The Light in the Darkness

Chapter IV

Garrison realized it was getting late, the sun was going down. Chief could find his way around the attic in the dark but he was likely to kill himself wandering around up their so he went for his flashlight. He just hoped that Chief remembered to cover the windows up there.

Carefully, Garrison made his way back to the hallway of the servants' rooms. There he found the staircase that led up to the attic area. The place was enormous and he called out, "Chief". There was no response but he knew that didn't mean Chief wasn't up there. It meant that Chief didn't want to be found or couldn't respond. Which way?, he asked himself. Then he thought, The east end so he could watch the sunrise. He carefully wound his way through the boxes, old furniture and stuff until his flashlight found the window. Even though there wasn't a sound he knew Chief was there and in trouble. Suddenly, the light found its target and Garrison's heart sank. There, spotlighted in the light, waiting for him was Chief, not moving, shirtless, around his neck the red rogue training collar, kneeling in the submission position of a G-CAT Guardian. In his outstretched hands was the open case containing the compliance drug and syringe ready for his Handler to use to inject him.

Garrison cursed himself for not looking for Chief as soon as he had begun to feel there was something wrong. He knew Chief hadn't catted but he was just as dangerously lost. For some reason once again G-CAT's training had taken hold of his Guardian's mind. He was lost in a world of pain and suffering and couldn't find his way out. G-CAT's training was unrelentingly cruel.

How to snap him out of it was always a guessing game. Should he be gentle or harsh with this tortured soul.

He spotted a kerosene lamp on a table near the window and checked to see that the windows were covered. Walking over he lit the lamp and softly called, "Chief. Chief I'm here. I was worried about you. Why do you have the drug out? I know you don't want to go back on it. And you know how much I hated giving it to you when you first got here."

Chief began to tremble and with a hollow voice asked, "Permission to speak, Handler?"

Garrison was scared for Chief now. If he couldn't pull Chief back from this nightmare he could be lost for good. "Permission granted, Guardian."

"I was wrong, Handler. I need the drug to be a good Guardian for you."

Garrison felt as if Chief had just punched him in the gut. How was he going to bring him back? "Chief there is no way you could be a better Guardian than you are now."

Suddenly Chief's head went to the floor. "Please, Handler, I can do better. Please let me try. With the drug I will do better."

Garrison was on his knees trying to figure out what he had said wrong and then mentally kicked himself when he realized how Chief had interpreted his words. "Chief, I meant you are a good Guardian, the best! We wouldn't be alive today, let alone had as many successful missions as we've had, without you. I meant you can't get better because you are the best."

All Chief could do was shake his head. Then he said, "I was wrong again, Handler. I've broken the rule. I am a stupid dog. I let myself dream of stupid things. You have to make me stop so I can be better. You have to give me the drug and then correct me fast and hard until I am a good Guardian and not a lazy one making stupid mistakes and breaking the rules. Help me, Handler." Every word tore at Garrison's soul. Then his eyes fell on the drug case containing G-CAT's poison. He was so enraged by the sight of the poison he pulled it out of Chief's hands, dropped the vial and syringe on the floor and slammed his foot down hard smashing it all to dust.

Chief looked up and cried "No handler I need the drug to be better…I"

Garrison outraged at G-CAT's treatment of this man or any human being for that manner, shouted, "Those are G-CAT words and they lie, Chief! You know they lied to you! They've lied to everyone. That poison destroys everything that is good about you and that you want me to give it to you again makes me feel like you're taking a knife and cutting into my soul. Why do you want to hurt me like this?"

Chief frightened and confused, "I can't hurt the Handler. I must protect the Handler. I…don't understand. I…I'm begging you. Help me, Handler."

"Chief, I am your Hearth not the "Handler". I never want to be a Handler and I never could be one. They are evil men. What they do to Guardians is evil. G-CAT is evil just like the Nazis we're fighting. You can't ask me to be like them. I can't and won't be like them in any way."

Chief, put his forehead back to the floor. "The Hearth is a dream, a fantasy…a lie. There is no Hearth just the Handler. I… dreamed you were my Hearth. It was just a dream. I…" He stopped trembling. "When the dreams die it is worse than stopping the drug or any correction. I have to stop dreaming now or I will …"

Garrison had to stop him or in a few more minutes Chief would catout, "Guardian tell me about the dreams. Now Guardian!" He ordered harshly.

Garrison thought he might be beginning to understand a little of what was tormenting him. He was talking about dreams of hope; a future with a chance of freedom. When dreams die, hope dies, and the grief from that loss would be unbearable for anyone. He was afraid to lose the hope that Garrison being his Hearth had given him. Chief had told him that, The Hearth that was like a light in the darkness for him to follow back to himself when he went out too far to scan. The Hearth was his Center in the physical world, a little like the North Star for sailors. The Hearth was Home. To replace all that with someone like a G-CAT Handler in the training manual would be a living hell for anyone.

Chief slowly raised his head up and then sat back on his heels but kept his eyes down. "Handler, I won't…"

Garrison sharply, "Guardian, don't move and tell me what the dreams were, now!"

Chief was shaking now in terror at what the Handler would do as he described his stupid dreams but he had to speak. "I dreamt that my Handler was the Hearth."

Garrison again harshly trying to sound like a Handler, "I know about that one. What are the others? You will tell me all of them."

Chief whispered, "I dreamt that my teammates would help me be free." And Chief cringed waiting for the blows to fall.

Garrison "I already know about that. What are the others?"

Chief "I dreamt that I was… a… real person."

Garrison said, "I know about that one. What are the others?"

Chief, shaking violently now whispered, "I…dreamt….that…Actor…was… brother."

Garrison was silent. G-CAT had beaten it into Chief that Guardians didn't have families. No one wanted Guardians. There families gave their Guardian children away because they were ashamed to have a Guardian child. Yes, Garrison thought for a Guardian to dream of having a family that cared about him and wanted to help him would be a great sin in the eyes of G-CAT. Yet, the way Chief said Actor was brother and Chief's reaction when Actor was hurt on the last mission made him believe their might be a little something more to his dream.

Garrison asked in a softer but firm tone, "What does brother mean to you in your dream?"

Chief whispered, "Brother is Family. Family is…" he seemed to be searching for the right words "like the Hearth but not as…strong."

Garrison needed to know more, "Chief in your dream you are connected to your Hearth. You can find your Hearth anywhere. Is it the same for Brother? Are you telling me you are now connected to Actor and can find him anywhere?"

Now Chief's voice was breaking, "I'm sorry. I don't know how it happened. I was in the garden and Actor was in the study upstairs and I knew Actor was upset by something, just like when he was hurt before. I had to find him and help Actor. I'm sorry, Handler. I don't know how to stop it. I don't know why it happened. Please give me the drug and correct me now so I don't keep making these stupid mistakes. I want to be a good Guardian." And he dropped his forehead to the ground again.

Garrison's heart ached for the young tormented man kneeling in front of him. He could actually feel his pain. Katherine had told them that one of the best things they could do when Chief was lost like this was to do the opposite of what a Handler would do. So, he got up and found a blanket and placed it over his fallen comrade-in-arms. Chief whimpered and started to pull the blanket off.

Garrison snapped, "No Guardian! Wrap the blanket around yourself and stand up!"

Garrison watched as Chief struggled to his feet holding the blanket around his shoulders.

Garrison saw the bed Chief was using and said, "Guardian, listen to me, get into the bed and pull the covers over you." Garrison knew he was treading on dangerous waters. To Chief the only reason for a Handler to order him into a bed was so that the Handler could use him but he needed to get Chief warm and off the damn floor. Garrison watched as Chief slowly nodded in acceptance of what ever his Handler had in mind to do to him. Garrison's stomach rolled at the knowledge of just how perverted G-CAT was.

Chief got into his bed and turned on his side to allow Garrison easy access to his body. Garrison ordered, "I told you to pull the covers over you!" The young man jerked and quickly covered himself.

Garrison grabbed a chair and pulled it to the side of the bed. "Guardian, face me!" Chief complied. "Guardian, you must always listen to your Handlers and Trainers, correct?" Garrison didn't wait for a response. "You know you must do whatever your Handlers and Trainers tell you! So you will listen to me carefully." Garrison waited a moment and then began, "Everything G-CAT told you was a lie. The way they treated you was wrong and that is the only truth I ever want to hear from you again! You are a real person and deserve to be treated like one. You will never ask for the drug again! Do you understand what I'm saying?" Chief nodded. "No Chief, I want to know that you really do understand what I'm saying. Tell me!"

Chief looked up at him as if he was seeing Garrison for the first time. "I…Warden?"

Garrison smiled gently, "You back with me, Chief?" He waited and saw Chief nod slightly. "Good, you had me worried for awhile."

Chief, frowned, "I'm sorry. Everything got so confused, so fast…I…didn't. All I could hear…"

Garrison, said, "It's OK, I can guess how bad it got. Now, the only voice I want you to hear right now is mine and listen carefully to what I'm saying. OK?" Chief nodded. "I am not and will never be your Handler except, when we're working the con on G-CAT. I am your Hearth, Chief, and I am honored that you chose me. I am glad to know that Actor is what you called Brother to you now and I know Actor will be honored that you have chosen him as Brother."

"You are the proof that everything that G-CAT told you and the world about Guardians is a lie. You are not an animal and you don't deserve to be treated like one in anyway. Every real person makes mistakes at some time and a good real person works to make things better. That's exactly what you've been doing. Now, this is the most important thing I want you to remember. No person should ever have to go through what G-CAT did to you and you are a real person. And I know that somewhere in your mind and heart you know what I'm saying is the truth."

Garrison slowly and gently placed his hand over Chief's heart and then picked up Chief's hand and placed it over his own heart. "Know that I am telling you the truth. I am your Hearth and Actor is your Brother by bond. Goniff and Casino are your teammates and friends. You can't listen to G-CAT's lies anymore. Their lies are poison like the compliance drug. Promise me you will not to listen to them anymore."

For the first time since his mental ordeal began, Chief dared to look into Garrison's eyes and knew that Garrison was telling the truth. Garrison was his Hearth, that was the truth and nothing G-CAT could do would ever change that now. If Garrison was the Hearth then Actor was Brother and G-CAT couldn't change that either. As for Goniff and Casino, well he would just have to see. The Hearth said he was a real person, not an animal, the Hearth spoke the truth, he, the Guardian, must be a real person. The Hearth said he didn't deserve to be treated like an animal. These words were truth, not a dream, not a fantasy. G-CAT lied; everything they told him was a lie.

Chief finally whispered, "Truth." And he's hand reluctantly slid to the bed.

Garrison wanted to yell Thank You God but knew that would scare Chief so he smiled and removed his hand from Chief's chest. "Yes, my friend, I swear that what I told you and what I tell you in the future will be the truth."

Chief nodded as tears filled his eyes.

Garrison whispered, "You've had a rough time. Sleep for a little. I'll be right here."