Disclaimer: I don't own twlight that honour belongs to Stephanie Meyer.

sorry that it took so long to update, I was busy with my finals...sorry

enjoy it and thanks for the reviews.


Guilt and something beautiful

BPOV

It was weird sitting in the car wit a girl I've barely known for two days. But it was more of a good weird than a bad weird.

I smiled to myself; it was comfortable sitting here with Alice.

I glanced over to her and my eyes fell to the speedometer. She was close to 140m/ph. My heart started beating faster and my hands and my underarms started to sweat. I was in full panic mode.

"Alice! Don't you think that you're going a bit too fast?" I squeaked.

She smiled and started laughing but when she looked over at me, she abruptly stopped.

"Bella!" she gasped. "You're as pale as a ghost!"

I couldn't talk; my mouth had gone completely dry. The last time I was in a car that was going fast I nearly died.

Well, it was more a motorcycle than a car but still, the fact remains I nearly died.

I cleared my throat and wet my mouth, "I have had bad experiences with fast things!"

I watched as the speedometer fell to about 90m/ph.

"Better?"

I just nodded my head. I was too afraid to speak.

"Look, why don't we grab a bite to eat before we go shopping. Just so that I can see some colour on your face again! I was going to do it the other way around but…" she trailed off.

All could muster was a thanks Alice.

The rest of the trip was quiet, well quiet on my part. Alice just couldn't shut up.

My mind was preoccupied with thinking about Edward. The way he smiled a crooked smile at me when he said hello.

Thinking about Edward had me feeling guilty about Jacob which then had me feeling guilty over not paying attention to Alice.

So, I mentally shook my head to cleat it of any thoughts or guiltiness. I squared my shoulders, as if I was preparing for battle, and concentrated on what the fuck Alice was talking about.

Dresses no wait shoes, no handbags…no….Italy….no….Jasper. I gave up, I just couldn't keep up. So instead I just nodded when the moment called for it.

Losing concentration had me thinking all over again about Edward.

How good his ass looked in those jeans when he put his bag in the back of his car. I blushed at that thought.

I hadn't blushed that hard since the first time I met Jacob.

Alice turned her head towards me and smiled a questioning smile.

"What's got you blushing so much?" begging me with her eyes to answer her.

I felt the heat retreat form my cheeks. I turned my face away from her trying to cover the shock on my face.

I couldn't tell Alice that I think that I had lustful feeling for Edward.

Alice would never judge, I know that, but the thing is I had a fucking boyfriend who I loved with all my heart. It is just that I don't know what to make of the whole situation!

Alice cleared her throat and looked at me with her one eyebrow raised, as if to say I'm waiting.

I searched in my mind what would be plausible enough to make me blush. Which was a lot, a small; chuckle passed my lips barely audible.

"Well…" I shifted uncomfortably in the car seat, feeling slightly claustrophobic with my seat belt on. "um…" my search engine working in overdrive trying to find something….I scrunched up my face and thought…ha! Got it! "Well…um…I was just thinking about last night …with…um…Jacob"

Her eyes lit up, I knew that she had automatically jumped to the first conclusion. Sex! It made me blush all over again.

"Looking at that blush on your cheeks. I would say that my thoughts were correct!" she smiled coyly at me.

"So hoe was it, you know give me the details. I know we've only known each other for two days but I feel like I've known you forever."

Alice was right; it did feel like I've known her forever. It was comfortable. Like the sister I never had.

"No, Alice nothing happened! Get your mind out of the gutter" I laughed.

At first she looked disappointed, which made me laugh again, and then she looked confused. Her eyebrows were knitted together so much that they nearly looked like one.

"But, you were blushing!" she stated.

"Duh Alice! I blush majority of the time.

She tilted her head back and laughed.

"I'm glad you find it amusing because I certainly don't! Fuck it Alice!" I said, feeling the anger building up inside of me. Fuck those damn tears; I turned my head to the side to wipe them away.

I felt vulnerable when I cried; no-one has seen me properly cried before, not even in front of my mom.

Alice laughed one more time, coughed a few times and stopped. She must have seen the expression on my face.

The rest of the ride to Port Angeles was very quiet. Not even Alice was speaking, but Alice was bursting to talk to me it was obvious by the way she kept bouncing in her seat and glancing at me now and then.

I wanted to apologise but the stubbornness in me resisted. So unfortunately I was left alone to my thoughts. This wasn't a good thing.

When we arrived in Port Angeles I was yet again on the verge of tears. I was so pissed off at myself for not talking to Alice and thinking about fucking Edward.

I should be focusing on where my boyfriend was.

We stopped in front of a cute little restaurant and got out.

A hostess took us to our seats. I think her name was Angela or something. A shy girl.

"Ok Bella! I can't take it anymore. Please just talk to me. I don't want this to ruin an amazing shopping experience and –"

She was cut off by some model-type blonde, who had my brother's arm around her. I didn't know who to feel sorrier for.

"Hey Ali, would you please tell your mom I'm gonna be home late. Thanks."

She turned towards Emmett but before doing that she gave me an awful sneer, What the Fuck did I do to her? Fucking BITCH! I wonder what got her panties in a twist!

When my brother could draw his attention away form Slut Mcblonde he started talking to me.

"Isabella, does dad even know that you're here?"

It's as if Emmett lives to annoy me. The typical fucking older brother routine. It's as if he is incapable of calling me Bella like everybody else!

"What's it to you Emmett? Can't you fucking leave me alone! I have a fucking life, Emmett." the next thing I said I said spitefully, "and you know what Emmett I manage to go home with the same person every night, unlike you"

I indicated Blondie and turned back to Alice trying to forget the fact that I just acted like a bitch.

Alice's eyes grew wide so I turned around to see Emmett's face go red with anger and him lunging towards me. I swear it looked like he was going to hit me. Fun loving Emmett. But before he could do anything Blondie spoke for him.

"Just so you know, BELLA," she overpronouced my name, "your brother no longer leaves with a different girl every night, this is the second time we've gone out" she told me by gripping, my brother's hand tightly.

Before they stormed off I learned the reason why Blondie gave me such an evil sneer.

"Oh and BELLA, your brother was just checking on you. He cut his date short to just check on YOU! Because he cares for you, unlike you!" she said harshly.

With that said she left, tugging Emmett along.

If it were possible to feel any more crap about myself Blondie just helped me feel like it.

Alice cleared her throat and said, "Just ignore Rose, she's had it tough. Her parents died. She sensitive when it comes to family matters."

I nodded my head and realised that I wanted to get out of that restaurant as fast as possible.

"You know what Alice. I'm not that hungry and feel a lot better thanks. Let's just go shopping."

Alice's whole face lit up. She looked like a small child let loose in a toy store. Just absolute pure joy was on her face.

Internally I was groaning but externally I was smiling for Alice's sake, I kinda owed her.

Alice bounced out of her chair and was already dragging me to the door.

"Bella this is going to be so much fun, you'll see. "She beamed at me. "You don't know what you've been missing all this time."

We reached the first store and guess what it was a designer store.

My eyebrows shot up and I think my mouth was hanging open.

"Alice, I can't afford designer clothes." I said embarrassingly.

"I know Bella!" she said from where she was rifting through the clothes rack.

"Huh?"

I was a little confused, what was I doing her again?

But before I could even ask Alice, she was already by my side ushering me out to find the next store.

"Alice how is it possible for anybody to shop so quickly?"

She just shrugged her shoulders and said, "I just know what I want, and that's all!"

If the rest of this 'shopping experience' was going to go this quickly I would diffidently enjoy it.

I thought to soon because my joy was short lived. The moment we stepped into the next store Alice pushed me into the changing area and dumped a pile of clothes on me.

My shoulders slumped and I fell own to the floor. What have I done to deserve this torture?

My moment of self pity was also short lived because Alice was knocking on my door giving me strict instructions to try on all those clothes and the ones that she was giving me to try on now.

I felt like crying but unfortunately my tear ducts had decided that now was the moment that they would run dry. Great!

I stepped outside and slowly walked to the front where Alice was waiting for me to spin around for her, so that she can get every angle. Yeah right! Torture!

After about the umpteenth store and the thousandth time so made me spin around I asked her," Alice is this torture over yet?"

She smiled an evil smile and just shook her head.

I cast my head downwards. I sighed deeply.

Shopping really wasn't my thing. But with Alice it was somewhat amusing if you weren't the victim AKA me.

We stepped outside and realised that it was dark. I started t panic; my heart was beating faster and faster.

"Alice my dad's gonna flip if I don't get home soon!"

That was a lie; Charlie was calm and lenient when it came to curfew.

I was just tired and sore from carrying all these bags. Who knew that clothes could be this fucking heavy?

Alice just carried on walking as if she didn't hear me. She didn't look tired at all and she was carrying a lot more bags than me. I swear this girl could be a vampire.

"Alice did you hear me?" I yelled.

Alice just crossed the street and waited patiently for me to do the same.

When I finally arrived, slouching and feeling like the hunch back of Notre Dam. Did she answer me?

"Yes I heard you Bella. It's already been settled. I spoke to Charlie while you were inside a book store.

What! Charlie? Where did she even get his number? What's been settled? My heart beat was starting to race; my eyebrows were so high up that you could almost confuse it with the beginning of my hair line.

"Chill-lax Bella. What I meant to say was that you are staying over at my house." She brightened up when she said that.

"But Alice, I don't even have any clothes with me."

"That too Bella has already been sorted." She smiled wickedly and danced off towards her car.

I just nodded. I was too tired to argue. And too tired to even think clearly.

When I reached her car, I dumped the bags in the back and climbed on.

Alice was already waiting in the car. The second I was in she started the engine and was off to her house.

It wasn't long before a dozed off and started dreaming.

Jake and I were in the back of my truck. Just lying in each other's arms. When all of a sudden my vision was obscured by something.

I squinted to try and see who but it was as if an eclipse had just taken place.

The person came closer and my heart rate picked up when I noticed who it was. It as Edward.

I turned to look at Jacob, to somehow explain why Edward was there but Jacob wasn't there anymore and strangely enough I felt safe with Edward there.

Edward moved closer towards me, as if he was going to kiss me. I felt my cheeks turning blood red and I smiled.

Edward came closer and closer and…

I started awake. The first thing I saw were the most beautifulness pair of green eyes I've ever seen. They seemed to have been looking into my soul.

My breathe was caught in my throat as I took in the rest of the fixtures. It was Edward.


I hope you enjoyed it and yeah I know i always end it in a cliff hanger but I got to be wanting more...hahaha

Please read and review please, i really enjoy reading reviews even if it is one or two. ;)

love ya

Jo-Anne

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