The deal she'd made hadn't seemed so bad at first, not when she had chipped that silly tea cup and not even as he'd explained that she couldn't leave because of all the protection spells he had on the castle. "Try to leave or run away dearie," he'd mocked, "and the consequences could be...fatal!" he'd giggled with glee as the horrible truth finally sunk into the pit of her stomach. She was trapped, truly imprisoned, but leaving or running away had never been her intention. From the very beginning she'd meant to keep her word, she would stay, forever. And there was plenty to do with that forever.
First and foremost was learning her prison up and down. The castle was huge and she did her best to learn the layout to make it seem smaller. But it was impossible to learn in such a short amount of time, and she found herself lost more often than not. Once she'd even stumbled upon a hallway with no windows and no doors, only an archway that looked as though it might once have been a door only it was missing knobs and hinges. "Careful!" he'd squealed, sneaking up behind her and making her jump. "That vault has no doors for a reason. Only dark magic dwells in this castle dearie, if you're not careful you might just regret getting too close!" Unable to think of anything to say to him, she'd turned on her heel and stormed away, leaving him standing there alone. She'd gotten the message loud and clear. This was not a safe place. Though she did manage to find some escapes and happy surprises in her wanderings.
She liked the towers. There were many but she'd figured out how to get up into two of them. The first, she'd discovered quickly, he used. But he didn't particularly want her there and frankly she didn't particularly want to be around him anymore than she had to be. But the other one she'd found, on the east, it was empty. She found herself loosing hours staring out that window the first couple of days. The snow she saw when she first arrived had been a fluke, probably the result of an unusally cold night and storm, it melted within days of her first arrival but the cool air didn't disappear. Winter always came early to the mountains but from the tower she could look down into the valley below and see a small village enjoying what she assumed was beautiful autumn weather.
She thought about her own village often, the one she'd left behind. She'd heard nothing from the world outside of this castle since she arrived. Nothing. So while she sat around hoping that they were safe, that the deal she'd made with the Dark One had been upheld, and they were experiencing the beautiful weather just as that village was, she honestly didn't know. Had her sacrifice been worth it? Were they happy? Healthy? Rebuilding? Going on without her? She could feel her growing curiosity itching in the back of her head and as the week wore on it only seemed to get worse the more and more her patience had been tried.
Cooking, cleaning, laundry...it had all seemed so easy when she'd first heard his requests, standing there in her fathers pristine palace. But trying to learn to clean with a castle this large, with less and less sleep, with no word on the safety of her people, and no one to teach her how to do any of these things was too overwhelming! Learning all the things that he wanted her to do provided her with a distraction from her current predicament but it just wasn't enough, especially when the "learning" was more of an "attempt". And each day she kept getting the feeling that instead of improving her situation was worsening.
And of course he didn't help. He wasn't exactly torturing her, but he wasn't exactly being friendly either. They never spoke to one another. Not as two civilized human beings who were the only two occupants in a castle in a mountain probably should. And the few times he did speak to her he mostly just barked orders or complained.
A few days ago she'd started in the great room. Dusting hadn't been so hard, but the sweeping was, the sheer size of the room made sure of that. But she'd painstakingly moved things around in order to get to every bit of floor that she possibly could and that was the first time that he'd grumbled.
"Why is my wheel over here?!" he snapped when he came down for the evening.
"I needed to sweep," she'd explained. He hadn't said anything, just shook his head with something like annoyed disbelief, like he had no words for how angry he was because she'd moved his silly spinning wheel and it's platform! Nothing had been broken, no harm done, it was only temporary, yet he acted as though she'd set fire to the thing.
The next day she'd found a chaise across the hall in another room, stashed in a old corner completely forgotten about, and moved it while he'd been off somewhere doing...whatever it was he did with his days in the that tower. It was filthy, and smelled like it hadn't seen daylight in years, like the entire castle did. But she liked it. It reminded her of one back home that she and her mother had loved to lounge in to read. So she'd put it in the spot the wheel had vacated without a second thought then opened the curtains hoping a bit of sunlight might help. She'd finally figured out that she could clean the thing by hitting it hard enough to make the dust rise and blowing it away before it settled again. She was proud of herself...until he'd come downstairs, shielded his eyes, and sneered.
"What did you do?!" he'd snapped. It was a good thing she'd had her back turned because her jaw had automatically clenched together in frustration and she'd rolled her eyes. Why had he wanted a caretaker if he wasn't going to let her do her job?!
"Cleaned," she finally answered shortly, looking him dead in the eye, "what you told me to do."
"Why did you have to open the curtains?!" Her jaw had dropped. Did there need to be a reason to open the curtains?! Didn't he ever just open them to let the sun in?! He shook his head again when he saw she was speechless, but made no effort to pull them shut. He merely walked back over to his wheel and sat down. "This all goes back the way it was...tomorrow!" he'd yelled over his shoulder. "The curtains get closed, the wheel goes back to where I like it, and you'll have to find somewhere else to put that...thing!" he nodded toward the chaise.
She'd gone to bed upset. With him. With her situation. With everything! It hadn't been so bad when he'd locked her in this time, she was getting used to that, but as the darkness had claimed the cell and her mind had traveled back to her comfortable bed now left vacant, she couldn't focus on anything pleasant. All the negative thoughts, the sadistic actions, and demeaning situations weighed heavy as a thick blanket against her body but certainly didn't warm her like a blanket. She was cold, her dress smelled, the pitiful excuse for a bed and blankets were uncomfortable, and she couldn't find a way to sleep that didn't make her sore! She ached, her hands had sores on them, and despite being tired, absolutely exhausted, she just couldn't sleep!
No, it wasn't the evenings or the days that broke her, just the mornings, just like they had every other time this week. The light starting to brighten the small cell didn't give her any hope or reassurance, it only told her that she'd had yet another sleepless night and that was the last straw. Her nerves were on fire, she was tired, she was upset, and more than anything she wanted to go home.
She had done this to be brave, to be a hero just like her mother, but yet again she found herself breaking down into gut wrenching sobs that echoed against the walls and in her ears multiplying her sorrow tenfold. For the millionth time she asked herself if brave men dying on the battlefields cried. Did princes preparing to storm a castle for their true loves cry? Did mothers that sacrificed everything for the good of their children cry? Did a Princess that willingly gave up everything for her kingdom cry? Well, she knew the answer to the last one. She couldn't control it, and she wouldn't have even if she could. What did he care if she slept? What did he care if she was uncomfortable and wanted to go home?
He didn't care.
As long as he got his tea, the castle cleaned, his laundry done, his life the way he wanted it, then he had no care for her in the end. She clenched the pathetic rag of a blanket between her fingers, crying into it, pretending that it was one of the rich blankets she had been used to in her father's palace. But no comfort came. She didn't have the energy to pretend anymore. She didn't have the energy for anything anymore. And she really didn't know how much longer she could go on like this. She was going to die here. She just knew it. One day he was going to come release her for her morning chores and she would just be dead, from sleepless nights, exhaustion, and sadness. Death was the only hope for escape from this wretched prison. She was sure of it.
From behind her she heard a heavy squeak, and turned around to find him coming through the door. It was odd. Usually he flipped open the lock letting the door creak open, her warning that it was time for her day to begin. But this was different, he'd never actually come into her prison before. "When you so eagerly agreed to come and work for me..." she rolled off of her small bed. She wouldn't face him like this, with tears in her eyes and desperation on her face. No, the beast was her captor, and she would never face him with anything less than a straight back and a face of personal pride. She was a princess, and she hadn't been enslaved, she'd willingly volunteered. She could face anything he would throw at her, no matter what the cost, so long as he didn't undo the deal that her being there satisfied...assuming he'd upheld that deal. "I assumed you wouldn't miss your family quite so much," he commented in an annoyed tone.
It didn't make her feel guilty, it made her angry. Of course he would figure that! When she first arrived she had tried to make the best of her terrible situation. She believed he might not actually be as bad as she thought. But as lack of sleep slowly started to cloud her judgment, or maybe clear it, she knew that she had been wrong. He was a monster. What would he know about family and the love parents could have for their only child? Or the love a royal could have for her Kingdom? Monsters were incapable of love or affection. He assumed everything, but knew nothing. Her father was right-ogres were not men.
"I made my sacrifice for them, of course I miss them, you beast!" she shouted at the horrific creature. She couldn't hold in her anger or control her tongue. The agreement was that she would be here and look after his home, it never specified that she had to be respectful. If she was going to die here then she would make sure he knew exactly what she thought of him. She would hope that he lost just as much sleep over it as she did.
"Yes, yes, of course" he mumbled, her words clearly having no effect on him. "But the crying must stop," he insisted. She couldn't help but glare at him and his lack of emotion, "Night after night!" he accused throwing his arms in the air in a ridiculous flamboyant gesture. "It's making it very difficult for me to spin! I do my best thinking then!" he informed her. She could feel the look of confusion and disgust on her face. Oh, was he uncomfortable?! Was he also being held captive in a small dark cell?! His selfishness was outstanding!
She glanced away from him, furrowing her brow with a rage she could barely keep in control. She couldn't feel sorry if he felt like she had interrupted his life, made it difficult. In case the selfish dealmaker hadn't noticed, she wasn't exactly walking through a field of flowers and sunshine trapped down here every night either. And he should try doing his best thinking when sleep eluded him for as long as it had her! If he even slept at all! He'd certainly been up early enough to hear her tears, did monsters need sleep?
Suddenly a poof of purple in the corner of her eye caught her attention. She feared he'd been about to use magic to conjure something cruel, but sitting upon his hand suddenly was a luxurious white pillow, tassels hanging down from the corners. "Perhaps this'll help?" he asked offering it to her.
"For me?" she questioned, confused by the sudden seemingly kind act. She knew that she shouldn't take it. Nothing good would ever come from anything this creature did or said. But she was tired, and her body felt like it could give out from under her at any moment if she didn't get any sleep soon. It was like offering a piece of poisoned bread to a starving man. But then he didn't exactly give her a choice as he threw the object at her, forcing her to catch it before it could slam into her weakened form.
"Not quite so beastly now am I?" he scowled at her as he walked back toward the door.
She couldn't help but roll her eyes at him. Actually, if he didn't want to be a beast he would have given her a decent room. Even the lowliest of servants got actual rooms and not prison cells in her father's palace. But still, at least it would be better than sleeping on her arm and waking up to the numbness every hour or so. "Thank you!" she called after him, not allowing herself to feel any kind of gratitude. "Perhaps now I can actually get some sleep" she said with spite dripping from every syllable. She didn't care if he felt bad about the way that he'd been treating her. He should.
"No, no, no" he waved at her, grabbing her attention away from the pillow she was setting on her bed. "It's not to help you sleep," he corrected "it's to muffle the crying so that I can get back to work!"
For a moment she thought she might actually lash out. She could feel the tears coming on as she was about to scream at him that no one should ever treat another human being like this. She hoped that she had never treated any of her servants so harshly and inhumanely. Wondering if she'd ever behaved so horribly would haunt her for her entire life. She sneered at the person before her. Would it upset him if she only ever thought of him in such an evil way? She didn't care. She would shout it from the mountain tops with her last dying breath. He was evil, a demon, and she would never see him as anything more than the beast that he was.
But before she could tell him, something caught his attention and drew it away from her. It was then that she heard what had startled him. It was a noise. Someone was in the castle and from the way he darted out of her "room" it wasn't exactly an expected guest.
So, one of the things that I do with this series is try to keep everyone in character as I possibly can which means studying their personality and pathology and one of the things that I feel like I've noticed with Belle is that she doesn't do stress well and, to me at least, she really seems to suffer from depression. More often than never stress seems to grab her and pull her into a downward spiral which means that for her things seem to get worse before she shakes it off and everything gets better. That's what I really wanted to show in this chapter. She's a princess that has just been turned into a maid and is sleeping in a dungeon of course it's going to be terrible at first and her body is going to ache and hurt and she's going to get muscles she didn't know she had and sores from the works she's doing that she's never done before. But when the newness of it all passes and she is determined to find goodness in her situation and make it better instead of letting it get worse, things will turn around for her, she just has to get through this little bout of sadness first.
Thank you Alarda, Magicklibra, Skitzoeinhoven, and BreathingintheSun for your awesome reviews! The chipped tea cup is always a favorite scene for so many people and I had such a good time writing it, as I do for all of this series! I'm glad you are enjoying it! As always Peace and Happy Reading!
