Meanwhile, somewhere around the Country Where There's A Village Hidden In The Clouds.
"There's a staaarmaaan waiting in the sky! He'd like to come and meet us, but he thinks he'd blow our minds!"
Sasuke's left eyebrow twitched.
"There's a staaarmaaan waiting in the sky! He's told us not to blow it, 'cuz he knows it's all worthwhile!"
"Shut up." Commanded the Uchiha.
"Let the children lose it!"
"Shut. Up." This time was a bit more forceful.
"Let the children use it!"
"SHUT UP!" Yelled the incredibly angry Uchiha, turning around fully and glowering.
"Le the children boogie!" Suigetsu continued, much to Sasuke's rage.
"SHUT THE FUCK UP, GODDAMMIT!"
After checking and making damn sure that Suigetsu wouldn't randomly break into song again (Juugo promised to punch him if he did, since Juugo was a fan of whatever monster had produced that song and affirmed that Suigetsu had butchered it), Sasuke turned to Karin. "Routine check." He said.
A routine check was something that Karin had to do every time Suigetsu did something stupid that could get people on their trail. Sasuke was VERY hated by Konoha. Jiraiya of the Sannin had given Sasuke the most thorough trashing he'd ever received, which he'd survived on sheer dumb luck, namely, he'd survived only because Jiraiya didn't think Naruto would've wanted him to die, even after killing him.
Karin blinked. This was a normal occurrence. She blinked because everyone blinks, most of the time. Right now, however, she'd stopped dead on her tracks and fallen on her butt, her eyes impossibly wide. "Oh… oh god…" She muttered.
Sasuke instantly snapped to alertness. "What is it, Karin?" He pressed.
"There's a chakra signature… it's… it's huge! And it's coming this way!"
"How huge?" Asked Suigetsu, suitably excited at the prospect. He'd been pissed he hadn't gotten to fight anyone interesting yet.
"Kyuubi Huge." Karin replied. She'd only felt a single tail of power, from quite a bit of distance, once. But it was the only thing she could compare it to. Nothing ever felt quite as frightening as what she was feeling right now. She was extrapolating from the feel of that one tail what the entire thing might've felt like. "Maybe even bigger."
"Well, shit." Sasuke muttered. There was only a couple people who had chakra on par with a tailed beast. One was dead, Sasuke was sure of it, another was Kisame Hoshigaki and the other was B, the Jinchuuriki of the Hachibi, and given the sound trashing that B had given Team Taka when they'd met by chance in one of his vacation spots, they didn't want him on their tails.
"It's… Oh… God…" Karin began to enter shock. "We have to run before it catches up! We have to get away! NOW!" She snapped, grabbing Sasuke by the collar of his silk white shirt.
"No way! I run from no one!" Yelled the angry Suigetsu. He was really pissed that he never got to fight anyone important. It was his second peeve, the first being that Sasuke was delaying him from finding the swords of the swordsmen, which was his real objective.
"Maybe we should. I have a bad feeling." Juugo said, looking at the frightened Karin. "I have never seen her like this."
Sasuke shrugged. "She was scared of a bear that I killed when I was a Genin." He said, cracking his neck. "Whatever it is, we'll take it on and win, no problem."
"There's more… There are two of them… No… three. There are three immense chakras heading our way. All three of them feel… I don't know how to say it… they feel demonic." Karin commented. "They're almost here! Please, Sasuke, we've got to run!"
"Yanno, by this point it's kind of pointless." Suigetsu said, sounding not really all that displeased at all, which further incensed Karin and she finally figured out that yeah, Suigetsu might be nuts, but it was her entire group that was nuts.
"What, why?" She asked, turning around, feeling her voice die in her throat as she saw a gigantic… tree… human… thing with green, pupil-less eyes. Next to it was a little girl in a miko outfit that seemed to be a size too big, hiding her hands from view behind the sleeves. Her very light cyan, almost white, hair was gathered into a spiky ponytail.
Karin could admit that she never would've expected danger for her were it not for the obviously evil blade she held behind her back. How did she know it was evil? Well, there was black lightning circling around it, it was black and had sinister spikes lining the guard, and well, to Karin's chakra sense the damnable thing felt like someone was jabbing a needle in her third eye.
The giant made of wood roared and smashed its long forelimbs into the ground. It kind of looked like a huge wooden gorilla.
"Now, calm down, Woody." Said a rather cheerful voice.
"But My Lord, those people are-" the wooden gorilla's thundering voice assaulted Team Taka's ears.
"Yeah, yeah, I know who they are, Woody." Said the voice again. Just then, a child, even smaller than the miko swordsgirl, with the most gorgeous shade of blond hair that Karin had ever seen. His aura was the outright worst of the lot. If the other two were similar to a tailed beast, his was… his was in a whole other level entirely.
There was no doubt in Karin's mind that the other two, despite being bigger, seemingly older and stronger, were the small blond's subordinates. He had such gorgeous blue eyes, too… it was odd to see such beautiful eyes on someone who oozed the same abject vileness that the blond did.
"Can I kill them yet?" The miko asked, looking at the boy.
"No."
"Aww… you never let me have any fun!" the swordsgirl whined, pouting and looking not unlike a child who'd just had her favorite toy taken away.
The blond sighed. "Anyway… I guess you're surprised, seeing me here, huh Sasuke?"
Karin felt her breath's refusal to come out of her throat. This boy, this monster, knew who Sasuke was. And from Sasuke's reaction, that shocked gasp, Sasuke knew him as well.
"Na… Naruto?"
"Bingo!" Said the blond, now identified as Naruto.
"But… how… I…"
"Killed me?" Naruto asked, his tone with a mocking quality to it. "That you did, jerkwad, that you did." The blond said, grinning widely. "But, as they say, what kills you, makes you stronger."
The wooden giant looked at its lord. "Uhm… that's not how the quote goes…"
The blond merely handwaved his concern away. "Anyway, now you're wondering: what's my resurrected teammate doing here?" mocked the blond. "Well, while you can only think about revenge, I have other things in my mind, but I am nice enough to drop by and say hi." Said the blond, offering the gathered Team Taka a winning smile. "I'm still going to beat the everloving crap out of you, but it's nothing personal."
Sasuke blinked. "This must be a hallucination."
Suigetsu swore under his breath. That girl… that girl was fucking terrifying. He'd thought that the seven swordsmen of the mist were as good as it got with Kenjutsu, the ultimate masters… but they weren't. No, hell no. This girl could probably take all seven of them on without even breaking a sweat!
Okay, maybe he was exaggerating, since he was a tad ticked off that she was so much better than him.
"You're boring! Naruto-sama never lets me fight anyone cool! All I ever get is the chumps!" She said, sniffing indignantly.
"It's not my fault you bitch, I'm a swordsman, I can't do much if I don't have the appropriate tools, and, if you hadn't noticed yet, I'm not carrying a sword on me right now!" Suigetsu snapped, narrowing his eyes in annoyance.
"Any swordsman worth his salt carries his sword everywhere! What kind of swordsman are you if you are without a blade?" She questioned.
"YOU JUST SLICED MY SWORD IN HALF YOU CRAZY BITCH!"
The girl blinked. "Ah. Sorry. Couldn't tell, since that thing was so pitiful. I mean, have you even leveled up the damn thing? It's a level 0 item!"
"Level 0? It was a fucking legendary sword!"
"It's rank is meaningless if you don't level it up!"
Suigetsu was mystified as to what the hell she meant.
Karin began to rock back and forth. "It isn't possible… nobody can have that much chakra… it isn't possible…"
"My name is Woody. It is a pleasure to meet you." Woody said, offering his hand.
"Juugo, likewise." Replied Juugo, shaking it firmly.
"I just wanted to say that it's nothing personal, just a demon doing what a demon is."
"I understand. Please don't take it personally if I start yelling obscenities and death threats."
"Let's have a fun bout."
"Agreed."
There was a moment of silence between them, as well as the heavy sound of two giants hitting the floor, separated only by a short distance and a sizable crater.
"I'LL PUNCH YOU IN THE FUCKING SOUL!"
They jumped again, this time crashing into each other and beginning a struggle for dominance.
"So… You're alive." Sasuke began.
"Back from the dead." Naruto confirmed.
"You must be a hallucination brought on by Karin in an attempt to keep me unconscious long enough to rape me." Sasuke said, nodding to himself. "It won't work! You won't defeat me!"
Naruto smacked his forehead. "You're still running on Insane Troll Logic?"
"I don't even know what that is!" Sasuke snapped.
"Ah… so that's how you make your weapon so strong…" Suigetsu said, nodding and rubbing his chin. "But isn't it dangerous?"
"Most of the time, yeah. But it's one of the few times when Master lets me cut loose so it's okay!" The swordsgirl chirped.
"Where can I find an item worlder, then?"
"Any netherworld worth its salt has at least a dozen of those. Since Master intends to move his Netherworld here, we'll place a few here soon."
"That does sound tempting…"
"Anyway, since you don't have a proper weapon to make this fight interesting, I'm gonna lend you one from my personal collection! Don't lose it, though. Took long enough to steal it from its owner the first time around."
She stuck a hand inside her wide sleeve and, in a move that caused Suigetsu's eyes to bulge out of his skull, pulled a blade as long as she was tall from the confines of her sleeve. Talk about deep pockets. The blade was long, straight, double edged and as black as the darkest onyx. "Ah, here it is, the Onyx Blade! Very high level stuff."
The moment Suigetsu's hands touched the blade's handle, however, he blacked out and awoke to find himself staring up at the form of a woman who some would've called childishly cute. Suigetsu was more worried about the terrifying smirk in her face, though.
"W-Who are you?" Asked the terrified Hozuki.
"My name is Revya. I am the Devourlord. Pleased to meet you."
Suigetsu's screams of both pain and anguish were soon replaced by mad cackling.
Back in the real world… "Woah. That bitch was kinky." Suigetsu informed the swordsgirl. "… I kind of wanna do that again, now."
"No time for that! That thing should have enough stat boosts on it to get you on par with me, for a while at least! Come on, brat, gimme a good fight!"
"Brat!? I'm older than you!" Suigetsu raged.
"I'm two thousand and twelve years old!"
"Okay, maybe I'm not older than you…"
