People bustled everywhere, their chatter loud but indistinct. He snapped a shot of their target on his phone before pulling back and surveying the area.

"Target aquired," he relayed back through the comms.

"Great job AC," Daisy replied furiously typing away back in Zephyr One. "Anything out of the ordinary down there with you?"

"Everything seems pretty legit, but I'm gonna tail him," Coulson responded moving from his position to follow their target.

"Ok, let us know if you find anything," Daisy said before they clicked off comms.

He followed their target at a relaxed pace, his body language communicating ease and calm. His target moved weaving between street vendors, as Phil moved along at a casual stroll playing the part of the happy tourist. He paused briefly every now and then, stopping to look at items on display in the stalls decorating the street, maintaining his cover as he also kept an eye on the target. He snapped a few shots with his camera in the direction of the target, looking inconspicuous and just like any typically curious tourist. As the target paused he stopped to check the few shots he had taken, as the target began moving again, he looked up from his camera continuing after him. A woman in a dark leather jacket bumped into him, knocking him slightly to the side. He stood there stunned as he saw her moving further away in the sea of people, her dark hair fluttering in the breeze.

"May?" He asked softly under his breath, turning around to follow where she'd disappeared to.

Taking off after her, all thoughts of their target he was supposed to be tailing fled from his mind. There was only one thing he could think of right now, and that was catching up with May. He raced after her, dodging through people and straining his neck to see her. She paused briefly, but it was just enough time to allow him to catch up.

"May!" He called as he finally caught up to her, touching her arm to stop her.

The woman looked up at him with a confused expression.

"Sorry, I thought you were someone else," he said forlornly releasing his hold of the stranger's arm as he realised that she wasn't his May. His heart deflated as his hopeful expression fell.

She gave him a small understanding smile, before moving on. He watched the woman leave, cursing himself inwardly. His mind had jumped to impossible conclusions in a split second. How could he have thought that that woman was May? May was dead. He mustn't be as over his grief as he had thought perhaps. It was making him a liability.

"Coulson?" Daisy called for him over comms. "Coulson! Coulson! Answer me Coulson!" She began to become frantic at his lack of response.

"Yeah," he managed to croak out, pushing down the rising grief in his chest. He could not break down now.

"What's happening Coulson? Where's the target?"

Shit.

"Shit," he verbalized his thoughts. "I'm returning to base," is all he supplied as he made his way through the crowd and back to their rendezvous point. There was no point in him trying to go after their target now, he was probably long gone by now.

"Coulson? What happened?" Daisy bombarded him with questions as he returned to the base. She followed him as he exited the hanger, almost ghosting him.

"What happened out there?" She asked again as they made it into his office. "We just lost you out there."

He sighed deeply as he sat heavily into his chair, slouching slightly in an ungraceful position. He looked like the epitome of defeat.

"I- I thought I saw something out there," he admitted, resting his head in his hands digging the heel of his palm into eyes.

"What did you see?" She asked leaning forwards over one of the chairs placed in front of his desk.

"It's stupid now," he sighed, reluctant to talk about what had happened.

"Coulson, I don't want to seem disrespectful sir, but if something is distracting you and interfering with the mission, you should tell us."

She was right he thought tiredly rubbing at his eyes. It wasn't fair on the team.

"I thought I saw May," he said straight off the bat. Best to just get it out he thought. Melinda never had problems with being direct.

Daisy fell quiet, shocked at his statement, her mouth forming an 'O' shape.

"Yeah," he said shaking his head, it obviously sounded as crazy as he thought it was.

"Coulson, I-"

"It's fine," he cut her off. "I'll deal with my own issues and get things sorted. For now you just focus on managing the missions with the others. We need all hands on deck."

"But sir I could-"

"It's fine really," he reassured her looking at her meaningfully. It probably lost its effect though due to the tired bags underneath his eyes and the almost permanent frown marring his brow.

"Well, if you need anything or just someone to talk to… You know where to find me," Daisy gave him a brief sad smile before leaving his office. She wanted to help him, but she couldn't if he wouldn't let her.

"Oh god Mel," he mumbled to himself finally alone in his office after Daisy's departure. "What am I supposed to do?"

He rested his head on his desk squeezing his eyes shut tightly. No matter how hard he tried to move on, she was still there, constantly reminding him of her. Whether he just walked past a sunglasses stand with aviators just like hers, or seeing a beautiful motorcycle sitting in a parking lot. Even flying reminds him of her, it's so hard. How can people expect him to just move on, to get over it, when everything reminds him of her?


"Phil!" She screams as she falls from the bridge. Her fingers slip from his grasp and send her plummeting to the rushing water beneath them.

"NO!" He cries as he watches her fall. Her body disappears beneath the dangerous waters, nothing but a rise of bubbles amongst the froth of the churning waters.

He's stumbling through the trees, trying to find her. He can't lose her again, not again.

The water is closer now and he runs towards the sound of it. It's rushing so quickly, tree branches are snagging on hidden rocks beneath the surface as they're swept along. Suddenly he sees her. She's down by the side of the water as it rushes over her legs still partially in the dangerous stream. With dark wet hair plastered to her forehead, she looks awfully pale.

"MEL!" He calls as he runs to her side.

There is mud all over his shoes and his trousers but he doesn't care.

"Stay with me Mel," he orders as he presses a finger to her pulse. It's faint, barely there.

She tries to move and an agonised scream is torn from her lips, tears rolling down her already wet cheeks.

"Don't move," he says as he takes in the horrifying angle of her left arm. It's twisted in a way that seems excruciating and he thinks he can see some bone poking through. There is blood ringing the water red as it flows past them. She's bleeding but he can't find where. He doesn't want to touch her for fear of making the situation worse but there is nothing he can do. She's barely breathing now and he can't see her chest rise and fall.

"Mel?!" He calls feeling for her pulse again and holding her right hand. "Don't you dare leave me!" He says as he frantically tries to feel for her pulse. "You can't leave me Mel!" He's almost shouting now. He can't face losing his best friend, his partner. She's too important to him, she's the centre of his world. He can't lose her.

"Coulson," Daisy calls but he refuses to acknowledge her. Can't she say that May is dead. She's gone, just like that. He never even got to say a proper goodbye. He never got to tell her how he truly felt.

"Coulson!" Daisy calls again though this time more insistent.

No! He thinks. He will not be torn from May's side, loyal to the end. Partners for life.

"COULSON!" Daisy calls shaking him.

He startles awake, head rocketing up from his desk. Taking in his surroundings he notices that he's in his office. He fell asleep at his desk again he realises.

"What is it?" He asks finally turning to respond to her.

"I think we've got another hit on Hydra."


A/N

Well... that was angsty. I was hoping to update sooner but school's been really busy and holidays haven't made it any easier. Maybe we'll get to see May soon *wink wink*... Please leave a review and let me know your thoughts and Pheels. Hearing from you guys makes my world brighter :)