17 March 2016
A/N: Uh. The deadline when I'll run out of chapters keeps coming closer. Can't be that hard to write 800 words in four days? Yeah, it is. Anyway, here's another chapter! And a major intensification of events! As always, let me know what you think!
Uh, this chapter is really long, at least for my standards. 1904 words w/o A/N
Important P.S: From tomorrow, I have Easter holidays, and I'll be on vacation for a week. So, no updates. If anything, I might write the old-fashioned way with pen and paper and type it out when I come back. I'll upload the three chapters I have left as documents now and publish them day by day, but I won't be able to write a new chapter until I'm back.
Disclaimer: Percy Jackson and the Olympians and Heroes of Olympus are the intellectual property of Rick Riordan. I own nothing but the plot.
Nico
Visiting Percy's family wasn't half as bad as Nico had imagined. Jason had refused to accompany him, because it was one of the rare times when he got to see his sister, who was traveling all across the US, so Nico had to go alone. And although his knees almost buckled when he stood in front of Percy's family's door, he managed to ring the doorbell and go in. It turned out to be a very nice afternoon. None of them minded his shyness, nobody asked too personal questions, and nobody overdid it with the 'thank you'-s. Apparently, Percy had told them that Nico didn't like it.
Since then, it had been two weeks, and slowly, Percy had become Nico's friend. It was still hard to be around Percy, of course. And Percy wasn't as close to Nico as Jason was. For example, most times, Nico didn't tell him what was bothering him, mostly because Percy was bothering him (or rather, his feelings for Percy). But the three of them were together a lot. Nico had even gone as far as teaching Percy how to play Mythomagic, although he hadn't played that game since Bianca's death. The memories had been to painful. But for Percy, he had made an exception. The happy feelings that spread through him whenever he was with Percy, laughing or playing games, was far stronger than the sadness whenever he got reminded of his sister.
It wasn't all wonderful, though. A few times, he had been dangerously close to confessing to Percy. He hadn't had the heart to tell Percy that he didn't like hugs, especially since he liked Percy's hugs. He could simply pretend that everything was going to be okay in those moments. He had no clue why Percy was acting so touchy-feely around him, and Jason had no idea either. But he didn't mind. A few sweet moments in Percy's arms, pretending that there were no problems in the world, were worth anything. Even though he later, when he was alone, collapsed and cried because nothing was okay or perfect. He wouldn't have it any other way, and he hated it. Sometimes he hated himself for it, and sometimes he blamed Percy, or Jason, or anybody for it.
This weekend, his half-sister Hazel had come to visit him. She lived at the other side of the US, in California, and they didn't get to see each other very often, so her rare visits were something special. And of course, she noticed that he was sad the very moment she set foot in his house, no matter how hard he tried to pretend otherwise. What was because she was now 'interrogating' him.
"Seriously, Haze, I'm fine!" he argued, but it was no use. Despite the fact that they only saw each other like once a month, his sister knew him too well. "I can see it, Nico. It's written all over your face. You might as well wear a sign 'I'm sad, please ask me why'. So, spill it." Nico inwardly cursed this stupid thing called 'emotions', cursed his facial muscles for selling him out like that, but fate had to have it in for him that day, because suddenly Hazel's face lit up.
"I know what's wrong! You're lovesick!" she exclaimed. Nico flinched, unintentionally confirming her suspicion. "So, who is she?" Hazel pried. And these words hurt. Before he could stop himself, he had already responded.
"Who says it's a she?" he snapped, and instantly flinched again. He averted his gaze so he wouldn't see the disappointment that he expected to find in Hazel's eyes. And thus was totally caught off-guard when his sister answered. "Well, ho is he?" she said as if nothing had happened. Nico slowly looked up to find his sister smiling at him. "You-you're not… mad or something? Freaked out? Disgusted?" he stammered. Hazel's smile grew even wider. "Surprised, yes, but why would I be any of the things you said?" she answered, confusing him even more, though his confusion was slowly mixing with relief. He had been scared of this moment since forever, though he had always been sure it would never come, since he wouldn't come out unless he'd have a boyfriend, and he was sure that he'd never get over Percy. He was shocked and relieved at the same time, and only noticed that he was crying when he felt tears splashing on his hands.
Within a second, Hazel sat down beside him and hugged him. He clung to her shirt, crying onto her shoulder until the tears stopped, and the whole time, she kept whispering into his ear that everything would be okay. Once he had calmed down, he decided he might as well tell her everything.
"It's Percy Jackson."
Hazel was one of Percy's best friends. She was best friends with Jason's girlfriend, too, and also friends with some of Nico's schoolmates, Leo Valdez for instance. And thus, she had to know how hopeless the situation was. But, to Nico's surprise, she didn't sigh or said how sorry she was after he had told her how he had befriended Percy and suffered even more now. Sure, she expressed her surprise about how long he had been into Percy, but apparently, she actually believed that everything would be alright. As if he'd ever have a chance with Percy. Obviously, Hazel had hung out with Jason too much, if his optimism already rubbed off.
Percy
Okay, now it was official: I needed advise. Desperately. And so I decided to talk to Jason. What was the whole bro-thing good for if not to help each other and talk about problems?
"Hey, grumpy cat, why do you look so sour?"
Speaking of the devil… unnoticed by me, Jason had sat down next to me. Latin was the only class we had together, and of course, Jason perfect Grace had absolutely no problems with it. Fine with me. This way, we'd have time to talk. Nonetheless, I lowered my voice, so Mr. Brunner wouldn't notice.
"I think I'm in love, Jace" I whispered. Jason shrugged. "So what? Just tell her. 90% of all girls would love to date you." My shoulders slumped. "That's part of the problem. I- I'm in love with a guy, Jason, and I don't know what to do." But Jason didn't seem impressed. "Well, then tell him, bro. It's not like he, whoever it may be, would bite your head off or so." I wasn't so sure of this, though. "By the looks of him, he might as well do that" I murmured, not meaning Jason to hear this. But of course, he did. "Okay, Perce, now I'm curious. Who has had the luck of catching your eye?"
"Nico."
Jason, who had been rocking his chair backwards and forwards, almost toppled and fell. Suddenly, he grabbed my wrist, almost crushing my bones, and the look in his eyes had changed from 'amused' to 'dead serious and murderous' as he spoke up. Wow, he hadn't been this protective ever since Drew had tried to force me into dating her.
"I warn you, Percy. You'd better be serious about this." His grip on my wrist loosened a bit. "Tell me. Everything. Now."
And tell him I did. How I had felt fascinated by Nico as soon as I had seen him after waking up. How grateful I had felt after I had learned that I owed my life to him. How desperately I wanted to know why he was so sad and melancholic, and how badly I wanted to be his friend. How much I had learned to appreciate his company during the last two months. How he captured my eyes and attention, and how I stared at him whenever he didn't look. How I felt nervous and uneasy around him, and how my heartbeat sped up when I was alone with him. How much affection I felt for him. To sum it up, all the cliché things one would expect when talking about so-called 'love at first sight'. I told him how I had struggled with the realization that I wasn't as straight as I had thought. And, most importantly, I told him how sure I was to have absolutely no chance to be ever loved back by Nico di Angelo.
When my monologue was over, Jason remained silent for several minutes before finally speaking up. And it was exactly what I had expected. "Percy, I know this sounds absolutely cliché, but… tell him. I know what you're gonna say, but think about it. If he feels the same way, you'll be happy that you told him. If not… well, Nico isn't the kind of guy to hate or ignore you because of that."
I swallowed hard. "I know, Jace. But… it would change things. Despite all rationality, I fear to lose him as a friend. And I don't want that…" the last words came out as a whisper. Jason shrugged. "That's the only advice I can give you."
Alright, Percy. Relax. You can do this. Slowly, I raised my fist and knocked on the door. Nico opened after a few minutes, and I did my very best to hide my inner turmoil; without much success of course. I had never been good at hiding my emotions.
"Um, can we talk?" I stammered, and Nico wordlessly nodded, leading me into the living room. What was coming now would be the hardest part. All the speeches I had thought of earlier had suddenly vanished into thin air. So I would have to improvise; a guarantee for failure. Better make sure he hears you out I thought.
"Uh, Nico… promise me you won't interrupt me and hear me out, okay?" I asked, and Nico again nodded. Great. He was probably freaked out before I opened my mouth.
"I like you. More than I should." Uh, that sounded a) creepy b) cliché. "I guess you can't reciprocate these feelings, and I'm pretty sure you won't want me around anymore, but I just need to get this off my chest. So, yeah- I like you a lot. I have a crush on you. Whatever way you'd like to put it." I didn't dare use the word 'love', so I wouldn't freak him out even more. 'Love' is a meaningful word which should not be used easily.
For the first time today, Nico opened his mouth, and said the word I had prepared myself to hear.
"No."
I hung my head low and my shoulders slumped. To be expected. "Well, I won't bother you anymore, goodbye and everything…" I muttered as I got up, but Nico's hand found its way to my wrist and held me back. "You get me wrong – I think you misinterpret your own feelings. It's probably just misplaced gratitude or something, like Stockholm Syndrome, just fixated on a savior instead of a kidnapper…" he kept rambling, but I didn't listen. Anger rose inside me. I could have lived with it if he'd say 'sorry, but I don't like you that way' (that's a lie – I couldn't have), but accusing me of not being able to read my own feelings properly…
I freed myself from his grip and ran outside before he could see the tears forming in my eyes, partially due to the rejection, partially due to his accusations. I really need to talk, rather rant, about this to Jason.
