This silver dagger's for my broken heart
It's always times like these when I think of you
He stumbled through the doors, almost falling to the floor but Felix grabbed him before he did and dragged him to his feet. "You must be Jacob Black. All you need to do is ask and then we can refuse you a visit without punishing you." He snarled. It wasn't Jake, I realized that quickly. "Seth?" I said, stepping closer to him. Seth looked up at me and smiled. "Why are you here?" Felix said with pure hatred. "Jacob Black sent me with a message." Jake sent a message, to me? "Give your message and get out dog!" Felix shouted, letting go of Seth. "I told you not to come, Seth. I told you all to stay away." Seth walked over and pushed a piece of paper into my hand. "I'll meet you there in three days. If you don't come, I'll stay away I promise." He whispered in my ear. I nodded. I had no idea how to get away but I knew I had to meet Seth.
"If you two have finished, we have an intruder to punish." Felix shouted. He wanted me completely shut out of my old life. "If you dare, Felix…" I said, stepping closer to him. "You'll what; you know it's the law." He wasn't hurting Seth. This is exactly what I knew he would do to the others. That's why they had to stay away. "I'LL KILL YOU!" I would. If he hurt any of them I would rip his body to pieces and burn hi myself. Aro put a hand on my shoulder, I shoved him off, I didn't want him finding out that I was meeting Seth. "He can go and tell his "Alpha" that he delivered his message." Aro said, settling our argument. I hadn't won but Seth was okay and I guess that was something. One of the guards pushed Seth out but he threw him off and walked freely.
"You dare touch him, Felix…" I said but I couldn't do anything now, I was outnumbered. I just walked out, I needed to think. I needed music, on the roof, blasting as loud as possible. So I grabbed a stereo and ran up there. The sun was just about setting, the perfect time of day, twilight. Back to the music. I put the first cd to hand in and hit play. The first song to blast out the speakers was a linkin' park, breaking a habit. I really couldn't care less if most people hated my kind of music but I had it blaring out the cd-player as loud as I could.
I walked around the roof, it was full of memories. There was my sunset carving, set in stone, a moment forever. There was a place on the tower where it had rained and I had traced the lines with my nails, it was the only time I had ever been up there in the rain; I had slipped and couldn't change to fire to save myself and Felix had to catch me. When I was a kid I had played hide and seek up here once and hidden on the roof. As I climbed across it I knocked off several slates, so I was found easily. Those slates had never been replaced. My favorite St Marcus day mask still hung from the chimney by its ribbons from when I tied it there, the day I left. It would be twelve years ago in four days. And the most vivid memory left the biggest mark. I had just woken up after being changed. I was so scared and upset, I tore up some bricks but that wasn't it. I found out I could create fire and accidentally threw a huge fireball at the ground. It left a small crater, surrounded by scorch marks. Most of my times up here had been alone, it was better that way, this was my place.
The night I had changed and the day I woke up were the two most memorable moments of Italy, because they were the worst. Aro had told Felix to change me. He knew Felix loved me so he played on his feelings to get him to change me. I remembered Jane and him had held me down; on some sort of ceremonial alter. It was marble and cold against my back. I fought back, I didn't know it was useless but I still did. I could feel his teeth, piercing my skin, he was trying to be gentle, so as not to hurt me but it didn't matter. I could still feel the pain, as clear cut as if he had torn me apart. The poison burned like fire as it blocked my veins and turned my heart to stone, cold and un-beating. My blood froze, almost choking my veins with the pain, the searing sensation of the last journey, before the darkness. And all I could do was scream. I could almost hear my screams echoing back to me from around the room.
I woke up scared. If my heart had still been beating, it would have hammered in my chest. The fear was racing through my head in a flash of thoughts that didn't seem like my own. I could see sharper lines, hear the tiniest sounds, smell the faintest odors. I could see every grain of sand that had held together to form the marble that I stood on, the tiny swirling flames of the candles down the corridor as I burst out of the room in frantic terror. I could almost feel the vibrations as Felix ran after me. I had always been faster than him and stronger and he had hated it.
I was glad I had got away, it was like a holiday, but you can't stay on holiday forever I had always known I would come back here, I'd never wanted to but I knew I would. It was like a shadow, it never quite went away. But those who don't go into the sun don't have a shadow and I was determined to get rid of mine.
