A/N: So sorry it took me so long to get this chapter up. It was really hard for me to write because, well, you'll see. But just remember, I hate it too, so don't beat me up too bad please. This had to happen in order for the plot to go where I want it to. So please, please, please review, even if you do hate it!!

Chapter 4: Follow Your Heart

"Try again. Focus on how a wolf looks. Bring an image into your mind. Keep your breathing steady. Good job Magelet! Your getting it." She opened her eyes half way through the the transformation, so she was covered in fur, had a tail and whiskers, but was still very human.

"What did you call me?" she asked.

"Magelet," I repeated, looking her over. She seemed completely unaware of how odd she looked. Or perhaps she just didn't care. "You should finish the transformation. You're nearly there.

She ignored me. "What's a magelet?"

I sighed. "Finish the transformation and I'll tell you."

"Tell me now."

"Not a chance. Come on. Wolf shape. Now please," I insisted. She sighed, but closed her eyes and her body started morphing again.

"Good. Try running around a bit. See if you can hold the shape," I said. She offered me a kind of lopsided grin, and trotted in a wide circle around me. I smiled at her. "Very good."

She sat down in front of me, her tail thumping softly on the grass, her tongue lolling out of the corner of her mouth, still grinning at me, and I felt an answering grin spread across my face.

"You look ridiculous," I informed her. Her grin just widened. Somewhere in the distance I heard the chime of the bell tower strike five. I sighed. "You should shift back now. We have another ball tonight, and my mother is probably looking for you."

She abruptly lost hold on her shape, and sat down on the ground. Naked. I grimaced and quickly averted my eyes. My robe, carried by my gift, soared over to her and wrapped itself around her bare shoulders.

"But we already had a ball," she protested, standing and hugging the cloth tighter to her body. A slight blush colored her cheeks, but other wise she showed no sign of discomfort at being so close to naked.

"That was the welcome ball. This ball will be to announce our official engagement," I explained. She sighed, looking both pained and frustrated. I could feel the look mirrored on my own face. It wasn't that I didn't like balls. Usually I loved them. But that was because there was always some lady I could court and flirt with all night. This ball would mean the end of all that. It would also mean the end of Varice and I.

LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

As always, it took me a long time to get ready. I had to bathe, get dressed, and make my hair sit nicely, which took its time. But at last I was presentable.

I met Daine in front of the double doors that would lead into the ballroom. She was dressed in dark red silk that was embroidered with red glass beads that easily could have been taken for rubies. The dress was drawn tight across her chest and hips, and flared out in frills around her ankles.

"Nervous?" I asked.

"Yes," she replied evenly, staring straight ahead. "I'm terrified."

"Nothing to be afraid of," I assured her, though I wasn't so sure myself.

"Maybe not." She sighed. "I just never imagined that I would have an arranged marriage. That's the kind of thing noble girls have to worry about. Not commoners. We have our own problems." She sighed again. "And I always thought that I would marry for love," she added softly. That stung. I wasn't even sure why. It wasn't like I lovedher. Why should it bother me that she didn't love me?

We walked forward, through the double doors, and down a small set of stairs as the herald announced us. A sea of people stood on either side of the red carpet that Daine and I were walking on, and it was actually quite terrifying. I kept looking down at myself, worried that one of the buttons of my black mage robe might pop off.

At the end of the carpet stood three large tables, each piled high with steaming dishes of food.

We bowed and courtesied to my parents, then took our seats at the end of the middle table.

"Not so bad, was it?" I whispered to Daine. She sent me a look that clearly said she didn't agree.

"Why are there so many people?" she whispered back. "You can't possibly know them all."

I shook my head. "We don't know them personally, well, most of them, that is, but they are important nobles that would take offense if they were not invited. We invite them simply to be polite. We don't need enemies."

"But why do they even care that we are engaged?"

I shrugged. "They probably don't. But we must always be in each others business. That's how it is with nobles. You'll get used to it."

"And then they'll all come to our wedding, too, I suppose," she said. I nodded. She opened her mouth, about to say something else, but closed it again when my father stood, and carefully tapped his wine glass.

"Welcome friends, to this special event: the joining of my son Numair, and the lovely Veralidaine."

Right on cue a servant came in, carrying a ring on a tiny cushion. I knew what came next. I had practiced my lines, like a good boy.

Clearing my throat, I got down on one knee in front of Daine.

"Veralidaine, since the first moment I saw you, you captured my heart. I think of you day and night. I promise to love you--" I stopped in my tracks. The air rushed from my lungs, and I felt like I had been kicked in the stomach by a mule. I gasped a little and blinked wildly, hoping I wasn't hallucinating, and at the same time hoping I was.

Across from me sat a tall, shapely woman, her long blond hair reflecting the candle light beautifully, her pale blue eyes shining with unshed tears.

The gathering of people broke out in murmurs of confusion at my sudden silence. My father cleared his throat loudly.

"I promise to love you--" I stopped again. How could I promise my love to someone I didn't love, when the woman I did love was sitting across from me?

"Um, Numair?" my mother prompted nervously.

"I promise to love you irrevocably 'till the end of time. Will you marry me?" I whispered hoarsely. Daine nodded, bewildered. I took the ring from the cushion and slid it onto her third finger. Then I slowly leaned in and pressed my lips gently to hers, feeling Varice's eyes on me the whole time; hearing her small sob. I felt like I was going to be sick.

I quickly pulled away from Daine, and the crowd burst into applause. Without looking at Varice or Daine, I sat down and the meal started. With my first bite of roasted lamb, I realized that I wouldn't be able to eat anything. I needed air. So, although I knew it was rude, and I would probably get heck for it later, I rose, excused my self, and made my way outside.

I walked among the the rose bushes until I came to the bench I sat with Daine on at the night of the welcome ball. That night seemed like years ago now. Daine was no longer just some Gallan bastard, but someone I felt close to. My friend. And my fiancee. Being with Daine had made me see women in a new light. Before I had compared them to prises; things to be won over, but still humans, none the less. The only ones I had ever paid attention to were the ones like Varice: tall, shapely blonds. Daine was different. She was small, but with a certain air of stubbornness. She was tough, intelligent and strong, both physically and mentally. It made me wonder how many wonderful women I had I had ignored.

But still, I didn't feel for Daine the way I felt for Varice. She was my friend, not my lover.

I picked a rose and spun it by the stem between my thumb and forefinger. Would Varice have been able to cope if her family was killed? Would she have held on, and trusted me to help her? I doubted it.

A sigh of frustration escaped my chest. Did I really love Varice? Did I even know what love was? Why was I doubting that now? I rubbed my forehead, feeling a headache coming on, and managed to prick my finger on a rose thorn in the process. Dropping the flower, I held my finger sorely, watching as a single drop of blood welled up and slowly trickled to the ground.

"Ow," I whispered.

"Arram?"

I rose and spun, coming face to face with Varice. She dabbed her eyes with a once-white handkerchief, that was now slightly stained with face paint. She was dressed in a sweeping blue gown that revealed a fair amount of skin. After spending so much time with Daine, it was almost odd seeing her again, so perfectly well groomed. Just as I remembered her.

"Varice," I whispered back, my finger completely forgotten.

A sob caught in her throat. "Why are you marring her? You said you loved me." Tears cascaded freely down her rosy cheeks, her chest heaving. I closed the distance between us and wrapped my arms around her. She buried her face in my shirt.

"Varice, I do love you, and if I had a choice I would be marrying you," I murmured in her ear, ignoring the small nagging doubt in the back of my mind. "You know I don't want this. Daine didn't want this either. The whole thing is ridiculous."

She gave a small hick-up and drew away enough to look into my eyes.

"So run away with me," she whispered. "I have a cousin in the Copper Isles. We could stay with him until we get our own place, I'm sure he wouldn't mind. We could get married and have children and--" She stopped when she saw me shaking my head.

"Varice, we can't."

"Why not?" she demanded. I opened my mouth, and snapped it shut again. Why not? I didn't have a real family here. My real family lived in Tyra, and I wouldn't miss the Salmalíns much. Lindhall was closets thing I had to a father, and Orzone was a good friend of mine, but I wouldn't stay because of them. Daine would be fine without me, wouldn't she? She would marry Elijah, or go back to Galla. So why not?

"We just can't."

She pouted at me. "You don't really love me, do you?" she whispered hoarsely, looking at her feet.

"Varice." I gently lifted her chin and stared into her bright blue eyes. "I do love you."

"You're just saying that."

"No, I'm not. How can I make you believe me?" I asked.

"Prove it," she said with a newfound strength in her voice. "Kiss me."

I stared at her full red lips, slightly pursed with expectation. We had kissed so many times before. Why should this be any different?

It was. The fact that I was engaged hung over my head as a constant reminder as to why I couldn't kiss Varice. But it was more than that. Somehow, it felt wrong.

Varice made up my mind for me. Placing her arms around my neck, she stood on her toes and and tugged my lips down to hers, and then it was just like I remembered it. The feel of her mouth against mine; the way her hands tangled in my hair, pulling my face closer; the smell of her perfume surrounding me. I didn't even try to pull away. Resting my arms around her waist, I kissed her back.

"Numair--" A startled gasp came from the path. I quickly broke away, panting slightly.

There, just behind Varice, stood Daine, betrayal and shock written all over her face.

"Daine it's not what it looks," I began, though I didn't know what it was then. She just shook her head slowly back and forth.

"Goddess. I can not believe you. You--" Her breath was coming harder now, and her eyes were filled with tears. "You disgusting creep. You leach! I—I trusted you!" she half screamed, half sobbed.

"Daine, please!

She turned and stared running back along the gravel path.

"Daine, wait!" I called desperately. I grabbed her hand and spun her to face me. "Please, let me explain--" She slapped me hard across the face. I dropped my hand, touching my cheek sorely.

"Don't touch me," she hissed through tears, and started running again.

"Daine..." I went to follow her, but Varice grabbed my hand and held me back.

"Let her go, Arram."

"I can't! Varice, she's my fiancee." I ran a free hand through my hair, that was slowly escaping its tie. "Mithros, she's right. I am a creep. How could do that to her?"

"But you love me. Right?"

"I—I can't just betray her like that. I've caused enough harm already."

She glared at me. "You can't have both of us. Choose now. One or the other."

I knew exactly what she meant. If I left her and followed Daine it would be the end of us. But if I ran away with her, well, then we would live together for the rest of our lives.

I glanced at her confident, almost smug face, then in the direction Daine had run, and back again. Varice thought she knew who I would pick. If only I was so sure.

Follow your heart. Where had I read that? Was that really the right thing to do? Could I really just leave Daine and the Salmalíns to be with Varice? Was that really what my heart was telling me to do? Had I asked my self that a week ago, I would have known the answer. Now, I wasn't so sure.

I ran a hand through my hair again. No matter what I chose, someone would get hurt. Daine needs me, I thought. But did she really? What had I ever really done to help her? If nothing else, she needs you to teach her. Varice will bounce back. She always does. She'll be fine again in a month. But Daine...

"Varice... I'm sorry," I whispered and pulled away from her, barely registering the shock on her face, and the slight stabbing pain in my chest. "I wish it wasn't like this."

I broke into run down the gravel path without looking back.

I took the back door into the building, as to avoid any guests. As I raced down the halls to Daine's room I hoped fervently that she wouldn't have gone back to the ballroom. I would be a complete disgrace if I had to enter there, not that it mattered much. I was a disgrace whether all of Carthak knew it or not.

I turned the final bend to Daine's room and sagged against the door.

"Daine?" I called softly, pounding on door. There was no answer. "Daine please open the door." I pressed my ear against the hard wood, listening. There was no sound. She must have gone back to the ballroom. I swore under my breath.

"Ah, Numair," Madam Salmalín called, striding down the corridor. "There you are. Tell me dear, have you seen Veralidaine? We should like to make another toast to the both of you."

So she wasn't in the ballroom. Then where was she?

A/N: Eww. I think I'm gonna throw up. Ugh. I feel like I'm writing a soap opera. Anyway, please review, and I totally understand if you hate it, 'cause I do too.

I've started writing the next chapter, and hopefully it won't take too long for me to get it up. And don't worry. Varice is out of the picture for now.

And, of course, a HUGE thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chappie: Da Lady Vitch, Lawis Justice, Unknown to Myself, Lioness Queen, Starling Rising, Ze'eva Shacklebolt, Mystic Weaver, Ariana May, Ace Ryn Knight, 90s gurl and MoriaRownlands222. Hope I haven't lost you!!