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Sorry I should've done warnings in the other chapters, I'm going to start now though.

VERY GRAPHIC VIOLENCE IN THIS CHAPTER NOT SUITABLE FOR SOME READERS PLEASE BE A RESPONSIBLE READER

GRAPHIC DEPICTIONS OF CHILD ABUSE NOT SUITABLE FOR SOME READERS READ AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION

As I'm unlocking my car a familiar face appears in the in the reflection of my car window. Her tread is silent, had I not seen her before she spoke she probably would've scared the shit out of me. But if the military taught me anything it was attention to detail and how not to get snuck up on and killed.

"Leaving without saying goodbye again are you Mellark?" She says in the voice that's held me captive for the majority of my knowing life.

I turn to face Katniss, she's dressed in what I assume is her work attire, a white button up dress short with a red bow-tie and shorts so tight and short they could almost pass for panties. I wonder how I didn't notice this the other night. I guess I was just so caught up in my own self loathing I missed it.

"Well you didn't seem to happy after our last conversation so I figured I'd just get out of your hair and let you finish the evening in peace." I reply, to which she looks genuinely confused for a moment before understanding dawns on her features.

"Oh, no, not that..well yeah I guess that time too, but I meant when you left for boot camp. It was like I saw you at graduation then a month later everyone said you we're already gone." she tells me, her face blushing slightly, though I can't pinpoint why.

I'm not really sure how to respond, the old Peeta would have probably apologized profusely and begged for a chance to make it up to her, but new Peeta wants to tell her if she hadn't been so far up Hawthornes ass it might not have taken her a month to notice I was gone. I try for middle ground with "Um, sorry, I didn't know you'd even notice I was gone. I mean its not like we were friends or really even knew each other for that matter." Something akin to hurt flashes across her face but she recovers quickly with "Yeah I guess your right. So how'd you like the house? Pretty nice right?"

"It's great." I tell her "Much nicer than what I was expecting for the price actually, I'm moving in this weekend."

"Awesome, so I guess we're going to be neighbors then, I live right over there." She says pointing to a house across the street and 2 down. "It's not quite as nice as Finns', but it's home, I like it."

"Cool, it'll be nice to have a few familiar faces in the neighborhood." I tell her, I fiddle with my keys for a moment trying to think of something to say to fill the silence that seems far longer than the few seconds it's been in reality. Thankfully she spares me "Well, I was just about to go to work so I guess I'll see you later." "Yeah, later." I respond turning to get in my car, just as I'm about to shut my door I hear her shout "Oh and Peeta, I'm still holding you to that date!" I give her a small smile and a wave before shutting my door and heading home.

It kinda pisses me off that she is so adamant about this damn date happening now but she conveniently forgot about when tall, dark and asshole showed up. I'd consider telling her to fuck off if it wasn't for the fact that I'm still completely smitten with her. A fact that kinda pisses me off, you'd think after a Mother like mine, a handful of loose women and a war I'd be able to get over a stupid fucking crush. Maybe it's just that this crush is the only thing left in my life that's still innocent and untainted, I never had the opportunity to screw it up like I have everything else. I drive 5mph under the speed limit the entire way home, which is unlike me me in the fact that I generally have a lead foot. The idea of Mother waiting up just to torture me some more is not at all appealing. At least she's mellowed out some since I got bigger than her.

When I was little she would beat the shit out of me and leave me locked in the basement all weekend, always careful to land her blows away from my face so the school wouldn't get suspicious. The Mellarks home life has got to be one of the best kept secrets in the country. When I was younger the idea of telling was terrifying, all I could think was 'what if she finds out it was me?' As I got older I just tried to avoid her as much as possible, sports and girls helped with that. The summer was the worst, sometimes she'd leave all 3 of us boys locked in the basement for an entire week, after the first time we got to where we would stash food and water down there in our "out time" just so we didn't starve. Pheonix told me once that she hadn't always been so cruel, that there was a time when she was a normal human being, but I can't remember any such time so I tried not to dwell on what could have been.

The only good thing that came from it, is the solidarity I have with my brothers, we tried so hard to protect each other, we just never could. Although I imagine there is a much more effective method to bringing unity among brothers. I promised myself years ago if I ever had children I would never let anyone hurt them, ever. Including their mother. I spent the weekend at Pheonixs' for his 21st birthday, he lives about 3 hours away, we ended up getting wasted and he cried for over 2 hours repeating "I should've just taken you Peet, you and Pacer both, I should've just taken you, I'm so sorry!" He couldn't have of course, and I knew that, he got out on a scholarship and the dorms wouldn't have allowed 2 younger siblings hanging around the dorm all day long. I never held it against him, I never even considered the thought actually.

I pull into the driveway much sooner than I would like, never seemed like a great time to me, but I can't avoid the place forever I suppose. It's just before 8 when I walk through the door and immediately wished I hadn't. Maybe I can just creep back out and go to a bar until I pass out, alas I know it's too late when I hear the shit storm directed at me "And where the fuck have you been? You think you can just walk out of the cafe whenever you damn well please and leave your Father to do the closing alone?" My Father quietly says "Maureen it's fine I had it under control." Which of course just pisses her off more, "Shut the fuck up you coward, I'm talking to your lazy prick of a son!" I take a deep breath and square my shoulders before replying as calmly as I can "I went to look at a room for rent, I'm moving in this weekend." Apparently that isn't what she was expecting to hear as her face goes blank for a moment, I almost think that she's just going to leave it at that, but of course not. "What, our house isn't good enough for you anymore hot shot? Too ungrateful to appreciate the free rent, free housekeeping, free meals?" I scoff before attempting to walk past her to the stairs, as I get just past her she grabs my arm jerking it just right so I either have to turn and face her or fall due to my un-leg. As soon as I am facing her she reaches over and back hands me with her costume jewelry encrusted hand, then before I even realize what I'm doing I have her by the throat my face so close to hers I can smell the whiskey on her breath. Through my grinding teeth I manage "Don't. Ever. Fucking. Touch. Me." I can see the fear in her face, can feel her pulse under my hand, it's at that point I seem to get a hold of myself and let go. I stalk up the stairs and lock myself in the bathroom, I don't know what just happened, I'm not that person, I'm not violent. But it was me, I did that, I almost strangled my own Mother, the thought sends me to the toilet vomiting violently until it's just gagging.

As I shower I decide I need to take up the offer of therapy from the doctors at the VA hospital. That is if she doesn't have me arrested before I get the chance. I fall asleep without taking my prazosin and end up locked in nightmares full of dark basements and my brothers sobs.