Updated at last. I've been quite busy as I'm judging a set of fanfiction awards (Final fantasy VII fandom, there's a link on my profile) but I haven't forgotten about this story. Thanks to everyone who reviewed for showing their support.


In spite of the generous, benevolent feeling it didn't give Natsume to let Mikan sleep in his bed, and especially as she only seemed to cry in it and even he didn't think the mattress was that bad; the fatigue of not sleeping for well over twelve hours soon caught up with him, and he decided he needed to get some shut-eye as well, Mikan or no.

However, she was completely in his bed now and tucked up warmly under all of his covers as a result of his poor attempts at comforting her from a nightmare – the one that apparently ended with the question 'why aren't you crying?' as she'd just come out with it suddenly, and as much as he yelled at or shook her afterwards she wouldn't answer his questions or even her own.

She even seemed to have never properly woken up in the first place, as she started sniffing again and stared straight through him to the door, as if there were someone there when in reality there wasn't.

So cruel as he could be, he couldn't kick her out in that state: she hadn't slept last night either, so he just sighed and tugged and prodded her under the covers, tucking her up the way his parent's used to do to him and simply curling up in a lightly padded chair himself and propping his feet up on the end of the bed. It was by no means heaven, but he was far too tired to care.

"Nite" he mumbled to no one in particular and quickly nodded off, wrapping his tightly robe around his body to gain whatever warmth it could provide, as someone had all the blankets as well.


"You find them?" someone with a long hood covering their face asked the moment they set foot outside the door. They nodded, and they began to hurry down the back alley, moving away from the sounds of conflict.

"How many were they?" Someone asked in a low voice as he followed behind them, watching their backs for any pursuers and waving a signal over to the driver.

"Didn't see," They grunted in reply, "more than four." Someone seemed to sigh unhappily and quickly overtook them, calling out to someone in the driver's cab.

"Better check them quickly, … , it's not worth coming all this way for nothing." Someone announced, and as the door of the van swung open someone else stepped out.

Exhausted already and sure they were in fact bleeding through that wound again, they didn't need to be told twice to put the children down; as the fighting appeared to be nearly over one or two other people came running up, and they laid the two fragile bodies down on the ground.

"Uh, mission accomplished?" Someone else enquired hopefully, only to be hushed by someone. They were just about to relax when a foreboding sound interrupted them.

"Uh-oh…"


Mom's favourite sweets were kept in a jar on top of the kitchen cupboard, and when me or … had done something good dad would get the jar down and let us have one, then so mom wouldn't find out he'd slowly replace them with marbles so the level in the jar looked the same, though I think she noticed after she broke a tooth on one.

I always tried really hard with something if I thought dad might give me one of Mom's sweets, but they're not here anymore so I don't tend to so much.


"Jii-chan… where are my mom and dad?"

"In the stars, (white noise)."


An indeterminable amount of time later, Natsume woke, sluggishly, his eyes half open and heavy under their own weight. In his semi-conscious state he realized just how uncomfortable he was on the chair, and spotting his bed right in front of him he didn't think twice about crawling around, with slow sloth-like movements, to lie down and press his face gratefully into his pillow.

He didn't seem to notice Mikan next to him, not even when she rolled over and nearly hit him in the face.


"Natsume?"

"Mikan?"

They couldn't see each other, even though they both saw a rich dreamlike landscape surrounding them, although they still seemed to be able to communicate somehow.

"Natsume?"

"Mikan."

"Natsume??"

"Mikan?"

"Natsume!"

"Yes Mikan?"

"Natsume?!"

"What Mikan!"

Even in dreams it seemed that old patterns didn't change.

"Oh… it really is Natsume."

"Of course it is, idiot."

"Where are we?"

"Why would you ask me that? It's your dream isn't it?"

"It is?"

"…"

"I thought it was yours."

"…"

"Natsume?"

"Don't start that again."

"Oh, sorry."

"…But…"

"What?"

"Why would I dream about you?"


When Natsume and Mikan woke up, it was some five hours later when Ruka, having come to Natsume's room to see him after school ended, knocked on the door.

The immediate reaction was confusion, as neither Mikan nor Natsume remembered having got into bed together, however, there they were: Natsume was on top of the covers while she was beneath them, but Mikan was also laying on his chest with an arm looped across his stomach, and he had an arm wrapped respectively around her shoulders.

Considering they hadn't even slept like that before: the closest they'd got in the past was definitely nowhere near sleeping together (in any sense of the word – they were twelve), so it was unusual that they'd managed to mould so perfectly into one another and it felt like the most natural thing in the world. If they weren't Natsume and Mikan, of course.

Next came surprise.

"Wah! Natsume!" Mikan squeaked as she bolted upright and rubbed her face instinctively, "I'm sorry!"

"Mmnnmgh" he groaned in response, never one to wake very well, sitting up and staring down at a small damp patch on his chest, "urm…have you been crying on me?" He slurred, gradually focusing on her face as she rubbed around her eyes curiously, but they both came to the conclusion that for once Mikan had not been having any nightmares.

Which mean that patch could only be one thing.

"…Gross, Mikan." Natsume clipped as she wiped the drool from the corner of her mouth.

"Well…um… at least I didn't cry, right?" she said defensively, as she tried to wriggle away from him and realized she'd been put properly into the bed, "hey… how did I get here?" She asked, only vaguely recalling making it to the bed in the first place, and definitely not getting in it.

"Oh, I did that," he muttered, "when you were crying and I woke you up."

"Eh?" She replied curiously, "when was that?" he turned to look at her with disbelief.

"You don't remember?" he said, "you talked to me, you even sat up and got under the covers… you said something like 'why aren't you crying' and that there was someone at the door and you blew your nose on my covers." Her blank expression convinced him that she really didn't remember any of that.

"Okaay." He muttered sarcastically and rolled off the bed, though he realized he wasn't really any better himself, as he went to sleep on that chair and woke up somewhere else entirely without having any memories of moving whatsoever.

Whilst this confused exchange had been taking place, Ruka was still standing outside the door listening to the muffled voices.

"Natsume?" he knocked on the door again, "is there someone in there with you?" Both Mikan and Natsume froze and felt a bolt of panic, obviously enough she wasn't meant to be there and explaining it would not be an easy task… even to Ruka.

Natsume knew of course that Ruka still held a torch for Mikan on a semi-serious basis, and would rather die than put him through thinking there was something happening between them, which even though there wasn't, he would almost inescapably assume there was if he walked in now.

"Um…" he ran to the door and pushed it shut just as Ruka twisted the handle and opened it, "just a second, Ruka, I've got to…" he gestured for the bed and after a moments confusion, thinking he wanted her to get back in bed, Mikan realized he meant under it and quickly dived across the floor, dragging her feet out of sight last as Natsume tore open the door and panted.

"Hey! Is it that time already?" he tried to ignore Ruka peering past him and looking around the room suspiciously.

"I thought I heard you talking to someone…" he said quietly, and Natsume shrugged and coughed poignantly as he let Ruka in and closed the door behind him.

"Nope." He replied darkly, "I was just… thinking out loud…" Ruka gave him an odd look and Natsume didn't blame him for it; he wasn't exactly the sort to talk to himself.

"Anyway." He moved the conversation on quickly and paced his room, as even though he hadn't slept for long he felt quite energised, "I'll be back in class tomorr… actually, do we have chemistry tomorrow?"

"Um, no." answered Ruka vaguely.

"Okay, yeah, I'll be back in class tomorrow." He said, moving back to the chair he'd slept in and sitting cross-legged on it, "and…anything in particular you came for?" he said, plain ignoring the muffled sounds of protest and 'get rid of him' coming from under his bed.

"Not really, just to talk, I guess." Ruka replied, and at that Mikan learnt that her two best male friends talked about absolutely nothingof interest when they were on their own, and in spite of being underneath a dusty bed curled up in a ball hiding from Ruka of all people, she fell asleep.

It was probably an hour and a half until she woke up again, sneezing herself awake and crawling out from under the bed with water streaming from her eyes.

"Oh," Natsume looked up from a book with a deadpan expression, Ruka having left almost forty minutes ago, "you're still here."

"What do you mean 'still here'?!" she screeched, "you forgot I was there, Natsume!" He shrugged and went back to his book.

"You were being unusually quiet." He remarked, though it wasn't the wisest move considering she was already mad.

"I was asleep!" wailed Mikan as she scrubbed dirt that tears had locked on her face, "and look, the dust even made my eyes water."

"Or you were crying again." He muttered and she shot him a serious look.

"I thought that stopped? I mean… earlier…" she said as he shrugged yet again.

"Could've been an exception." He turned the page and tried to think of reasons why he might conveniently 'forget' she was there and allow her to stay in his room, hidden, much longer than was necessary. Remembering, he tried to keep his voice cool and indifferent as he asked, "do… you remember what you dreamt about?"

"Uhmmm," she said as she dusted out her clothes and sneezed again, "let's see… I think I… maybe I saw the ocean, um, but it might not have been, because, there was a… fire or something…" his breath caught in his throat; if anyone dreamt about burning oceans it would be him. After all, he'd seen them before. He'd created them before.

(But why would she?)

"And… there were some people, as well…" she continued obliviously, "but… I'm not sure… they disappeared and I heard some noises and …" he dropped the book to listen, wondering just how far the comparison would go and if she would give up any details, trying to tell if what he thought had happened had really happened.

"And?" he echoed.

"And…then I sneezed." She chuckled, "you know, Hotaru told me that you only remember dreams when you wake up before the end."

Natsume rolled his eyes and sighed; only Mikan could ruin something like that so well.

"Tch, better get out of here then," he told her flatly, "Unless you want to go back under the bed of course."

"Not really." She replied, folding up his blankets and making a half-hearted attempt to make the bed, "so I guess… see you later, then?"

"Yeah," he said, "tomorrow. Only one more day until the weekend."

"Natsume!" she scolded, "you haven't been to one day of class this week!" he smirked and picked up the book again as she passed him going to the door.

"Still one day too many." He replied under his breath, and she grinned and shrugged before peeking round the door out into the hallway, and then dashing out with a quick 'bye!'

He then spent the next hour or so feeling like he'd been dangerously friendly with Mikan, and wondering why it had made him feel so odd waking up next to her.

That evening, both to her annoyance and his suspicion, they had matching sleepless night awaiting them yet again, and as a result were also on time to school – as they had been up since the early hours of the morning anyway.


Mikan was slumped over her desk when he came through the door, and only murmured a weary "good-morining," and yawned into the table.

"You as well, then." He replied and she slowly looked up at him, noticing tell-tale rings under his eyes and even more of a slouch than usual. As he slumped into the seat beside her she gathered up enough energy to speak.

"I did it before…" she whined, "why just not at night?" He realized this would be a good opportunity to mention his idea, but only got as far as 'about that…' before some other early bird burst into the classroom and ruined their privacy.

"Eh? Huyga-san? Mikan-chan?" the boy greeted then suspiciously, "why are you two both here so early."

"Oh, we didn't get much sleep last night," Mikan answered just as Natsume whacked her on the back of the head.

"Don't say it like that!" He told her, and then turning to their classmate amended the statement, "neither of us could sleep last night, Kyo-kun, because of our… hospital meds." He elbowed Mikan just in case she was considering exposing this as a lie, but fortunately she didn't wish to be in any rumours either and had just realized what that might've sounded like.

"Oh, are you guys okay?" the boy replied, "someone told me you were in an accident a while ago. Must've been quite bad if you were off for this long." Natsume shrugged and Mikan started to snore as she snoozed on the desk with Natsume's elbow still embedded firmly in her ribs.

"Oi, wake up," Natsume jogged her and she snorted herself awake, "you'll end up in trouble if you can't even stay awake for five minutes."

"Aaw." She groaned, "I was having a nice dream as well… I was playing sparklers with some children… and whenever one went out I'd fix it for them." He bolted around to stare at her; this was the second time she'd come up with something like that.

"Fix how?" he demanded, and although she looked at him a bit funny eventually answered.

"I could re-light them," she said, and then after pause added, "sort of like if I could make fire to… hey, sort of like if I had your Alice, Natsu—"

She stopped dead as the weight of her words hit her, then turning to him stunned found herself on the receiving end of a desperately serious look.

"Natsume?" She said meekly, and without breaking eye contact he held out an arm and pointed towards the door, "could you leave us alone for a few minutes, Kyo-kun." It was an order and not a question.

"But…" the boy protested, however when the air around him started warming up in a somewhat threatening way he quickly corrected himself, "yes of course Natsume-san." And hurriedly left the classroom.

"Why did he have to leave?" Mikan asked him, but Natsume only held his transfixing stare.

"Mikan," he started to say carefully, "I think-"

"Natsume-san?" A voice he was sure he'd banished out of the room sounded up.

"I asked you to leave, Kyo-kun." He said threateningly, and tilted his head a fraction to notice his classmate standing awkwardly just by the door.

"Yes Natsume-san, but…" the boy started nervously.

"No buts!" Natsume hissed, "out, Kyo."

"I think, Natsume-kun, that I might have a but," a cold and deadly voice announced, one belonging to a similarly cold and deadly man. Natsume shudder and Mikan's head lowered as she stared into her lap.

"Persona…" they whispered in unison, then exchanged a worried glance at their mimicry.

"Kyo-kun, was it?" That deadly voice continued, and Mikan heard a faint gasping followed by a stifled wail, as Persona had most probably brushed the boy very lightly – not enough to do lasting damage, but it caused a fair amount of pain, as she was well aware, "be a good child and run along." They heard rushed and frightened footsteps fleeing the scene and this time it was Mikan who laid her hand over Natsume's as that person walked through the door.

"Ah, my two favourite pupils," he hissed hypnotically, though they knew that was a lie – Persona hated Mikan with a passion, "good to see you in class so early."

"You know us." Natsume clipped in a strained tone, "g-" he stammered and quickly stopped himself, taking a deep breath and flexing again Mikan's hand, "good students." Persona chuckled to himself, and brushed his fingertips against one of the plants in the window, which instantly wilted and died. This proved to be the last straw for Mikan.

"Look you!" she yelled suddenly and jumped up from her desk, her hand tearing away from his like a band-aid, "we've seen the Principal already so you don't have to be here! If you need to say something say it or you can just leave!" Persona paused, slighted, and slowly walked over to her with an arm outstretched. She met him with a brandished hand of her own in return.

"Don't try that," she said boldly, everyone in the room (all three of them) knew that the one person Persona couldn't intimidate was Mikan – because she could stop him if she wanted to, "or I'll use it."

Natsume stewed in his seat, wondering why he'd allowed himself to be cowed by that man and let Mikan stick her neck out instead – at least, he reasoned, it made them even after the meeting with the Principal.

"So fierce, Mikan-chan." Persona tutted, "it will bring you down one day." Natsume felt Mikan shiver, even though she had let go of his hand, and forcefully summoned his courage.

"Not if I can help it." He stood up and spat at Persona, mirroring her stance leaning over the desk and staring straight into that man's masked eyes.

"My, my, feeling brave, Natsume?" Persona lifted a hand and Natsume shook and backed away, but then the next second that thin but threatening wrist was slammed to the table on the end of a metal ruler, courtesy of Mikan.

"Enough!" she yelled, "stop your dirty tricks and get to the point!" a sinister smirk crossed Persona's face.

"Of course, Mikan-chan," he said in a scathing mockery of sympathy, then turning to Natsume said, "you have a mission."

"We have a mission." Mikan corrected loftily, but felt her arm being pulled back, and then Natsume pushed her down into her seat.

"No," he told her, and without looking at Persona continued, "I have a mission." She turned to plead with him, but he stopped her with a look and spared a brief glance at Persona, "I understand. I'll report tonight."

Persona smirked triumphantly at Mikan and crossed his arms, running his tongue behind his teeth as she tried to stare him out; he met her glare with restrained amusement and after a sufficiently unsettling pause turned his back on them to leave the classroom.

"I will be waiting, Natsume-kun," were his closing words, and as the door clicked shut Mikan felt a cold sweat break out on her forehead; looking over to Natsume saw that he had collapsed into his seat and was wheezing faintly.

"Natsume?" she gasped and grabbed his shoulder, "are you-?" He shook her hand off him and turned his back towards her, effectively shutting her out as he calmed himself and repressed the fit.

"Look, Mikan," he eventually said, though he still wouldn't face at her, "I know things have been… a bit weird for us since that night…" she slowed any interruption she had been planning on making and fell unresistingly mute as he continued, "but… well, it's just because you did you that." She knew very well what that was: the ever-forbidden five letter s-word.

"And," he said with a heavy breath, "I want to make it clear… that," another pause, "nothing's changed, okay?" she would've pointed out that things obviously had changed if he had not spoken again before she had.

"I mean I know there are some funny things going on," he glanced over his shoulder and noticed confused classmates wandering drowsily into the room, "but, they are just… side-effects. They'll probably go away."

She wondered if that really would be the case, as it wasn't something she felt like she could place her confidence in.

"What I'm trying to say is, even though stuff is a bit odd now, 'we' aren't any different from what 'we' were before." He finished guiltily, and Mikan tried to cover up the fact that she'd been hurt by his words in making Ruka coming into the classroom a standing occasion.

"Ruka-Pyon!" she said and jumped to her feet, "good morning! Did we have any homewo-urk!" the last of these syllables was made by Natsume yanking Mikan back by her jumper as she tried to flee their desk, and he dragged her close with a sense of concealed urgency.

"Wait up!" he hissed, and for a golden moment she thought he was going to apologize, "I still need to tell you something, skip next lesson and meet me-" twisting and writhing away from him Mikan stumbled out from behind the desk and into the aisle of the classroom.

"No, Natsume!" she spat, still hurt and it was now even worse than before, "you can't have it both ways, you know? 'Nothing's changed'? Okay, then I won't be skipping any lessons for you or agreeing to meet you anywhere. Ruka," she changed the direction of her speech in a heartbeat, "I saved you a seat. I'll be sitting over here today." She stomped across the classroom with the intention of sitting as far away from Natsume as she could, but half way across the room she appeared to trip or slip on something and went flying backwards headfirst.

As she sat up and rubbed the bump growing on the back of her head she was sure she heard a certain person mutter the word 'clumsy' behind his hand, and hissed through the back of her teeth as she pressed her hand heavily over the sharply throbbing bruise.


"…Natsume?" Ruka questioned a little later, in the middle of their first lesson of the day, "has anything-… I mean, do you think there's been something wrong with Mikan recently?" Natsume snorted into his comic book and shrugged ambiguously.

"She's in a bad mood today." He said and refused to let himself look across the room to the girl in question sleeping over her desk, "I dunno what else you mean."

"Well… sort of…" Ruka murmured, "she seems a little…" Natsume did know, in fact he knew better than anyone else, however he didn't intend to let Ruka in on it: the less people realized that there was something funny going on the better.

"She's fine." He cut in, "nothing can trouble that small brain of hers for long." He half wished then that he could use those words on himself; this situation with Mikan had just taken a sour turn, Persona was back on his heels and he was feeling increasingly woozy from the lack of sleep.

He had that mission tonight as well, and bluntly decided that being well rested was more important than 15th century agriculture and simply stood up and walked out of the lesson.

"Hyuga-kun!" the teacher tried to stop him, but he walked straight past her with no more than a few restrained words.

"Persona will vouch for me." He muttered, and carried on straight through the door while the rest of the class started to whisper.

However, sleeping in daytime was never something he did with much ease anyway, and he was thinking in overdrive and couldn't turn his mind off either, so instead of going back to his room and lying in agony for several sleepless hours he went to the medical bay and cashed in a dodgy prescription for some sleeping pills.

Perhaps then he'd be able to get a good night's sleep, he thought as he trudged back to his dorm with what felt like a lead weight in his stomach and a bottle of pills in his hand. The label read 'children – half a tablet, adults and over 16s – one or two' so he took two and didn't take any painkillers like he would usually: he wasn't a total idiot and knew what mixing prescriptions could do.

It wasn't like he was planning on dying any time soon. Not from that at least.

And that's what the pills and drugs were for: they let him live in the most normal and comfortable way… in the short-term. Sure they'd probably kill him later in life, but first he had to live to 'later life', so he'd deal with that hurdle when and if it ever came.


It just gets worse and worse for poor Natsume, huh?

Thanks for reading and leave a review.