A/N—Reminder that I don't own these characters and all credit goes to the creators of Big Time Rush.
Also thank you so much to those who have reviewed this to let me know you're enjoying it! :)
Working with Gustavo was even worse than Kendall had anticipated. The first few hours of his rehearsal session were fine; Kelly had him watch clips of the television show so that he got an idea what he was in for and how to win, then she presented him with a bunch of paperwork to sign. Once that was cleared away, the producer made his presence known and explained that he expected Kendall to win. He would, in fact, accept no other outcome. Kendall honestly wasn't all that concerned with winning, which would have surprised him had someone pointed it out; in the past, winning was what he cared about most. Now it was only the desire to rub Diamond's face in it each week, in the fact that he had stolen the opportunity from Diamond and was getting to live his dream. Maybe because Gustavo sensed the lack of determination in Kendall, he yelled louder and berated Kendall's vocals when they began to actually rehearse.
He arrived at the hotel that evening with his throat aching, exhausted even though he hadn't moved much physically. Standing for so many hours had also fatigued his knee. Noting the time, he detoured to the room near the gym and was relieved to find Logan at his usual table, once again lost in the sight of Carlos at work in the ring.
"Hey," he greeted his new friend, collapsing into a chair.
"Hey," Logan answered absently. "Long day?"
"You have no idea. Are you gonna drink that other bottle of water?"
"It's an extra, go for it."
Logan still hadn't turned his gaze from the ring, but Kendall took no offense to that and reached out to unscrew the cap before guzzling down half the bottle. "Oh my god, my throat hurts."
"So Carlos was right? He's tough?"
"He's borderline abusive. Why am I doing this again?"
Finally tearing his gaze away, Logan stared at Kendall. "I was wondering the same thing. Why are you?"
"Long story. Let's just say it's given me a purpose again."
"You lost that after the injury?"
"Yeah. I spent months thinking my life was over. I'm still not sure it isn't."
"Hey, don't say that. There's always more to look forward to, even if you can't see it yet."
"You sound like my mom."
"Well, it's true," Logan said in a slightly defensive tone. "I mean, I spent my first month here thinking I'd go crazy and wondering why I was putting myself through the torture. Then Carlos showed up and I knew why I was here, that it was so I could see him and experience desire and feelings for the first time. Even if I didn't expect to ever get anywhere with it."
"So it isn't just research that gets you hot?" Kendall teased.
"Research and Carlos, apparently," Logan shrugged. "There's a reason you're here, too, Kendall. A reason all of it happened—the injury, the television show...maybe you're about to meet your future soulmate, too."
"That would be nice," Kendall sighed. "I was thinking about it last night, wondering who it might be. I need to meet more of the guests. But not tonight, I'm too tired."
"Go get some dinner and sleep," Logan urged. "You look beat."
"Okay." Kendall stood up, glancing over at the ring as they both watched Carlos in silence for about a minute. "He really does have some good moves."
"He's amazing. See what I mean, though? How graceful he is and how great he is at the timing? He's going to be incredible once the season starts and he gets to show what he can do."
Kendall nodded slowly. "So you got my text, right? The second hairstyle, that's what you're going with for your date?"
"Yeah. I'm nervous, what if he hates it?"
"He won't."
"He texted me today," Logan smiled. "Just to say hi and ask how my day was, but it was the highlight of my life."
"Even better than the cheek kiss?"
"Okay, a close second." Logan handed Kendall the bottle he'd started on. "Here, keep the water. I've got more."
"Thanks, bro. Tell him I said hi."
"I will. Night!"
"Goodnight," Kendall managed, exhaustion taking its toll now that he'd relaxed for more than two minutes.
"Oh hey, I almost forgot!"
Halfway through the door, Kendall spun back. "What?"
"I'm starting to think maybe you're not crazy. Lucy asked me about you today."
That woke him up. "Seriously?"
"Yeah, she wanted to know what apartment you're in. Claimed she wanted to pay you back the money because she 'refuses to be indebted to a man.' I could tell that wasn't the real reason, but since I wasn't sure if she was actually interested or if she might be planning to bomb your apartment, I told her it's against the rules to divulge that information."
"Interesting," Kendall mused. "Did she get mad?"
"Raging. Threatened to ram her bike into the front desk this time. Just watch your back, buddy. She either wants to kiss you or strangle you."
"Let's hope it's the first choice," he chuckled. "Thanks. Anything new about my competition?"
"Oh, yeah, he called today. It was during my lunch break, so my uncle talked to him. All I know is that he insisted on a full-length mirror in the apartment. Hawk's paying for it, so we're having that installed tomorrow morning. Sounds like a diva."
"I hate him already. I am curious, though. It's always good to know your enemy and his weaknesses. Let me know what he's like after you check him in tomorrow."
"If I have time before my date, I will."
"Right. I'll be in the studio but text me if you need to, okay?"
"Thanks. Get some sleep, Kendall."
"On it. Later."
Kendall left Logan staring at Carlos with that dreamy look on his face again, too tired to care much about his competition or even Lucy. Would every day be like this, him suffering abuse before coming home to crash like the dead? What kind of life was that?
Maybe you're about to meet your future soulmate, too.
Logan's words gave him a tiny bit of hope. It was true, you never knew what was around the corner. After all, his new life had just begun.
To Kendall's utter amazement, he was released from rehearsal early the following day due to meetings Gustavo had to attend with the show's producers. He called Logan immediately, Logan relieved and begging Kendall to come help him pick out an outfit for the date and to "just get here and calm me down." Kendall wasted no time and rushed up to the double apartment Logan shared with his uncle.
"Will I get you in trouble by being here?" was the first thing he asked.
"My uncle's downstairs manning the desk, it's fine. He won't even know you were here. Just..." Hardly knowing what to do with his hands, Logan was a bundle of nervous energy. "Carlos will be here in twenty minutes, help!"
"Okay, relax. Your hair came out great."
"Yeah? It's not too...you know. Trendy?"
"It's fine, it suits you. Got a little body to it but you still manage to retain the straight-laced, professional look."
"Thanks," Logan sighed, forcing himself to take deep breaths. "I almost called him three times to cancel on him."
"You're not canceling anything. It's gonna be magical, and he's going to kiss you goodnight, and you're going to let him."
"I really want that," Logan breathed, biting his lip hard.
"I know you do. Let's go look at your clothes."
Fifteen minutes later, Logan was studying his reflection in the bathroom mirror. "I can hardly believe it's me. I look like..."
"A normal teenager?"
"Yeah, but...also like me. What if I screw the whole thing up and he hates me?"
"Just be yourself, dude. I promise, you're amazing."
"I hope he thinks so."
"He does, which is why he asked you out. If he makes you uncomfortable or pressures you into anything, call me right away. I'll find a way to rescue you."
"Thanks," Logan smiled, turning away from the mirror to face Kendall. "You really are a knight."
Kendall shrugged. "I care about people." A knock on the front door made them both jump.
"Oh my god," Logan moaned, his cheeks paling.
"This is it. You got this, Logan. Go get your wallet and keys, take a moment to compose yourself. I'll get the door."
Logan nodded and moved out of the bathroom while Kendall went to greet Carlos. The moment the door was opened, a bouquet of crimson roses was shoved into his face. "Carlos, this is so sudden," he joked.
The flowers moved aside to reveal wide eyes. "I thought you were Logan."
"Obviously. The flowers are a nice touch."
"Yeah? Not too much?"
"He'll love it. Come on in, he's almost ready."
Sensing that Carlos was just as anxious as Logan, Kendall laid a hand on his shoulder after closing the front door. "He's really excited but also extremely nervous," he imparted quietly. "Go easy on him. It's his first date."
"I figured. How do I look?"
"Very handsome. He'll be drooling in ten seconds, though he'll never show that. Dinner and a movie?"
"Yeah. Maybe a walk in the park after, if it isn't too late. I've daydreamed so many times about holding his hand and walking through that stupid park."
"Do it," Kendall smiled.
"Did you find a girl yet, Kendall?"
"No. Still working on it."
"Maybe we can double when you do."
"I'd like that." Knowing that Logan was stalling, Kendall called out, "Come on, dude, you don't want to miss the movie!"
It was another five seconds before Logan appeared, hands shoved into the pockets of his black jeans. "Hey."
"Wow," Carlos whispered in awe. "You look incredible."
Logan blinked a few times, face flaming, then seemed to regain control. "Thanks. So do you. Is that...are those for me?"
"Oh! Yeah! Sorry!" Carlos rushed across the room to Logan, thrusting the bouquet forward. "I've never been on a date with a guy before and I didn't know what to bring, but I thought maybe you'd like flowers anyway."
"I do," Logan smiled, touched and pulling the flowers close enough to sniff at them. "They're beautiful. I didn't get you anything, though."
"That's fine, you going out with me is enough. I won't keep you out too late, in case your uncle is worried about that."
"I'm an adult, and he doesn't know where I'm going anyway. Unfortunately, Carlos, he can't know about this. I'm not supposed to see the residents outside of work."
"Oh. So you mean you're breaking the rules for me?"
Logan nodded hesitantly, unsure how Carlos might react to that.
"That's so hot," Carlos grinned, stepping closer to Logan. Watching closely, Kendall noted the change in Logan's eyes, and though he'd expected Logan to be afraid, what Logan was feeling at the moment was a far cry from fear; it wouldn't be Carlos initiating physical contact tonight.
"Let me take those for you," he offered in an attempt to break Logan out of his spell long enough for the two of them to get on their way. "I'll put them in water and you can hide them in your room."
Logan only nodded, allowing Kendall to take the bouquet and still not looking away from Carlos.
"You two should get going."
"Right," Carlos breathed, licking his lips and tearing his gaze away with an effort. "See you later, Kendall."
"Goodnight, guys. Call me if you need anything," he reminded Logan.
"I will."
They were almost out the door when Carlos called back, "Oh, Kendall, I almost forgot. I saw your competition earlier. He's really hot." Though Logan raised an eyebrow at Carlos, he held his silence. Carlos felt the jealousy anyway and added, "Come on, Logan, he's not my type at all, but you have to admit he's hot."
"He is pleasant to look at," Logan conceded. "I just can't take him seriously, though. Full-length mirror? Dotting his I's with a diamond? Who does that?"
Kendall felt the ground shift under his feet. "What did you say?"
"He does what?" Carlos laughed. "Why?"
"His last name's Diamond, I guess he thinks it's cool," Logan replied with a roll of his eyes. "It just makes him look pompous. Uncle Reg gushed over him like he did Kendall; it was honestly a nightmare."
A nearby sofa provided Kendall safety when his knees failed him. Perched on the arm of it, he asked shakily, "James Diamond?"
"Yes," Logan nodded. "You've heard of him?"
"He's the reason I'm here." Kendall inhaled sharply, attempting to chase away the dizziness descending. "It's his fault I can't play hockey anymore."
"Oh. The injury? He caused it?"
Kendall couldn't do more than nod.
"Whoa. And now you're up against him again. I wonder if he knows you're here."
"He knows," Kendall growled. "Motherfucker. Can't accept defeat, can he?"
"Guess you'll just have to win this," Carlos stated. "I don't know the story, but uh...if he followed you all the way here to knock you down again, make sure it doesn't happen."
"Oh, it's not. James Diamond is going down."
Here they were again, words that Kendall had spoken repeatedly for much of his life. They were familiar, they were motivation, and they were right. Suddenly the contest had more meaning for him and the need to win was tantamount to everything else. It was fortunate that Kendall was wearing a long shirt, because with the words came the erection that always accompanied them.
Kendall's fire was back and raging harder than ever.
He returned to 2J in a daze, because after saying goodbye to Logan and Carlos, the impossibility of the situation hit him. He'd won. There was no question of that, he'd won and Diamond had failed. Diamond had, in fact, run away with his tail between his legs. So what had happened between then and now?
Hawk. Somehow he got Hawk to give him a chance. And because I wasn't there to make sure he failed, he succeeded. Fucking bastard.
Kendall ignored his mother's greeting and went straight to his room to brood, but after five minutes he couldn't remain still and had to know. James Diamond was walking around this place and he had to know how.
He could always go find James and ask him, but the idea made his stomach turn; the last person he wanted to see right now was Diamond.
Gustavo might have some answers. Kendall would bet Hawk was present at those meetings today, and the two probably discussed their contestants. Then again, recalling some rude things Gustavo had said about Hawk the day before, perhaps they hadn't talked at all—their rivalry seemed to be a long-standing one.
There was always Kelly, though. Kelly tended to have answers and delivered them in a non-threatening manner. Should he call her?
Kendall was saved the decision by the ringing of his phone, surprised to see it was Logan calling. Was he in trouble already? "Hey, everything okay?"
"Yeah, we just got to the restaurant. I was worried about you and wanted to make sure you're okay."
Kendall blinked slowly a few times, wondering if he was understanding Logan correctly. "Worried?"
"Well...you know. The news about that Diamond guy really knocked you for a loop, and I know it must be hard on you to see him again. Especially since you have to see him each week, and probably more considering you both live in the same building. I just...you know. I felt bad leaving you when you were so upset."
It was what Kendall thought, and the realization that he now had a friend who cared enough to check on him choked him up a bit. "I'm...kind of still in shock," he said honestly. "I don't understand how it happened. I went up against him at the audition, he bombed it and I kicked ass. How did he end up here?"
"Maybe Hawk held the same kind of audition after you left."
That made perfect sense, but Kendall knew that information would've been mentioned in the local paper he'd read if Hawk was also coming to Minnesota. Mind racing, he said, "I need access to a computer. No way I can use yours at the front desk, is there?"
"Absolutely not, especially since I'm gone. What? Yeah, go ahead, I'll be right there. He's okay."
Kendall smiled when he realized Carlos had asked about him. "I'm sorry, I don't mean to interrupt your date. We can talk later."
"No, it's fine, we were just waiting to be seated anyway. He's the one who told me to call you because he could tell I was worried. But I was about to say that you can use the computer in the lobby. It's free to guests and has Internet access. Doesn't your phone do all that?"
Rolling his eyes, Kendall answered, "Mom got us a cheap plan that restricts the web. It's a pain in the ass. But really, there's one in the lobby I can use?"
"Yes. Guests are limited to twenty minutes at a time, so if someone's on it you can just wait."
"Twenty minutes is all I need. Thanks, buddy. Let me know how the date goes."
"Oh, I will." Logan's voice suddenly became hushed. "Did you see how good he looks?"
"I did," Kendall chuckled. "Go get him, tiger."
"I almost kissed him before we left. Me! Okay okay, he's waiting for me at the table, so I'm gonna go. You're okay?"
"I'm fine, just...really surprised. I don't know how to process this. It ruins my entire plan."
"I don't see how, but we can discuss that later."
"Don't worry about it. Go kiss your date."
"Not right now, Kendall!" Logan replied, scandalized. "I don't want to seem too eager. Maybe when we get back to the car."
"Just do what feels right, and if at any point it doesn't, ask him to stop. If that doesn't work, knee him between the legs."
"Got it. Thanks, buddy."
"Anytime. Bye!"
Kendall hung up with a smile, thinking that at least Logan had done that for him. He'd never realized just how much he was missing out on by keeping people at a distance for most of his life. Remembering the way he'd ignored his mother on the way in, he found her in the kitchen preparing dinner and surprised her with a hug.
"Well, hi! What's that for?"
"Just because I love you. I'm sorry I was rude earlier, it's been a bad day."
"Was Gustavo that horrible?"
"No, he actually let me go early. I helped Logan get ready for his date with Carlos. They're really cute together, Mom."
Jennifer slapped his hand away as he reached for a pinch of shredded cheese. "We need that for the tacos."
He shrugged but backed off.
"How's your throat?"
"A little better today," Kendall admitted. "Where's Katie?"
"Where else? Out by the pool, no doubt conning people out of money. I don't know where I went wrong with that child," Jennifer sighed. "Now why is today a bad day?"
Hesitant to show the full extent of his vengeance toward Diamond, Kendall chose his words carefully. "My competition arrived today. It's James Diamond."
Her reaction made Kendall feel a little better about his own shock. She almost dropped the spatula she was holding as she turned to face him. "James? How is that possible? He lost to you!"
"That's what I said." Taking advantage of her momentary distraction, Kendall quickly snatched a handful of cheese and shoved it into his mouth. "How bad was he really, Mom?"
"Dreadful. I mean...that sounds so horrible, but he was probably the worst one there. Obviously nerves got to him. I just can't imagine how he managed to impress the other producer."
"That's what I want to know."
"Did you ask him?"
"No, I haven't seen him yet. I have no plans to talk to him."
After turning off the burner and moving the pan aside to allow herself time to form thoughts into words, Jennifer began, "I understand why you're angry at him. I'm sure you probably blame him for everything you lost and all that you've gone through."
Kendall said nothing, only remained rigidly standing next to her.
"But you know, honey, you two used to be so close. He was your best friend."
"We were kids, Mom. Barely even old enough to know what friendship meant."
"I know you started this big rivalry with him once we moved away, but...why not think about mending that friendship?"
He stared at his mother as if she had horns growing out of her head. "Mend the friendship?"
"Well, it's got to be scary for both of you, moving out here and having no friends and—"
"I have a friend. I don't know why in the hell you'd think I could ever be friends with Diamond again, especially not after what he did to me—"
"You don't know that it was him, why are you always so quick to see him as the enemy?"
"Because I do know it was him! He admitted it to me right before he went onstage at the audition! Why do you think he fucked up so bad? He didn't expect to see me there and when he did, he completely lost his shit."
"I won't have you speaking to me like that. I don't care that you're an adult now, I deserve respect."
"Fine, then stop trying to control my feelings. I can't help what I feel, okay? He ruined my life, he admitted to ruining my life, and you can't expect me to forgive him for that!"
Knowing that it was useless to attempt to reason with Kendall when he worked himself up like this, Jennifer dropped the subject. "Dinner will be ready in about fifteen minutes. Please go get your sister."
"Fine."
He stormed out of the apartment, making it all the way to the elevator before he felt bad about yelling at his mother. None of this was her fault. Once inside, he closed his eyes and banged his head lightly against the metal wall with a groan. As usual, James Diamond was ruining his life.
On the way to the pool, Kendall noticed the computer he'd overlooked each time he walked through the lobby. It was unoccupied, and he made a quick decision to spend a few minutes digging up the answers he needed. Finding the information he was looking for proved easy enough once he did a search for Hawk, and within five minutes Kendall knew how Diamond had landed the other spot.
It was exactly as Logan had suggested; Diamond had been selected at an audition held by Hawk two days after the one they'd both been to. The details were covered not in the local Minnesota paper, but in one devoted to Boston, of all places. James had flown to Boston for the last round of auditions and succeeded in winning Hawk's confidence.
Boston. He really wants this.
Kendall had known that, though; it was the reason he himself had been so determined to win.
Well, this really changed nothing, Kendall supposed. He'd considered himself the winner upon moving here, but the competition had shifted and now he knew it had only just begun. Kendall had no idea just what he was up against, having never witnessed Diamond singing. He knew better than to underestimate his enemy. "Guess I'll just have to win," Kendall murmured, repeating Carlos' words from earlier.
A sudden shove had him almost falling off the chair, only his sharp reflexes saving him. "What the hell?" he demanded, standing immediately to face his attacker, but there was no one behind him. Everyone in the lobby seemed to be unaware that anything had happened. He slowly turned his head from right to left, about to give up when a flash of black streaked with red caught his eye.
"Oh, you little bitch. You're not getting away with that."
The elevator door opened just as Kendall began to move toward her, and though it jarred his knee, he sprinted across the lobby to squeeze through the doors as they closed behind her. Kendall smiled when he saw they were alone. "I don't appreciate being shoved out of my chair," he stated.
"Excuse me?" As usual, her arms slid across her chest in a defensive pose while a black brow arched up to the sky.
"Don't play dumb. We both know that was you."
"What was me?"
"You tried to push me out of my chair."
A pitying laugh erupted from Lucy. "You think I noticed you? I don't even know where you came from."
"Nice try. You still want to pay me back that five bucks?"
"Who says I'm paying you back? I didn't ask you to do it, you're the idiot who wasted his money."
"Look, I already know you asked Logan which apartment I'm in so you could pay me back."
Her face morphed into disbelief that seemed genuine; Kendall knew better. "Asked...wait, who's Logan?"
"Bitters' nephew? My friend who works the front desk?"
"Oh, the mousy little shy boy who wouldn't give me a key?"
"He told me you wanted to know where I live."
"I did no such thing and if that's what he said, he's a liar. You should choose your friends better."
"Logan wouldn't lie. I think we both know who the untrustworthy one is."
"So then you're lying and just trying to get into my pants or what?"
"What?" Kendall echoed, mortified. "No! I would never, I have class, I'm not the type to—"
"That's too bad," Lucy interrupted, her voice taking on a seductive tone that Kendall didn't quite understand until he'd been backed up against the elevator door and trapped by her mouth on his. He gasped, his body not knowing how to react. Before it could decide, she'd stepped away. "Was that your first kiss?" she asked, delighted by the idea. "That's so cute!"
Kendall's lips moved but no words came out due to shock.
"Aww, now I embarrassed you. Come here."
Just like that her lips were on his again, and this time he was coherent enough to lift his hands up to push her away. Before he could do more than grip her upper arms, the elevator door slid open behind him and a gasp that could have been an echo of his own earlier one followed two seconds later.
"Get your hands off me!" Lucy screamed, shoving Kendall forcefully away so that he stumbled into whoever had been waiting in the hall.
"What?" he mumbled, off balance both physically and mentally. Strong arms caught his fall before releasing him and he spun to see the one person in the world he wished to run into the least. "Diamond."
"Next time I'll kick you where it counts, asshole!" Lucy threatened as she moved past them at a run, acting like she was escaping an attacker.
They watched her disappear down the hall and toward the door leading to the stairs, then Kendall asked in a bewildered voice, "What the hell just happened?"
Diamond glanced at him and slid both hands into the pocket of his white-washed jeans before responding. "Looks like you got shot down hard."
"I didn't...she..."
"Gotta say, I never expected you to be the type to force a girl into anything. You had manners when we were kids."
"No, I..." It hit Kendall then that he owed Diamond no explanation and didn't care at all what his former friend thought of him. Calm returning, Kendall took in Diamond's appearance with a casual glance, noting that he was dressed the way he tended to show up to hockey matches—a relaxed look of jeans and a t-shirt while still somehow looking like a fashion model. Maybe it was the designer sneakers, which looked brand new. His hair glowed under the hallway's soft lighting, mouth a grim line that spoke of judgment. "I don't have to explain myself to you."
"No, but if you keep that shit up, you'll be explaining yourself to a cop one day."
"James, no, I didn't..." Kendall gave up, knowing that no matter what he said, it wouldn't erase the vision Diamond must have walked into. "Forget it, I don't care what you think anyway. I should've known you'd show up here to try to ruin my life again."
Diamond was quiet for a moment before shrugging. "I just want to win."
"I know, but you're not going to."
"That's not your decision, is it, Knight?"
Kendall shook his head in disgust. "You're not even worth talking to. See you at our first battle."
Without another word, Kendall turned his back on Diamond and stalked away, only hampered a little by his sore knee and the aching erection hidden behind a flannel shirt. Who knew a mere kiss from an aggressive girl could affect him so deeply?
