Harry Potter and the Final Fucking Year in This God Damn School - Chapter 4: The Trial

The cold snowy days of December came. December, for Harry, meant only one thing..... his trial. As you know Harry was sued by his aunt for the "mysterious deaths" of Mr. Vernon Dursley and Mr. Dudley Dursley. December 14 came and went soon it was Harry's trial. The morning of the trial finally arrived.

Harry went to the Ministry of Magic acompanied by Mrs. Weasly. Unlike his fifth year when he came for his last trial, he apparated into the courtroom. When he go there, he saw his aunt already there. The judge walked in. "Mr. Harry James Potter, am I correct?" he directed himself at Harry. "Yes sir," Harry responded. "And Mrs. Petunia Dursley I presume?" He asked Aunt Petunia. "Yes your honor," she responded. "Very well," the judge said. "Let the trial begin."

"Okay, Mr. Potter," said the judge. "It is my understanding that you are being sued by the plantiff Mrs. Petunia Dursley for the mysterious deaths of her husband, Mr. Vernon Dursley and her son, Mr. Dudley Dursley. Is this information correct?" He looked at both Harry and Aunt Petunia. They both nodded in unison. "Mr. Potter, how do you plead?" asked the judge. "Be reminded that you are under oath and we will know if you are lying or not." "Okay..." said Harry. "I plead not guilty." "Very well Mr. Potter. Mrs. Dursley," the judge said with boredom in his voice. "Can you please tell us everything you know about the case in question and if you have any witnesses, please leave their name with James," he said as he pointed to the bailiff. Aunt Petunia walked up and gave a name to James. "Mrs. Dursley, you witness against Mr. Potter is Ms. Arabella Doreen Figg. Is this so?" Aunt Petunia nodded. "Very well," he said. "You may proceed with your story." Aunt Petunia walked up to the witness bench slowly and cooly. She was walking so slow, it took her ten minutes just to get there. By now the judge was really fucking pissed that he yelled at Aunt Petunia. "God damn it woman could you walk any fucking slower? I inda plan on going home tonight you fucking bitch!" Aunt Petunia just stood there, dumbstruck and staring blankly at the judge. "Very good," said the judge. "You may now tell your story." "Well," Aunt Petunia started saying. "It all happened last July. My husband, son and I were calmly sitting in the family room when this," she looked and pointed at Harry. "This fuckhole came in and started yelling threatening comments at my family." Pause. "What exactly did he say?" the judge asked her. "Well.... he came in and said, 'I hate you people! You'd better do everything I tell you to do... or I'll have your heads!' Then, he took out his wand."

"Thats bull shit!" Harry shouted. "She's fucking making cock-and-bull stories!" Now the judge really was pissed. "Order! Order in the court! Mr. Potter! I will have order in my courtroom or I will have you removed and you will automatically lose this case. Is that understand?" "Yes sir," Harry told him. "You will let Mrs. Dursley finish telling all the God damn lies she fucking feels like telling. There will be a time for you to tell your story Mr. Potter." He told Harry. He then looked at Aunt Petunia. "You may continue telling your lies... story? You may continue telling your story." "Thank you your honor. As I was saying... he took out his wand and pointed it at my husband." "That's a fucking lie!" shouted Harry. "Mr. Potter! I have you told before! You will maintain order in my courtroom or you will suffer the consequences! Be warned Mr. Potter one more outburst like that and you will feel my wrath!" the judge by now was extremely pissed. "Fine!" said Harry under his breath. "Lousy fuckhole. Thinks he's fucking better than me. Well he's not! I'm famous because Lord Voldemort killed my fucking parents." "Okay Mrs. Dursley, please resume yours story." "Thank you once again your honor. Anyway, after he pointed his want at my husband, he must have done some thing because my husband started having a heart attack. So I took him to the hospital and left my son Dudley at home with him," she pointed at Harry. "And when I came home, he was gone and Dudley was dead," Aunt Petunia said and started to cry. "Okay," said the judge. "We will now call on any witnesses. Ms. Arabella Doreen Figg, would you please come to the stand." Mrs. Figg walked up to the stand a hell of a lot fasther than Aunt Petunia. This made the judge happy. "Mrs. Figg, please tell us where you were the night of the alleged crimes and anything else you know about it." "Yes sir," said Mrs. Figg.

"It all happened last July. I was inside my house trying to give my cat Mr. Tibbles a bath," said Mrs. Figg. Harry started laughing because Mrs. Figg was too stupid to know that cats hate water. "Stupid dumbass bitch," he said under his breath. The judge decided to ask Mrs. Figg why she was trying to give the cat a bath. "Mrs. Figg," he said rubbing his forehead. "Why exactly were you trying to give your cat.... Mr. Tibbles a bath?" "Because," Mrs. Figg answered. "He was filthy." "Oh," said the judge. "Okay please continue your story." "Very well, as I was saying, I was giving Mr. Tibbles a bath and I saw young Mr. Potter walk in. I'm guessing it was around 10:30 at night. Then he walked in and nothing unusual happened for another 15 minutes. When Mrs. Dursley carried... er... dragged Mr. Dursley out and went away. Then about an hour and a half later, I saw a green flash coming out of the Dursley's household. And that's all I know." "Thank you Ms. Figg," he told her. "You may go now. Mr. Potter," the judge looked at Harry. "You may tell your story after a short, one day recess. Court is adjourned, for now." And with that he banged the gavel on his desk.