Sorry guys, this chapter is a monster. I just wanted to get it all out of my system so it could further the story and get Roger physically back into the story as soon as possible. Let me know if you're still interested in reading. I've been busy with writing my next book and I just want to make sure I'm not writing this for only myself. Lol.

6/28/2002

The next week whirled by in a flurry, a harbinger of what was to come and how this summer, the last any of them would spend as children, would pass. It was Friday before Roger made contact again. Doug had kept his promise. He and Cleo went and checked on Stinky and Ms. Klotz the previous Monday. Edwina greeted them warmly. Stinky didn't.

Doug had also kept a close eye on his phone but refrained from 'bothering' Roger. After all, he wasn't waiting around for Doug to contact him or anything. He'd even specifically said he didn't want to be bothered. And besides, Doug had been busy with taking Porkchop to the park, hanging out with Skeeter, and playdates with Cleo.

He'd made sure he was available. The phone was on him at all times. He even checked it several times a day just to be sure he didn't miss a message. And he made a habit to re-read the note at least once a day, so he didn't screw up...

When his phone rang that Friday, they were all in the car on the way to the beach. Skeeter was driving, blaring The Beets. Riding shotgun, it was a wonder Doug even heard his phone go off. He fumbled it out of his pocket as quickly as he could manage despite his seat belt.

'Just landed. Hows stinky?'

Doug felt himself smile, wide and ungainly. His fingers flew over the keys. 'She was good. I'm at the shoreline for the weekend. I'll check on them again when I get back.' He sent the message and didn't expect a reply, which is why the response startled him.

'Use sunscreen this time loser. Was ma ok?'

A laugh bubbled up the back of Doug's throat. Instantly he knew what Roger was referencing. Their entire class had gone to the shoreline for their eleventh grade, end of the year, field trip. Doug had burned to a crisp and earned the wrath of Roger and his gang. Roger remembering something so mundane was funny and sort of... touching.

A cool shiver ran up Doug's spine. Glancing around, he made sure he wasn't being watched. Patti and Connie were waving their arms to the music in the backseat and Skeeter was bobbing his head along. They weren't paying attention to him. His thumbs felt heavy on the small keypad but he managed to type out what came to mind first. Maybe he was stupid to even think it, let alone write it out.

'Aw, thanks. I didn't know you cared. ;) And yeah, she was fine.'

He sent the message before he could stop himself and instantly felt his stomach knot. What had gotten into him? He hadn't joked with Roger so liberally since before...

Doug slumped down in his seat, his face warm. All this time later, nearly two whole years, and he could still remember how Roger's hands had felt on his shoulders and neck. He could recall the warmth of such close contact, the rush of a new experience, and the fear of being caught. He winced. He also remembered the shame that instantly followed. It was their secret and despite the passing of time it hadn't grown any smaller. It still sat like a heavy stone in Doug's chest.

He and Roger had never recovered from it. They didn't pretend to be friends or anything. That was for sure. And he probably shouldn't have been so forward now. Rereading his text, he blushed harder and wished there was a way to undo it.

When several minutes passed and there came no response Doug thought to try some form of damage control. His mind reeled and he nearly dropped his phone when it rang unexpectedly.

'Your a freak. Later loser.'

Cool, sweet relief tingled in his chest. Was that all? Roger wasn't going to call him names ('loser' hardly counted, Roger had called him that from day one) or act all weirded out? Doug heaved a sigh. A slow smile crept across his face. Maybe Roger wasn't holding onto what had happened at Bluffscouts. The future was suddenly looking bright. Maybe they were going to be able to move on after all.

Connie tapped his shoulder then and he just about jumped out of his skin. "Wave your arms, Doug! Dance with us!"

He laughed. Everyone on the highway probably thought they were insane and maybe they were right. Giving in, he raised his arms up and danced along with the girls, only sort of glad Roger couldn't see him now.

7/13/2002

There was something almost comforting in the lazy way summer crept along. All of the kids Doug had grown up with were moving on and going their separate ways- or planning to, come fall- and yet Bluffington refused to change. It's own little time capsule, everything seemed to stand still.

Despite plenty of hang out time and trips to the park, it was almost two full weeks after their return from the shore before the gang made another formal plan. Beebe Bluff's annual pool party was never anything special but it had become a bit of a tradition. Even though he would have really rather passed, Doug found himself going anyway. It was the last one, right? They wouldn't all have summers off together any more so it would be lame for him to not go.

Donning his swimming trunks once more and grabbing his half empty bottle of sunscreen, he decided to check in on Edwina and Stinky on the way through. They were both doing as well as could be expected. She gave Doug a warm smile and encouraged him not to be late to the party. "Enjoy your friends, honey, things'll be different after this summer is over." She started to close the door but stopped half way. "Oh, and Doug? If Roger calls you tell him it wouldn't kill him to call his mother once in a while. Would you?"

"Sure thing, Ms. Klotz." He made his way over to Beebe's house. Still smiling, he pulled out his phone and messaged Roger before he forgot.

'You're missing Beebe's pool party. Lucky you. And call your mom. She misses you.'

He took a moment to examine his phone, checking the charge on it and making sure he hadn't missed any texts. As always, there was nothing more than a blank screen staring back at him. With a sigh, he put it back in his pocket and jogged up the steps to Beebe's front door. He raised a hand to ring the bell but the butler opened the door before he could. Doug thanked him awkwardly and showed himself to the pool in the back yard.

None of his friends were there yet and Beebe barely spared a second to greet him. "Hello, Doug," she drawled. "If you want anything feel free to get it from the refreshment table. Do you know if Skeeter, Patti, and Connie are coming? You're usually the late one." He admitted he didn't know and she trotted off to hang from Chalky's arm while he wowed Guy with one of his football practice stories. Same old same.

"This looks like it's going to be a blast." Doug snorted and considered leaving but decided to get a drink of punch and wait to see if any of the others were going to show up. Half an hour later, just as he was ready to call it quits, his phone went off.

'Yeah im crying over here. Your summer sucks.'

Doug frowned and glanced around at everyone. No one was in the pool yet. The music hadn't drawn anyone to dance. Even the snack table was practically dead. Most people were chatting among themselves in small groups and wore the same fake smile they always brought with them to this party. Roger was right.

He sighed and decided to leave if Skeeter didn't show up pronto. 'Your mom and Stinky are doing well.' He didn't know what else to say and began pacing next to the pool. Seriously. Ten more minutes and he was out of there. He'd just have to explain to Skeeter and the others how boring it was if they showed up after he left. He jumped when the phone rang.

'Geeze did she hire you to bother me or what? I called her last week.'

Doug found himself grinning like a fiend and he wasn't sure why. He swept back to the refreshment table to catch some shade from the awning. 'She might have asked me to tell you. She misses you. You miss any of us yet?'

He bit his bottom lip as he sent the message. It felt like he was skating on thin ice, taunting Roger so openly but some part of him had missed being able to. As they'd grown older, they'd sort of migrated toward friendship territory, never crossed the line but they'd gotten close to it once or twice. Roger was a jerk, but that was his personality, he wasn't a bad guy. Doug could even admit that he'd liked Roger by the time the eleventh grade had rolled around. He could kick himself for their fated Bluffscouts trip. If not for it, they would probably still be able to joke around without having to think about what they were saying or worry how they'd be received.

Again there was a slight pause. Five or ten minutes passed before Roger wrote him back. Doug was already on his way out from the party, not that anyone had noticed him leaving.

'Your weird funnie.'

Doug grinned. 'I know.' He sent it before he could add 'and you miss me'. There was no sense in pushing too far too fast. It would be nice if he could talk to Roger again at some point, just talk with no worries. Glancing back one last time, Doug thought something like a goodbye to Beebe and her pool parties. When he came down off of her front steps he felt older than when he'd arrived but that was okay.

7/23/2002

"Doug! Are you coming or what, man?" Skeeter honked at him and waved from the back of the ticket line. The county fair was in town for a week and they'd decided to go on a Tuesday rather than fight the crowds come the weekend. However, while he'd been driving, Doug had heard his phone ring and he wanted to answer the message before he forgot it.

"Hang on guys. I'll be right there." He opened the text and the corners of his mouth pulled back into a smile, as they were prone to do whenever Roger contacted him.

'They got a hole museum for the beets out here.'

He rolled his eyes but the smile wouldn't go away. It had been nearly a week since his last check-in and Roger hadn't even thought to ask about Stinky?'That's awesome! Your cat is fine, by the way.'

Jogging over to catch up with the others, Patti asked who Doug was writing back and forth with. A blush stole over his face but he forced himself to answer with as much dignity as he could muster. "Oh, uh, just Roger. He wanted to know how Stinky was doing."

Patti nodded and they all fell in line together. Connie was the only one who seemed interested at all in what Roger and the others were getting up to. Doug answered honestly that he didn't know many details but apparently they were at a Beets museum. This got a reaction from Skeeter, who gasped in wide-eyed wonder. Before Doug could try to change the subject, his phone went off again.

'Yeah yeah. Ma said stinky was fine. These clowns im with dont apreciate the museum. Losers.'

Connie wanted to know what Roger had said and Doug found himself being forced to read the message out loud. Patti laughed and Skeeter wanted to know if the museum had any of the harder to find Beets singles for sale. Doug laughed. "I don't know. I can't write him a whole book on here. I don't even know if he'll respond if I write him again."

"Do it!" Patti laughed. "Tell him we want souvenirs."

A strange sort of warmth blossomed in Doug's chest as he wrote back. It wasn't like his friends had ever disliked Roger exactly but for some reason he'd kind of avoided telling them he'd been keeping in touch over the summer. He guessed he'd worried about how they'd react but even now he was unsure why. Knowing that they were still willing to accept Roger into their group was touching. Doug could have groaned at himself. When had he become so lame?

'Everyone wants gifts. They're begging you to send us all something.'

They progressed in line and were buying their tickets when Roger responded. 'Everyone? Who?'

'Skeeter, Connie, and Patti. They're excited. Haha.' He read out loud as he responded, Patti buying his ticket for him while he wrote back. He let his voice trail off and didn't tell them the rest. 'I wish I could see it. It would be so cool.'

He sent the text and dropped the phone into his pocket. He didn't know why he wanted to keep the second half of the message a secret. It just felt too personal. The text was for Roger, not them. And again, he worried a little that he might be pushing the tentative new lease on their 'friendship'.

They were already standing in line to their first ride when his phone went off again. 'You and valentine would flip. This place is huge. Gotta go.' Doug read it to himself before he read it out loud. He was careful to mask any disappointment in his voice. Who knew how long it would be before Roger made contact again? A few days at least, as was typical.

Patti, Connie, and Skeeter didn't seem to notice if his mood dimmed at that. Besides, it wasn't long before the rides, games, and fair foods had him smiling again.

8/1/2002

August had already reared it's ugly head and Doug found himself alone on his front porch. The others were all busy today, Skeeter with college paperwork and planning, while the girls each had family functions to attend. Soon Doug would have to start planning out what to pack for himself for school. For his new life...

He sighed and pulled out his phone. A strange urge to call Roger settled over him but he pushed the thought aside almost immediately. A call was too personal. It might seem weird. But he couldn't keep his thumbs off the keypad.

'It's quiet here. Maybe you were right to go on a road trip.'

He didn't expect a response and stood to put his phone back in his pocket. He felt cold despite the summer temperatures and decided to go inside and find some longer sleeves. Up in his room, he distracted himself with Porkchop for a few minutes and ultimately ended up sitting at his writing desk.

With a quick look around, he determined himself to be alone and pulled out his journal. Inside, he had Roger's letter and envelope neatly tucked away. He also had the postcard Roger had sent from the museum two weeks prior. A smile split his face in two. When the cards had arrived in the mail, all to Doug's address but each with a different receiver name, the others had been shocked. They'd laughed and exclaimed how they couldn't believe Roger had actually sent them something from The Beets museum.

The front of Doug's card had a picture of the museum itself and some of the cooler displays. He ran his fingers over it before flipping the card over.

'Happy now Funnie? Dont say I never got you anything. When I get back I guess Ill let you buy me something from Mr Swirlys. You know to repay me for being so nice and all. See you later loser.'

It felt like an eternity had passed since the last time he'd seen Roger. Hell, it felt like an eternity had passed since school had ended. Was this what every new adult felt? Doug wasn't sure he liked it. He'd expected to begin feeling more in control of his life as summer had wore on but even now he still felt like he was coming up short. When was he going to be comfortable with this new phase of his life? His phone rang.

'Some of its good. The guys are being lame.'

Doug frowned at the screen and debated what to say back. Apparently neither of them were having the 'grown up' experience they'd hoped for. 'You could always come back sooner than you planned.' He sent it and set the phone on his desk. Maybe Roger would have the time to write him back.

Porkchop shuffled over then and wagged his tail in earnest. His dark eyes looked a little fuzzy most recently and his joints locked up on him sometimes. But he was the same old, fun-loving Porkchop on the inside. Doug smiled and petted his head. "What? Do you have to go out? C'mon, let's go."

He stood and Porkchop yipped as he trundled to the bedroom door. Doug grabbed his phone and followed behind his dog. Halfway down the phone rang again.

'What for? Sit around and get old? I can do that here.'

They headed for the back door and Doug opened it. Porkchop headed out and Doug followed, frowning. 'I guess. You're not staying there are you? You're going to come home, right?'

Porkchop huffed and sprinted around the yard, not as fast as he once was but still letting his tongue hang out and 'smiling' at every new thing he discovered in the grass- which Doug grudgingly realized could use cutting.

The phone rang. 'What do you care funnie? This place is as good as any.'

A spike of something white hot and angry stabbed Doug's guts as his fingers flew over the keys. 'What about your mom? You have family here and friends. What about them?' Teeth clenched, he hit the send button before he could inquire further. What about me?

It was irrational, his anger, and he knew it but he'd be damned if he could reel it in. Who did Roger Klotz think he was to just up and walk out on his friends and family? Who would keep Bluffington on its toes if Roger left?

Faster than he would have ever expected, Roger wrote him back. 'Mind your own bussiness. Ill do what ever i want.'

Doug may have physically fallen back a step. His jaw dropped and his face went hotter than ever before. Some sort of rage trembled in his guts. This was stupid. Why was he even having this conversation? He tried to swallow his anger long enough to respond. 'Fine.'

He hit send and held the power button down until his screen went black. He knew he was being childish but he didn't care. To hell with Roger. Who needed him anyway?

8/16/2002

Two weeks passed where Doug didn't hear from Roger even once. He tried not to think about it and honestly sometimes forgot about him. There was so much stuff to do in his own life. He had a dorm room number and an orientation date coming up. Everything was becoming too damned real too fast. Patti was charting out her road trip and Skeeter was getting signed up for his major. He'd completed so many college credit hours in high school that he was already a step ahead of the others. Connie was also going to school somewhere out of state, but only just across the border in North Carolina.

Doug kept his promise, though, and as time permitted he went to check in on Ms. Klotz and Stinky. At first everything seemed to be fine but both of his visits this week had seemed strained. Roger's mother was drawn and worried. She didn't have to say it out loud for him to know. Finally, earlier today when Doug had run into the local drug store for an outrageously over-priced gallon of milk, she had happened to be there as well.

Edwina wrung her hands and hesitated to approach him. He caught sight of her out of the corner of his eye and she paused before coming up to him. She kept her voice low and it shook despite her best efforts to maintain control.

"Doug, honey? Have you-" She glanced around as if to be sure there wasn't anyone else too close by. "Has Roger called you lately? Or left word with you for me?"

His breath caught in his throat. How long had it been since he'd heard from Roger? A wicked tendril of dread curled in his gut. "Uh, no. I, uh, I could try calling him for you?"

Her smile was timid, maybe even a little broken. "I- You don't have to do th-"

"No, no. It's alright." Doug shuffled to find his phone and winced when he realized he'd left it in the car. "I can call him as soon as I get out of here if you'd like."

Edwina forced a smile. "Thank you. Could you ask him to call me?"

They didn't say much else to one another after that but as soon as he got back in his car, he pulled out the phone.

'Call your mom. She misses you and seems worried. Is everything okay?'

He put his phone on the seat next to him and made for home. Given their last conversation, he wasn't sure Roger would text him back. Even if he did, it could be hours later.

When he was putting the milk in the fridge his phone went off. Instinctively, Doug swept up to his bedroom and shut the door before opening the message. He was glad he did.

'Buzz off funnie. Stop bothering me.'

Really? Why was Roger always such a jerk? It wasn't like Doug had done anything to wrong him. In fact, Doug was taking time out of his summer to keep an eye on Roger's cat and mother. Doug had important things to do with his time, especially now with enrollment only a couple of weeks away. It wasn't like Doug had to keep playing nice and doing the 'good guy' thing. He could just tell Roger to screw off and keep tabs on his family on his own.

'You're a real jerk, Roger. Call your mom. She's worried.' He tossed the phone on his desk harder than necessary and paced back and forth. He debated. He should stop checking in on Edwina and Stinky. Let Roger sweat for a while when he doesn't know what's going on at home. But... Doug sighed. He couldn't do that. Edwina had looked so lost earlier.

His phone rang and he hesitated to look. Mouth set at a slant, he knew it would be nothing good as he opened it.

'Go to hell.'

Done. He was done. Roger could go to hell for all he cared. Fine, he'd check on Edwina and Stinky but not for Roger. He'd do it because it was the right thing to do. He was finished with talking to the bully. Apparently an old dog couldn't learn new tricks. He whipped his phone across the room and it hit the wall with a loud thunk before falling to the floor behind his bed.

Doug flopped into his desk chair and put his face in his hands. He was breathing like he'd just ran a marathon. Why did Roger do this to him? Why had a simple text worked him up so much? He had other things to worry about, important things. Why was this even weighing heavily on his mind? Why couldn't he just forget Roger Klotz?

8/19/2002

The weekend was a blur of going clothes shopping, getting school supplies, getting pet supplies, and trying to see Skeeter for a simple night of video games. They'd gotten a couple of quiet hours in but Mr. Valentine had called to have Skeeter come back home at eight o'clock. It would seem the parents were just as worked up as their kids about college looming.

Monday was coming to a swift close, with the shadows drawing long, when Doug finally made it up to his bedroom. He had chosen which outfits he was going to be taking with him, they were all washed and dried, and he was ready to fold and pack them away.

As he lifted the first shirt, his phone rang. He froze for a second and looked around. Where was that coming from? His pockets were empty. The phone continued to ring. Whoever it was, they were actually calling him. It wasn't Roger just leaving a text message.

Doug dropped his shirt and looked around. Where in hell-? The last time he'd seen his phone was... He groaned and raced to the end of his bed. He pulled it out from the wall and, sure enough, the lit screen greeted him with the message that someone was calling him. He reached for it and just as his fingers met the cool plastic the ringing stopped.

"Damn it." Doug grabbed the phone and examined it for a minute. Was there a way to see who the missed call was from? He was sure there was but he'd never had to look it up before. Heaving a sigh, he shoved his bed back into it's proper place and tossed the phone down next to his clothes. If it was important they'd call back and right now he really had to finish his packing.

A moment later a different tone issued from the phone and Doug reached for it. He'd never heard that sound before. What was it- oh. A voice-mail. Was that like an answering machine? He sort of thought he remembered Judy mentioning it. He fumbled with the buttons for a moment until he figured out how to get to the message.

As soon as it started he felt a sense of dread wash over him. Roger's voice on the other end of the line sounded strained and muffled, like he might have been holding his phone close to his mouth. His words were choppy and sometimes hard to understand.

"C'mon, Funnie, stop ignorin' me. Look, I'm sorry, all right? Can ya-" There was static followed by the sounds of Willie and the others shouting in the background. Roger lowered his voice and Doug found himself holding his breath, trying to hear him. "Can ya tell my mom ta stop worryin'? I'll be back soon." There were more terrible sounds from around him, breaking glass and squealing car tires. Shouts. Roger sighed like he was tired. "Let her know that, please? I need- I need ya to do this for me, man. ... Thanks."

The click that ended the call made Doug flinch like he'd been hit. What was going on? Where was Roger and what was happening in the background? Why had Roger asked for Doug to stop ignoring him? A wave of nausea washed over him as he navigated to the text screen. Seven missed messages. His heart stopped. Christ. How had he missed all of these? He'd been busy this weekend but he'd spent some time in his room.

He clicked through them all, the bile only rising further up the back of his throat. Roger had tried to remain aloof and jerk-like at first but that had quickly dissolved into passive asking and then, finally, desperate begging.

'Funnie tell ma to stop calling me.'
'You still pissed at me? Come on. Tell her to stop.'
'Hey were are you? You said youd watch out for ma and stinky!'
'Funnie come on. Write me back. Stop ingnoring me.'
'Shit. Shes pissed. Come on man. Tell her im all right.'
'Doug were are you? Shes going to call the cops. Please man i need help.'
'Im going to head back in the morning. Tell ma please. She wont believe me.'

His fingers shook as they moved over the phone's pad. He was already hurrying down the stairs as he wrote. "Dad! I'm taking the car for a minute. I'll be back quick!"

'All right. For her, I will.' He wanted to say more, to explain he hadn't deliberately been ignoring him but... that was sort of a lie, wasn't it? Sure, he'd thrown the phone in frustration and intended to ignore Roger but if he'd had the phone on him he would have broken down and looked at the messages sooner than this. He sent the text as he climbed into the car and turned the key in the ignition.

He still felt guilty as hell and in his shame he tried to shift at least some of the blame from himself. 'You make it really hard for people to be nice to you.'

He only felt worse after sending the second message but decided not to waste time trying to think of something more to say. Edwina only lived a few blocks away but he wanted to get there as quickly as possible. Pulling up into her driveway, a strange pang of... something twinged in his stomach. Roger's car wasn't there. Of course it wouldn't be there but suddenly it seemed wrong. Roger needed to come home. He was in some sort of trouble, Doug was sure.

Racing up the front steps, Doug knocked three or four times before opening the door. Normally he wouldn't be so forward, he would wait to be let in but this felt important. He peeked his head inside. "Ms. Klotz? Are you home?"

Doug took a deep breath and crossed the threshold, closing the door behind himself. "I'm sorry to barge in but Roger wanted me to speak to you. It seemed urgent. Ms. Klotz?"

There came the rush of footsteps from somewhere toward their kitchen and Edwina raced to him. Her face was pale and she'd been crying. She smiled when she saw him and put a hand over her heart. "Oh thank goodness. Doug, he won't answer my calls. Is he all right? Has he contacted you?"

Doug nodded. It was strange to him that Roger had called him but was refusing to answer his mother's calls. He couldn't for the life of him figure out why Roger would do that but maybe there was a good reason. He shuddered. He was going to lie to her. Damn Roger, damn him to hell. Doug hated lying.

"Only texts. Maybe his phone isn't working right? Maybe he can't answer you."

The relief that washed over her features was worth the lie, he supposed. He still knew it was wrong but... something in Roger's desperation made Doug think he needed some coverage. He didn't know the real reason why her son wouldn't take her calls but he hoped he wasn't helping Roger just continue to be a jerk.

"Texts? Is that where you write back and forth to each other?" Doug nodded and she went on. "I have a mobile phone myself but I've never learned how to text." Hands in her hair, she paced back toward the kitchen only to stop and turn to him again. "He said he was alright?"

He was already backing away, toward the front door, but forced himself to nod. "Yeah. He said he was going to head home in the morning. So he should be back in a couple of days."

She let out a long sigh and fresh tears rolled down her cheeks. Her smile was embarrassed and she tried to cover her face. "I'm sorry to drag you into this. It's just... Roger's all I got left, you know? He's an idiot and he gets himself into all kinds of trouble but he's mine. He's my baby and when I couldn't get in touch with him-" She stopped and broke down into quiet sobs.

Doug didn't know what made him do it but his feet moved of their own accord and he came to put his arms around her shoulders. "It's okay, Ms. Klotz. Roger's fine. I mean, I get it. If I were you I'd have been worried too. He is... kind of a jerk and he doesn't always make good decisions-" She chuckled at that, an actual laugh. "but he's not stupid. He knows enough to get himself out of trouble. Look at all the times he's egged Mr. Bone's house and gotten away with it."

Edwina laughed again, not very convincingly, but it was progress. She pulled back from Doug and wiped away her tears. "I just wish he'd stop getting himself into trouble to begin with. Sooner or later he'll do something he can't get out of and I don't know if I'll be able to help him or not."

Doug didn't know what to say to that and stuck his hands in his pockets awkwardly. He wished he could think of a good reason to leave. He didn't know what to say to her or how to offer comfort but at the same time she looked like she needed someone. He couldn't just tell her he needed to go back home and finish packing his clothes. That sounded lame even to him.

"Look at you." Her voice was already beginning to clear as she swiped a hand down the front of his t-shirt. "Letting me cry all over you like you don't have problems of your own. You probably have a million things to do to get ready for school."

Well, since she brought it up... "Actually, yeah. I have to get my stuff packed and Porkchop's things ready. There's a lot of stuff to do."

Edwina smiled, more convincing than ever. "Sure! Of course you do. You'd better get going, hon." He nodded and jerked around to fumble for the doorknob. "Oh, and Doug? Thank you."

His throat closed up. Thanks? For what? He tried to ask her but she didn't seem to need any prompting.

"He doesn't have many friends and you're the only good one he talks about anymore. I tried for so long to get him to switch over and be friends with you and Skeeter but you know how he is." She sighed. "I don't suppose he'll ever get away from Boomer, Willie, and Ned." She shook her head.

Doug's heart was pounding so hard he could barely hear her. "Roger... talks about me?"

Edwina put a hand up. "Oh no! Not like that. Good things! He likes you. What I mean is, of any of the people who's opinions matter to him, you're the only one I like. I wish he could have fallen in with your crowd instead of those hooligans he spends his time with."

His face was warm. Roger talked about him? He said good things about him? To his mother? He... liked him?

Doug fumbled the doorknob but finally managed to let himself out. He muttered some sort of goodbye and Edwina waved to him from the steps as he backed down her driveway. His head was all fuzzy the entire trip home- admittedly a short span of time. When he arrived, he parked the car and just sat for a moment.

His heart was fluttering around like some butterfly trapped in a jar. What was this? Why couldn't he catch his breath? Why did thoughts of Roger saying good things about him make his head spin? It made no sense. No sense at all... Well, that wasn't entirely true.

Doug set his elbows on the steering wheel and put his face in his hands. He knew what this was. He knew why he couldn't think straight or feel proper emotions while around Roger. He'd begun to understand it some time ago, before Bluffscouts even but... he couldn't say it aloud. If he didn't say it then it didn't have to be true. If he never admitted it then it wouldn't hurt when Roger moved on and got married and had kids- or whatever it was Roger planned to do with his life. Doug had thought for so long, convinced himself from the start that, if he denied it even to himself then it never had to be true.

But it was. The truth was cold and hard and undeniable. Doug had a crush on Roger, not a simple envy over money or treasures. This wasn't admiration for Roger's status in the community- or rather the status of his mother's money in the community. This was infatuation, desire, longing. It was a want to see his crooked smile and to hear his shrill laugh. It was a craving for his companionship, spiritual and... physical.

Doug laughed and fell back against the driver's seat. The despair overtook him immediately. He couldn't have this. Knowing he couldn't have this was why he'd denied it for so long. And in a short week and a half he'd be in college and who knew what Roger would be doing? Why now? Why was he having to face this all now? Couldn't he have kept himself in the dark just a little longer?

His phone rang once. A text message. Broken laughter bubbled up his throat as he grabbed for the phone.

'Thanks funnie.'

He wiped away a tear as he fumbled with the keypad. This was stupid. He shouldn't be wasting his time or emotions on this. Roger would laugh if he knew what was running through Doug's head. And then he'd probably pound him to a bloody pulp.

He had to pull himself together before he went back inside. He had to get over this. There were many things Doug was going to do with his life, he was sure. There were a lot of great things he was going to have the privilege of enjoying but this wasn't one of them. He wasn't going to get to have Roger Klotz and it was better to just get the idea out of his head now.

'You're welcome.'