asked Nikolai, sounding suspicious.
"I used to do hockey, you dolt." Nikolai said. "Remember? I stopped after high school."
"Now he does rhy-" Before Alfred could continue on, Nikolai shoved a burger wrapper into his mouth. As Alfred flailed around like a dying fish, Nikolai turned to Kristian. "You heard nothing."
"Um, yeah. Okay." Kristian said.
"Oh, and to answer your question, he has a six pack." Matthias patted Nikolai's stomach. "In fact, if you knock on it, it sounds hollow because he doesn't eat. Look at his skinny arms." At that point, Matthias had decided to pinch Nikolai's arm. Nikolai very casually picked up Arthur's cup of tea and poured it over Matthias's crotch.
"OWWWWWW!" Matthias yelped, leaping up into the air. "HOT HOT HOT HOTTTTT!" He patted at his crotch urgently and ran into the washroom. Everyone snickered at the scene.
"Dude, dude." Alfred said, finally managing to get the burger wrapper out from his mouth. "I HAVE to tell him what sport you do now. You're a freakin' champion at it, 'yo. Nothing embarrassing about it."
"Shut up, or else I'll rip your genitals out and tie it into a bow and cook it in pig fat and give it to the unicorns to eat." Nikolai said. Alfred's mouth turned into a half smile.
"You wouldn't-"
"I will."
That shut Alfred up.
